Sorry, sorry and sorry again, those waiting for me to update JCH or something worthwhile. The truth is…I fail. I fail at life. I meant to update JCH at Hallowe'en (which was…hmm…5 or 6 months ago? Heheheh…) but I got distracted with school work and homework, then there was NaNoWriMo (which I lost, you'll be glad to know. Darn my lack of planning and organisation) THEN I got involved in a pantomime, which finished only a couple of weeks ago, then I had some exams and NOW, FINALLY, I'm going to work on the chapter. I've probably lost all of my readers; 'cause I fail that way…oh well, maybe there are those who still care.

So yeah, sorry.

I know what you're thinking. 'ANOTHER pointless oneshot, Flare? You boring, unoriginal weirdo!' Well, sorry guys. I couldn't help it; this idea just came to me and I HAD to write it!

Hope you enjoy! Also, MAJOR WARNING OF WEIRDNESS SO WEIRD, IT'S DISTURBING! *Shudder*

I don't own TT, Doctor Who or My Little Pony. Nor do I in any way possess QVC or Barry Scott or the random phone number used. But I DO own UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE!

ENJOY!

It was a dreary day. The sky was thick with heavy, grey clouds, obscuring all sunlight. Fat raindrops thundered down like bullets upon the ground, creating a rhythmic pitter-patter on the window pane of a small, white house.

Inside the house, two young people sat watching the TV, the remote dangling from the older one's hand. "I'm bored," he stated randomly, lifting the remote to change the channel.

"No!" the girl, who could only be his sister, squealed. "My Little Pony's on next!"

"No way am I watching that kiddie programme," snorted the boy.

"Well, I am. So there." In a fit of maturity she stuck her tongue out at him and folded her arms.

"Ah, but you forget; I have the remote!" The boy smirked and waved said-device in front of her face, laughing as he pulled it away when she tried to make a grab for it. He pointed it back at the TV and changed the channel.

"You're mean!" she whined, pouting. She turned and pounced on her brother, managing to slam her thumb down on the remote button that would take them back to My Little Pony.

"Hey!"

Scooting to the side, he switched it back, but again the girl attacked him. This went on for a while, the channel continuously switching from My Little Pony to Doctor Who. Once or twice it somehow landed on the QVC shopping channel, submitting the two children to a plastic smile raving on about the 'clarity and beauty of this exquisite and rare piece of tanzanite!'

Then everything went black.

Well, not literally. The TV screen buzzed before turning blank, and the lights – which had been switched on because the curtains were closed – flickered out, throwing the two children into darkness.

The girl screamed and hid in her brother's chest. He huffed in annoyance. "Stupid weather. Man up, sis. S'just a power-cut."

"Don't like power-cuts…" she mumbled in reply.

"Who does? It'll come back in a bit. I'll find the candles." He prised the young girl off him and got up, only to stumble around the room, feeling for the drawer of candles. He had just managed to find the drawer, and was patting around to find a match box, when he heard a short buzzing noise.

"Oh! Don't worry, the power came back!" his sister yelled joyfully from the sofa. The boy frowned and glanced behind him. The lights were still out; nothing else in the room was working but the TV screen had gone bright orange.

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Yeah! Huh? The zapper won't work!" She had picked up the remote, but however hard she jabbed the buttons, the TV wouldn't respond. His frown deepened as he strode over and took the remote from his sister.

"Hm, you're right. That is odd."

"HELLO!"

"AH!" The siblings screamed as one and dived into each other's arm, staring at the TV in horror. The orange screen had melted away to be replaced by the wide, grinning face of a girl, who wore a flashy, gold jacket.

"I'm Flare the Frivolous! Are you a budding young writer?" the girl asked, Barry Scott-style. "Do you love romance and stories of pure fluff? But are you finding yourself stuck with the dreaded writer's block? If you answered yes to all of those questions – or more! – then I have just the thing for you!"

"…What the heck?" the boy yelped, prodding buttons at random on the remote, but nothing worked.

"I give you new UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE! UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE is unoriginal, romantic, a template, and works for any story!" Flare gave her unwilling audience and cheesy wink. "Don't believe me, then have a sneaky peak at the best selling UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE and see for yourself!"

She waved her pencil-wand – which in reality was a normal HB pencil sprayed gold and with a few red, plastic gems stuck on the end – and the screen was immediately filled by a piece of text.

One day, (insert girl's name) was walking around (insert some random place) when she bumped into (insert boy's name). Upon seeing her (insert boy's name) began to blush as red as a very red thing.

"Hi (insert girl's name)" he stammered.

"Hi (insert boy's name)" (insert girl's name) replied, also turning bright red.

"Let's go to (insert romantic place)," he suggested. "I want to tell you something important."

"Okay!" (insert girl's name) replied, smiling happily as she followed (insert boy's name) to (insert romantic place).

They went to (insert romantic place) and sat down. (insert boy's name) stared at (insert girl's name)'s immense beauty.

(Insert girl's name) noticed the look and looked at him. "What's up?" she asked.

"Oh (insert girl's name) I can't keep it a secret anymore! I love you!"

"Really?" (Insert girl's name)'s beautiful eyes shone with tears. "You mean it?"

"Yes," (insert boy's name) replied. "I know you probably don't feel the same, so I shall now burst into tears."

(Insert girl's name) gasped dramatically. "Oh, (insert boy's name) do not cry, for I love you so much!"

"You do?" (insert boy's name) gaped happily.

"Yes!"

"Hooray!" They both smiled and drew nearer. They stared at each other's mouths as they loomed closer, both waiting in hopeful anticipation for the moment their lips would touch.

Finally, their lips touched in an awesome, magical, epic kiss. When they pulled away, they stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you," (insert boy's name) whispered.

"I love you too," (insert girl's name) replied.

"Wasn't that GREAT!" Flare exclaimed when the text disappeared. "And it's so easy to use! Just fill in the gaps with your favourite couples' names, and some random places, and it's good to go!Take a look at this!"

Again, the screen was filled by a paragraph of text.

One day, Starfire was walking around Titan's Tower when she bumped into Robin. Upon seeing her Robin began to blush as red as a very red thing.

"Hi Starfire," he stammered.

"Hi Robin," Starfire replied, also turning bright red.

"Let's go to the roof," he suggested. "I want to tell you something important."

"Okay!" Starfire replied, smiling happily as she followed Robin to the roof.

They went to the roof and sat down. Robin stared at Starfire's immense beauty.

Starfire noticed the look and looked at him. "What's up?" she asked.

"Oh Starfire, I can't keep it a secret anymore! I love you!"

"Really?" Starfire's beautiful eyes shone with tears. "You mean it?"

"Yes," Robin replied. "I know you probably don't feel the same, so I shall now burst into tears."

Starfire gasped dramatically. "Oh, Robin, do not cry, for I love you so much!"

"You do?" Robin gaped happily.

"Yes!"

"Hooray!" They both smiled and drew nearer. They stared at each other's mouths as they loomed closer, both waiting in hopeful anticipation for the moment their lips would touch.

Finally, their lips touched in an awesome, magical, epic kiss. When they pulled away, they stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you," Robin whispered.

"I love you too," Starfire replied.

Flare brushed a tear away from her cheek. "So romantic! See how easy it is to make brilliant romance stories with no writers block, but excellent results every time! Still don't believe that UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE works every time? Take a look at this little story!

One day, Madame Rouge was walking around The Brotherhood of Evil Headquarters when she bumped into General Immortus. Upon seeing her, General Immortus began to blush as red as a very red thing.

"Hi Madame Rouge," he stammered.

"Hi General Immortus," Madame Rouge replied, also turning bright red.

"Let's go to the Brain's Chess Room," he suggested. "I want to tell you something important."

"Okay!" Madame Rouge replied, smiling happily as she followed General Immortus to the Brain's Chess Room.

They went to the Brain's Chess Room and sat down. General Immortus stared at Madame Rouge's immense beauty.

Madame Rouge noticed the look and looked at him. "What's up?" she asked.

"Oh Madame Rouge, I can't keep it a secret anymore! I love you!"

"Really?" Madame Rouge's beautiful eyes shone with tears. "You mean it?"

"Yes," General Immortus replied. "I know you probably don't feel the same, so I shall now burst into tears."

Madame Rouge gasped dramatically. "Oh, General Immortus, do not cry, for I love you so much!"

"You do?" General Immortus gaped happily.

"Yes!"

"Hooray!" They both smiled and drew nearer. They stared at each other's mouths as they loomed closer, both waiting in hopeful anticipation for the moment their lips would touch.

Finally, their lips touched in an awesome, magical, epic kiss. When they pulled away, they stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you," General Immortus whispered.

"I love you too," Madame Rouge replied.

"See! What did I tell you! And the best part is that this amazing, wonderful, totally predictable UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE can be yours for just ten easy payments of £1200! WOW!"

There was a slight pause as Flare turned her head to the right and to another camera. "But wait, there's more! If you order this UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE by next Sunday, you'll receive two other, and completely new, UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATES absolutely FREE! Order now on 8667444625 78679! Here's that number again 8667444625 78679! Remember offer expires Sunday. UNORIGINAL ROMANCE STORY TEMPLATE!"

And with that, the TV went black. Brother and sister stared at each other, pale in the face, and back at the TV. Ten minutes later, the power came back on, but the boy straight away turned the TV off.

Two hours later, the door opened and in stepped their mother, who almost fell over at the sight she was met with. Her two children were sat on the sofa, side by side, reading books.

"What are you kids doing?" she asked, feeling slightly faint.

The boy looked up and bluntly replied, "Reading," as if this were obvious.

"Hm…okay…" She shook her head, deciding not to look too far into the strange occurrence, and picked up the remote. "Why don't we watch-"

"NO!" the two children yelled as one, leaping to their feet in horror. The mother hastily dropped the remote and exited the room.

"What has gotten into them?"

I told you, I TOLD you there was some disturbing stuff in there. You shoulda listened to me, shouldn't ya! Don't come crying and complaining to me when you have nightmares…

And that number again is

8 6 6 7 4 4 4 6 2 5 7 8 6 7 9

Work out what it means and I'll give you a cyber cookie. Hurray-ness! And no, the children in the story are nothing to do with any TT characters. They are just random kids who were forced to a torturous advert of doom.

REVIEW PLEASE!

With love and peace, Flare xXxXx