Hello again!

I have to let you all know that your reviews have made my week ^_^

I've decided to turn this into a collection of oneshots (mostly because so many of the reviewers were into it ). Some of the oneshots (not many of them) will be related, so they're kind of like mini series. Most of the oneshots, however, will stand alone, hence the term "oneshot".

The second oneshot in this collection is related to the first oneshot entitled "Chapter 61.5 of School's Out Forever"; the second oneshot is called "Chapter 61.75 of School's Out Forever". These two oneshots are now the mini series called "Unwritten Chapters of School's Out Forever", so I guess they're not oneshots anymore

~Enjoy~

Disclaimer: If I owned this series, Max 2/Maya and Dylan would've already left Fang and Max the hell alone.

I've escaped science labs. I've wrestled wolf men. I've beat up creeps who were trying to hurt my friend, Ella. I've roughed up flying wolf men. But there was one thing, one thing, that I, Maximum Ride, couldn't beat. (Although Nudge seemed to never have the same problem).

Knotty hair.

Now I know what you're thinking: Max brushes her hair? WTH! Believe me, this wasn't my idea. Sure, I brushed it a little so I didn't look like I was wearing a mop on my head, but I'd be perfectly fine leaving it mostly un-brushed, a habit I picked up from being on the run. (I apologize to you prissies out there who think packing my mutant run-away bag with hair care products is more important than packing it with, oh, I don't know, food?). However, Anne wasn't going to let me walk around with my hair un-brushed, and frankly, I was too tired to argue with her.

So there I was, at my wits end, trying to figure out how a fine toothed comb was going to remove Knotzilla (the name I affectionately called the gigundo knot near the base of my neck). Don't get me wrong, those scientists who injected me with super human/avian DNA didn't forget to give me super human strength, but it seemed like all of my tugging seemed to have been doing absolutely nothing. I sighed in frustration and let the comb fall to the floor of the bathroom, the peaceful alternative to breaking it in half, as I had wanted to.

Dang, this is hard. You'd think that removing knots would be easier with wet hair, but with my lack of expertise, it didn't make much of a difference. Maybe the fact that I'd hardly brushed my hair before taking my shower didn't help either.

Anne walked past the open bathroom door and saw my distressed state. "Max, do you need help?" I couldn't quite tell if she was talking about my knot situation or me loosing whatever speckle of sanity that I had left.

I looked at her with a slight glare. "Yeah. Do you have the Bird Kid Therapist on speed dial?" I asked dryly.

She looked at me, confused, then decided to just brush my comment off. Huh. I guess she's not used to my oh-so-witty comments. Oh well; she'd just have to learn. Anne quietly picked up the discarded comb and began running it through my hair. I took a few minuets, along with quite a few winces and the temptation to knock Anne's teeth out, but Knotzilla was eventually terminated. When she was finished I ran a few fingers through my knotless hair, the lack of knots bringing a grin to my face. "Ladies and gentleman, Knotzilla has left the building," I said, half to myself.

Anne raises an eyebrow but decided not to question me. Well wasn't she a quick learner? She put the comb into the medicine cabinet and turned to walk out. She stopped suddenly and turned back to me. "Max? Could you do me a favor and take your math homework off the dining room table before you go to bed?"

I opened my mouth, about to tell her that I NEVER do ANY favors for ANYBODY, but closed it and just nodded in response. She gave me a sweet smile and said a quick goodnight before disappearing out the bathroom door. When she was gone, I looked in the mirror, sighing in relief when Eraser Max was nowhere to be seen. I left the bathroom and made my way to the dining room to retrieve my homework, or as I called it, the grown up's way to make Max's head explode into little tiny bits.

I passed by a large shadow in the hallway before I got to the table, double checking to make sure that it was uninhabited. I swept my homework into my hands and prepared to turn around and walk back into the hallway when I heard a slight shuffling noise. I stiffened, trying to remember if the large shadow I passed in the hallway was Eraser-shaped. I tucked my homework under my arm and stood still as a stone, my eyes searching around for any sign of Ari and his goons.

Crunch. The small noise behind me made my heart leap. I turned slowly around, my muscles preparing for a fight. I had enough time to see the large shadow move a bit, then to see something flying at my face. It hit my head with a crack, but left no mark, being that the "something" flying at my face was loose leaf paper. The shadow moved again, and I saw a flash of white as it smiled.

"Fang, I swear to every deity on Earth, if you ever freak me out like that again, I will shave your head and give your hair to small animals to use as a coat." 'Cause it's so unlike me to ever think of a normal punishment.

Fang's grin grew at my comment and he stepped out of the darkness. "I don't think the small animals would trust you; you've eaten too many of their cousins."

I grimaced, the thought of eating that burnt desert rat meat again making my stomach churn. I walked past him, being sure to bump my shoulder against him. "Go buy a life at Walmart."

He followed me down the hallway and quickly overtook me, making sure to stand in front of me and block my path. "Can't; I spent all my money bribing Anne so she wouldn't have you thrown in the loony bin."

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him out of my way and he didn't try to stop me. I pretended to be annoyed by his comment, but couldn't stop myself from chuckling. I felt his gaze on my back as I made my way to my room.

"G'night, Max," he said, his voice so smooth and truly genuine that it made me shiver and filled me with an unnamable emotion.

"Throw any more paper at me and it won't be such a good night for you," I responded as I walked into my room, not missing his light, uniquely Fang-like chuckle as he made his way to the opposite end of the hallway to his room.

I braided my damp hair before settling into my bed. I laid with my hands behind my head, trying to be tired but being completely awake and alert. Giving up on sleep and being uncomfortable with the fact that my wings were sandwiched between me and my bed, I rolled over onto my side. I couldn't get that weird, unnamed emotion out of my gut. It was just sitting there, boiling up, getting bigger by the second.

You know what that feeling is, Max.

Oh? Look who's here! Hello there Voice. Dropping some "helpful" knowledge on me again?

I'm always here to help you Max, that is, if you're willing to listen.

I rolled my eyes, then realized that the Voice couldn't see me. Well, Voice, you don't exactly give me the option of not listening.

Nothing.

Oh well, I'll just lay here and ponder my strange, hormonal, mutant teenage bird-girl life.

Crrreeeeaaaakk. My eyes darted to the source of the noise, seeing my bedroom door slightly ajar. I rolled back over, content with the thought that I'd been hearing things.

Wait...I closed my door before going to bed. All of the nerves in my body snapped into kick-butt mode. I rolled back toward the door as silently as possible to see it still about six inches open. I quietly removed my covers and got out of bed, ready to break the intruder's snout, that is, if it was even an Eraser. I bent my knees and curled my fists, ready to release a whole crate full of canned whoop-ass.

A dark head appeared through the crack, then arms, then a torso, then legs. The intruder barely had time to watch the hallway behind him as he shut the door before I was upon him.

He was a scrappy sucker, I gave him that much. But then again, I'm a bloodthirsty adolescent mutant girl, so he never had much of a chance.

He wasn't insanely hairy, so maybe I'd attacked him before he could morph. He could also have been something completely different from an eraser, but I didn't want to open that barrel of endless possibilities. There was no end to what kind of mutant this baddie could have been.

He fought back immediately, trying his best to push me off me. I pushed him down with both of my hands and feet before head butting him for good measure. His grip on me released enough for me to hold him down with even more force. I see his head fall back and hear the thump as it hits the floor.

"Geez," he muttered, trying to pull his hand from me to rub his head. "Whatever happened to the element of surprise?"

I felt my eyes widen about thirty times their normal size. Why did he, I mean what's wrong with him?

"Fang?" I gave him my you-are-so-beyond-dead glare and made sure to make my face form my angriest scowl.

He opened his mouth, probably to give me a snide retort. I raised my fist and prepared to smash it down so I can absorb it, but I was interrupted by the lights of my room flashing on and the door opening as far as it could.

"Hey Max, I was wondering-" Anne stops mid-sentence and looked me and Fang over a few times.

What is actually going on: I'm about to kill Fang for trying to go all sneak attack on me.

What Anne sees: Max and Fang are two teenagers, alone, in the dark, and are practically on top of each other.

"What is going on in here?" Anne sounded so much like a real mom that I wanted to knock her lights out right after I was done with Fang.

I heard a slight shuffling noise behind her before a small black nose pushes its way into my room, followed by a small black and brown body. Well, crap.

"Seriously." Total sat down and started to scratch himself behind his ear. "C'mon guys, it isn't even Spring yet."

I saw Anne's eyes widen as she looked between us and Total. I heard Fang's airy chuckle beneath me. I sighed.

I wonder what roasted mutant dog tastes like...

Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, and please keep them coming! It's nice to know that I touched all of your funny bones ^_^

-Katiebunchesofoats