AylaKitofNiflheim: Yes, the Sith are awesome. "Join the Dark Side! We have cookies!"

DarkAngel620: Wow, your right! I guess Qui-gon was smarter than we give him credit.

TNTkitten: Yes, I am sticking with the ten chapter plan. I made a promise early on, and it's one I intend to keep...ok, so maybe its because I'm running out of material, but that doesn't change anything.

Chocolatam: Ok, I'll update.

Chocolatum: Wait, was that last post by you too? Oh well, you're right, aggressive negotiations do always work, as Grand Moff Tarkan demonstrated when he aggressively negotiated with Alderaan. Of course, everyone hates that example, but it was still cool.

Onimiman: Well, yeah, the Naboo couldn't shoot Maul while he was fighting Qui-gon, but they could have shot him after Qui-gon jumped on the ship. If they had weapons, which they didn't.

Vana Jedi: Obi-won didn't jump down to help Qui-gon because he prefers to fight in air-conditioned places.

Tavae Themisal: I hate those books. They seem to think I have the IQ of a Llama. The correct answer to most of those questions is a) none of the above, or b) grab a shotgun and go to town!

LadySaxaphoneo: Wow, the force is really convenient. "Hold on, the force just told me my mom is being tortured because I completely forgot my promise to rescue her from slavery 10 years ago."

Zelda12343: I keep wondering why they thought it was perfectly acceptable to take a young boy who might be the Chosen One into the middle of a war zone. You can bet Napolean didn't take his kids to watch him fight, which mean Napolean is officially a better parent than Qui-gon. Sad.

Storm Jedi: Thanks.

krizna14: I think Jedi training turns their brains to oatmeal. "You wear the blast shield because your eyes can decieve you. If you wish, you can gouge them out and save yourself a lot of trouble."

D34dP00l: Sounds tragic.

Qui-gon, Obi-won and Anakin stood before the Jedi High Council. Qui-gon was furious that they had refused to train Anakin and brushed away his claim that Obi-wan was ready. However, the Council believed there were more pressing matters than some former slave from an obscure desert planet.

"Now is not the time for this," said Mace Windu. "The Senate is voting for a new Supreme Chancellor. Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure on the Federation, and could widen the confrontation."

"And draw out the Queen's attacker," Yoda said wisely.

"Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of the dark warrior. That is the clue we need to unravel this mystery of the Sith."

"Go with you, I will," said Yoda.

Qui-gon was surprised. "But master Yoda, do you really think that necessary?"

Yoda grunted. "Much danger there is if the attacker is a Sith. To further study this matter, go with the Queen I will. Attack her once, he did. Attack her again he will."

Qui-gon opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. He remembered how much trouble he had with the warrior last time, and Master Yoda would most certainly even the odds. Besides, if it really was a Sith, then Master Yoda's insight would be very helpful.

Mace Window, er, Windu nodded. "Go, and may the Force be with you."

Qui-gon and Obi-won bowed then left.

Outside, Qui-gon and Obin-wan talk about irrelevant stuff, followed by a long, boring conversation with Anakin about something called 'midi-chlorian,' an incredibly important micro-organism that gives life and knowledge of the Force, and the fact that it wasn't mentioned at all in the original trilogy means absolutely nothing. At this point, two taxis pull up carrying Panaka, Amidala, Palpatine, Padme, Jar Jar, Yoda, and a couple of extras.

"Your Higness, it is our pleasure to continue to serve you," said Qui-gon.

"I welcome your help," responded Amidala. "Senator Palpatine fears the Federation means to destroy me."

"I promise you, I will not let that happen," said Qui-gon.

"Leave Skywalker, you must," said Yoda.

Qui-gon turned to Yoda, shocked. "But Master Yoda, he is under my care. He has nowhere else to go."

Yoda grunted. "Watched over, he will be. Dangerous it would be for him to come. Die he might."

Qui-gon sighed. Why did Yoda always have to be right? "Alright."

Anakin had tears in his eyes. "But Master Qui-gon…"

"Yoda is right. It is far too dangerous for you to come along. We will return soon, and then your fate will be decided."

Anakin started to cry, at which point he was led away by an extra. Everyone else boarded the ship.

"Wesa goen home!" squealed Jar Jar.

Meanwhile, on Naboo, a hologram of the not-quite-yet-Emperor appeared to the Viceroy. "The Queen is on her way to you. I regret she is of no further use to us. When she gets there, destroy her."

Nute nodded. "Yes, my Lord."

"Viceroy, is the planet secure?"

"Yes my Lord, we have complete control of the planet now."

"Good. I will see to it that in the Senate, things stay the way they are. I am sending Darth Maul to join you. He will deal with the Jedi."

"Yes, my Lord," said Nute. To his credit, he waited until after the Hologram faded before he fainted.

"A Sith Lord with us?!" asked Rune rhetorically, unaware that his boss had just passed out.

Meanwhile, on the Queen's ship, the Queen was holding a meeting.

"The moment we land the Federation will arrest you and force you to sign the treaty," said Panaka.

"I agree," said Qui-gon. "I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish by this."

"I'm going to take back what is ours," said Amidala.

"Too few of us, there are. Fight a war, we can not," replied Yoda.

The Queen turned to the most useless person there. "Jar Jar Binks," she said.

Jar Jar, who had just learned not to stick his tongue in the electrical outlet, turned to the Queen. "Mesa, Your Highness?"

"Yes. I need your help."

The Cruiser landed on Naboo, completely undetected in spite of the fact that it had absolutely no cloaking devices or any way to stay off sensors. Jar Jar was on his way to the Gungan City.

"Jar Jar is on his way to the Gungan City, Master," said Obi-wan.

"Good," said Qui-gon.

"Do you think the Queen's plan will work?" ask Obi-wan.

"When a common foe there is, even the oldest enemies unite," said Yoda. "Help us the Gungans will."

Jar Jar arrived in the Gungan City, apparently oblivious that if anyone was there, they would kill him. Fortunately for him, nobody was there, so he returned to the surface.

"Darsa nobody dare."

"They must have been attacked by the Trade Federation," said Qui-gon insightfully.

"Do you think they were taken to camps?" asked Obi-wan.

"More likely they were wiped out," said Panaka.

Jar Jar pointed a finger at Panaka. "Mesa no tink so."

"Do you know where they are?" asked Qui-gon.

"When in trouble, Gungans go to sacred place. Mesa show you, come on, mesa show you."

Our company of heroes went to the gungans, and after a boring talk, some mind tricks by Yoda, and a plot twist that did not affect the story whatsoever, the Gungans agreed to show that the Naboo and Gungans were equal by immediately doing exactly what the Naboo told them.

(Due to my laziness, I'm just going to skip forward to the interesting part.)

Our heroes were running toward the door, when it opened, slowly and dramatically, to reveal a cloaked dude with horns on his head and a passion for tattoos. The group stopped short, apparently not realizing they could shoot him right now while he was unarmed.

"Handle him, I will," said Yoda. He then turned to Qui-gon. "Protect the Queen, you must." Qui-gon bowed, then he and Obi-wan followed the Queen the long way, casually killing a couple destroyer droids as they went. Yoda and Darth Maul then drew their lightsabers, and the battle was on. After several minutes of intense fighting, Darth Maul killed Yoda.

Just kidding! Boy, I wish I could have seen the looks on your faces. No, Yoda very easily defeated Darth Maul, who got dizzy from watching Yoda hop around so much.

Meanwhile, on the plains, the droids easily defeated the Gungans, proving they were superior to the Stormtroopers who got creamed by Ewoks. The droids then decided to execute the head gungans to make things easier. Jar Jar was wishing he hadn't been promoted to general right up until they shot him.

Back with the Queen, the Jedi made things a whole lot easier, fighting to the evil Chinese aliens, er, Viceroy. They then forced the Viceroy to turn off the droids, saving everyone without unnessecarily endangering some 8 year old boy flying into the middle of the control ship, coming incredibly close to dying, and uttering the single most annoying line in the Star Wars franchinse ("Now this is pod-racing!" "Moan, whistle!"{Translation: Shup up!}).

I had a hard time fitting this into the story, but I have to say it: if the Naboo really are so peaceful, why the did Amidala use a decoy even before the Federation invaded? She was so paranoid she used a decoy that was about twice her age, but she didn't believe in using guns? You know, except for those guns she kept hidden in the throne. Yeah, totally peaceful.