Small Acts of Kindness

AN:Xanxus x Reader story. Yet again, this is another story that I started one or two years ago and only finished now. I really need to break out of this habit.

Warnings: Xanxus and Squalo. Squalo and Bel. Bel and Fran. Fran and Mammon. Varia. Need anything more to be said?

"Oi, scum."

"Yes Xanxus-sama?"

You turned around expectantly in your chair, waiting for his next order to be given out. As his personal secretary, you were used to him trampling in with a large scowl on his face. Today, you measured his entrance on your Xanxus scale and deemed it normal.

"Sort this mess out."

He unceremoniously dropped a load of paper work on your desk and promptly turned around and left. Quietly, you took the paperwork and sorted it through.

Mission reports, Vongola news…

Three neat piles lay on your desk once you were done. If you were to put it in Xanxus terms, it would be in these categories: Important Trash, Less than Important Trash, and Trash he could give a flying fuck about. Either way, the latter two were almost always burned up. Although it was very stress-relieving to watch (because who really gave a damn about paperwork in the Varia?), it was a pain in the ass to clean up.

Working with the insane bastards that were the commonly known as the Varia did wonders when it came to adding to your profanity. You practically learned a new one every day! Though most of the time, they were always unoriginal courtesy of one Squalo Superbi. His voice could rival the loudest of megaphones. Well, that was expected from the Varia. You sighed through your nose and dropped off the all three of the stacks onto Xanxus' desk. A rustling of papers caught your attention. When you dropped the papers onto the desk, it upset all the other papers on the desk. With quite a surprise, you realized that his desk was very, VERY messy. Was that a dead rat you saw tucked away in the corner of the drawer…? And what was that horrid stench? With a sigh, you decided to clean his desk. Xanxus, Xanxus-sama, definitely needed it.

Organizing his desk had taken the better half of the afternoon. The sun crept below the mountains. Yawning, you stretched your back, hearing the satisfying cracks and the loosening of tense muscles. It had been a late night last night and you were freaking tired. But sadly, you had more paperwork to fill out. Really, Squalo or Bel had to be the ones doing this shit. However, no one could ever see either of them sitting down at a desk and tamely doing paperwork like sane people.

God forbid that the Varia ever hire sane people for that matter.

You internally rolled your eyes. Plunking your chunky headphones over your ears while catchy drum beats rocked in the background, you cracked your figures and dug through the paperwork that unfortunately, had to come with the mafia desk job you had.

Xanxus scowled as he kicked open his office doors. Again another day that was full of retarded idiots that had to bother him incessantly the entire time he remained outside of his office. Even chucking glass after glass of wine at Squalo had not relieved his temper one bit. If he saw paperwork, he swore that he would burn the whole mansion down, that money-sucking, greedy Mammon be damned. To his great relief (and slight surprise), his desk had been completely cleared of paperwork. Even the paperwork that he put off as long as he could had been completely cleared. But where did it go? His eyes wandered to the other desk in the corner. With a start, he saw a slumped figure amidst piles and piles of paperwork that were all completed. You snored on softly with music playing softly in your ears; completely unaware of the intense stare you were getting from crimson irises. Xanxus leaned onto the mahogany desk, shuffling around the piles and looking over the paperwork. He flipped through a particularly nasty mission report and saw that everything had been done precisely and thoroughly. He smirked to himself.

Seems like this trash isn't as useless as the others…

A soft mumble of discomfort broke through the comfortable silence. He glanced down towards you as you shifted on the desk, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard wood. With an eyebrow raised, he heaved a small sigh and picked you up in a rare act of kindness. For someone of his disposition, he deposited you rather gently onto the soft leather couch that was tucked into the corner of the ornate office. With a flourish, he laid the heavy jacket that was always draped onto his shoulders on your still form. You murmured in your sleep, burrowing deeper into the lingering warmth that still resided from his body heat, clutching the jacket and drawing it around you. With a silent chuckle, he padded as quietly as a panther out the double doors.

The chirping of birds accented the beginning of a new day. Bright rays of sunlight punched through the gaps in the blinds, shining across your face. You tossed and turned in your sleep, unwilling to rise to face the hectic life of the Varia. But the sunlight seemed to be determined in waking you up from the beauty sleep you needed. With a groan, your eyes fluttered open blearily. You fumbled for your black spectacles on a table that wasn't there. Quickly, you found them lying skewed on the floor; it seems like you had knocked them over in your sleep. Rubbing the cricks in your aching neck, you rose, grumbling as you heard distant explosions in other parts of the mansion. Great. More paperwork. The rustling of stiff fabric falling off your torso drew your attention. Curiously, you held up the familiar black jacket, wondering why it was there. A smile split your face as your sleep-befuddled brain realized why it was there.

Awww, how cute. He's shy.

Xanxus stormed the hallways of the Varia stronghold, arrogance apparent in his stride. His subordinates cowered as he strode by. He was beyond pissed. Some courageous (or incredibly stupid) souls had inquired where his jacket was. He told them to fuck off in less than polite ways. Grumbling, he kicked the door to his office open, tramping through the office. If he even saw the mere sight of that damned paperwork, he would blow something up, that greedy little bastard Mammon be damned or not. However, when he reached his desk (which was only useful as a footrest), instead of finding the piles of messy, unorganized paperwork for the day on his desk, he saw that they had been organized and finished, the mission reports sitting in a neat stack right in front of the chair. His jacket was draped over the chair. He quickly placed it over his shoulders, savoring the familiar heat that came with the extra clothing. A smirk adorned his face. At least something turned out right today. Walking over, he inspected his desk. Impeccable. Everything was done perfectly and with precision. However, he saw a little white note stuck to the paper. What was written on it made him raise his eyebrows.

Thank you.

In the Varia mansion, if you followed the loudest voices to their source, you would generally find the most elite of the Varia, namely Squalo. Wherever Squalo was, Bel would be too, and wherever Bel was, you could find both Mammon and Fran. Levi was not important; you could always find him in a corner somewhere, worshipping his beloved boss in one of his many portable shrines. And wherever it seemed the most lively, you could be sure Lussuria would be there, trying to spread his love. The exact situation described above was happening when you entered one of the small sitting rooms in the Varia mansion. Bel and Squalo were squabbling over something trivial though you were quite sure that it had something to do with that suspicious bottle half-hidden behind Bel's back and the colorful explosion that was now Squalo's beloved hair. It resembled a fruit firework. Lussuria was flitting around the two, cooing over how poor Squalo "It looks so much better now!" That wasn't really helping. With a sigh, you plopped onto the couch between Mammon, who was counting his money (for the 14th time today, you noticed) and Fran, who was stoically watching cartoons on the TV conveniently placed in front of the leather sofa. You watched dutifully with him, absently stroking the shock of teal-colored hair next to you. Fran shifted slightly but did nothing to move away from your slender hands. Behind you, the small argument had finally erupted into a full blown-out war. You ducked absentmindedly as the bottle of tropical fruit dye flew by overhead. Where did Bel find that kind of thing anyways? Fran sighed from next to you. You looked quizzically at him as he tugged your sleeve, leading you away from the small sitting room and into the hallway.

"It's safer out here for you."

Sure enough, after you had just left the room, there was a loud clatter that you identified as body hitting picture frames of Xanxus. A silent roar followed as Levi jumped into the fray and dragged an unwilling Lussuria into the fight with a "Oh no honey~" You sweatdropped; Lussuria always managed to make a situation less than serious. Mammon drifted out a few moments later, having avoided the tussle in the sitting room. You could hear him mutter under his breath about repair bills. You sighed.

"But I'm the one that has to deal with the paperwork Mammon."

"Poor you."

He stoically shook his head while drifting closer to the wall. In the distance, you could hear large, angry footsteps stomping closer and closer. Cue Xanxus into the scene. In one fell swoop, he tossed Levi and Lussuria into the wall, ignoring the pink man's cry of "No Boss, not my lovely face~" and threw the nearest object, which happened to be the table, at the squabbling Squalo and Belphegor. You winced as you heard the dull smacking sound that you identified as human hitting wall. That was going to leave some bruises for sure. Mentally, you ran over the dwindling supply of medical supplies that were stocked in your room. Bel and Squalo were going to owe you a lot of money after this. With a heavy stomp, Xanxus left the room pretty much the same way he came in, in a whirlwind of heavy curses and loud footsteps disappearing down the hallway. You put your hands on your hips, sighing before entering the room to survey the damage that was inflicted during the little wrangle that had just taken place.

Dents and cracks in the wall, check.

Broken furniture, check.

Lussuria and Levi stuck in the wall, check.

Lussuria whining about his face, check.

Upturned table, check.

Belphegor climbing out from under the table, check.

Squalo cursing up a storm, check.

You then examined with one critical eye the amount of damage each person seemed to have suffered. Lussuria and Levi only had a few scratches and scrapes judging from their passive role in the fight while the active fighters of Squalo and Belphegor had some greater cuts and injuries that were currently bleeding all over the carpet. Your eyes darkened. You were actually quite partial to the carpet in this particular sitting room. You heaved yet another sigh.

"Well we can't have you all just bleeding all over the floor can we now."

Mammon wordlessly floated over and gave you the first aid kit that you had stored in your room in case of emergencies. You murmured thanks to the floating baby before giving a few rolls of bandages over to Lussuria and Levi. Then you headed over to Squalo and Belphegor to help them. With a small grunt, Squalo turned to face you and reluctantly allowed you to tend to his wounds, disinfecting them and bandaging them, listening to his complaints. They tended to consist along the line of "VOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII! FUCKING BOSS!"

"You know, this was mostly your fault."

You ignored Squalo's loud roar of indignation and moved onto bandaging Belphegor's wounds. He grinned creepily at you.

"Shishishishishishishishi, thanks Principessa."

"…Seriously, don't call me that Belphegor. You sound like a fucking creeper."

He frowned.

"How rude."

"I'm the one treating you Bel. Don't forget you owe me."

Taking his silence as an affirmative reply, you continued to treat his wounds. When you finished, you leaned forward and grinned at Bel.

"All finished!"

You ruffled his hair, chuckling as he swatted your hand away. With a satisfied grin, you packed your supplies back into the medicine kit. In the meantime, you directed Squalo and Bel to resetting the furniture.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIII! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?"

Likewise, Bel had his complaints to add to his lot in life.

"Shishishishi, I am a prince. I do not have to do servant's work."

You directed a level stare in their direction.

"As I recall, you guys were the ones who started this whole mess in the first place. As the perpetrators that began this, it is your responsibility to clean up the mess. See it through to the end."

Ultimately, they set around to cleaning the room. Your level stare probably did not help either. And that too, quickly turned into a hard glare when they started to voice more complaints. Note the word tried. Squalo and Bel immediately shut their mouths when they saw that they were pushing your buttons. They did not want to make you mad. Oh no. Last time that happened, you set them cleaning the whole Varia mansion. In hot pink scrubs and neon green rubber gloves. That made degrading squeaky noises when they were scrubbing the floors on their knees. Those pictures that were floating around the base ensured that almost all Core Varia members camp out in their rooms for at least a solid month. Yet you denied your involvement in the whole thing with an innocent smile on your face when questioned and really, they couldn't bring themselves to force the answer out of you when you held pictures of them at their most embarrassing moments hostage. You clever sneak you. But hey, a girl's got to do what she can do to survive in the mansion of assassin's. Especially with these particular assassins.

You smiled cheerfully when you sipped your tea and watched Squalo and Bel right upturned furniture.

"You're such a clean freak."

Your head turned to see Mammon and Fran standing next to you as you sat on the only whole piece of furniture in the entire room. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Isn't it so much nicer when the house is cleaner? Besides, I can't stand the thought of living in a pigsty. You guys are already way too much to deal with on a day-to-day basis."

Mammon just muu'ed at you and floated off to watch Bel pick up pieces of a shattered vase. Fran sat down next to you and you hummed absentmindedly as you rubbed his hair. Just then, you turned your head in time to see Bel pull the carpet out from under Squalo. Squalo did this glorious ¾ spin midair but crashed quite awkwardly into the ground. Squalo's face turned this beautiful tomato red color, but you were seriously starting to worry about his blood pressure this time around. You sat laughing at the priceless expressions on his face, watching as Squalo chased Bel around the room, destroying the very furniture that they just finished fixing, Squalo's hair streaming behind him like a colorful banner flapping in the nonexistent wind.

Damn, why is it always me that has to clean up after them?

You lamented silently in your head. The air around you visibly darkened when you thought of yet another thought.

And yet there is more paper work for me to do.

The door slammed open with enough force to crack the wall. Without warning, gunshots rang throughout the mansion and a glass of bourbon? flew through the air to hit Squalo square on his forehead with a resounding smack. It was all so surreal. A second ago, Bel and Squalo were fighting against each other with clashes of silver metal reflecting the light in the room. Then, you blinked and they were all moaning on the carpet, nursing injuries that previously weren't there. Xanxus came into the room in guns blazing, eyes blazing, in all his Flame of Rage-clad glory.

Damn. He is hot.

Not expecting that from your mind (you swore that this was a side effect from being with mentally depraved people with weird fixations), you ducked back into the couch. Unfortunately, that little bit of movement caught Xanxus' attention. He scowled in your direction. You flapped your hand in his direction, still stifling your chuckles with your other hand as you buried your face into the arm of the sofa.

"Carry on, carry on. Just ignore little old me here."

You kept laughing in your hand, completely unaware that you were in a room full of accomplished assassins that could kill you right there, right then and make sure that no one would ever find out. You either had a vast amount of courage or an incredible lack of self-preservation. However, since you buried your face into the sofa, you did not notice until it was too late that Xanxus approached you. With one swift movement, he threw you over his shoulder, smirking as you made this cute yelping sound. That just turned on his man senses. With you in tow, he lugged you out of the room ignoring catcalls from Bel on the floor, Lussuria's coos of "ah, young love~", and Levi's sobs. As Xanxus tramped down the hallway, you could hear Mammon collecting bet offers. At the moment though, you have more pressing matters to take care of. Xanxus threw you against the wall and smirked that smirk, that oh-so sexy smirk down on you. Your face turned red. You were so screwed right now.

Squalo said, "! IT''S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!"

I didn't find a spot to put that in there. :( But you can imagine him saying that. Review? They make me feel loved on my birthday.