A/N: Okay I started another story….here we go!
The Life I've Always Wanted
It was only supposed to be a two week undercover assignment. They were to pose as a married couple to infiltrate a baby smuggling ring, but nothing in this case had gone as planned and it's now been two months. Two months of Elliot and Olivia living together as a married couple. The assignment was starting to take its toll on Olivia. Living with her partner as his wife was starting to get to her, especially because she and Elliot had fallen into a married couple routine so easily.
The assignment had seemed so simple at the time. They were to move into a very swanky, exclusive neighborhood in upper Westchester County, a neighborhood populated by couples who were looking to adopt children. They had an excellent informant who gave them the information that children were being brought and then sold to the couples in there
And so they settled in, confident that they would get a break in the case quickly. Unfortunately, the only person they had met so far was their next door neighbor, who was the one that would be getting them their baby, but they didn't just want this guy, they wanted the big guy behind the little piece of shit. But that was a problem, as he was elusive, and no one in the neighborhood had met him.
Add to that the fact that It wasn't until they arrived and spoke with Seth Dugan, their neighbor, that they found out the way the system actually worked was that once they are given the baby, they have to live with the child for at least three months to see if they really want to go through with the adoption, then they pay for the child. That meant months of undercover work for them, as Novak had informed them she couldn't prosecute without one of them wearing a wire during the actual transfer of money for the child. When Olivia found this out, she wasn't happy but knew it was part of the job and she needed to do it, for the children.
But, Seth was continuously putting them off and now into their second month there, they still hadn't even received "their" child. Olivia was beginning to feel too comfortable living with Elliot as a married couple, and that was beginning to worry her.
She was beginning to look at him differently and had no idea where these feelings she was having were coming from. It had begun about a month ago. It had been a normal day. Elliot had gone to his fake job, Olivia stayed home and played the fake housewife, with their fake names, living their every day fake life; but for some reason that night Elliot had brought home flowers for her. She had been surprised and pleased. More pleased than she thought she should be. And since that night, she'd always smiled and got butterflies in her stomach when she would hear his key hit the front door. She didn't know what was going on. Was it just the close proximity they were forced into that was bringing about these feelings? They had been partners for twelve years, she never thought of him as anything but a friend. Or did she and she just couldn't admit it? Why did it feel different now? Was it because they were undercover and had no one but each other, or was it that she finally stopped fighting what she actually had been feeling for the past twelve years?
She figured the reason didn't matter, Elliot had never felt that way about her, and she was sure he still didn't. He was still married to Kathy, she thought to herself. The flowers were just Elliot being kind. Nothing more, she decided.
Olivia was startled out of her thoughts as she heard Elliot come through the front door.
"Honey! I'm home," she heard him yell sarcastically.
Laughing, Olivia emerged from the kitchen and without missing a beat said, "How was your day, dear?"
Elliot and Olivia both began to chuckle again at the situation.
"Good. How was your day, Mrs. Williams?" Elliot asked using their undercover name.
"Oh just grand, Mr. Williams," she responded dryly.
"Seriously, Liv. How was your day? I know you're getting bored hanging around this house everyday" he said, concerned.
"I guess it was okay," she responded.
Moving closer to her, Elliot rubbed her back and shoulders as he said, "Liv, I'm sorry. This should be over soon."
His touch startled her and shook her to her core. It was unexpected but welcomed. She didn't understand these feelings she was having, but she wanted to.
"El, you suck at lying. It doesn't look like this is ending any time soon. They keep putting us off about getting the baby. This is just ridiculous. We need to make some kind of move here." Olivia told him, moving away from his touch and turning around.
"We have to play this their way. We need to get the baby, but can't seem too eager."
"Yeah, I get that Elliot, but they'd said they give us the baby and then we'd have the trial period of three months before we pay them. Elliot we're gonna be here at least another three months! I don't know if I can do this anymore!" Olivia yelled.
"Liv, calm down please," Elliot begged moving closer to her. "What's going on with you? You're on edge all the time, you can't wait for this case to be over. This isn't like you. Talk to me, please?"
"I'm sorry….it's..just…it's nothing…El, really…it's nothing, just a bit of cabin fever. As much fun as being Rachel Williams has been, I want to be Olivia Benson again," she explained.
Turning her gently around once more and rubbing her back again, Elliot said, "I know. I get this is hard. It's part of the job though. You always give the job 110%. I just don't understand why your itching to get out of here."
"Aren't you? I mean don't you want to go back to the kids? What about Kathy? Don't you miss your actual wife?" Olivia said smirking.
"Of course I miss my kids, but I'm on the job they know that. As far as Kathy goes….I ummm…Liv, we've been divorced for about six months now." Elliot admitted.
Olivia felt a shiver run through her. She couldn't help but smile a bit at the fact that Elliot was no longer married and she felt like a real shitty friend for being happy at the demise of Elliot's marriage.
"God, El I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked.
Running his hand down his face and sighing, Elliot began to explain that he didn't tell anyone at work. He wasn't ready to deal with all the questions people would have and just decided not to talk about it
"Not even me?" Olivia asked with hurt in her voice.
"Liv, I'm sorry. It had nothing to do with not wanting to tell you, I just wasn't ready to deal with it all and talking about it would make it real. When I started getting past it, and feeling better, I thought if I mentioned it, it would just bring it all back. I was going to tell you when this assignment was over." Elliot explained.
"It's okay, El. I understand. Are you okay?" She asked genuinely concerned for him.
"Yeah, I am. It was hard at first, but I'm past it and we're both moving on." Elliot told her.
"Moving on? You mean Kathy is dating? Does that mean you are too?" she asked without trying to seem like she was prying.
"I think Kathy is dating, not really sure. I've gone out a few times, nothing serious. Just trying to get back out there. It's been a while for me, ya know?"
Feeling sick to her stomach at the thought of Elliot dating someone, Olivia decided she needed to remove herself from the situation and the conversation, she just wasn't sure how since she brought the subject up.
"Wow, that's great El. I'm happy for you," she managed to say.
"Gee, Liv your enthusiasm is overwhelming me right now," Elliot said sarcastically.
Olivia knew she should have said she was happy for Elliot with a little more conviction in her voice, but she couldn't manage it. The thought of Elliot dating other women did something to her, something she wasn't very proud of. She realized she was jealous. It was a simple concept, yet the most complex thing she'd ever experienced. She was jealous of the fact that her fake husband was dating other women. She thought she was nuts and She figured Elliot would have no doubt about that if he ever found out.
"I'm sorry, El, really, I am happy for you. Is there anyone special?" she asked, dying to know and at the same time scared to death to hear the answer.
"Nah, a few casual dates that's all," said Elliot.
Olivia sighed and immediately she felt guilty for her relief. Elliot deserved to be happy. In fact, she didn't know of anyone who deserved it more so than him.
"Hey, tomorrow is Saturday, why don't we do something? You look like you need to get out of here for a while," Elliot said, interrupting her thoughts
"Sounds, great, except we aren't allowed to leave the neighborhood remember?"
"Yeah, well there's gotta be something to do around here," Elliot said. "And what is this shit about not being able to leave the neighborhood? I feel like we're in some bad horror flick or something."
"I know, right? I guess since everyone in the neighborhood is buying their children they all just only feel safe socializing with each other. It is pretty damn creepy."
"Well no creepy stuff tomorrow. I don't have to work, so we'll just walk around the neighborhood or something, see if we can have a good time and pump our neighbors for some info while we're at it. Sound good?" Elliot asked.
"Yeah, sounds good," she replied.
They stood there looking at each other awkwardly then. Neither was sure why. They'd been living together for two months now, but something was different this time. Elliot's phone began to ring, startling them both out of their thoughts.
"Frank Williams," Elliot answered.
"Yeah, okay, I got it. We'll see you around eight. Thanks," he said as he hung up.
"Who was it?" Olivia asked.
"That was Seth, we're getting our new baby tonight at eight," Elliot explained.
"Wow, okay so what do we do?" Olivia asked nervously.
"Well, the baby's room is all set, so I guess he just drops the baby off to us and our three month "trial period" begins." Elliot said.
"Wow," Olivia said anxiously. "Well, you're right about the room and we have diapers and baby formula so I guess we have what we nee for the moment right?"
"Liv, relax. It's fine. It's a baby, we can do this. I've had five of them. Why are you so nervous?"
Pacing the room, Olivia said, "I don't know, El…I mean….we're…we're this baby's family at least for the time being. We're responsible for him."
"I know, Liv. But, you'll be great, you're great with kids. It'll be fine, I promise" Elliot said placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes.
"I hope so," Olivia responded with a whisper, before closing her eyes.
When she opened her eyes, Elliot was still staring into her eyes, his hands still on her shoulders. They both hesitatingly moved their faces towards each other. Elliot then backed away, looking to Olivia for some sort of sign that continuing forward was what she wanted. When he found it, he moved closer again, their lips grazing each other's. Without warning, the doorbell rang and startled Olivia. She stepped back from Elliot and immediately brought her hand to her mouth.
"Liv, shit I'm so sorry….I thought…"
Elliot was interrupted again by the doorbell ringing again.
"Hang on!" he yelled.
"El, it's gotta be Seth with the baby, we need to answer it. We can talk about this later, but don't be sorry. Nothing happened. It's fine." she said lying through her teeth.
Elliot shook his head and ran his hands down his face, trying to regain some semblance of sanity after almost kissing his partner.
Olivia opened the door and greeted their neighbor.
"Seth, how are you? Come in please," Olivia said.
"Rachel, Frank," he nodded. "It's great to see you," Seth said.
"And who is this little cutie pie," Olivia asked as she went to take the baby from Seth's arms.
"This is Jake. He's three months old, and he's your new son," Seth said to them.
"Hi Jake," Olivia said in a sing song tone tone.
Elliot couldn't help but smile at the sight of Olivia with Jake. She looked like a natural. He always knew Olivia wanted a child and that she would make a great mother, but watching her bond so naturally with this child so quickly blew him away.
Seth reached in his pocket and pulled out some papers. He explained that they were Jake's immunization records, along with his birth certificate naming them, Frank and Rachel Williams, his parents. The birth certificate was totally legit and there should be no problems. He said they would meet the main guy in about three months and give him their payment of $50,000 then. They were also told, as they were when they moved in, that a condition of getting the child meant living in this neighborhood only, and only socializing with the neighbors. He warned that they would be watched even more closely now that they received their child.
"You're expected to attend a party that my wife and I are throwing tomorrow night. Be there at eight. Most of the neighborhood will be there as well , with their kids. It will be a good chance for you to meet anyone you haven't met yet." Seth explained.
Walking Seth to the door, Elliot shook his hand and thanked him, assuring him that he and Rachel would love to come to the party tomorrow night. Once Seth had departed, Elliot closed the door behind him and turned around to see Olivia standing there with Jake. His heart was full again at the sight.
"Hey, you wanna hold him?" Olivia asked Elliot.
"Sure," Elliot exclaimed.
Handing Jake to Elliot, Olivia was overcome by a feeling of family. She wasn't used to this feeling and it scared her. All of this scared her. She'd almost kissed Elliot, they had a new baby sort of and they were playing virtual house and yet, despite the nerves, she couldn't help but smile at the way Elliot immediately took to Jake. She'd always known Elliot was a natural with kids, but there was something different about witnessing it first hand at this point.
"So what'd ya think? Should we get him to bed?" Olivia asked.
"Yeah, come on," Elliot said as he began walking upstairs.
They made their way to the nursery they had decorated for the baby. Elliot went to put Jake down in the crib but Olivia stopped him. She took Jake from Elliot's arms and held him, kissing his cheeks and telling him good night before laying him gently in the crib.
After a moment longer, they quietly began to walk out of the room, but they both stopped at the doorway. turning back to look at the baby boy who in a matter of about thirty minutes was able to capture both their hearts without warning.
"He'll be fine, Liv come on let's get some sleep. I have no doubt he'll be up in a few hours," Elliot said leading Olivia out of the doorway.
Since the baby has arrived, Elliot and Olivia would now be forced to share a bedroom since they weren't sure how closely they would be monitored.
They awkwardly got ready for bed, avoiding eye contact with each other. Neither knew what to say, there was one bed, they almost kissed before, the whole situation felt extremely uncomfortable.
Olivia got into bed first and pulled the covers over herself, she looked over at Elliot who was just standing there.
"El, get in. It's fine. We've been partners for tweleve years I think we can share a bed," Olivia said.
"You think so? Even after…ummm….even after what happened….er almost happened before?" Elliot asked.
"We were just caught up in the moment, El. It was nothing, seriously, it's fine. Let's just forget it okay?" Olivia said completely lying to herself and Elliot once more, as she wanted that almost kiss more than anything.
"What if I don't want to forget it?" Elliot mumbled to himself.
A/N: Life with a new baby proves to be more difficult than Elliot or Olivia had originally thought. Will they ever get to talk about that "almost" kiss?
Drop me a review…here or on twitter Qgirl25 Thanks!