She hates the sound that goodbyes make

"I'm sorry, Caroline." She's listening to Tyler's voice message and realizes he doesn't sound very sorry. Not as sorry as he should for breaking up with her, for leaving, for calling and saying I'm done in a message that's only forty-three seconds long. Not as sorry as he should for someone who is gone and never coming back because he can't break his stupid sire bond to Klaus, but he's met a girl- werewolf, she corrects herself- named Claire who is bright eyed and lovely and so far removed from all things related to Klaus and Mystic Falls and her…

He doesn't sound sorry, so she deletes his message before it finishes. She doesn't really care about the part where he says goodbye. It would just serve as a reminder that even in her new, immortal life, there are things that are definite, eternal, forever.

Like her.

It's all the same if everybody leaves her

"I'm sorry, Care." Even with the pet name tacked on the end, she realizes Bonnie doesn't sound that sorry. Not as sorry as she should be for a best friend who has decided to leave the town they all grew up in. Not as sorry as she should be for politely informing Caroline that she's leaving and Caroline can't come because she needs to be away from vampires and that's what Caroline is always going to be. Not nearly as sorry as she should be for saying she invited Elena to come with her, but not Caroline because Caroline is some monster who isn't good enough like she's never been good enough because everyone is always comparing her to Elena who is just so fucking perfect, she's pretty sure even Jesus wouldn't measure up to her.

She doesn't sound very sorry, so she walks away before she can hear the inevitable goodbye. It just serves as a reminder that she's a monster and so long as Elena Gilbert is in the world, there's always going to be someone better than her.

Tries to act so nonchalant

"Can I buy you a drink?" Klaus sits next to her in some dive bar she found on accident and she doesn't put too much thought into wondering how he found her because that opens up a trail of thought she doesn't want to walk yet. So she just gives a little shrug, a delicate raise of the shoulder that tells him, Sure, why not. She's trying her hand at being delicate today because she wonders if someone as powerful and destructive as a vampire can be delicate.

"This is a nice establishment," he compliments and when she thinks about it, he's probably seen dive bars worse than this. He's old enough to remember a time when there were no bars and you brewed your own alcohol and drunkenness was something that would send you to hell. Granted, it might still send you to hell and Caroline wonders if, by being a vampire, she's already been given a one-way ticket to Hades. She wonders what that ticket would look like and when she thinks of her name written on it, she hopes it's written in Klaus' hand. She likes to think she'd be okay if he was the one writing her death warrant. At least it would be instantaneous.

"Why are you here?" she asks, not as delicate as she'd like, but the booze he's supply doesn't really help her pretend to be delicate and she's starting to realize that whenever she's around him, pretending is harder than usual. Like he knows all her bullshit and has used the same lines and come to think of it, he's probably written a few of those lines.

"Just thought I'd stop in for a drink," he bullshits and they both know it, but they're both waiting to see if she'll call him out and ask why he's really hear. They're both waiting to see if he'll tell the truth and she'll except it. They're both waiting for the other to say the thing they both need to hear.

So they wait a little more and drink a little more because they're vampires and while that may not mean a one-way ticket to hell, it does mean they have plenty of time to keep pretending.

Perfect only in her imperfection

"You're not going to find anything." She jumps because she's in her own world and sudden intrusions are never received well. And she glares as he stares at her from her doorway as she swipes her smeared lipstick from her face. She hates the fact he has a standing invitation to her house and wonders why things can't be like they are in books. If this was the Southern Vampire Mysteries, she could rescind his invitation and he'd be outside faster than she could blink.

He'd be Eric, naturally, because of his age and general caveman behavior. She'd be Sookie because it's her head and she can be the center of attention in her head if she wants to be. It's her world, dammit, and she'll be queen if she so chooses to be. But didn't Eric and Sookie fall in love? That's when she ends the fantasy and is perfectly find with the way things are in life, even if it's nothing like the books.

"What do you want?" she asks because it's sort of a tradition now to ask what he wants or why he's here or to just sit there and wait for him to kill her. He hasn't given a real answer yet and she's still breathing, but she keeps asking because she needs some sort of routine in her life at the moment. It's like she's drowning and he's her life raft, but she'd never tell him that because he'd smirk and make some snappy comment about he's pretty much God and she should just accept the fact and move on.

"I came to take you out." It's then that she notices the flowers he's holding awkwardly, as if this is the first time he's brought a girl flowers and it very well could be. And because he's not Eric and she's not Sookie and because she's Caroline and he's Klaus and he hasn't said goodbye yet and because no one would really care what she did right now, she reapplies her lipstick and pulls on a jacket and leaves his flowers sitting on her bed.

And because they're eternal and have nothing but time to waste, she doesn't ask him about the flowers or his first date or what it was like brewing his own beer.

Only seventeen and tired

"I think it's time to get you home." It probably is, because she's a vampire and her fingers are starting to blur on the table and she wonders if there's any alcohol left in the bar and why do they keep coming to bars? Don't vampires ever go to the movies or the library or just walk around and talk?

"I can get home just fine," she says, because her fingers are blurring, but her mind is still relatively clear enough that she could run back to her house and be close to sober by the time she got there. But Klaus doesn't like the idea of letting his date walk herself home and she tries to remind him she's not his date, but sort of forgets the majority of her thoughts when he lifts her into his arm and starts to carry her home like it's nothing strange and he does this all the time and hey, it's Tuesday, so I'm going to carry Caroline Forbes home.

And when he lays her in her bed he doesn't say he's sorry or that he's a terrible person or that she's ridiculous and shallow and should grow up. He doesn't say he's sorry and he doesn't say goodbye, he just smirks and says, "See you in the morning."

He's there in her kitchen when she wakes up making pancakes, or at least trying to make pancakes and they quickly discover just how useless they are at cooking, so he decides to take her out for breakfast. And she realizes then that there's more to being a vampire than blood and bars and goodbyes and really depressing, eternal things.

And because they're eternal and have nothing but time to waste, they make a silent pact to waste it together. They even shake on it when he takes her hand and walks her home.

He never says goodbye and on the rare occasions he apologizes, he actually means it and she forgives them because if she's learned anything about eternity…

She hasn't learned anything about eternity. All she knows is that he likes her enough to stay and she likes him enough not to question that. They have eternity to figure it out.

She just needs someone to take her home

[song fic inspired by "Beautiful Disaster" by Jon McLaughlin