Warnings: Shounen ai comedy (i.e. if you don't read yaoi, you can read this anyway)
Couples: Shigure+Ayame
Disclaimers: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the characters. Resemblances to any Fruits Basket characters are completely noncoincidental. But seriously, I do own the story written here. This was written out of love and respect for the series so please don't sue this poor grad student's tooshi
Notes: This is one of my "serious" fics that I wrote long before "Ring Around the Collar" and "Just Another Normal Day" and originally posted on some of the Furuba MLs. (beware personal rant: I decided to post it here because I don't want to only be known for writing bad parodies and my fingers are too cold to type anything new. Yes, it's snowing at the end of May.)

High School Obsessions

Introduction/Character Analysis of the Trio (not really necessary, but I wanted to write it anyway):

Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori are 17 year old seniors going to the same high school. Ayame has been elected student council president for the third year in a row, but has managed yet again to pawn off all his work on Hatori. Hatori was always the diligent and studious type; it's no wonder he managed to complete medical school at such a young age and become a doctor.

Ayame's personality in high school was much the way it is now, except he's a little more out there and definitely more flaming. Because of his age, he looks more like a girl too. It must run in the family, as his plight during his school years was much the same as Yuki's. Ayame was interesting in designing and making his own clothing even back then for his dreams to eventually run his own store.

Shigure's character during his high school years is much more carefree and outgoing than they are as an adult. His darker, mysterious side is virtually nonexistent, and being the dog he is and a teenager to boot, he's horny as hell all the time. Needless to say, he and Ayame flirt mercilessly with each other in front of Hatori.

The real story:

It was a day like any other and Hatori and Ayame sat alone in the student council office. While Ayame tended to avoid being in the closet-sized room as much as possible, he spent a good few minutes a week there giving Hatori the latest tasks he, as student council president, was assigned to do. Hatori, on the other hand, practically lived in the student council office. Although he was only the secretary, he often spent hours holed up alone in the little room with stacks of papers to sort through, thanks to having Ayame's work to do in addition to his own.

That day, Ayame had agreed to meet Shigure in the council room so they could go cheerleader watching together after Ayame was done delegating his workload. "Ah! Gure-san, you're here! Perfect timing," Ayame exclaimed to the newly arrived Shigure.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. I got distracted by the women's locker room on the way. Are you ready to go?"

"Of course, of course. It's not like I have any work to do. Right, Ha-chan?" he joked as he prodded Hatori's shoulder with his elbow, giving a knowing wink.

Hatori put down the papers he was working on and sat back in his chair. "Seriously, are girls the only thing you guys think about?"

"Why of course not! We think about sex too, ya know," Ayame rebutted.

"Although, I must admit high school girls in sailor fukus definitely consume most of my thoughts," Shigure admitted, going off into lala land with thoughts of sailor fuku clad cheerleaders dancing merrily in his teenage head.

"Wah? You never think about me, Shi-chan? I'm so hurt," Ayame pouted, nestling up against Shigure with big puppy dog eyes.

Shigure patted Ayame's head and smiled at him. "Now, now, I have nothing against you, dear Ayame. It's just that you're not wearing a sailor fuku so you're at a disadvantage and can't compete."

Ayame's face suddenly changed from pathetically pouty to scarily ecstatic in the matter of a second. "It just so happens I've finished my latest sewing project, Gure-san! It was actually going to be a Valentine's Day present for you."

"Hnn?" Shigure stroked his chin with one eyebrow raised as Ayame began to twirl about the room and sifted through his bag.

"Tada! A sailor fuku custom designed to fit men!" Ayame had a grin and proud air about him that was positively chilling considering the circumstances. Shigure looked at the fuku with lusty appreciation, while Hatori simply shook his head and sighed in resignation. "What do you think Gure-san? Can I compete now?"

"Oh, most definitely. Hmm, perhaps some pigtails would help. Oh yeah…" Shigure trailed off, the lust and flirtation in his voice completely unmistakable. Suddenly there was the sound of a snap followed by a twang, as if a tight string was finally stretched to the point of breaking. The room seemed to freeze at the sound, and both Shigure and Ayame looked down at Hatori in shock, noticing that he was about to pop a blood vessel in his forehead. They had never seen him like that before. He rose to stand over the table and smacked his hands down on it with his arms outstretched to support himself. He looked like he was going to explode.

"God! Must you two do this everyday? I swear, you flirt with each other as if it were a show just to piss me off! If you're going to be such horn dogs all the time and flirt so much, why don't you just DO it with each other already?" Hatori, having finally let it out, felt much better and collapsed back into the chair with an audible exhale.

The room was completely silent once again. After a minute, Ayame and Shigure couldn't suppress their amusement anymore and burst out laughing. "Ha-san, you really need to relax. It's all in good fun. All-in-fun! We wouldn't try to upset you on purpose would we?" Shigure directed the final question to Ayame, a false sweet smile of sincerity plastered on his face.

"Oh, no, no, no, my dear brother," Ayame replied in heavily accented English while waving his hands in front of himself. "We would never do *that*."

"But, Ha-san does have a point. Besides, I would really love to see you in that sailor fuku, Ayame," Shigure flirted, though Hatori miraculously managed to remain nonplused.

"Well, I don't think anyone will be using the adjacent copy room for a while. I'll get dressed in there and be out right away for your viewing pleasure," Ayame said as he clutched the fuku to his chest.

"You two do as you wish. I will not be affected by such stupid behavior any longer." That said, Hatori groaned and at least attempted to get back to work.

Ayame twirled out of the room and into the attached vacant copy room to change. After some shuffling, a few grunts, a banging sound, and a cry a pain, Ayame cracked open the door and called to Shigure in a sweet singing tone "oh Gure-chan, I'm ready."

Hatori glanced up at Shigure, who simply shrugged at him, holding his hand to his chin and said, "a man has to do, what a man has to do," as he went to join Ayame in the copy room. What awaited him there was a beautiful, pigtailed …

Hatori knew it was wrong. He shouldn't bother himself with such foolishness, but the supreme quiet of the other room pulled at his curiosity. He couldn't help but edge his seat closer to the door to listen. It was shortly after that the noises started.

"Ugn, oh, YES! Ayame, you're positively irresistible in that. I don't think I can hold out much longer."

"Shi-chaaaan…, there, yes, put it there! Now, I need it now!"

A few moans, grunts, and other exclamations later, the room was completely silent once more. Hatori was still shocked to the point that he remained frozen to his chair, his entire body blush red. One of his classmates, a cute brunet girl with long hair tied back in a barrette walked by the room and spotted him inside.

"Oh Sohma-san. Here for another long day of council duties?" She was about to say something more when she trailed off, realizing his flushed state. "So-Sohma-san? Are you ok? Should I get the nurse?"

"Wuh? Oh, no. I'm fine. It's just a little.. uh.. warm in here."

"Ohara-san, c'mon. Everyone's waiting for you," another student called from the hall.

"Ah, yeah! Coming! I'll see you later Sohma-san," she blushed and ran out the door to catch up with her friends. The disappointment was clear in her face. Hatori could tell she was probably interested in him, but given the current situation, he was glad she had to leave in such a hurry.

"That was close," he thought. "You two better get out of there before someone else comes by, you know," he calmly hollered at the copy room door. Some shuffling later, the door opened and two slightly mussed men with sated grins on their faces walked out. "It looks like you two had fun. Get eaten by a copy machine or something?" Hatori commented with no lack of sarcasm. At this point, the boy was more in shock than anything and could think of nothing better to say.

"Ma, Ha-san, you're no fun. Well, it looks like there's still time to catch the end of cheerleading practice if we hurry. Let's go, Ayame," Shigure said as he and Ayame made a harried escape and ran for the practice field. Once they were clear of Hatori, they both stopped in their tracks, unable to contain themselves any longer and broke out in laughter, needing to lean against the walls for support.

"Di-Did you see his face? Oh, that was precious. What a wonderful Valentines Day present Ayame."

"Why thank you, dear Gure-san. Though it is a shame that I messed up on the zipper and couldn't even try on the fuku for you."

"Yes, but I might not have been able to resist you then and we might have actually done something! You know how weak I am when it comes to sailor fukus." They both laughed again, put their arms over each other shoulders, and continued their treck to the girls cheerleader practice.

~*~The end~*~

Please post comments, good or bad (although flames are subject to public stoning and possibly tar and feathering) and constructive criticisms if this fic tantalizes your entertainment nerves in any way.