Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. This is , right? I'm merely a fan.

Ten Ways to Annoy Dobby the House Elf*

Ask him if that's why he wears so many hats and caps.

Tell him Kreacher is much nicer/kinder.

Tell him he isn't free.

Force him to wear two socks of one kind.

Ask him why he doesn't have hair.

Tell him that children's football shorts are ugly and he shouldn't wear them.

Explain to him that only an idiot would think a tea cozy is a hat.

Ask why his ears are so big.

Whenever he walks by, say 'Hehe, Dobby.'

Say that he's a stalker for following Harry around to 'help' him.

*Use of this list could result in Dobby chasing you with a Bludger, smashing a cake on your head, or Harry hexing you for being mean to his friend.

A/N: I owe most of this list to MysteriousMissSirius for giving me the ideas, and for suggesting Dobby. Thanks to all my reviewers!