A/N: Okay, I got this idea from one of my readers, XxFallenJedixX…She believed that Luke & Mara truly had tried to have a child before Ben, but were unable to do to certain circumstances. This is the result. Enjoy!
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Mara looked down at the strip on the pregnancy test and sighed. Another dud.
Her husband hovered outside the refresher door.
"I'm sorry, Luke."
She didn't hear him for a long while.
"Luke.." She stood up and the door slid open. Her husband met her, nose to nose.
"It's all right, sweetheart." He said softly and ran his hand through her hair.
She bit her lip, becoming frustrated. The test shook in her hand and she squeezed it tightly.
"Mara, it's..."
"How can you say that? How can you remain so calm when I know you want this?" Mara snapped.
He deserves to be happy. ...He deserves a child. He's told me...he wants one.
"We both want this, Mara." Luke stroked her hair as he gathered her to him. "But if it's not possible...I will accept it. I'll have to." He murmured.
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that. You are not to blame." He turned up her face, holding it between both of his hands. "Do you understand me? You are not at fault. You fail to remember, you're not the only one 'involved' in the process."
"If only we'd started earlier. If only we'd realized how we felt sooner."
She buried her face in his chest.
"Mara, what's past is past. We can't change that, so the only thing we can do is look to the future."
Mara could feel tears stinging her eyes and running down her face, soaking his tunic. His arms wound around her and held her comfortingly. His chin rested on top of her head. She listened to the dull thump of his heart. Felt it pulse against her cheek. She bit her trembling lip, unable to speak.
She listened to his breathing. It was decidedly calm. Just like her farmboy. She attempted to smile, but sorrow threatened her heart once again. How could he remain so strong? Why did he insist being this way? Surely, he was hurting.
Luke looked down upon his wife and kissed her forehead. He could feel her. She was trembling beneath him, but he was sure she wasn't aware it. Her Force presence shuddered and tingled, fluctuating with the sorrow she was feeling. As much as she mourned for him, the Jedi knew she mourned for herself just as much. She just wasn't aware of it.
He could sense deep within her heart that his wife indeed wanted a child. Maybe more than he had. Though there was no doubt, he had wanted one quite fervently. He only wished she would recognize that it was she that was hurting the most.
He attempted to comfort her again: "We tried, Mara." He turned her face up once more and planted a sweet kiss upon her lips. "It's the only thing we humans can do."
They broke apart and stared deeply into eachother's eyes.
"I thought Jedi didn't try." She replied snarkily. "They do. Well, we did and failed." There was bitterness in her voice.
Silence.
"Mara...when are you going to admit it?"
"Admit what..." Mara suddenly sounded exhausted.
"That this is what you want too. That you're hurting too...more."
She hid her face, turning it away from him.
"Please, sweetheart. Please don't hide the way you feel. Share it with me.."
"What good would it do?"
"What good does it do to keep it locked inside?" He countered softly. "If you do that, you'll only choke on your own feelings. Let it out, love."
He felt her tremble even more and watched her bite her lip. Luke knew this sort of ordeal was always hard for her. His wife was a strong woman who tried to put on a brave front. She had become more open over the years with her feelings, trusting herself-and him. However, now when it was best to let it out, she clammed up as before. He held her knowing it was the most he could do for her. He whispered words of love into her ear as he stroked her back.
Finally, his wife began to heave great sobs. They wracked her body. She cried more openly, not caring this time to hide her sadness or tears.
"Oh, Luke…I-I I want.." Her voice trembled as she tried to find the words.
"Yes, sweetheart."
"I want a baby so much."
"I know."
He could register her body stiffen slightly in surprise. She looked up at him, staring into her husband's face. Mara gauged him skeptically. "You knew?" She asked.
"Of course." He sighed. "Darling, as much as you try to hide it, you're still an open book."
She could feel him about to make some grand speech about the 'will of the Force'.
Mara cut his train of thought short. "I can't accept it." She riled, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. "I can't accept that the Force would be so kriffing cruel." Her body trembled once more, and she could feel a low mournful cry beginning to rise up inside her.
"Let it out…" He said softly.
At these words, her last bit of resolve faded and she broke down, wailing into his chest.
Luke held her tight, letting her pine for a child that perhaps would never be.
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A/N: Oh geez. That was depressing….I'm gonna cry now. Excuse me *gets up to leave* Oh, *comes back* If you liked this story, don't forget to review. Now…*starts to leaves again* I need a tissue.