Adjustment

Prompt: Parenthood

Disclaimer: I don't own Thor

And there's the moment he's stalking around, hands behind his back to stop them from trembling. His mother approaches him, smiling broadly. She puts her arm around him and talks but he doesn't listen. His mind is reeling, his movements mechanical. She leads him to the healer, still speaking to him, laughing a little when she sees the fear in his face.

And he stops before going any closer because he can't fathom being closer. It doesn't help that his mother has left him, granting them privacy, time alone to adjust. But, he thinks, standing there, she doesn't need to adapt, she already has. He can see it. She cradles their new son as though she's understood the concept of parenthood as long as she's lived.

"I have two little nieces," she said to him, whenever he expressed the terror that gripped him. It was irrational, she had told him. But, he countered, she was so natural at it, he had seen her with her sister's children, always tender and always loving. He had known then that he would never be able to do the same, that he would be too distant. "Therefore, it's natural that I would have more experience than you in dealing with children."

She beckons him over, her voice soft, her eyes meeting his. He slowly steps forward, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the baby in her arms, sleeping contented. She smiles at him and he cannot muster a smile, only a look of awe.

She had been sure of them, knew that they could do it. She had told him this over and over, and he always doubted it. Maybe she could, he thought, but not him. And while he wanted nothing more than to back away, she forced him to confront the idea. "We need a name," she had said to him suddenly. He had inwardly cringed, always hating the moments when she made him look to the future. He would not be a good father, he told her, swore up and down that he would not understand how to bond with a child. But she still demanded he suggest a name.

And he did, just to appease her. "Vali," he had said. She had considered this, nodding.

"I like it," she told him. She did not ask him to suggest another name, telling him rather about what she thought would work if it were a girl. And that had made him cringe further. He never considered them having a girl, having a daughter. In his mind, it was always a son, always, always a boy. He didn't think he could handle a daughter, didn't know the first thing about girls.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asks.

"No, no." He's afraid, on the brink of being completely terrified, when she even suggests the idea.

"You won't hurt him," she says. "Hold out your arms."

She doesn't say it like a command but he takes it as one. He awkwardly holds out his hands and can't express how frightened he is when she eases Vali from her arms into his. Her fingers guide him, adjusting how he supports the baby.

He's ready to give him back when he sees Vali's eyes open. Then he prays that she'll take the baby back, fearing that the minute his son recognizes that he's no longer in his mother's arms, he'll cry. But she does not reach to take Vali from him, rather, smiling at them both, amusement in her eyes.

Once everyone had heard, they didn't hesitate to give advice and he had to listen to the hypothetical moments dreamed up by others about what his life would be like with a baby. Actual advice, he thought, hardly crossed the minds of men. And, though he didn't take them seriously, listening to the stories made him fear the days that were coming. The reoccurring theme in all the tales were that the women changed and he dreaded that possibility.

The only person he had taken seriously was his mother when she expounded bits of wisdom. His fears ebbed when she told situations in which his father had proven to show the same worries.

Sigyn was subject to receive as much advice as him if not more, he noted. Yet, no matter how ridiculous it was, she always nodded and smiled. Later, that was when she told him and they laughed about it.

And he locks eyes with his son, forgetting every word that he was ever told about how to deal with children. She touches his arm, her body leaning against his. "I told you."

He smiles, watching how Vali is soon fast asleep again. Because this, he thinks, makes all the uncomfortable moments worth it.