Summary: A lie Rikuo told his human friends without thinking turns into a massive web of deceit that results in Kurotabou dressed as a woman and posing as his aunt for a week. The conspirators of the scheme must keep Kuro's identity secret from the humans, the household and the massive amounts of youkai visitors that will be arriving for Rikuo's thirteenth birthday. Unfortunately for Kuro, he plays the role of mysterious female a little too well…

Author's Notes:

~New AN 3-20-2012~~~So! Now that I'm almost caught up on the manga, I think I need to point out that, yeah... this fic is sort of AU lol. It follows the real story right up until after the defeat of Hagoromo Gistune and then it goes off on it's own. But I think it being an AU would be pretty obvious anyway since I'm having various bishounen youkai hooking up with each other :3~~~~

I wish I could keep it a surprise but obviously, I need to let you know the eventual pairing up front. This'll be a somewhat sexually confused, embarrassed and adorably reluctant Kurotabou/Kubinashi with a variety of other pairings on the side with lots of hilarious facepalm situations.

Also, I intend to make this NC-17 in later chapters. So I'm going to go ahead and mark it as M rated.

But yeah, it's yaoi. Don't like it, don't read it. This is your only warning. Flames will be laughed at.

I'm still reading the manga, but unless I'm mistaken, Rikuo is still twelve in the anime up to this point (season two completed) and with thirteen the age of adulthood for youkai and the birthday that Rikuo will take over as Lord of Pandemonium, the celebration just begs to be turned into a hilarious mess for everyone involved.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nurarihyon. If I did, all the minor bishounen youkai characters would get more story.

Chapter 1

It Started With A Simple Lie

Rikuo left school looking like someone had just told him he would die an agonizing death within the coming week. Tsurara followed him looking worried and panicky with Yura walking behind them with her usual innocent expression slightly tinted with a small smirk.

The ice maiden pat her master on the back, trying to cheer him up. "Don't worry waka, we'll figure something out! Keikain-san even volunteered to help us!" She smiled brightly, looking more confident than she felt about the whole matter.

Though she offered to help the Sandaime, so far Yura's only contribution was making Rikuo feel worse. "You should really think your lies through before you say them out loud. All you did was make an unavoidable situation worse."

Tsurara shot the onmyouji a glare before continuing to pat her brooding master's back.

It was a Friday, and Sunday would be Rikuo's thirteenth birthday. Since this would be the day that Rikuo became an adult in the eyes of youkai and would officially take up the full duties of the Lord of Pandemonium, there was to be a weeklong celebration hosted at the Nura house. Youkai lords and countless demons from all over Japan that belonged to the Nura clan would be attending the festivities.

However, none of that was what was bothering Rikuo. True, it was a huge part of it, but only because of the problem that presented itself today.

Kiyotsugu had invited himself and the Kiyo Cross Squad to Nura's house – again – for Rikuo's birthday and they would be coming that night to stay all weekend and as luck would have it, the following week was a school break. So, not only would Rikuo have to keep his human friends away from the youkai guests, but more than likely, Kiyotsugu would insist on staying the whole week in Rikuo's haunted house – unknowingly during the entire youkai festivities.

But that wasn't even the worst part! In a quick, reckless attempt to keep his friends from coming to his house, Rikuo blurted out the first lie that came to mind; that his aunt that he hadn't seen in several years was at his house visiting for his birthday.

Of course, this did nothing to discourage the discourteous self-entitled Kiyotsugu. In fact, it only made him more resolute in his decision to invite himself and the Cross Squad to Rikuo's house so they could meet the Nura aunt.

So now, not only did the young lord have to keep his friends away from the usual inhabitants of his house and the youkai visitors that would start arriving the next day, but he had to find someone who he trusted enough to pose as his aunt for the next week and he only had until that evening when his friend's would show up to find someone.

Some days he wondered if it was really worth the effort to keep his human friends in the dark about who he really was. Of course, if they found out, Kiyotsugu would lead the humans into even more danger than he already did and probably move into Rikuo's house permanently.

That was a problem for another time however. For the moment, the issue on the top of his list was finding an aunt in the next few hours.

It was already understood between the three conspirators that the person would need to be one of the Nura affiliated youkai in order to move about the house and among the tenants freely until the humans left. The trouble with that was there were very few female youkai in the Nura house that were strong enough to maintain a human illusion for any prolonged period of time.

The perfect candidate would have been Kejoro if it wasn't for the fact that the humans already knew her as a 'house keeper' and Asajigahara no Kijo, the girl/woman board member duo were too old and too young to pose as Rikuo's aunt.

He never realized before just how few powerful female youkai there were in the main house.

"How about we ask Sasami-san to pose as your aunt waka?" Tsurara mentioned brightly.

Yura shook her head, "No, the girls have seen the Sanba Garasu before. Even with her wings hidden and dressed differently, they might recognize her."

Rikuo continued to lead the way home, sulking as he walked, having remained silent since leaving the school grounds. He was frantically trying to think up a way out of the mess he'd landed himself in while inwardly kicking himself - which his youkai personality eagerly helped with.

"If you continue your friendship with them, they'll find out the truth one day no matter what you do to prevent it." Yoru told him from within his mind.

"I know it, but we both know it's best for them to stay ignorant as long as possible for their own safety." Rikuo thought to his alter ego. "Anyway, if you're not going to help me come up with ideas for the current issue then stay quiet so I can think of some."

He could see Yoru wave his hand dismissively in his mind's eye. "Ask one of the girl's from Tono then."

"You know the group from Tono won't be here until Sunday and there's not enough time to send for them. They wouldn't arrive until after midnight and I only have three hours at the earliest to find someone to play the aunt that's supposed to already be at the house."

Yoru was about to make another suggestion that only Rikuo could hear when Tsurara unknowingly beat him to it. "Why don't we ask Ryoutaneko-san if we could borrow one of his waitresses to play the role?"

Rikuo sighed and finally spoke, "We may have to do just that. I just really wish that the person to do this was someone I know well and completely trust whole heartedly."

He growled in an expression of frustration usually reserved for when his youkai half had taken over. "Why? WHY couldn't I have said uncle instead of aunt? There are so many males in the house that have sworn sakazuki loyalty with me that are strong enough to stay in an illusion as a human."

Rikuo hung his head in self depreciating defeat, "I can't even come up with a good and convenient lie." He added in a mumble, "I'm going to make a terrible lord of demons."

Tsurara gave her master a hug and encouraged him, "No waka! You'll make a great Lord of Pandemonium! You lead all your youkai in battle and politics as if you've been doing it all your life. Lying is just something you need practice at! Even those born as full-fledged youkai like myself sometimes have trouble perfecting deception." She smiled brightly at him, "In fact, after all these years, I'm still pretty bad at lying."

The young lord smiled slightly at his attendant, "Thanks Tsurara-chan. That makes me feel a little better."

The onmyouji following them lightly sniffed in disdain, "You can focus on improving your youkai praised skills of trickery later. We don't have much time to fix the current problem."

The ice maiden turned to glare at her again but happened to catch a glimpse of a woman's clothing store across the street and a brilliant idea popped into her head.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Tsurara stopped walking and clapped her hands excitedly at her own idea. "I've got it! You can have one of your sworn servants pose as your aunt after all waka!" She waved her hands around widely as if she came up with the best idea ever thought of before in the history of the world. "We can dress up one of the guys as a woman!"

Rikuo and Yura looked surprised at her idea. To be specific, Rikuo had an intrigued look of surprise while Yura's look was one of horrified shock.

"That's a terrible idea!" The overly innocent onmyouji looked incredibly disturbed.

"No it's not!" The yuki-onna argued back, "Lots of the youkai males who have sworn loyalty to waka are gorgeous guys. Some of them even get mistaken as women even when they're dressed in men's clothing. Like Mezumaru when he goes without wearing the skull on his head."

Rikuo nodded excitedly, "That is a great idea Tsurara-chan! But who looks just the right age and feminine enough to pass as my aunt?"

The ice maiden stopped to think about it for a moment, but before she had a chance to start listing off her ideas of possible candidates, the answer presented itself before them.

"There you are waka! Soudaisho sent me to ensure that you head home right away. He and Karasu-Tengu-sama wish to speak with you about a few last minute decisions that need to be made for the festivities."

Kurotabou was now standing before the trio, appearing to the humans on the street as a normal man with unusually long hair. Said hair was tied back in a loose ponytail and he had opted for a casual outfit of snug jeans and a loose t-shirt. To the ignorant observer, he looked like he was someone who might be in his final year of university.

Rikuo and Tsurara quickly looked over the monk's fine facial features, long silken hair and slender frame. Turning to each other, they both nodded in silent agreement that they both were thinking the exact same thing. Immediately, each of them grabbed one of Kuratabou's arms and dragged him into the nearby alleyway followed by a flustered and slightly panicky Yura.

"W-waka! What's wrong?" The black monk worriedly asked as he was dragged away from the prying eyes and ears of humans on the street.

Rikuo started out with, "Kuro, I need your help."

After several minutes of explanation from Rikuo and Tsurara with the occasional input from an ill at ease onmyouji, Kurotabou looked just as stricken with terror and a sense of a horrible dread as his master did not a half an hour before.

"It would really help me out a lot if you did this for me Kuro, but it is a really weird thing to ask of you so I'm not going to make it an order. So I'm asking you a favor as my trusted friend." Rikuo may not have had lying mastered yet, but he was an expert at guilt trips, puppy dog eyes and lulling people into a false sense of security with his cuteness.

So of course Kurotabou agreed to play the role of Rikuo's 'human aunt' – though he felt like he just might cry in despair.

"Of course I will do as you ask waka." A cold chill ran up the monk's spine as he agreed to what he knew would be his own personal hell. "But may I ask a favor in return?"

Rikuo smiled brightly in relief that his subordinate was going to help him with his lie. "Of course Kuro!"

The weapon's master nodded somberly once, "Can we keep this as a secret from everyone? Especially from Aotabo and the others?"

For the powerful youkai that he was, Kuro was mortified at the possibility of his brethren finding out this secret, even though he was doing it at the request of their master. Aotabo in particular, would never let the black monk go a day for the rest of his life without reminding him about what was sure to be the most humiliating week in his existence.

Rikuo nodded hastily, "Of course Kuro! We'll come up with something to keep the others from knowing it's you."

"Oh! We can say that you're a messenger from Tono who came before the others. You found waka to give him a message from his comrades that are coming and since you happened to come at just the perfect time, he asked you to pose as his aunt in front of his human friends." Tsurara rambled off her idea excitedly.

Rikuo nodded eagerly, "That's perfect!"

Yura poked a hole in the duo's bubble of excitement. "Aren't your comrades from Tono coming? How will you explain a mysterious messenger from their village that they've never met?"

The only two that were excited about the plan suddenly lost all their energy.

"Dammit." Rikuo thought hard for a moment, "We may have to let them in on the secret."

Kurotabou, who'd been very quiet, cringed slightly but continued to stay silent.

"Or maybe you could tell them that Kuro-san is a stray youkai that you found and decided to take into the Nura clan but you didn't want to tell Nuragumi and officially include him – I mean her – until after the festivities and everything settled down at the main house." The ice maiden continued, "And her posing as your aunt in front of your human friend's is a help to you as well as a test of her loyalty."

Rikuo thought for a moment, "That may actually work."

"And what are you going to do when it comes time to make the 'stray youkai' a member of Nura?" Yura asked.

Tsurara was quick to answer, "Everyone from Tono will go home before waka would add the stray to the family, and once they're gone, Kuro-san can 'leave' right after they do so everyone left in the house will think he went back to Tono with them."

"Alright, but I think you're forgetting a major obstacle." Yura countered, "Won't everyone wonder where Kurotabou-san is while the mysterious 'woman' is in the house? You can't just say that he's gone somewhere else for the week of his master's coming of age festivities and expect everyone to believe that while a stranger that looks like him visits while he's gone."

"He can change back and forth between being himself and the visiting female." The ice maiden reasoned.

The onmyouji quirked an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure that's the plot of countless comedy shows and movies, and I don't remember it ever working out for any of those characters."

Tsurara scrunched up her nose, "Well I haven't watched very much human entertainment but I know this will work. There will be hundreds of youkai present. It will be easy for Kuro-san to switch outfits without being noticed by anyone and he'll only have to show up in front of the humans as the aunt, and he'll only have to do that about as often as they see Wakana-sama."

Rikuo had been deep in thought during their debate, "It'll be a challenge at first, but I think it'll work out too. Especially after all the youkai start drinking, and I kind of doubt they'll stop doing that until the day they leave."

Yura deadpanned, "So basically, you'll be lying to your human friends, telling another lie to your family, and telling yet another lie to your comrades from Tono which is supposed to be a fake truth to the lie you told your family, while making your servant switch between being himself and impersonating a female youkai while keeping the truth secret from hundreds of youkai and the Kiyo Cross Squad."

The young lord nodded, as if he was agreeing to a question about what music he liked and not an assessment about a complicated web of deceit, "Yeah, that sounds like an accurate summary."

The onmyouji couldn't help but uncharacteristically roll her eyes. "Is it your ultimate goal to make life harder on yourself and those that serve you or are you just a masochist that's into mentally torturing his followers?"

Yoru laughed inside his head, "She has a point you know."

"Shut up."

Outwardly, Rikuo said, "I'm not really left with many options in this instance if I want to keep my secret, and Kuro's part in this secret and you know as well as I do that it's safer for Kiyotsugu-kun and the others if they don't know that I'm a youkai."

Yura's only sign that she had conceded was a resigned sigh, but she muttered one last defiant objection. "I still say that if you planned what you tell the Kiyo Cross Squad better, you wouldn't be in this mess right now."

Rikuo sighed as well, "You're right of course. I'm going to start working harder on that after we get through this whole nightmare."

The Keikain girl shook her head ruefully and mumbled to herself, "I'm not even sure why I said I'd help a youkai with his lies… I think Hidemoto-sama's personality has been rubbing off on me."

The young youkai lord heard her mumblings and smiled gratefully, "Thank you for your help with this, Yura-chan."

Tsurara pounded her right fist into her left hand. "So we're all agreed on the story we'll tell everyone right?" They nodded in response, Kuro looking whiter than his usual pale complexion.

"Right then! Keikain-san and I will take Kuro-san to get some clothes. Soudaisho is waiting so you better go home right away waka."

"Right. Thank you too, Tsurara-chan." Rikuo took out his wallet and handed it to the yuki-onna, "Here, use my money to buy whatever you need to pull this off." He turned to look up at Kurotabou, "And I especially want to thank you for your part in this Kuro. After this whole mess is over I'll treat you to whatever you want!"

The monk may not like what he was going to have to do but he could never be upset with his beloved master. "It is always my honor to assist you when you need my help Rikuo-sama."

He was rewarded with a bright and happy smile from his young lord before Rikuo ran off toward home, waving farewell and calling out a promise to meet the trio as soon as they arrived back at the Nura house.

AN

Sorry if Yura sounded out of character and overly grumpy. This story is set soon after the dust has settled from the Hagoromo-Gitsune arc and now that the crisis has been averted she's still in the middle of dealing with knowing her friend Rikuo is the Lord of Pandemonium, who saved her countless times while dealing with the lifelong ingrained lessons that youkai are bad and must be killed on sight. So she's got some of her own inner conflict to handle right now and it comes out with her sounding cranky.

My excuses for dressing Kuro as a woman –

Asajigahara no Kijo are the old woman and little girl that you see hand in hand in the background of the Nura house a lot (according to the manga). I'm also pretending that the Sanba Garasu appeared in front of Rikuo's friends in their human faced forms rather than the crow ones that they actually did show up as. And my excuses for not using the Tono girls are written in the story.

Really though, I just wanted to dress poor Kuro up as a woman for some fun and embarrassing misunderstanding and hijinks :D

This chapter was only half as long as the ones I'm used to writing for 'Raspberry Cravings' but I felt this was the perfect place to end the chapter.

Next chapter: Kuro is subjected to the horrors of clothes shopping with girls.

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