-[Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia]-

-[Roderich's POV]-

I stand there, watching him leave. I call out his name multiple times - he doesn't seem to care. "Vash!" I cry out, "please..." But when I hear the door slam, I glare at it sourly. He's going to just leave me...? He's the one who started it, why isn't he helping me? He helped me before!

It's then that I realize - what could he help me with? I'm useless, just as I was before. I sit back down on the bench and press my hands against the keys, wanting (and trying desperately) to hear the pitches.

XXX

I-I can't... I can't do it anymore.

It's all his fault... If he hadn't been angered enough to take out his gun, none of this would have happened.

x

Day Five (of Being Deaf):

It's still complicated, really. I have gotten better at learning how to read people's lips, but it isn't helping much. Learning new words from people's mouths is hard. I've glanced at the clocks every minute, waiting to hear the small tick it would make beforehand, but I don't. I have ended up finding myself pretending I'm hearing things - but when I told Elizabeta that she said cow, she wrote down that she actually said 'now'. It was close enough, and yet, still so far away.

I just want things to go back to the way they were. But maybe there's a silver lining in this, like something will happen to me that hasn't before. At least that's what I'm hoping.

Vash is still avoiding me. I've gotten over the fact that it was his fault, when really it was mine. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time - just like always. So I hope he doesn't still think I'm pissed at him. Maybe that's the silver lining I mentioned before?

Either way, I don't want him obsessed over the fact that he made me deaf. I don't want him to torture himself. Because somewhere, deep down, I know he has that feeling. I just know it.

Maybe that is the silver lining instead? The fact that I care that he is hurting himself?

But... Why would that be beneficial to me?

x

I sigh, putting my pencil down. I didn't hear the sound it would make usually when it was set down, but I didn't care. I look over what I wrote and sigh again. Why would it be beneficial to me for him to know that I care about him? No, scratch that. I care that he's hurting himself and that I don't want him to. THAT'S what I care about.

...I think.

I glance around the empty room, glaring at the piano. I missed the chords I would play... I want to hear them again...!

But I look away, knowing I'll never be able to. I feel arms around me and brown hair slides around my shoulders and gets on my face. I smile and blush. "Elizabeta." I feel her neck vibrating, as if she's speaking, and I notice she's pointing at my writing. "It's nothing." Her chest heaves up and down once, like a sigh, and her throat vibrates again. "Can you write it down?" I ask and I feel her nod. She moves and grabs the paper I wrote on, flipping it to the back. I watch her write and she hands the paper to me.

'Vash is here to see you.'

I look up at her, confused. "Vash...? Wh-why...?" She shrugs and points to the doorway. Vash is standing there, holding his shoulder and wincing slightly. "What do you want? You left me, why are you here?"

He says something to Elizabeta and she nods, leaving the room. He looks at me. I look at his lips as he sits down on the piano bench. He motions for me to sit next to him but I don't move. "Roderich." He says and I focus on his lips. "I don't know why I even came here, but I just wanted you to know that Lili took my gun..."

"And? What did she do with it?"

"I-I... I..."

-[Vash's POV]-

"I-..." Should I say it? Roderich looks at my lips, so I know he's concentrating hard, and I bet it's difficult with me stuttering, so I should just spit it out. "I made her shoot me."

He reads my lips and his eyes go wide. "W-where?"

"I told her to shoot me in the head, but she couldn't do it. She shot my chest instead." He's over by me and he sits down, grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. I yelp when his chest hits my bullet wound and he curses.

"D-did I hurt you? Why would you think of doing this, you idiot?" I swallow back anything I was going to say and I look at him, into his purple eyes. He focuses on my lips, probably waiting for an explanation, but I don't give him one. He notices the blood creeping through my shirt and he closes his eyes.

"I wanted to fucking die, only since you felt like doing the same. I took away your life. That was the reason why I did it... I was just going to get back to my normal life but that image of you pounding your hands on the keys kept crawling back into my head! It hurt, okay?" I yelp out and he looks back at me.

"Vash... You're an idiot...! Do you know how reckless this is...? You could've TALKED to me!" He shouts and tears fall out of his eyes. Why is HE crying?

"How can I talk to you when you don't even know what the hell I'm saying?" I scream, and he didn't know what I said, since he's too busy unbuttoning my shirt.

He ignores looking at my lips again and slips off my shirt. His eyes lock on the scar I have from him when we fought, but his fingers trace the bullet in my left shoulder, getting bloody. "Vash..."

"You know it's true..." He nods and I can tell he's still panicking. Why? He hesitates and gets up, starting to dig through some drawers and cupboards. "Roderich? What are you doing?"

He ignores me again and mutters out, "I-I know they're here... I know they are... Where are they?"

What is he looking for? I hold my hand up to my wound and yelp slightly.

"Roderich," I call out his name and he opens up a drawer, and yells.

"Yes!"

He comes back to me and sprays me with something. I look at him confused. "What the hell was-"

"You should feel better..." He then places down the bottle and starts wrapping my wound. I look at the bottle. Was that the same bottle I had used every single time he got hurt...? I start feeling bad again and he notices it. He buries his head into my shoulder, muttering out my name. "Please get better, you idiot..."

"I don't want to," I mutter out and hold him close to me. He doesn't say anything else, and I look at him. Is he sleeping? I laugh slightly and he moves his head onto my wound. I screech slightly and shove him off of me. He lands on the floor and I sigh. "Shit."

He wakes up and hits me. "Why did you push me off?" I lock eyes with him and shake my head. I point to the bed and he sighs, sliding off his coat. I look away when he takes off his undershirt, and when I hear scuffling, I look. He holds the blanket up slightly. "I want you to sleep next to me. So if something happens... you can wake me up..." He is pleading with his eyes. I sigh once more and look away. He pouts and whispers out, "Please...?"

"Fine." I get up and walk over to him, getting into his bed awkwardly. He looks satisfied and turns over. I look at his skinny back, his spine slightly showing. I sigh again and reach out to touch his hip. He gasps slightly and I pull away. He looks at me and I look away, turning over. It sends a spark of pain up my spine but I ignore it.

"Thank you for sleeping next to me..." He whispers out into my ear and turns back.

"No... Problem... I-I guess..."