Naruto paused to analyze the situation. The enemy force consisted of several genin, a few chunin, a jonin, and much larger contingent of irate civilians. Down the road to the right, half of the civilians stood panting, to the left the rest of the them were glaring daggers. The ninja had taken the rooftops so there would be no escape that way. Where they had cornered him there were no alleys to cut through, and all the doors were closed and -with the boy's luck- locked. Advancing slowly, the civilians whittled down any hopes that the blond had of escape. The civilians, at least, moved slowly because of the chase that the boy had lead them on. The ninja because they were well aware of his particular tenacity for unexpected maneuvers.

"You really did it this time boy," One of the civilians growled, brandishing a fist. From above one of the Konoha shinobi let fly a kunai. The iron instrument embedded itself in the dusty street inches from Naruto's foot. There was little room to maneuver now, he couldn't run into the crowds without risking being caught by one of the bludgeoning weapons they had. There was no way to climb to the roofs even if that had been a viable plan. "Any last requests?" The man with the club asked.

"Oh come on!" The boy yelled exasperate, "What did I do?"

"You stole from me!" "You cheated us!" "You're a plague upon us!" "You killed the 4th!" "You're the reason that my children died!" The answers came fast and angry like they had been bottled up for far too long, fermenting and growing richer with hatred. The boy, seven years old, felt tears burn his eyes as the words burned his ears. He didn't know why they hated him, he was hungry and no one would give him anything to eat. He had seen other kids snatch a piece of food from the vendors, he had seen grown men hide things in their pockets as they walked out of stores. None of those people had ever been chased around town; no one had ever threatened them with clubs and kunai. He couldn't understand how they could hate him this much. He could feel their hate, it came from their eyes and burned like hot coals. Each and every one of their eyes flared like little suns of hatred. No one ever looked at him - for long at least- when the old man came to visit him, but the moment he left, Naruto was alone again, facing the masks of hatred that stared at him.

Then, without warning or signal, one of the men who didn't wear the metal forehead protectors charged. It was like they had all been waiting for somebody else to make the first move. But that one man caused a crack in the dam, and the wall that held them back shattered. Everyone rushed forward. They grew bigger, fueled by hate, bigger and bigger until they were all giants that could crush him under their feet. He looked around, hoping, praying that one of the ninja with masks would rush down and save him. He couldn't see them. The boy realized he had used them up, all of his chances were gone now. He was going to die.

"Seal of the Underworld: Living statues." A cold calm voice spoke through the hatred.

Everybody stopped. Frozen, like they were statues. The boy turned to see where the voice that had stopped the men had come from. Standing in a doorway stood his savior, one hand shoved outward, a character burned onto his palm. Naruto felt his legs give out and he collapsed to the ground. The man seemed to take no notice of the boy as he looked around at the people who had been chasing him. The tall old man's face hardened, his lips turned down to hard points of disgust. "ANBU," He said like he was calling a disobedient dog. Suddenly, the men in cloaks and masks appeared in front of him. "I thought your duty was to protect this child," he pointed a finger at the shivering seven year old boy, "Not to watch him die by the hands of his fellow humans. I can assure you that the Hokage will hear of this."

"We apologize, Hon-san, we were going to intervene just as you arrived," One of the masked men muttered, turning away from the elder ninja.

"I'm sure you were." Hon sounded thoroughly unconvinced. The ANBU disappeared and the old man turned to Naruto. "Now," he said kindly, finally taking notice of the boy before him, "can you tell me why these men were chasing you?" His voice was sweet, and true. Not like those people who only said nice things to him when the old man was around. Those people would speak sweetly but Naruto could hear underneath the nice voice that they were straining to be so. Those people didn't mean what they said at all. They were just saying those thing because the old man was there. This man didn't sound like those people. His voice was dark and old, but very kind, and he meant what he said. He saw so different than the people he had frozen. The statues were still looking at him with hate filled eyes, yes some were afraid now, but most were still very hateful.

"I-it was only an a-apple." Naruto couldn't keep the tears back anymore. That was all he could say before he broke down into sobs. He had never cried before, not for the old man, not for the nice people who gave him ramen, and most certainly not for those people who burned him with their eyes. He had stopped crying long ago. But here he was again, sobbing into the knees of some stranger he didn't know, but who had just saved him from certain death. Naruto felt a worn hand rest itself on him. The man was saying something kind to him, he couldn't hear exactly what the man was saying over his own sobs, but he could tell it was kind and that he meant it.

Hon straightened up and turned to look at the crowd to his left, then the people to his right, and finally to the group of ninjas frozen above his head. "An apple. You chased this boy and intended to kill him for an apple?"

"But he's got that-" one woman had somehow broken free from whatever spell the man had put over her.

She was starting to spit out a word that began with d- when Hon stopped her. "If you value your life you would be wise not to finish that sentence. You know the rules. And regardless of what this boy is or what curse may have been placed upon him, I can assure you: right now you are all more demons than this boy." The man bent down and picked the sobbing boy from his ground. "Come on Naruto," he whispered in the boy's ear, "let's go inside for a little bit." As he walked back through the door Hon noticed that several more men and women were breaking free from his seal. "Hmm." He mused to himself, "I'll need to look at the binding methods again, they shouldn't be breaking free for another thirty seconds."

The entry way into the building was calm, that was the best way the boy could describe it. Through teary eyes, Naruto could see that the entry way led to a much larger room around the corner. He could see shelves but he couldn't tell much more. The kind old man set him down and carefully worked off the boy's shoes. He set the dirty, ragged, too-small pair neatly to the side. Slipping on two very small white slippers, the man then turned to his own shoe. Naruto was running out of tears by this time and his sobs had mellowed into sighs and hiccups. Once the man was finished with his shoes - his own pair of very clean, but very old shoes, sat next to Naruto's - he turned and picked him up again. Naruto looked over the man's shoulders at the two pairs of shoes as he was carried into the bigger room. Looking at the old man's shoes next to his Naruto felt ashamed, sorry for the clean shoes because they had to sit next to his. He had found those shoes in the dumpster almost a year ago. Back then, they had been only a little stained with only a few holes and had been too big for the blond, but they had been warm, so he took them. Now they were less clothe than they were dirt. Dust had changed the once green fabric into a grubby tan. Those nice clean shoes that didn't deserve to sit next to his. They probably hated every second of it. They must be afraid that the dirt and stains from his shoes might seep over into them. Or maybe not, Naruto thought, the shoes belonged to this old man who had saved him and was being kind to him, maybe the old man's shoes were being kind to his dirty torn shoes.

The room that the old man brought Naruto into was big. He set Naruto down on a table and smiled. "There, there," He said his voice warm and sweet, "you are safe in here. I promise that no one is going to try to hurt you in here."

Naruto whipped his eyes, trying to dislodge the last of his hot tears. "Where - what is this place?" The blond hiccupped. The place really was like none other he had been to. It was a huge room with a couple tables and chairs but mostly there were shelves. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves stacked high with books and scrolls and stacks of paper. Everything seemed so organized. It was like Jiji's room, but more organized. The desk on the far end of the room only had one giant scroll on it, not like the mountains of papers that Jiji had. It was quiet and calm and peaceful. The walls seemed to be curious but nice too. Everything seemed to be smiling with the same smile that the old man had. They said 'it is safe here, stay as long as you want. Leave when you need to, we'll be right here when you need us again.'

The old man chuckled snapping Naruto's eyes back to him, "This is a library."

"Wha- what's a li-li-library?" Naruto asked. His chest felt funny when he talked, and something was getting caught in his throat. It felt weird to stop crying. But the old man didn't laugh at him when he couldn't get the words to come out smoothly. Instead he pulled out one of the chairs that was hiding under the table and sat down.

"A library," he started. He seemed happy to answer his question Naruto realized. Most people wouldn't talk to him and when they finally answered him (if he bugged them enough) they were always short and unhelpful answers. No one was ever happy to answer his question. Some people answered quickly enough, but they still sounded mean and hateful. Not this man, he answered Naruto happily. "A library is a place where we keep books and scrolls for people to read. There are thousands of volumes, of books, in this library about almost any subject imaginable. People come in all the time to read these books."

"But... why? Why do people like books. Books are bo-boring." Naruto managed to get most of the sentence through without his voice jumping. The man laughed, not a mean laugh, but it still mad Naruto angry to be laughed at.

"Well yes, I suppose when compared with some other things, reading could be considered boring. But I don't think it is. I mean books are like conversations, like talking with people. They have all sorts of things to tell you. You can hear a story, or they can teach how to do something new. There are so many things you can learn with books. If there are a thousand books those are a thousand different conversations you can have. Okay, so the books aren't great if you want to talk back to them, but if that's the case you can just write your own. If you have a question that one book won't answer you can always find another book. You can never hurt a books feelings if you don't want to listen to it. I mean most books are written by people who are not alive anymore. I mean look at this scroll," The old man picked up a scroll that had been lying on the table, he had probably been reading it before he saved the boy, "this book lets me talk with Namikaze Minato, our fourth Hokage, and he has been dead for seven years."

Naruto's eyes widened. "You can talk to dead people?"

"Not exactly, but dead people can talk to me. When I read what they wrote here then it is like they are talking to me. Teaching me things I didn't know before."

The hiccups were gone and the funny feeling in Naruto's chest was forgotten. Excitement and ideas were filling him up, making him lighter than air. He jumped off the table and looked up at the old man in awe. A man who could talk to dead people, and not just one or two but thousands, and he could freeze people like statues, and he was kind, and nice. To Naruto he glowed. This man, he decided, was the coolest, most awesome man ever in all the world. "Did you learn how to freeze people from books too?" Naruto asked excitedly. If he could find the book that could teach him how to do that, he would never have to worry about being chased ever again, maybe he could even get something more that an apple from that mean old lady's cart. The old man shook his head, "No." Naruto felt deflated. "But I did learn how to do that by books."

"Huh?" Naruto was confused. A book didn't teach to freeze people, but he learned how to freeze people by books. It didn't make any sense! He was talking in circles. He was making fun of him. Just when he thought he had found the greatest person ever, he turned out to be no better than everyone else.

"You looked confused. Let me explain, there was no one book that taught me the 'Living Statues' seal. But because I read enough books they taught me how to make it myself."

"Oh..." Naruto paused and thought about that. "Oh! So it's like if you don't have a recipe for ramen, but if you look at enough cupped ramen you can guess what goes into real ramen. Right?"

The man laughed, but this time Naruto didn't feel as bad. He could tell that the man wasn't trying to make fun of him, he had just said something that the man thought was funny. That was okay, it was nice to see the old man smile, he guessed. "An interesting analogy but fundamentally correct, I suppose." Seven year old Naruto didn't understand what the old man had said, and it must have shown on his face. The old man reached out and ruffled the boy's blond hair, "Yes Naruto, pretty much like that."

"Cool! So which books taught you how to do that stuff?"

"But, Naruto. I thought books were boring."

"Not when they teach you to do awesome stuff, like freeze people! You even froze the ninja! That kind of stuff isn't boring at all!"

"I see," The old man stood up and looked around the room. He took one step towards one shelf, then paused. He took another step toward a different shelf. He was about to take a third step to yet another shelf when he stopped. "Naruto," He asked, "how well do you actually know how to read?"

The question hit the boy hard. Truthfully the only things he knew how to read were the menu at the ramen stand and the instructions on cup ramen. If he was really honest that was only because he knew what they said already. He didn't actually read them, he just remembered what had been said before. There were a couple characters that he remembered from this or that, like stop, or go, cold, and hot. He really couldn't read. And if he couldn't read, the books were pointless he realized. He had never liked books because he could never read them, if they had pictures he could kind of guess what they were about, but most books didn't so he would just make up stories using the characters like little pictures. Some of the characters were really hard to do though, so most of the time even that wasn't fun. "Not at all." Naruto hung his head and answered.

"Ah, well then, how about we start there? Okay?"

Naruto nodded, ready to learn how to talk to the people in the books and scrolls.

0o0o0

Five years later

"Oi, brat! I know you're in here!" Haruno Sakura nearly kicked down the door to the building. The out of the way place was known to be her blond, orange clothed targets favorite haunts. Under normal circumstances Sakura did her level best to stay as far away from this place as possible. She had had her hair changed into enough colors, thank you very much. She could do without finding another bucket of hair dye dumped on her. The concoctions that the notorious prankster cooked up took weeks to wash out and she was pretty sure there were still a few bits of orange from the last time left in her pink hair. Honestly! Her hairdresser had asked who had done the dyes though, apparently they were pretty good, but that didn't stop her from beating the tar out of the whiskered boy the next time she saw him.

In Sakura's opinion the world would be a calmer, quieter, safer place if Naruto didn't exist. Even her parents wished that the boy would disappear sometimes. They had told her not to associate with the blond, but really, once she met the kid, she hadn't needed another warning. He was loud, obnoxious, disruptive, crude, always trying to get a date with her, and just a general nuisance. She didn't know what kind of deal the guy here had with the kid, but it had to have something to do with the fact that this was the only building in Konoha that hadn't been hit with one of the boy's elaborate pranks.

"Iruka-sensei wants me to bring you today's notes because you missed AGAIN! Seriously, how do you expect to ever graduate from the academy if you never show up." She marched up to the orange wearing blond and slammed down the papers that their teacher had asked her to bring. She had wanted to tell the man that she wanted nothing to do with the boy and had better things to do with her time (stalking Sasuke among them) than delivering notes to the annoying brat who, despite claims that he would become the next Hokage, did not seem to care about his class work whatsoever. "Your taijutsu sucks, your class scores are terrible, and you can't even pull off a clone! Geez! Why don't you just drop out all ready. There's no reason for you even to show up tomorrow at all you know! You'll never pass the test. I don't even see why Ir-"

Naruto put down the brush he had been using and turned to Sakura, "Shhhh! This," he hissed, "is a library. Can't you be quiet."

Frankly, Sakura was stunned. She had never seen the blond so serious before. True she had never visited this particular building before, so she didn't know if he was like this when he was here. Heck she hadn't even known this was a library. Yes, given she was a self professed book worm (when she wasn't a raving fan girl or beating the living daylights of her blond classmate) but she had spent most of her time at the big library near the Hokage Monument. She hadn't even know this library existed. Or that Naruto came here... or read books... or used a brush... Come to think of it why was the kid who turned in all of his test with doodle or rants about him becoming Hokage sitting at a table with a brush, ink, and several complex scrolls lined out in front of him? More importantly however, why was he shushing her? She was being told to be quiet by the loudest kid to ever enter the academy! It was an outrage! "Why you!"

Sakura was not a violent person. Much... Actually she was a very violent person, she just didn't like showing her violent side to the public. But seeing as there was apparently no one around, she felt like she could indulge a bit. If there was one thing Naruto was good for, it was stress relief. His head made this great sound when it hit the table. A good loud satisfying thunk. It almost made walking across town to find the brat worth it... almost. "Ouch, Sakura-chan that hurt!" When Naruto lifted his head from the desk, she could see that the ink he had been writing with hasn't dried yet so a copy of whatever it was he was working on what now printed across his face. "Good, and don't call me Sakura-chan!"

"But Sakura-chan~" Naruto was trying to look cute. It didn't work. In her honest, pink-haired opinion, it just looked kind of gross, albeit a bit comical with the characters running across his face. In the end all it earned the boy was another whack on the head.

"Ahh, are you one of Naruto-kun's friends?" A quiet voice jarred Sakura out of her musings about how best to keep the blond quiet. An elderly man walked out from behind the scroll shelves and approached. The man wore a Konoha protector around his neck, but as far as Sakura could tell the man hadn't been a ninja in years. He looked... old. Even compared to the Hokage he looked old. Underneath his arms the man was carrying several ancient looking scrolls. When he saw the blond that she had just been pummeling on the floor out cold, he paused for a second. "Is there something wrong?"

"Um, no. I'm just a classmate of Naruto's and our sensei asked me to bring him today's notes so that he didn't fall behind. I was also to remind him that tomorrow is the graduation exam so that he shows up."

The old man smiled and nodded, "I see. I'm sure Naruto-kun thanks you." Said boy waved half heartedly from the floor and grinned. The man set down the scrolls he had been carrying and inspected the work that Naruto had been doing. Slowly the boy pulled himself back up onto the chair. If anyone asked her what she saw then, no one would have believed her, but Naruto - the worst student in the class, Dead Last, unable to sit through a lecture, hyperactive moron - looked... She knew that expression, equal parts fear, anticipation, giddiness; exactly how she felt whenever she turned in a test to Iruka-sensei. As the man looked over the scroll Uzumaki Naruto looked scholarly.

"Naruto, your declarations are too large. It would take far too much chakra for this seal to store even a single kunai. Not to mention that the compression method that you're using, doesn't If you tried storing something smaller than a large sword you would end up with too much space in your array leaving to many sections blank. Not only are those chakra sinks, they could cause spontaneous storage failure. You wouldn't want to be walking through town when the whole seal bursts would you? You need a null-void terminator and smaller initial declarations. Remember you can always create additional re-declarations. See?" The man indicated a portion of one of the scrolls laid out before Naruto.

The blond nodded thoughtfully, "I was trying to streamline the store-start method to cut down on the chakra formation byproduct."

"Cut down the smoke, I see. It's a good idea, but for now try to focus on maximizing chakra efficiency. Okay."

"Okay."

Sakura couldn't believe it, or understand it, but mostly she couldn't believe it. He was listening to someone and taking their advice. The kid wouldn't listen to anyone at the academy. She had never, EVER seen the kid look so thoughtful, or take "you can't" so well. Ignoring the fact that he seemed to have understood what the man was talking about, he was working on seals! SEALS! They had barely covered basics of seals at the academy. Fuuinjutsu wasn't expected of ninja until they were chunin at least.

Maybe, just maybe... the idea felt wrong in Sakura's mind. All that Naruto ever would be, all that Naruto ever could be, was a loud mouth pranking idiot, who happened to make good smoke bombs and hair dyes. She had thought for a second that maybe the idiotic blond could have actually been smart! Every cell of her brain had screamed at that idea and brutally murdered it before it could even catch its second breath. She had to get out of here before any more of her sanity was drained by the obvious genjutsu she had been placed under. "Well, see ya' Naruto. Good luck tomorrow," -dead last, she couldn't stop from adding in her mind.

Naruto and Hon watched the pink haired girl leave. The boy turned back to his seal and let the girl go. Despite what other people may have believed he could, in fact, focus. He just, for the most part, chose not to. Really why would he, most everything they taught in the academy he had learned here in Hon-san's already. History was the first thing he had consumed, not exactly because he liked it, but because Hon-san said it would help. He had still been struggling to read when he had sat down to read "An Account of the Elemental Nations" the de facto text book of the academy, and by the end of it he could read pretty well. The library had become something akin to a home since that day when Hon-san had saved him. He felt better and safer here than anywhere else in the city. Except maybe at Ramen Ichiraku, but that was mostly because they had food, something that wasn't allowed in the library.

"Naruto," The old man began quietly, "is there anything you want to talk about." The boy shook his head. Really he didn't want to talk about anything other than his seal right now. He didn't want to think about anything else. He didn't want to, but he was. She was right; he was probably going to fail the exam tomorrow. Actually, probably wasn't going to cut it. Everything she said was right. His grades were terrible, his taijutsu sucked, and he really couldn't pull off a clone to save his life. Replacement, sometimes. Transformation, yes (but it hurt). Clone, no.

"No," he grumbled and picked up his brush again.

Hon nodded and watched the boy roll out a blank section of the scroll and started scrawling out declarations for a new seal. He frowned as the boy stiffly wrote the characters on the paper. "Hmm, I see." Hon went about picking up his scrolls and organizing them on the large scroll on the circulation desk. Calmly the librarian stored them away in the sealing array. All the while watching the blond boy. "Naruto, when do you think I graduated from the Academy?"

Naruto looked up from his work surprised. "I don't know, you're like some kind of genius so... seven?"

The man chuckled and sent a spark of chakra releasing a smaller scroll. "Much older than seven."

"Twelve?"

"Older still."

"Fifteen."

"Even older than fifteen."

"Sixteen."

"Nineteen, Naruto. Nineteen."

"Nineteen!" Naruto's eyes bulged, trying to imagine Hon-san when he was nineteen sitting in a class full of twelve-year-olds.

"Granted," the old man shrugged, and set the scroll he had retrieved in front of the boy "they did put me on the teaching staff after a while, but it took me seven years to pass that test. I'm pretty sure it is the same one they still use."

"But- Wha- I-"Naruto stammered, "But you're a genius at seals! That should have gotten you promoted immediately, right?" Naruto was having trouble seeing the old man, who in many ways was his idol, having so much trouble passing the same test he would probably fail. The old man laughed, and Naruto got a glimpse of just how old the man really was in his eyes. "I wasn't always this good with seals, my boy. I, like you, couldn't perform an adequate Clone technique, and they were more of a stickler on the whole "you must perform this jutsu" back then." Naruto giggled when Hon changed his voice to sound kind of like the old ninja's who came and watched the academy some days.

"Naruto, have you ever wondered why I work so hard at my seals?" Naruto shrugged. "This body of mine cannot control its own chakra. In place, I use these seals to mold my chakra for me. I've learned how to use ink and blood in place of chakra coils, in the process inventing a whole new branch of fuuinjutsu. There is another person in the village with a similar condition to mine, who has chosen to rely purely on taijutsu, alas even that door was not open for me. Many told me that I would never become a ninja, and recommended that I put aside my dreams and pursue other endeavors. But..." He trailed off for a bit, caught in the ages of time between past and present, "what I dreamed night and day about was life as a shinobi. Once, a particular person gifted me with a morsel of very good advice, and... I think I'll bestow onto you that same advice: do whatever you have to do to become what you want to be. Myself, it meant learning how to create a seal that would perform a clone. That, plus my grades, was enough for me to pass. For you, I don't know what the answer is." Hon added after a short pause, "Don't expect me to loan you my clone seal though. I can tell you that is not your answer."

Naruto sat and let everything that the man had said wash over him. He rarely talked about his past, mostly he talked about other people's history. Whenever the man mentioned something about his own life, Naruto knew that he was trying to get an important point across. Hon was about to leave the boy when he spoke up, "Hon-san, how old were you when you became a chunin?"

The man chuckled, "I was over 45 when they finally gave me my vest. but-" he shrugged nonchalantly, "I suppose that I can find some consolation in sweeping the tournament without moving an inch."

0o0o0

Iruka looked out over his class. Some were fidgeting in their seats, some were backing slowly away from the piece of white paper that was set in front of them. Some of the kids refused to even sit down. If the test before them was the scariest thing they faced in their life as ninja, the chunin thought, then they were lucky ninja indeed... or stuck as genin for the rest of their lives. There was five minutes until class was to begin. The last few students were trickling into the classroom, but amongst all the heads present, there was one spiky blond conspicuously absent.

The clock was chiming time when Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja walked into the room. Iruka felt a stab of pride and pain as the boy pulled back a chair in the back. Pride that the boy should stand up to face what would be many people's worst nightmare, and pain because the teacher could easily predict whose name would be on the short list of 'failures.' "Take your seats," Iruka announced, forcing the kids who had not done so to sit down in front of the intimidating sheets of white paper. Iruka spared a quick glance up to the blond on the top row. The boy was obviously nervous, but not trembling in fear or confidently blowing off the situation like the teacher had expected. Around the room there were as many different expressions as there were faces; bored, aloof, eager, and scared out of his or her mind. Iruka smiled at his students: eager Sakura, Choji shoving potato chips into his mouth, Sasuke staring out the window, Shikamaru yawning, Hinata blushing. This would be the last time they come to this room as students- well most of them.

"Please turn your test over and begin. If you do not know an answer, skip it and move on to the next one." And thus it began. No matter how many times this day came it still kind of tugged at the chords in the teacher's heart. These kids, for better or worse, were his. He almost felt like a parent, though in some cases teaching here might prove to be the best argument for celibacy yet. Despite all the time teaching youths here at the Academy there still proved to be children that pushed even his patience. He tried his best to relate to every student, be a friendly presence to turn to in rough times and a stern face when they needed to be set straight. Even so, there seemed to be one or two every year that he couldn't reach, no matter how hard he tried. His eyes flicked over two heads staring out the window, one black, one blond.

"Stop," Iruka announced when the clock flicked ten, "your time is up. Please turn over your paper and wait for one of us to pick it up." To groans and pencils clicking flat against the desks, he and Mizuki began to retrieve the final exam. Iruka had to tear the paper from Kiba who, even after he had announced the end of the test, still wouldn't give up his paper. Shikamaru yawned when his paper was added to the stack, but Ino seemed reluctant to let hers go.

"I didn't cheat, I swear!" A certain obnoxious voice burst out from the top of the room. Iruka turned to see his partner in cri- teaching holding Naruto's paper. "Naruto, I have seen your work. Nothing gives me any reason to expect this. Now if you just tell me from who, or what, you copied these answers from..."

"I didn't copy them from anywhere!"

"Naruto..."

"I didn't!" Mizuki turned away, obviously unconvinced. Slumping back into his chair Naruto glowered at the white haired man. Iruka turned back to his half of the room to pick up the remaining tests. A spit of worry crept into his mind, he had seen many students come and go, some had cheated their way through the exam, he was sure. But rarely did any of those kids make it past the jonin tests. Naruto's life was tenuous enough, the boy reminded Iruka of himself in many ways. He, for one, would have been broken if he had been sent back or dropped. It was worrisome that the notorious prankster would cheat, but it was disturbing that even he would try to cover it up with so obvious a lie. A ninja who tried to use such blatant untruths was bound to have a short carrier.

The next section of the test, the physical portion, went as expected. Iruka watched as each student sparred and threw, checking each for accuracy, confidence, and poise. There were few surprises and most everyone fell into the order predicted in last night's betting pool. Predictable and safe, unlike the written test. When Iruka got a look at the boy's paper, his assessment had been the same as his partner. The first clue had been the penmanship. In all his time teaching he had never seen Naruto write so cleanly. Usually it was an art requiring a great deal of time to decipher the boy's scrawl. Looking out on the yard, Iruka could see that Naruto was trying incredibly hard today. The kid hadn't even burst out ranting about all the things he would change as Hokage all day. It was astoundingly quiet. If Iruka had not known any better he would have guessed somebody had snuck into the academy disguised as the orange-wearing ninja-prospective. No matter how honestly the boy was trying, however, there was no way to excuse that kind of obvious cheating. They had been correct, yes, more correct than any other answer and had shown a great mastery of the information... but it obviously wasn't Naruto.

"Thank you, Naruto. Please wait with the others until everyone else finishes." The blond had done better than the teacher had expected. He had actually managed to hit the target seven times out of ten. A solid number, but when taken with his poor taijutsu and the disqualified test, his chances of passing were still minimal.

When at last the final portion of the test arrived, Iruka was ready for the day to end. Tests, especially ones that took a whole day, were as exhausting for the teacher as they were for the students. "Line up! In order to pass this last section of the exam you will be required to perform the clone technique. When Mizuki-sensei calls your name please make a clone of yourself, it should last at least ten seconds to be considered passable." There was whispering in the ranks as the technique was revealed. No doubt some already knew which technique they would be tested on, but to many it came as a surprise. Iruka looked back to the end of the line, apologetically. "Aburame, Shino."

"Yes." And suddenly there were two of the stoic children.

Iruka swelled with pride as one by one his students multiplied. Haruno Sakura had managed to produce five clones, outshining even the genius Sasuke. Each student in a puff of smoke multiplied themselves, waited ten seconds, and dispelled it again. Finally it came down to just the pair of blonds at the end of the row. "Uzumaki! Naruto" The boy frowned. For a second the whiskered face contorted itself into an alien pose. Not the confident grin nor the brash smile, but a frown of deep and honest concentration. "Clone Technique." Naruto grunted. Where other students had released puffs or wisps of smoke the boy's clone formation was masked behind a solid wall of oily smog. The chakra formation by-product hung in the air for a long time. When it faded no clone was present. One blond haired whiskered kid stood alone in the fog.

"Oh! For the..." Iruka flinched as he felt a surprisingly well developed wave of killing intent burst from the boy, and then abruptly all the energy seemed to drain out of him. The other ninja-prospective was still shivering as the blond walked out of the room.

"Naruto! Wait!" the teacher tried to stop the boy. The boy glanced back over his shoulder, and with one drained, iced eye looked at Iruka. The room thawed out when the boy left, his depression no longer forcing down on their shoulders.

"I'll go and talk to him." Mizuki volunteered putting down his clip board.

Iruka nodded. "Yamanaka Ino."

"Yes!" And there were two long haired blondes.

One orange clad boy sat upon the swing, thinking. He had been here many times before. It was one of the few places he could drop his mask. Here he could frown. Here he could cry. Here he could... The boy sighed thinking about the mask he had worn. He had lost it somewhere today. It had dropped off his face and he couldn't find it anywhere, and he didn't know where to look for it. He wore that smile in defiance to the glares. People tried to ignore him, gave him hate filled looks that would burn for just a second. He had yelled and smiled, trying to get their attention, surprise the hate out of their eyes. Be noticed, be accepted. When he had learned who and what ninja were, how they were respected, he had thought he had found a way to finally clean away those looks of hate.

If he could just be a ninja, he thought... Well, that probably was not going to happen- ever. He couldn't perform clones, couldn't transform regularly, couldn't replace himself with a log most of the time. He couldn't be a ninja, not yet, maybe not ever. Hon-san said he stuck around the Academy until he was nineteen, but seven more years of this, Naruto did not think he could take. Seven more years of lessons that he already knew, seven years of sparring against kids years younger than him, but still better, years of trying and failing that stupid clone technique... it would be hell. If it wasn't for that clone! If he tried hard enough he could switch with the stupid log. Even transforming was possible, it just hurt a lot (how the other kids could stand it, Naruto didn't know). Transforming had taken him forever to learn though, he had to read through so many scrolls, and it was so complicated! Why did they teach that at the beginning level anyway? Well if it was so easy for everybody else to learn then... maybe he would never be a ninja.

Unless... Mizuki had caught him in the hallway. He had said something about another secret test. If he could pass that test they would graduate him to genin no matter what. Even so, something that was "just up his alley," didn't sound very easy to Naruto. If he couldn't even perform a proper clone, why did the man think that he, Dead-Last, could learn any of those special techniques on that scroll. For that matter, why was something like a test for the Academy hidden deep within the Hokage's office? He had been in there lots of times, sure, but the old man had never let him go down there.

It was either that or spend the next seven years here or... The emotions and thoughts running through his head were looping over and over: failure, Hokage, special test, seven more years. Again and again that soon the thoughts had worn a groove in his mind. He was stuck in a rut that he couldn't get out of. "Do what you have to do, to become what you want to be." The words struck the blond shoving him out of the vicious cycle. Hon-san, the librarian who had saved him, who he looked up to everyday, who had suffered the same kind of setbacks that Naruto had, said those words to him. Hon didn't know what Naruto's answer was and the blond did not either. But... if his only options to be a ninja were seven years or the special test... Well, he had a feeling they would kick him out of school before he could graduate. So that only left one option.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was sitting at his desk planning out his attack. He would send his right wing out as a distraction drawing the opponent off to the side, weakening their forces. Then his left wing would flank them, turning the enemy to chaos. And while they were distracted he would make his move. A straight jab through the center, they wouldn't be able to catch him because they would have no idea which force was the true threat. This time it would work, this time he would escape this cursed paperwork, his secretaries would never catch him, not alive at least.

The "God" of Shinobi was just about to implement his awesome, perfect plan when the alarm went off. A horrible shrieking blaring siren screaming through the office. The man realized in a moment of insane clarity, the kind where he could see the mechanisms of daily life so clearly, the gears and wires of life so sharp against the stacks of paper on his desk, the choice before him. He could flee, there would never be another chance like this- a shadow clone or two and he could be living in a cabin far far away free from the burdens of paperwork forever, or he could walk down to the scroll chambers beneath the monument and discover what was going on. The old man, tired of a the excitement that had filled his life stood up and formed the simple hand seal.

One body flicker later he was standing deep in the catacombs below the mountain. He had come here many times before, so many times that the flicker took almost no effort. It was like walking a familiar path that his feet had trod long enough that the ruts in the dusty trail were the size of his shoes. Even if he were blind, senile, and left without a mind, when everything else faded away he would still be able to move himself from the office to these catacombs.

Because of his familiarity with the place Hiruzen could feel immediately that something was wrong, something wasn't where it was supposed to be. "Who's there?" The man called out into the darkness. The shelves of the room were arranged in such a way that even in pure darkness he could navigate the narrow gaps between the tomes. Others were not so lucky. The man heard from the far corner someone tripping and knocking out several of the priceless scrolls. "I know you are here. Show yourself!" The Hokage pushed a measure of his chakra through his hands into the air of the room. The energy caught in a series of seals and fire flickered to life the torches above.

"Gyaaaa! Light!" A loud obnoxious voice called out. Hiruzen walked around the shelves to the source of the outburst. Turning the last corner the man found Uzumaki Naruto on the floor rubbing what looked like ink out of his eyes. "Note to self: add disengaging structure to sensor loop. Light hurts."

"Naruto? What are you doing down here? and-" Hiruzen's eyes caught one the scroll in the blond's possession, "why do you have a scroll of forbidden techniques?"

The boy open his eyes and stared at the man. "Crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Umm, Umm" The boy looked around wildly, reminding the Hokage of his grandson when he was found stealing cookies from the cabinet. Naruto's face scrunched together in concentrating, "Transformation technique!" Raising his eyebrow the Hokage was still confused about the whole situation as the thick oily smoke covered the boy. He thought for a long time, but to his memory (and it was still very good, thank you very much) transformation techniques weren't supposed to create such smoke.

"Kaa!" As the smoke cleared the old man was given a part of the answer. Sitting before him no long was the blond boy instead there was... wow. The man took a moment to take in who sat before him. He hadn't seen that much skin since... he honestly couldn't remember the last time he had seen that much skin. It would have had to have been at least twelve years ago, because Kami help him if it had been anyone else's skin but his wife's, there would have been hell to pay. Hopefully there weren't any consequences in the afterlife for this. Sitting before him was a blond bombshell, completely naked. If the man had had time to look at the girl's face he might have noticed the whiskers, but... Well, face it. To men what are eyes when there is a body like that in front of them? Hiruzen finally felt his age catching up with him. The shock of seeing his successor's legacy transform into a wet dream proved to be too much for the man's tenuous age.

Naruto watched as the color of the man's face changed from normal to an astounding shade of red, and fell over, unconscious. The naked girl picked up the scroll he/she had dropped. "Hmm, I have got to remember this!" Naruto ran back the way he came, hoping to get out before the transformation cut out and he had to deal with the sore feeling of skin and bones repositioning themselves back into his twelve year old boy form. He did not want to fail this exam because he was caught having a spasm somewhere. Annoying, hated, and epileptic, a happy Naruto did not make.

Mizuki had heard the warning. Part of him wanted to smile, part of him wanted to fall back on the floor laughing his butt off. The kid had actually gone for it! That demon brat had actually taken the bait and gone for it! It was just too good. Not only would that filthy demon get banished, maybe even killed, but Iruka would get taken off his high horse too! Oh it was just too good.

Shelving his internal monologue, the man jumped to attention. He just had to play his part long enough for him to slip away... and not die of laughter. But it was just. So. Hard!

"Mizuki? Are you ok? You seem kind of twitchy."

"Yeah." Mizuki squeaked, trying desperately to keep the maniacal laughter behind his lips.

"Okay." Iruka turned forward again, desperately worried about his student. That morning he had seen a side to the boy he had never seen before. Yes, the teacher had guessed it was there, there had been moments when the mask had slipped. But today was like watching the boy crumble. Nothing would have made him believe that the boy would have gone as far as to betray his village. He was constantly talking about becoming Hokage, the leader of the village. What would cause the boy to give all that up?

Iruka looked around at the rooftops flying past. Where was he? the teacher wondered. The boy's favorite haunts, the library, the park, the ramen stand had all been checked out already. A team was searching the practice fields to the east of town and another squadron of ANBU was searching the north. The boy had been caught in the catacombs inside the Hokage Monument... wait.

One of the boy's more famous stunts, one that had managed to tick off almost the whole village, had involved painting the faces upon the Hokage Monument. Iruka shot off toward the yet-to-be-searched mountain, "Come on, Mizuki. I think I have an idea."

"Ahh, sure."

Naruto sat staring at the scroll. The first technique was another clone technique. Unfortunately it was the easiest move in there to learn. There were things in there that he didn't think possible. Really, a technique that created living fire? Really! He was all for explosions, but a living explosion? That was just ridiculous, potentially game changing yes. But plausible? Well the fire clone was more likely, and that one looked uber hard. So the only option that probably wouldn't get him killed, or blown up, or both was the Shadow Clone. So Shadow Clone it was.

Standing Naruto prepared for his first trial run of the technique. As it turned out the "clone" technique wasn't actually a "clone technique" but really a low level genjutsu. That explained why everything he had read in the library about clone techniques was worthless. In concept clones were fairly simple. All he needed to do was split his chakra and throw it out of his body as an image of himself. The great thing about chakra was that in large amounts it tended to organize itself in the form of its creator, which was why clone techniques were supposed to be some of the easiest out there. The real trick was trying to keep the chakra from dissipating. Most clone techniques that Naruto had read about used some sort of medium to hold the chakra - usually water or dirt. The shadow clone was different however because it didn't use a specific medium but rather a unique compression style that seemed to make the chakra tangle itself up. As long as the internal state of the shadow clone wasn't disturbed they could live on. Naruto hadn't read everything in the paper, but he felt he had a pretty good handle on it. And if there was anything important, they would put it right in the first paragraph right? Really who puts potentially crucial information at the end. The only reason Naruto could see for this technique to be labeled "forbidden" was just the sheer amount of chakra it took to make even a single clone, and its potential for abuse. There was something in there about the creator running himself dry from over using the technique... Oh well, time to practice!

"Hmmm, let's see here. Yeah this should be enough." Naruto figured as he portioned off a section of the power in his belly. The boy formed the unique hand seal for the technique and forced the energy through it. "Shadow Clone Technique!" The boy was rewarded with one very sick looking copy of himself, that quickly burst into smoke, the excess chakra returning to the original. "Hmm let's try that again!"

The second try lasted long enough to double over dry heaving before it too went the way of the dodo. Naruto felt more confident about his third shadow clone. He was starting to get the hang of the technique he thought. Seriously, this was much easier than the techniques they taught at the academy, why didn't they teach this? There was definite progress as his third clone emerged from the smoke... and forth clone. Naruto paused at that. He hadn't intended to make a second clone, but they both seemed pretty stable. Stable enough to stand... and do nothing. Waving his hand Naruto tried to get some reaction from the supposedly autonomous clones. Naruto shrugged and called back the hunks of chakra that were his shadow clone.

"Here we go! Number four!" Confidence burning Naruto got a bit wild. If the technique was supposed to create more than one clone, why not aim for making more? So far his adventures had been met with remarkable success. A supposedly Jonin level technique and he had progressed so rapidly. Let it never be said that success ever went to the head of Uzumaki Naruto ... he just got carried away, sometimes wildly. Three he decided, three would be enough to test himself. Three wasn't too many and if he could at least get them to do something other than stand like boards, then all the better. Focusing briefly Naruto shoved a slightly larger amount of power into the technique. More clones would mean more chakra, right? The energy whistling through the technique's compression-entanglement seemed to be more direct, more confident than before. This time for sure he would have it. Naruto was sure. He was going to pass! He was going to p-

Brain-pretzel!

Naruto gasped in pain as his cerebral cortex contorted itself into the most excruciating configuration possible. The boy's muscles locked up, unable to handle the messages his brain was sending them as his mind was literally being twisted around itself. Through the convoluted neural pathways Naruto heard clapping above him.

"Nice job."

"That's kind of funny actually."

"What did you do, you moron?"

"Hgrraderg." The originally Naruto gurgled. What he had meant to say was, "Shut up you stupid clones." but like every other part of his body, his tongue was not cooperating.

"No, but seriously. What did you do?"

Naruto tried to answer but was again thwarted by his minds contorted position. The three living, viable, autonomous clones looked down on their original. On one hand it was kind of funny to see him twitching like that, on the other hand it was embarrassing to see themselves spaz out on the cold hard ground. It was obvious after several seconds of mangled gurgles and half formed words that their original was not going to be able to answer them. "So," the middle clone looked up from his creator, "while twitchy works out his issues, you want to figure out what he did?" His fellow clones shrugged and nodded vigorously. The scroll of forbidden techniques lay open several feet from where Naruto had been practicing. The boy's clones sat down around it and commenced reading (attempting to find a remedy) for whatever had happened during their creation.

"Hey, did you even read this?" One of the clones called out to the twitching boy. Naruto managed to gurgle out the reply 'skimmed it' through his seizure. "And you didn't get to the part that said that improper implementation of the technique could result in BRAIN DAMAGE, did you?"

"Where did it say that?" The first clone turned to his companion and pointed to the scroll. "About three quarters of the way through."

"Oh. You know you'd think they'd put that somewhere important. Like in big red characters somewhere on the second line."

"No. They expect if you're learning techniques from the FORBIDDEN SCROLL that you're intelligent enough to actually read through everything before you try it out."

"Yeah, but really who puts important stuff after the explanation of the technique. It should come before it, you know that way you can read it before you know how to do it."

"True, but we'd just skim over that too. I mean come on look, there are the words giant fluffy cow in the third paragraph. I think if we had read it thoroughly the first time, we would have remembered that."

"Yeah... oh well." The clone shrugged just before the three of them disappeared in a puff of smoke.

As his mental faculties returned Naruto shivered. "I hope I never have to go through that again."

Mizuki grinned. He had finally given Iruka the slip. It had not been as easy as he had thought. When he had begun working at the academy with his childhood friend he had not expected to be surgically connected to him. He was running far behind schedule. Yes, his group had been maneuvered away from the training grounds where he and the demon brat were supposed to meet, but by now somebody else could have easily found the boy. It was risky, going to the point now, but he had to try. If by some stroke of luck the boy had managed to escape notice, he could still walk off with a kill underneath his belt.

The area seemed empty when the man dropped down from the trees. "Na- Naruto?" Mizuki cursed himself for letting his apprehension seep into his voice. He had to be the confident instructor proctoring the exam, not the criminal plotting murder. If the boy got any hint of his true intentions... well the ANBU had a hard enough time catching him, so Mizuki doubted he could either. As things stood he had maybe a fifty-fifty chance at pulling this off.

"Here I am sensei!" The blond boy strolled casually out of a bush, "See! See! I learned one!" The boy pointed hysterically to a clone that followed him into the clearing. Mizuki, however, didn't notice the corporeal clone. His mind was too busy marveling at his luck. Nothing had gone right today, and yet after it all here, right in front of him, the moron had left himself totally exposed. How easy could this get? Kill the bastard or not, jack the scroll in his hand and get the hell out of the village. The choices, the options, the chances! One Kunai!

Wait. Mizuki felt something cold hit his stomach. Why were their two orange clad idiots in front of him? "Do I pass, sensei? Do I? Do I? Do I?"

"Wha- but how. Whe-" Mizuki swallowed his surprise. "Con-congratulations, Naruto." Mizuki was scrambling. He had not actually expected dead last to learn a jonin level technique. This was outrageous, he couldn't even perform a clone! Once again things had become complicated. He had to think of something and fast... "Okay, in order to complete this special secret graduation exam, you must hand over the scroll to me." The man realized just how unconvincing he sounded after the words slipped out of his lips. There was no way the boy was going to buy that. While he reached out with one hand, the traitor slipped his other hand into his pack and grabbed two kunai. He couldn't tell which one of the blondes was real, so he would just have to hit them both, when it came to that.

"Sure! Here you go!" The idiot with the scroll walked over and handed Mizuki the scroll. "Do I pass, now?"

"Yeah, sure." Mizuki tried to blink away his confusion, unsuccessfully. How did this kid even manage to get through the security to get to the forbidden scroll? Was it really that easy? Come to think of it, he didn't really know what kind of security measures were around the forbidden scroll. For all he knew it had a giant sign over it that said "Forbidden Scroll Here" (Footnote 1) Mizuki was just about finally get his hands on one of the most guarded secrets of this sappy village when his highly tuned senses alerted him to danger. Ducking out of the way Mizuki barely managed to avoid the volley of kunai that almost lacerated him.

"Mizuki what are you doing?"

"Damn." The traitor swore as Iruka emerged from the forest. The only thing that could make this day any worse would be having the Hokage looking over his shoulder.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei! I can graduate right! I got the scroll and learned shadow clone, see." The demon boy pointed back to his clone who waved in recognition. Iruka frowned, "Naruto, what are you talking about?"

"The secret graduation exam... don't you know about it?"

"Naruto who told you that?" The kind teacher growled dangerously, his eyes flicking over to his partner in cri- teaching. The man realized he had been caught red handed. His muscles were tense. He was a rat backed into a corner, prone to attack. It was just a twitch of his arm, but Iruka hadn't been selected for chonin for nothing. "Naruto, move!"

The knife came out with blinding speed, aimed for the boys throat. Surging fear fueled chakra through his body and Iruka pushed himself to move faster than he had ever moved before. Just before leaping forward, Iruka saw the look on the boy's face as he registered what was going on. For the next fraction of a second, Iruka couldn't see anything, he was moving too fast. When he could see again Iruka saw the orange jumpsuit flying backward, unharmed. The next thing the teacher comprehended was pain. A deep gash cut through his vest and into his chest. He had managed to get Naruto out of the way of the traitor's attack, but he hadn't managed to avoid it himself.

"Iruka-sensei!" The clone of Naruto cried witnessing his teacher jump faster than the eye could see into an attack to save his original. To Naruto, everything moved too fast for him to comprehend. Crimson-black droplets hung in the air. He could hear his clone shouting, he could feel himself flying through the air. But none of it made sense. His brain couldn't fit together the pieces into an order that he could understand. Black knives cut above his head and embedded themselves into the forest. The ground came up and slapped against his back, hit his head. He bounced away. The base of his skull ached from the impact but he could hear metal clashing against metal. He pushed himself off the ground to see what was going on. Iruka. Mizuki. A scroll. Weapons. Fighting. His head couldn't handle all the information that was coming. This was supposed to be a test, right? Why were his teachers fighting? What was going on?

Mizuki kicked Iruka away and swung around to face Naruto. Reaching back, the man grabbed the giant shuriken attached to his back. Naruto tried to move, but something froze him. The face of his teacher, usually smiling, or indifferent, or worried, was plastered with hate. Hate, hate, burning hate. It was like all the burning eyes of the village were melted and poured into the man's skull. They blazed with anger hate, like little suns. Naruto drew back in fear, his legs unable to move, melted by the fire in the man's eyes. "Die you little demon brat!"

"Wh- why?" Naruto whispered, trying to understand the emotion burning in the man's eyes.

"Because that THING inside you ruined my life!"

"What? I didn't do anything!"

"No, you didn't." The man smiled cruelly, enjoying this far too much to be sane, "But the thing inside you did. Have you ever wondered why everyone hates you? You're a demon. The Kyuubi, the monster that destroyed our village and killed the Fourth, is sealed within you. But. don't worry! It won't be for much longer. Rejoice! For I shall cut it out of you!" The man, insane Naruto was sure, pulled his arm back, ready to swing the deadly weapon at the boy. Suddenly the man twitched, his eyes grew wide in pain, and rolled back into his skull - the hate in them extinguished.

Mizuki fell to the ground.

"Naruto. Are- are you okay?" Iruka panted. The man looked like hell, breathing heavy and the front of his vest was stained a dark color from the liquid seeping out of the long gash.

Naruto swallowed, trying to find his voice again, "Y- Yeah." He whispered hoarsely. Somewhere in everything that had happened his clone had disappeared. He had never seen someone die before. It- it was terrifying, he decided. Even seeing it happen to something that was about to kill him... it was awful. Confused, hot, and shameful tears began to well up in the boys eyes. "I- I don't understand."

"It's okay, Naruto. You are safe."

"But, what- he said that..." Naruto pushed his hand against his stomach. He couldn't imagine that a beast like the nine-tailed fox was sealed in there, in him. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be. But as the hot tears began to slide down his cheeks memories came piling on top of him. "You killed the fourth." "You're a monster." "You ruined our lives." The anger, the pain, the hate, the hurt in all those eyes. The eyes that would sting him when he walked down the street. The fists that hit him and the feet that kicked him. The insults and meanness when he would walk through the Kyuubi Festival. The hate, above all the hate. "You monster." "You demon." "Get away." "Die." It couldn't be true. He had never done anything! He had never done anything like that! It couldn't be true.

"Naruto," The boy opened his eyes when he felt his teachers hands on his shoulder, "it is true."

"No, no, I didn't do it! I didn't-"

"Naruto," The man's quite, raspy voice cut the boy off, "You are not the Kyuubi." Strength was leaving the man as blood dribbled out of the gruesome gash. "You are not a monster."

Tears were blurring his vision, but Naruto could still see the smile creep across the teachers face, "A monster wouldn't paint the monument, a monster wouldn't laughed, a monster wouldn't try so hard, a monster wouldn't do all the things you do. Yes, the Kyuubi is sealed inside of you, but" blood spattered out as the man coughed "you're no monster." Finally the man's legs gave out and he dropped to his knees, holding tightly to Naruto to keep from falling. "The K- It killed my family. It made me an orphan... just like you.

"I don't hate you." His voice was fading, but he needed to finish. "Others do, but you will show them: you are not the monster. You proved that to me. I. don't... hate you, Naruto. I... L..." Shadows finally claimed the man's eyes. And, like the puppet whose strings were cut, he collapsed.

During the fight with his partner, the band holding his forehead protector had been cut. Now the last few threads holding it, snapped. When Ebisu, an elite jonin of the village, discovered the clearing. He found Naruto, holding his sensei tightly. The forehead protector was held in between them. He had been drawn there by the sound of a child's cries.

Footnote 1

In actuality the only security measures placed around the Scroll of Forbidden Jutsu was an ingenious trick of deception. It's actually sitting right out in the open in the hidden library underneath the Hokage monument, erroneously sorted alongside a long list of techniques so antiquated, useless, and complex that no one ever looked over those shelves. One could only find it if they knew where to look, or how to manipulate the card catalog, a skill only taught to librarians anymore. This brilliant disguise was actually devised by Hon during his tenure as curator of the Hidden Library.

Onyx: Wow, that was kind of a downer ending... Oh well.

Clone 1: Oh well! You just going to leave it like that?

Onyx: Yes. And you shouldn't be talking yet!

Clone 1: What?

Onyx: SHHH! Welcome to THE END OF THE CHAPTER SHORT! Today's guests are: Naruto's clones!

*Applause*

Onyx: Okay, now you can talk.

Clone 1: What? Who was even clapping. You have no idea if people are even going to read this.

Clone 2: So? I like applause, so it origin does not matter.

Onyx: Exactly, I agree with numba 2. Now ON TO QUESTIONS

Clone 3: Are you always like this?

Onyx: Yes, I mean no! I mean I'm the one asking the questions here!

Clone 3: Whhaatever

Onyx: Okay first question: why DID Naruto suffer from his brain-pretzel attack?

Clone 1: Well part of the shadow clone technique is splitting your chakra in to relatively even pieces. Naruto wasn't careful enough and ended splitting his mind too. So basically he just ripped his brain into about three pieces and forgot to leave one for himself.

Clone 3: It was actually kind of funny to watch him spaz out like that.

Clone 2: Yeah, he kind of looked like a squire. The exploding kind.

…

Onyx: And on that note we have to wrap everything up. That's all the time we have for today on END OF CHAPTER SHORTS. Review, tell your friends, get in touch with you inner psycho and review again!

See you next time!