A/N: Who wants old Blair back? The Blair who was madly, passionately in love with Chuck and didn't suddenly fall out of love with him in a few short weeks after her love for him nearly ruined her wedding? That Blair? Anyone? Anyone? I thought so. This is post 5x17. Inspired by Isabelle's "The Butterfly Effect". Check it out if you haven't. It's amazing.

*I own nothing, especially what might be related to The Butterfly Effect movie (which I haven't seen), Isabelle's fic or any other time-traveling movies or fanfiction.

…...

Ch.1—Kindred Spirits

The mahogany finish on the floor and walls surrounded him just as they had three months ago when he'd last been here. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd come in for a brief visit shortly following the accident. His therapist's advice hadn't exactly encouraged him to return.

Just let her go.

Impossible, he thought. Not when she wanted him. Not when she loved every part of him and he was the one she never wanted to leave. Not when they had been about to start a family together. Not when she'd been on her way to disengage herself from her real-live prince all in the name of their love.

Now that wasn't the case. He didn't know how it happened, not really, and it boggled his mind that she could have such a drastic change of heart in little more than a few weeks.

Watching her with Dan had become unbearable.

"Why did you come in today, Chuck?"

Slowly, Chuck lifted his head to look at his therapist sitting across from him. He couldn't be snarky here. At least, he tried to avoid succumbing to his cruel fate at all costs. He'd changed so much since returning from his summer abroad. To lose his temper easily would speak volumes of how weak he'd become.

"I want to hurt myself," he said, the sincerest honesty stretching across his face.

The therapist's brows furrowed. He picked up the notebook that lay beside him on the chair and clicked his pen with his thumb.

"When did this start?"

Chuck sighed and uncrossed his legs, stretching them out.

"Recently. Within the last week."

The therapist looked up, concerned and curious in his stare. Chuck wondered if it had taken much practice to relay more than one emotion on his face during the sessions he had with his patients.

"What happened in the last week?" he asked, momentarily lifting the pen off the paper.

Chuck swallowed. "My ex-girlfriend…"

"Blair?" he inquired.

"Yes." He took a deep breath. "I…found out she finally slept with Dan."

The therapist's brows furrowed again. "Last time we spoke she was set to marry the prince. Louis?"

Chuck sighed, the events from the past weeks washing over him. It pained him to think about.

"A lot has happened since then."

He pursed his lips. "Why don't you tell me about it?"

Chuck turned his head to look at various objects around the room. His heart clenched and he could feel it breaking all over again. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fight the pain that welled up in him whenever he thought about Blair's words.

I love you too. I always will. But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you.

It was so different, as he'd told Lily, from any time Blair had left him before. This time it wasn't because he'd done something unforgivable or she needed time to 'find herself'. It wasn't even because she wanted to be with someone else for the sake of not being with him.

It was because she wasn't in love with him anymore.

That hurt more than anything else in the world ever could. Since the conception of their romance, since their first I love you's, no matter what he'd done, she'd never stopped loving him. Loving him and being in love with him had been one in the same.

He didn't know when it had happened, or how. What tortured him the most was the thought that somehow he could've prevented it. From what he could tell, Dan had lured Blair to thinking twice about being more than friends with him with that video Gossip Girl blast and that Valentine's Day kiss. Still, no matter how much he blamed Dan for what had happened, he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it was inevitable. Maybe it had been ordained that he would lose Blair to the most unlikely person, the one who had hated her for years and who she had hated. Maybe this was karma biting him in the ass for what he had done to her.

But dammit, he was Chuck Bass. Why couldn't he fix this? Wasn't there something, anything, he could have done to prevent Blair Waldorf, the only ever love of his life from falling into the arms of a hypocrite from Brooklyn?

"Do you want her to be happy?" his therapist asked, and Chuck realized he'd been quiet for a long time.

"Yes," he said, "more than anything." The therapist's solid stare told him he needed to say more. The heat consuming his being pressed him to continue. "I'm just having a hard time dealing with seeing Blair and Dan together."

"Do you think it's genuine?" his therapist asked.

Chuck sighed. "Yes. I know it is." He paused again, pursing his lips. "She told me she's not in love with me anymore."

The therapist watched him curiously.

"I don't know how to deal with that," Chuck said, looking up at the therapist and wiping his sweaty hands off on his pants. "We've had other obstacles, but never that," he said very quietly, studying the floor as if it was some fascinating puzzle.

"Have you talked to her about how you're feeling?"

Chuck laughed morosely.

"I want her to be happy," he said. "Telling her how I'm feeling would only be a burden to her. And if Serena, her best friend, who's in love with her ex, Dan, is okay with it, who am I to intervene?"

"Have you talked to Blair at all since she told you she didn't love you anymore?"

"No," he said. "It's been too hard." He knew he sounded ashamed, but he couldn't help it. He was. And he knew exactly what his therapist would say next.

"That might be a good first step."

Irritated, Chuck shook his head.

"No, no, I can't…"

"Why can't you?" he asked.

"Because," Chuck snapped, looking back up at his therapist. "It's too hard."

He sighed. "Chuck…if you don't take any risks to face this pain you have head on, you not only won't get over this, but Blair will slip out of your life without you even realizing it."

Chuck pursed his lips tightly together, his teeth ground quietly against each other. His jaw clenched. He was so restless. He wanted to scream.

"I know you don't want to lose her."

He hated how god-damned calm this guy was.

He looked away, finally muttering, "Of course I don't."

"Well then, why don't you try talking to her," he suggested again, this time more forcefully.

"What if she avoids me?" he finally asked.

"Pursue her," the therapist said.

Chuck scoffed lightly. As if that was so easy.

"How exactly will this help me from wanting to hurt myself?" he asked, the new direction making him feel a little bit more in control. He was disappointed to see that it had little effect on his therapist. He only leaned back in his chair, contemplating the question – or maybe just drawing out the silence to drive him crazy.

"Why do you want to hurt yourself, Chuck?"

Chuck looked down. He'd walked right into that trap.

"I want her to notice me. I want her to realize she's still in love with me…"

"Because in the past she's come to your rescue and come to that conclusion," he finished for him.

Chuck looked back up and nodded.

The therapist straightened in his seat and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs.

"I think you have to face that maybe Blair isn't the one you're supposed to be with."

He stiffened.

"I'm not saying she isn't, but right now she isn't interested and you have to respect that."

From inside his mouth, Chuck bit his lip hard. Tension so thick froze his entire body.

"If what you're seeking though is her attention…" He moved his head around until Chuck met his gaze. "Talking to her is a sure-fire way to get it."

He knew he was right, but he couldn't get the images out of his head. Dan and Blair kissing, both before they were a couple and in recent weeks would be forever emblazoned in his brain. He couldn't take it. It was driving him crazy. He didn't want to walk in on one of their 'moments' just to talk to Blair. And what would he say? 'I'm hurt by what you said and that you're with Humphrey now. Break up with him.' Oh yeah, that would go over real smoothly.

"Well, you think about it. What time shall we meet next week?"

Chuck looked up, confused as to the abrupt end, but he adapted quickly.

"Uh…same time."

The therapist quickly wrote the time and date on one of his business cards and handed it to Chuck, who stared at it for the longest time before sticking it in his wallet.

"Thank-you, Dr. Conner," he said, still lost in thought.

"Please consider what I said," the therapist said. Chuck nodded, his mind still elsewhere, still adjusting somewhat. Dr. Conner smiled sympathetically. "I'll see you next Tuesday."

Chuck blew out a large, heavy breath as he exited the lavish room and walked to the lobby.

….

R U AT HOME?

-B

Serena sighed, turning her phone over on her bed so she couldn't see the screen. She'd respond in five minutes after she had time to compose herself. The common text aggravated her. Her reply varied between yes and no as often as it was delivered to her, which was a lot.

She'd been naïve at the start, thinking her best friend just wanted to spend time with her. That was becoming the case less and less to hardly at all. Blair wanted to know if the house was empty so she could bring Dan over, and since the start of last week, so she could take him to bed with her.

While the news that their first time hadn't exactly been pleasurable had contented Serena for the time being, as usually happens, Dan and Blair practiced and got better. Now they were on sexual overdrive. She hadn't seen Blair this way since she'd turned Chuck Bass into a boyfriend worthy of her. The two were…well, they'd looked like Dan and Blair did now. Blissfully in love.

She wondered how Chuck was doing.

NO

-S

This time she'd ignore their wild cries by putting on her music and focusing on the chaos that had been delivered to her two weeks before on a laptop computer. Despite the fact that every time she saw Dan and Blair, together or separately, her heart broke all over again, she felt guilty whenever she was the cause of keeping them apart. She wanted her best friend to be happy. She didn't want to have to intervene like Chuck had done. She was sure he was hurting more than she was. He had taken enormous effort to getting Blair back before she finally chose Dan over him, and before that it had been Louis.

She felt bad for her stepbrother. It made her feel even guiltier.

She lifted the laptop off of her lap and set it down on the bed as she went to lock the two doors leading both to the hallway and the bathroom. She didn't know how long it'd be until they arrived, but she wanted to be prepared. She grabbed her iPod and earphones and headed back to the bed.

In one of the few conversations she'd had with Blair over the last three weeks, her best friend had mentioned that Georgina was Gossip Girl, or at least the latest version of her. She'd been shocked to say the least, especially when it became obvious Blair was telling her the truth. The next day a laptop had arrived for her, containing all of Gossip Girl's secrets. She would be the new Gossip Girl, if she wanted to be.

After months of trying to destroy Gossip Girl, it suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea. She would be the one in control of what was sent out and what wasn't. If something was destructive to one of her friends, she had the option of not blasting that information to all of Gossip Girl's subscribers.

Her excitement quickly faded when she realized a great deal of the posts were pictures of Dan and Blair being spotted together all over Manhattan, though she knew they spent most of their time in Brooklyn. They were being unbelievably careful to not be openly affectionate in front of those they knew were hurting the most over their union: she and Chuck. In the process however, they'd managed to unintentionally cut them off from their lives.

It wasn't entirely Dan and Blair's fault. She and Chuck had been avoiding them like the plague.

Something needed to be done, and soon, or there would either be a heated confrontation or they would just fade away from each other. It was becoming more doubtful by the day that she actually had a roommate.

With Nate occupied with Lola almost as often as Blair was with Dan, she felt so entirely alone. Even her own mother and Rufus were occupied dealing with the chaos that was Ivy Dickens. She didn't even want to think about that situation. It exhausted her almost as much as Dan and Blair did.

The sound of the elevator doors opening downstairs brought Serena back to present time from her haze of troubling thoughts. She was hiding away in her room to keep Blair from being guilty of always staying away or being with Dan to begin with. The bad part though, was that if her best friend and her ex started going at it just two doors away she'd probably throw up.

The sound of shoes moving across the foyer and up the stairs alerted her to him imperative it was to turn up the volume on her iPod. At first it seemed as if her plan might be working, but much to her chagrin, the fumbling around in Blair's room became louder somehow was still heard over even the maximum volume on her most heart-pounding sound.

She groaned and pushed the ear phones further in to block out the noise. It wasn't working, and she felt too sick to stomach her way over to Blair's bathroom door and demand they quiet down. That would unleash a whole bunch of guilty stares and it would make her feel even sicker.

When she heard Blair's first cry of passion though, she abandoned her resolve. Grabbing a light jacket and her purse, she headed for the door and quietly slipped downstairs.

Just as she reached the elevator, the doors opened and she gawked, staring at none other than Chuck Bass in front of her.

"Serena," he said, sounding just as thunderstruck.

"Chuck."

He shook his head. "I'm just here to see Blair." He tried to move past her but she stopped him with her hand on his chest.

"Don't go up there," she said without looking at him.

At first he thought she was being overprotective of his feelings and prepared a teasing jest to return to her, but then he heard Blair's muffled cry of passion and a shudder so fierce wracked throughout his entire body.

That used to be him. He used to be the one people wrinkled their noses at because he was screwing Blair in her bedroom. Now it was Humphrey. What the hell?

"Let's get out of here," he heard Serena say, grabbing his arm and dragging him back into the elevator with her. She pressed the button to close the elevator at least five times before it finally did.

"Did she know you were there?" he asked finally, glancing at her with something borderlining anger. She was startled by it. She'd never seen him look so angrily protective of her.

"No," she said, grabbing hold of his hand suddenly to calm him. She released it when he looked at her questioning how. She closed her eyes briefly. "Sometimes I tell her I'm not home," she said. "Blair feels so guilty about bringing Dan around in front of me, so she always asks if I'm home before she brings more." She avoided his gaze until she felt his fingers curling around hers. He walked out of the elevator with her when the doors opened on the first floor and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"So, I could really go for a movie," she announced once they'd made it outside. Chuck stopped and turned to look at her, actually smiling a little.

"I was going to offer a drink, but…it's been awhile since I last saw a movie." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "What did you have in mind?"

She searched her mind quickly for something that could possibly appease both of them. A movie advertisement she'd briefly seen on her laptop flashed before her mind. It was an oldie, but a classic as far as she was concerned. It was also unique, as well as entertaining. Already she was planning her most convincing watch-this-movie-with-me speech if Chuck decided her selection was beneath his standards.

"Do you mind going back in time?" she asked coyly.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Back to the Future?" she offered, holding her breath that he wouldn't decline. She needed this right now. She really did. They both did.

"With Michael J. Fox?" he asked, incredulous.

She nodded. "I could really use an escape from…everything…right now. What better way than with a movie that literally lets people travel through time?" She held up her hands as if she was advertising some merchandise.

He looked amused. "Well, I'm not overly fond of movies from the '80s, but…it's certainly more appealing than what I was supposed to be doing just now."

Her smile faded. She squeezed his arm gently.

"Alright." He nodded. "Let's go watch Mikey in action." He gestured towards the limo. "I think Nate's out anyways."

She laughed. "Do you have popcorn?"

He laughed. "Only the best."

Arthur waited for the two twenty-year olds to slide into the limo before closing the door behind them and turning around the side to the empty driver's seat.

…

A/N: Don't think for a second this is going to be a CS rom-com. It's anything but. CB ftw! Review please! =D