Heyyy. I have thirty thousand excuses, and therefore, via Dumbledore logic, I have none. Please forgive me for this wait. I genuine love writing this silly little story so much, and I always look forward to every early morning awoken to add a few lines to Chapter Raven, and it's paid off: Chapter Raven is now up at pigeonattack-dot-com.
I made a big push this week to haul this out. Why? Because yesterday was the third anniversary of my first posted story on fanfiction. I look back and giggle my head off, but the truth is that as a lil' barely-teen, I put my heart and soul and passionnnnn[fruit] into everything I wrote. Everything. And seeing people like my stories? That was— and is— and always will be, through all the turbo-powered pushes of academics and general growing up into my responsibilities— the best thing ever.
Chapter XI
.
Yin-Yang Yay
.
It was a weakly-disguised fact that everyone but Wing and Shelby (gods know why) had been awaiting this.
Really awaiting this.
Awaiting this like a classic baddy swirls around in a sleek black wheely chair and says, with that most terrible of evil grins, "I've been awaiting you."
Or "expecting".
Whatever.
"But wait!" cried Shelby. "There's something that needs to be addressed! From Mosgem:
To: Wing
I really didn't want to ask you a question. Could you tell Kuno to tell Moonbeam to tell Pidge to yell at Fly so she can get around to making Dear Alpha's?
Thanks,
Mos."
Wing opened his mouth to reply, but pidge waved him down. "Don't bother, Mos and Fly have already started a collab on that thread, which is very full of hijinks and madness and therefore not safe to read in science class."
Fly blinked. "You read during in science class? I thought you were smarter than that."
"Apparently not."
Kuno cleared her throat. "And now that that distraction's taken care of and Shelby has no more excuses to delay—"
"But wait!" cried Shelby. "I… I need to use the restroom. And you can't start without me."
"Can't we?" Penny begged. "My legs are falling asleep."
"Mine, too," Shelby said happily. "We should all take a walk to stretch our legs."
"It's really amusing to me how much more worked up you are about this whole thing than the actual subject of the questions," Moonbeam remarked.
"That's because I am the de facto subject of most of these questions!" Shelby flipped over in her beanbag and glared at her reflection in the wall mirror.
"Do you still need to pee?" Otto asked. "Because that position must be horribly uncomfortable for your bladder."
"ARGHHHHH."
"She gives up," Laura announced.
"Very good," Franz praised. "I was knowing she would eventually be seeing the light. I shall be going first. From QuickSilverFox:
To Wing
I have two questions for you:
What do you think of all the pairings people have for you but I have to admit WingxLeon is a new one :P
And the final question: Marry me?
Thanks"
"I am going to channel my inner Rock and stoically not say a thing," Shelby intoned.
Otto delicately mopped up the last of the milky milk he'd snorted down his front at the mention of his S&E guru. "Your inner Rock Lee? Baaad idea."
"ONE MORE NARUTO REFERENCE AND I SWEAR, OTTO…"
Wing seemed to be attempting to mentally recover. "Me… with a cat?"
"Hey, it worked for Amu Hinamori," Penny noted.
"I think it is very safe to say I shall be keeping my limits within my species, thank you."
"So, exact same set of 46 chromosomes?" asked Tom.
Wing paused. "I do not like where you are going with this."
"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Shelby demanded of Tom.
"I should ask the same of you, Shelby."
"I am not well enough aware of all the other…pairings… people include me in…"
"Would you like to be aware of them?" Charlotte offered helpfully, scrolling through a spreadsheet open on her tablet. "You're pretty much shipped with everyone you've ever spent more than two minutes with, as well as more OCs than should physically fit in HIVE…"
Wing was looking a little sick.
Kuno plucked a barf bag out of the air and shoved it against his face.
"And no, I deeply apologize, but I will not marry you," Wing said muffledly into the bag.
"Next," said Nigel, who apparently liked the relative innocuity of the next question. "From Kukipye:
Ohhhhh hi Wing. Didn't see you there. As usual. But I see you now, so...
(I sorta expected the 'Lao' answer... shoulda totally added a "people who are around your age" part. However then all your answer would be is "No.")
1) In how many ways can you compare your mother to Shelby? And tell us what they are...!
2) What type of wedding would you want? (Hopefully not the walk in and register then walk out type. Besides, I don't think Shelby will entirely go along with such a simple one...)
Bye! (Maybe there'll be an epilogue party...)"
"Epilogue party, eh?" pidge stroked her chin. "Might be some potential in that idea…"
"I don't know whether I think this mother question is sweet or creepy," Shelby muttered. "But what I do know is that any wedding of mine, regardless of the groom, is going to be BIG and BOLD and BRIGHT and a freaking BONANZA."
"With bananas," said Otto.
Shelby narrowed her eyes. "Is that supposed to…"
"No, bananas and bonanzas just kind of go together in my head," Otto explained. "But that's true, the connection between bananas and—"
"MY LITTLE SISTER IS PRESENT," pidge bellowed.
"Right," said Otto.
Wing coughed. "Shelby and my mother both have and had a great sense of justice and riteousness."
It took the rest of them a while to realize he'd just answered one of the questions. Shelby looked pleased. "Why, thank you."
"Other than that, I am afraid I do not remember very much. She was seldom around. In any marriage, I would wish for as quiet and friendly a wedding as the bride would see fit."
"That's a marriage material guy right there," Tom advised the general public. "Next, from Alpha Infinity:
OH MY FUDGING GOD SHELBY LIKES SHUGO CHARA! I LOVE SHUGO CHARA! *faints on floor*"
*Struggles to get back up to ipod* Anyway, you guys are lucky to get the good asian. The one at my school is really annoying, though he has super sexy hair.
The other day my sister was like "Do you like Otto?" And was like ew no. Then she asked the same thing about wing and i said no. So now she thinks that I'm infected with the Non-fangirl fever. Now my question, hmmm I've practically forgotten it but:
Would you send your kid with Shelby to H.I.V.E?
For some reason nobody has asked that so I thought it was unique. My sister Alpha Five came up with that one, and her friend Alpha Three came up with one but that best remains unknown.
Ciao"
"And now I don't know whether I want to high-five you for your good taste or punch you for your ridiculous notions," Shelby told the air.
"By 'the good Asian', you mean me, right?" pidge asked blithely.
Crickets beatboxed.
"I have not yet decided whether or not I would wish my ostensible lifestyle upon a child of mine," Wing said, ever to the point. Ish.
"You did not address the 'with Shelby'!" Franz cried.
Wing sputtered. But not really. Because he was Wing and all. "How am I supposed to address—"
"Hold up!" Penny called out.
The session was paused as a portion of the present company pitched in to help unearth an unwilling blondie from the bottom of a fortress of beanbags.
"I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY HERE, THANKS!"
"Grow up," said Otto, yanking her out. "Next, from— you guys come up with the most creative names, really— WingFanchuLover:
Dearest wingy wing,
Do you just so happen to have a identical twin brother who's single and into brunettes?
Give him my number...
Lots of lurve,
Me"
"Yes, yes he does," Fly blurted, holding up a picture of…
Neji Hyuuga.
Crickets rapped.
"Close enough," Fly muttered, stowing the picture on the desk. "Quick question from Alpha Infinity for pidge:
Alpha Infinity 2/18/13 . chapter 10
Hiiii!
Before you end the story, can you PLEASE do majority questions? You know, questions not for one individual, but all the H.I.V.E students. Pretty please?
Thats all I had to say
Alpha Infinity"
pidge scratched her head. "Maybe if there's enough interest…"
"Interest!" Penny said.
"Interest!" Tom echoed.
Nigel looked away. "It would be nice to go back to our normal lives…"
"That settles it," pidge said, nodding to him. "We're all staying here for a big group round. Then, in response to popular opinion, I'll see what can be done about getting Max and Raven over here. Max's long-lost brother's fiancé's nephew is an old friend of mine…"
"Nero has a long-lost brother?" Laura asked in surprise.
"Well, according to the long-lost brother," said pidge. "He's a good guy. Next, from…"
A resounding beep echoed around the room.
"Censored?" Wing asked politely.
"Yes. Anyway, this person wants to say:
Dear Wing,
I gotta say you're cool. The books don't say that (although its pretty obvious) But seriously you are awesome. Now here are my questions.
1. Do you ever feel like Otto's pretending to be the boss? I know he's a genius and all but he has got to be pretty annoying sometimes.
2. Do you like Shelby? (I don't care if I'm in the romantic session or not)
Well bye! Hope my English is good. P.S. I wasn't thinking when I named myself"
"I don't pretend," Otto said immediately. "I am."
Shelby nodded. "Classic twerp psychology."
"What the heck is that supposed to—"
"Otto is a very capable leader," Wing replied calmly. "I feel safe knowing I can follow his instructions and not have to take any of the stress of leadership onto myself. That being said, he does get pretty annoying sometimes. As for question two…"
"Here we go." Shelby collapsed backwards and rolled off her beanbag.
"I like Shelby very much. We have been friends for a long time."
"…I knew you were going to BS something like that," Otto muttered.
Shelby rubbed her eyes.
Wing looked almost satisfied. But not really.
"Which brings us perfectly to our next question!" Fly leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, taking on the look of the classic Shrink. Like, John Watson's Shrink.
"From Aranel Azamai:
Dear Wing,
It has already been made pretty apparent that you like Shelby. So, why do you like her?
-Aranel"
Wing breathed out, leaned over, and rested his elbows on his knees. "I like Shelby because she is kind (mostly), empathetic (usually), (always) confident, but (typically) not a swaggering ego; she's always been there for me, always—"
"Oh my gods stop right now you're sounding like one of Mouse's sappy romantic clichés," pidge said breathlessly.
"Hey!" shouted Mouse.
Meanwhile, Shelby was looking at Wing with a rather dazed expression. Her eyes were almost shining.
Almost.
"What's with all the qualifiers?" she demanded.
Wing shrugged. "I had to take you off the pedestal and represent you as the human being you are."
"Oh," said Shelby, in a very small voice. "Well. The next set of questions comes from JustMeMyselfandI."
At the nonplussed expressions, she explained, "That's the asker's name.
Hi Wing!
Even though I would like to, I don't have all my questions as a romantic/fangirl theme, so you can thank me later.
1) How tall are you? I know you're tall, but HOW tall?
2) Unicorns or Narwhals? Take your time, I know this is a hard question.
3) Out of everyone NOT from HIVE around you, who do you like best?
4) If you could rate Shelby's awesomeness on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the best, what would she be? And WHY haven't you made your move on her yet!? Jeez. She's isn't getting any younger over there.
5) Oh! If you were not taken to hive, what would you do when you "grew up?" (Tokyo U?)
*sigh*
well, MM&I is out!"
"For a moment there, I thought you said M&M," pidge remarked. "Yum."
"Sounds really good right now," Fly agreed.
"Around six feet." Wing was going ahead and answering. "And… unicorns? I'm afraid I don't know very much about narwhales… Why would anyone ever…"
"It's a meme/trope/internet-thing that I first came across two years ago," pidge explained. "I didn't know it was still around."
"Out of everyone not from HIVE… well, I thought they all were HIVE students."
"We are," said Moonbeam. "Just not the same way you are. Let's rephrase the question to: 'out of the people you met today for the first time'."
Wing nodded. "I must say, without offense to anybody else, Mistletoe strikes me as the most reasonable."
All other non-normal-HIVE-students went Cold and Distance.
Wing looked uncomfortable. "This is simply based upon my biases, which include the fact that she has contributed the least to the ongoing festivities."
"Well, then," Mistletoe said happily, surfacing briefly from her pile of pillow-snack-game-debris, "I shall continue not-contributing."
"I don't think people like Shelby are supposed to be limited to a 1-10 scale," Wing continued. "But she would be a 10."
Shelby blinked, then went slightly pink, then looked away. "I'd say something like, 'Don't be ridiculous' if I didn't already know I'm a 20."
"And her biological clock's a-ticking," Otto added.
"I've got plenty of years in me, thanks," Shelby spat back. Then she seemed to reconsider. "Not that…" She looked distinctly uncomfortable now. "Not that that means people should drag out the courtship…pre-courtship…dancing around the bush… whatever…"
Wing put his head in his hands. "The reason I have not 'made any moves'," he said slowly, sounding as if he was trying very hard to maintain his composure, "is that at first I was scared. I could not lose one of my closest friends, the person who means the most to me in the entire world—"
"Hey, I thought that was supposed to be me!" Otto protested, then gave a little screech as Kuno and Fly both jumped up, grabbed one of his ankles each, and dragged him into the bathroom. Moonbeam deftly turned the key and tossed it to pidge, who tucked it under her beanbag.
"I hate it when people ruin the mood," Fly growled vehemently. "Otto's getting off easy."
Wing cleared his throat, Stoic Statuary Face back in play. "And now that I have decided upon my course of action, I would prefer to enact on it when there aren't a roomful of junior super villains and various decently-concealed cameras and wire taps scrutinizing my every move."
"So what is this course of action?" Franz asked excitedly.
Breathing hard (whether from irritation, frustration, or Emotional Overdrive it was hard to tell), Shelby picked up a beanbag and hurled it at Franz's head.
She missed.
Nigel ducked.
It smashed a random ceramic pot in the corner of the room.
"You're paying for that," pidge intoned.
Franz gulped. "Okay. I am getting the message. I will be silent now."
"In response to the last question," Wing said strainedly. "I am sure I would have gone to university and gotten a respectable business position. Or perhaps joined the Japanese NPA— the National—"
"Police Agency." pidge nodded. "You'd have interesting colleagues there."
"…Wing as a police officer… working alongside Matsu and Aizawa…" Penny sighed, leaning back in her beanbag. "What a wonderful world…"
"I'll read next," Laura offered. Apparently, the awkward-tension-anticipation-confusion-elation-really-messed-up silence was starting to make her fidgety. "From Mistletoe:
Hiya!
Ying yang was beautiful (really you should add a comments section then I can spam you on 3 different websites :D) erm...
yay so wingleby craze chapter coming up (so excited )
ahhh -sigh- I have my popcorn and blue candy at the ready...
OOOOOOOH can I ask dear Wing some questions?
oh gods he's probably super hot (hehe hi Shelby...) not as hot as fanon Draco... *ahem*
so... This should be pretty easy...
1) Matt Smith or David Tennant? (please, please, please tell me you've watched Dr. Who...)
2) If you had to break up with Shelby (just let's say it'll happen...), how would you tell her?
3) What are you going to do on your first date with Shelby? (sorry Shelby dear, but the bathroom is definitely calling to you... *cough cough*)
Hi Shelby! No worries, I'm far too much in love with Benedict Cumberbatch to chase Wing (he's all yours ;D)
AHHHHHHH! SOOOO EXCITED FOR THE STAR TREK MOVIE AND THE HOBBIT (SMAUG AND BILBO)!
*fangirl squealing* ah...
Well this became a rant rather quickly... Three last words
House. Of. Hades.
Mistletoe"
"Fanon Draco?" Penny asked interestedly.
"Still think Mistletoe's the most reasonable?" Mouse called out to Wing.
Mistletoe whistled, hidden from view.
Wing shifted uncomfortably. (This whole ordeal seemed to be one big Discomfort for him, the poor dear.) "As I said, I do not watch television…"
"Matt Smith!" Shelby bellowed, at the same time Penny shrieked, "David Tennant!" and pidge shouted, "Benedict Cumberbach!"
"Um…" Moonbeam did some quick research. "I don't believe Benedict Cumberbach has ever…"
"Well, he should."
"This is ridiculous," Wing muttered, looking at question #2. "Within two minutes of being forced to declare undying love the Shelby, I am being told we are going to break up?"
"Nothing's actually happened yet, so this is all hy-po-thetical," Laura explained patiently.
"I would probably leave her a card with a bouquet of flowers, but honestly, why would anyone…" He trailed off, two inches from Perilously Thin Ice. "As for my first date…"
"What the heck does that mean, 'the bathroom is calling to you'?" Shelby demanded. "In the first place, I don't see Wing dragging me to any clubs where I might find use for a toilet, and in the second place, I come from a proud line of American mavericks who can party hard and hold their alcohol, thank you very much."
"So Shelby says, 'clubbing'," Franz decided. "What are you thinking for a first date, Wing?"
"I said nothing about actually going clubbing," Shelby pointed out. "I just said it in the way that—"
"I believe a nice musical would be a pleasant first date for anybody."
"Like Cabaret, maybe," said Tom. "That's a nice, respectable musical."
"Yes," Shelby said sarcastically. "And Cats is about chihuahuas."
"We should all go see Billy Elliot sometime," Otto said randomly.
"Ooh! Billy Elliot!" pidge lit up like a glow stick.
"As for the rest of your message," Wing said apologetically to Mistletoe, "I'm not quite sure what to make of it."
"Eh," Mistletoe said. "Don't worry about it."
"Next," said Nigel. "From FreakyMe24:
To: All
From: Me
I have to say, I wish I got off my lazy bum and asked questions earlier. (darn. I missed the Ottra section.) But, just in time for the Winglby section! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Sumimasen. Sorry. Fangirling alert.
To: Fanchu-senpai (since you're older than I am)...wait change that to Trinity-san. (TeeHee! Didja get that?)
From: Me
Wing, when I picture how you look, sometimes I come up wit Yuu Kanda from D. Gray Man. Is that weird? It is, I know. Seriously, why did I? He's like 18. And more mean. So, I have questions. Very long ones. Mostly about hair. Weird, right? : (Gopher Face! (from Soul Eater!))
Q1- Why do you keep your hair long (not that it isn't cool or anything, just wondering)
Q2- Since everyone in the room knows that you like that certain blonde (who I have to say, is pretty awesome!), I won't ask you that question. It's obvious. What would happen if Shelby had a boyfriend that WAS NOT you? (Would you sulk for days? Try to break them up?)
Q3- What if, when you and Shelby were dating, she changed her hairstyle? Would you take that as nothing, since she is american (don't kill me!)? OR, would you interpret it as a break up, as most boys in Japan do?
Is it weird to like the word ""hemoglobin"? Whatever...
Spreading the Love (Or possibly ruining it)
Freak"
"It's refreshing to be addressed properly," Wing said finally. "Thank you for that… er… Freak-san."
"Wing keeps his hair long because it's a memento of his twin brother, Neji Hyuga," Shelby explained.
She was probably hoping everyone would go off topic talking about Naruto and subsequently forget-
"Three guesses who this 'certain blond' is," Otto sang. "I'll give you a hint: it ain't Mihael Keehl."
"I would hope not," muttered Tom.
"Yeah!" Penny agreed. "Mello belongs with—"
"I keep my hair long," Wing said loudly, "because that is the way I am used to it."
"Makes sense," said Franz. "But not really."
"If Shelby had a boyfriend who was not me—"
Several people helpfully filled in at once.
"HIVE would blow up," said Franz.
"He'd be respectful," Nigel murmured, "knowing Wing."
Nobody heeded Nigel, of course.
"He'd cry in the shower. I've witnessed such things."
"Say what, Otto?! You've witnessed Wing crying in the shower?"
"Lots of times."
"In the shower?"
"Sure, Penny."
"You've witnessed Wing in the—"
"Well, when you say it like that…"
"I would be respectful," Wing said very, very loudly. "And happy for them."
"Called it," Nigel said softly.
"If Shelby changed her hairstyle… Well, that would be nothing unusual…"
"I know, right?" Shelby chirped, flipping her parting line to the other side of her head.
"And I do not think liking any word in particularly is weird."
"I like numbers," Otto said brightly. "My favorite is 0110. Next, from Guest:
HI HIVE PEEPS!
Hi! I have a question for Otto. Do you think you are hotter than...say...Leonardo DiCaprio? Freddie Stroma? How about Alex Pettyfer? But, you can not top Wing. Seriously dude. No chance at all.
OMG. WINGLBY CHAPTER. Wing. And Shelby. (BTW, don't worry Shelby, you'll be together eventually...oh...and I think you should...step out and breathe some fresh air...) Wing, have you had your first kiss yet (Is it really that important?)? If not, would you give your lip-virginity to the awesome blondie over there? *wiggles eyebrows* How would you want your first kiss with Shelby to be like?
I wonder if there could be a movie about you funny fellows.
Byeeee!
Just a "Guest""
Otto paused. "This is supposed to be Wing's session only, but lucky for you, I'm in a good mood, so I'll tell you that I don't justthink I'm hotter than them all. I know I am."
"I'm sure you could even top Wing if you really tried," said Tom.
"Pfft. I don't know what these fangirls think, but I've been topping him since the dawn of remembered time."
"How did you put up with this guy for so long?" Laura whispered to Penny.
"Well, how did you put up with this guy and fall in love with him?"
Laura scowled. "Don't—"
"Oh, please. You're digging yourself into a hole, you've been digging yourself into a hole, just give up now and turn back while you still can, okay?"
Laura frowned at her feet.
"Lip-virginity?" Wing asked warily. "Is that what people are calling it now?"
"That sounds dirty!" Tom breathed.
"I have not felt the need to kiss anybody in a romantic manner," Wing announced. "When I am ready for my first kiss, I would prefer it be when and where there aren't a roomful of junior super villains and various decently-concealed cameras and wire taps scrutinizing my every move."
"That sounds familiar," Otto noted.
"Next, from a different Guest," said Tom.
"Shel, I gotta say, that ALL the Geico Gecko commercials are awesome. Although, MetLife has some good ones with the Peanuts Gallery. Charles M. Shultz is supreme comic master!
So wing, who's the girl? You said you wanted a girl friend eventually, so who? hmm? Is she blonde, sarcastic, and similar to Maximum Ride? (Don't need to answer. We know it's true.) And I'll hazard a guess to say she is the same girl who you want to marry, right? When you have kids, how many, what names, and how would they look?"
Wings voice went strained once more. "I believe we've already covered the subject of who…"
"And I am NOTHING like Maximum Ride!" Shelby exclaimed. "For one, she's has brown hair and wings."
pidge couged. "You, like Max, prefer the tall, dark type. You, like Max, have a Wing."
"And I think the question is less 'how many times you'll make babies" than 'how many times you'll almost but not quite make ba—'"
"MY LITTLE SISTER IS PRESENT," pidge boomed.
"Sorry," Otto said not-sorry-ly.
"No more than two children," Wing said slowly, subtly glancing at Shelby for confirmation.
"Whoa, watch him subtly glancing at Shelby for confirmation!" Otto squealed.
Wing sucked in a breath.
"Tell me, Otto, can you sing?" Shelby asked brightly.
Otto tilted his head. "Sing? Why? I thought we've already…"
Shelby smiled like the sun itself. "One more of those 'married couple' comments out of your mouth and you will no longer be able to father your own line."
Otto looked like his mouth had gone dry. He scooted to the far side of the Beanbag Circle and stayed there.
"I don't get what Shelby just said about singing," said Mouse.
"Good," said pidge.
"I do not know how to answer your other questions, Guest," Wing said apologetically. "I suppose the names would be something quiet, simple, elegant…"
"Yeah, sounds good," Shelby agreed, throwing Otto a threatening look when he opened his mouth.
"I do not know how they would look…"
"Assuming Wing has no blond/blue-eyed ancestors, the offspring should have dark hair and dark eyes," Nigel dared mention.
Wing tilted his head. "Oh?"
"Mendelian genetics," Nigel muttered. "Works with pea plants…"
"So no dark-eyed blondies and blue-eyed ravens?" Penny looked disappointed. "Fandom interpretations of genetics are better than real genetics, dammit."
"The next one looks familiar," said Kuno. "From Wasp:
Wing,
If you had to ship the eight H.I.V.E. students in that room into four couples what would they be?
Wasp"
"Haven't we done this?" Nigel muttered blearily.
Wing fidgeted. It was very un-Wing-like. "Must I?"
pidge sighed. "The fandom dictates. Thou must. And I think Wasp refers to the people you knew before today."
Wing fell back on his beanbag and covered his eyes. "Penny and Nigel."
Nigel shrugged. Could've been worse.
Penny reached over and ruffled his hair. "Not to be creepy, but we'd be so cute!~"
"Laura and Otto."
Both sighed. That was a bit of a given. Didn't make it any less awkward. Otto was considering caving into the little cupid-voice at his shoulder just to get rid of this awkwardness already…
…along with achieving o-other things…
"Shelby and… m-me…"
Shelby blinked.
"It is the only sensible option!" Wing rushed to say.
"Eh," said Tom, not looking very convinced. Then he blinked. "So that leaves me and Franz!~"
They bro-fisted very manly-like.
"See, that's the problem with uneven gender distributions," Fly remarked. "Almost makes you wish Hissy-Voice was still here. Oh, look, the next one's mine!"
"Oooh, me me me!" Penny snatched up her tablet.
Q1) How strongly do you believe in gender-roles? You know, the whole "boys should ask girls out and make the first move" thing?
If you do believe in them, WING KISS SHELBY."
Wing looked extremely taken aback. Finally, he managed, "I do not think we should subscribe to gender stereotypes because that just sets the cause back fifty years."
"If you don't, SHELBY HE'S A TOTAL GRADE A NIMROD PLEASE I BEG YOU KISS HIM."
Shelby was too busy staring at Wing. "I detect a reference somewhere in what you just said, and it's driving me crazy not putting my finger on it."
Penny coughed. "Perhaps we should move on.
Q2) We have Otting and we have Raving. Personally, which would you prefer? Or at least, hate less? Because, the way thing are going, Wing, I think they both have a better chance of happening that Wingelby. Do something, man!
*twiddles thumbs in the background, waiting for Wing to jump Shelby...or the other way round* I'm gonna be here for a while, right?"
Wing took one long, deep breath. He took two long, deep breaths. Finally, he stood composedly, walked over to Shelby, knelt down in front of her, and took the back of her neck in one hand.
Then he pressed their mouths together.
The static in Shelby's head was palpable.
"I am sorry it had to be under such circumstances," Wing murmured, drawing back.
"Don't apologize," Shelby trilled, and promptly fell over.
"And that," Penny declared. "Is one way to ship a stoic. Put 'em in all the right situations, and the effect is goose egg, but question the stoic's interests, and Boom! Chemistry, serving right up!"
"Is that all the questions? Fantastic! I'm out of here!" Otto made it about halfway to the door before Kuno got up and kicked him back into his seat. "Oof!"
pidge stretched. "I dunno. Maybe we should drag this out a bit. You're all already here… I think it might be interesting to bring Nero and Raven into the party while we're at it."
"Oh!" Otto's scowl flipped right upside down. "So, do they get to answer questions and stuff?"
"Yeah." pidge looked like she was warming up to the idea. "Maybe we'll get some of the teachers, too. Who do we want?"
"Pike!" Laura exclaimed. "Professor Pike!"
"Ms. Leon!" Shelby shrieked. "Oh my gods, get Ms. Leon!"
"I wonder if she travels in a kitty kennel," Tom mused.
"Ms. Gonzalez!" Nigel suggested. Nobody heard but Moonbeam, who nodded to him and made a little note.
"COLONEL FRANCISCO," bellowed Franz.
"Are we forgetting anyone important?" asked pidge. "Yes? No? Alright. I'll radio the forces." She lifted a mouthpiece to her… mouth. Ahaha.
Four seconds later, a swarm of gray blocked out the sun.
She looked around pleasedly. "So, who gets to be the first victim?"
The roar shook the rafters. "RAVEN!"
Nodding, pidge added, "I should mention. The questions will probably be all about you guys, you know."
The jubilant expressions froze like glaciers.
To be continued…
This chapter, was first posted at at pigeonattack-dot-com. Chapter Raven is already complete and posted at pigeonattack-dot-com. Please submit your mail here for our next fab interviewee, Professor Pike, then shimmy off to pigeonattack-dot-com for Chapter Raven!
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