"Only temporarily," Harvey says for the hundredth time as he opens the door.

"Don't worry," Mike replies. He's not crazy about the idea either. "I'll be out of your hair as soon as they're done fumigating my apartment."

Harvey makes a face. "Cockroaches, anyway? Aren't we paying you enough to afford a decent apartment?"

"There's nothing wrong with my apartment," Mike says. Harvey gives him a look of superiority. "Except for, er, the cockroaches. I sleep on the couch, I suppose?"

"Of course not," Harvey replies.

Mike stares at him. "Harvey," he says, trying to sound as serious as he can, "I know we spend a lot of time together and we're such close friends, but don't you think it's a bit too early to start sleeping together?"

"Very funny," says Harvey, with the same dry tone. "I have no intention of sleeping with you. In fact, even if we did have sex I'd kick you out of bed as soon as we finished."

"You're so cold, I don't think you actually have a heart," Mike says.

"I have a guest room," Harvey says, pointing with his thumb. "Down the corridor."

Mike goes to investigate and finds a room that is about as big as his entire apartment.

"Wow," he says. "I changed my mind, can I just move in with you?"

"No," Harvey yells from the living room, "and wash your hands before dinner!"