Well, here you go! I don't have much to say, really, except,

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I promise you, if I did, Harry would not be a Hufflepuff.

If Harry was a Hufflepuff

Harry Potter sat on the stool his eyes shut tightly. Not Slytherin, not Slytherin, he thought anxiously.

Don't worry, you don't have Slytherin in you.

Good, thought Harry with relief. Well, what house am I, then?

Hmm…difficult, difficult…you are rather smart, and you are quite brave. And loyal, yes, very loyal…you could be in Slytherin if you really tried…

No!

Alright, alright, no need to shout. That's my job. You could be in each house, but I think you're perfect for…HUFFLEPUFF!

And thus, Harry Potter was in Hufflepuff. But since being in Hufflepuff isn't as good as Gryffindor, and Hufflepuffs and Slytherins aren't such rivals, Harry was never teased by Draco Malfoy again. And, seeing as Harry never had flying lessons with the Slytherins, young Harry Potter listened to the rules. And since young Harry Potter listened to the rules, young Harry Potter was not on the Quidditch team. And Harry, being the person he was, was friends with one Ronald Weasley, but just barely. It was like the train ride never happened.

And what of the Philosopher's Stone, do you ask? Or, for America, the Sorcerer's? Well, being in Hufflepuff changed things for Harry quite a bit. Seeing as he was in Hufflepuff, and not Gryffindor, Harry did not visit Hagrid so much. And since Harry did not visit Hagrid so much, he never found out about the dragon, and never talked to Hagrid about the stone.

Don't get me wrong; Harry and Hagrid were still friends. But Harry did not go over quite as often, and instead favored spending his time making friends with Cedric Diggory. And since Harry was a Hufflepuff, Severus Snape did not think much of him, because, of course, James Potter was never a Hufflepuff-could never dream of it, he was quite brave, even with that loyalty-and neither was Lily.

Quirrell? What about him? Yes, yes, Quirrell went and tried to steal the stone, and Dumbledore, as he received the letter to the Ministry, left, leaving Quirrell to go. So one Quirrell took the stone for his master and left the school, and Harry Potter, along with everyone else besides Severus Snape and Professor Dumbledore, did not know where Quirrell went.

So Voldemort came back, and sought out Harry Potter. But when Voldemort found out Harry was a Hufflepuff, he decided to spend his time doing other things, favoring to put off this easy task of killing the boy until later, because Harry, being a Hufflepuff, was not on his guard about Voldemort. In fact, after that conversation on the train with one Ronald Weasley, Voldemort slipped his mind, and Harry began to call Voldemort He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

The Chamber of Secrets, might you ask? Well, since Harry Potter never visited the Weasleys that fateful night, Molly Weasley saw it fit to go to the store earlier because she did not have to spend her time fattening up Harry. And so, Ginerva Weasley, also known as Ginny, never got the diary, so the Chamber was never re-opened. But Harry Potter did get on the Quidditch team. He was a Chaser, don't you know?

Sirius Black? Remus Lupin? Well, Harry never met Remus that one time on the train, so their relationship was strictly student-teacher, much to Remus' dismay. And Sirius Black received the newspaper, but upon going to Hogwarts and finding out Harry was not a Gryffindor, and therefore could not go into the Hufflepuff common room, decided to sneak in and kill Pettigrew and be done with it.

The Triwizard Tournament? Well, Harry, upon being good friends with Cedric, never developed feelings for Cho as he could see how obviously in love they were. And Harry never entered the Triwizard Tournament seeing as Bartemius Crouch never saw fit to enter him. After all, he was a Hufflepuff, who called Voldemort You-Know-Who, so he could kill Harry whenever he liked. And since Harry never went to the World Cup with the Weasleys, Voldemort never went and set off the Dark Mark either. So Harry just had a normal year at school, and Cedric stayed alive and came back to Cho Chang.

Harry, upon never knowing Sirius and never developing a connection with Dumbledore, never went to the Order of the Phoenix and Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. And, although one Dolores Umbridge came to the school, Harry, upon never forming the D.A, never got Dumbledore sacked. And Harry, being the happy, and although loyal Hufflepuff he is, never got detention. So Harry Potter never used the blood quill.

Harry's years were pretty insignificant, and seeing as they were, I won't bother to mention sixth or seventh year, just that Dumbledore died like planned, although Harry, never feeling a connection with the old Headmaster, did not care as much. But he did care. He's a Hufflepuff. Not a Slytherin.

And since Harry never looked for Horcruxes, Harry stayed at Hogwarts and had to endure the reign of the Carrows. But it's alright, Harry was a Hufflepuff, so he was still loyal to the good side. And, seeing as no Horcruxes were destroyed and Hogwarts had no Harry Potter of Gryffindor to lead them, Voldemort came and Hogwarts lost without a fight.

So Voldemort won the war, and everyone called him the Dark Lord, and Harry, because he never heard the Prophecy, never bothered to go into hiding, so he was killed, as he was not a Slytherin and was no use to the Dark Lord seeing as he was half-blood, even though Voldemort is a hypocrite because he is a half-blood too.

And the Sorting Hat cried, because, after all these years, he regretted making Harry Potter a Hufflepuff, because as soon as he said it, he knew Harry Potter had to be Gryffindor, or at least Slytherin.

"…So," Ron finished, clapping his hands together, "Any questions?"

Hermione and Harry stared at Ron. "Ron," Hermione finally chocked out, "I know I said we were bored and for you to tell us a story, but…"

"…Wasn't that a bit much?" Harry finished. Ron shrugged.

"Well, you know it won't happen because Harry, you're Gryffindor, I'm here, Hermione's here, and-" Ron paused, "-aren't we on the search for Horcruxes right now?"

Hermione gave him a hard look. "Next time, I'm telling the story."

This story isn't finished yet! I still have to do if Harry was a Slytherin, and if Harry was a Ravenclaw… ;)

~D