Chapter Nineteen

She left me there alone. She left me standing there feeling hopeless. How Edward could be winning her over still if he isn't even here. How could she still feel so strongly about him and still want to be with him even after he left her. I thought once I gave her the options between being with me or leaving to go to him I thought she would immediately make a choice but she didn't. I thought that was a good sign, but just by the way things played out just now, I'm not so sure anymore. I can't believe she completely took Renesme side. I know she had to see or at least hear what Jacob and Renesme was about to do.

I wanted to rip Jacob's throat out. I really hope those two aren't having sex, Renesme is just too young to be involved in a relationship like that. I went and sat down on the boulder next to the creek. I just sat there in silence thinking about all the events that has passed by over the last few days. Edward is gone and so is Alice. I deeply hurt Emmett and the rest of the coven. What was all this for? Obviously Bella doesn't want to be with me so what was all of this for? What was hurting everyone in the family for? What to do now? If I leave now that would definitely make Bella's decision easy. I should just let her go right?

If I really loved her and wanted the best for her I should just let her go, stop this unnecessary fighting because I wasn't going to win it.

"Jasper is that you?" I turned around and saw Emmett looking back at me.

"What's up man?" I said lowly.

"I thought I smelled you out here." He said sitting next to me.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked looking out at the creek.

"I'm really not sure, I just had to get away from the house." He said sounding tired.

"I'm sorry Emmett, I know how much you care about this family and how badly you wanted us all to stay together." I said softly. This was very uncomfortable for me, the last thing I need is for Emmett to start asking questions.

"What's done is done. There's no need to talk about it now." He said brushing it off. That made me feel better. I wish I knew what was going on in his head right now, the kinds of things he's probably saying. For a while we just sat there in silence staring off into the creek.

"I gave Bella a choice." I said softly breaking the silence.

"What do you mean a choice?" He asked.

"I know where Edward ran off to. He's in Brazil at Isle Esme. I gave Bella two tickets for her and Renesme. I told her if she really wanted to go make things right with Edward then she should leave and go to him and take Renesme with her."

"But you also gave her the option of staying here with you didn't you?" Emmett added.

"Yes I did. I thought that her decision was going to be easy, I thought if she easily would have decided to just leave to go to Edward then I knew that my efforts would be useless and that I should just let her go and stop pursing her but-" I looked up at the dark sky.

"But what?" Emmett asked.

"But she's still here. If she truly didn't feel anything for me at all don't you think she would just instantly left with Renesme to go to Edward? But she didn't she's still here. She has to the end of this week to make a decision because that's when those plane tickets expire, but I honestly don't know if she will go or not." I said. I can't believe that I was talking about this with Emmett.

"You're right. If she didn't feel anything for you she would have just left for Edward but she didn't huh?" He sighed. I guess he finally realized that there was no more fighting this. This family is going to be forever shaken up and I think he's finally accepted that.

"I really do love her Emmett. I want to be with her and with you all disagreeing so much about this just makes me want to be with her more. I want to be happy Emmett and I want what's best for me. I know that sounds selfish but it's true." I said.

"I understand. But I hope you understand that Edward is not going to let her go without a fight. This may ultimately tear this family apart. I just want everyone to be happy." He said sounding so sad. I'm sorry Emmett, I know how much family means to you. You didn't have much of a family before we found you and I'm so sorry that I'm breaking up the one family that means so much to you.

"I think I'm going to get going, I got a lot of thinking to do." I said getting up.

"Yeah I'm going to go check on Rose, she's not doing so well right now." He said getting up too.

"I wish I could talk to her but I know she would hate to see me right now." I said looking down.

"Don't worry, she will calm down soon and once she does I'm sure she will listen to what you got to say, at least I will make her." He said punching my arm playfully. I smiled at him.

"Thank you brother." I said softly. He smiled so brightly to hear me call him that.

"No problem." He simply said with that smile still on his face and then he was gone. I chuckled a little as I walked off into the forest.

BPOV

"Who the hell does he think he is?" I heard Renesme as I was walking back into the cottage.

"He has no right to talk to me like that, he's not my father." She said angrily.

"Nes just calm down please." Jacob was trying to reason with her.

"Renesme, I understand that you are upset but you will not use that kind of language in this house do you understand me?" I said firmly. She looked like she wanted to say more but she held her tongue.

"So is it true?" Of course I heard everything that was said between her and Jasper. Jasper obviously caught them in the act of doing something that they both had no business doing. Especially at that place.

"Is what true?" She asked harshly.

"Don't play games with me Renesme." I said

"I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbled. She tensed up and looked really uncomfortable like she wanted to change the subject. She gave me my answer just by the way she acted. I turned to look at Jacob and he too looked really uncomfortable. Dear God, why did any of this happen? I took a huge breath trying to calm myself down.

"Renesme, did you and Jacob have sex?" I asked just coming straight out with the question. She bit her lip and looked down ashamed.

"Damnit." I hissed. How could she; and Jacob promised that he wasn't interested in her that way! I should have listened to Edward. Damn it all.

"What the hell! Are you two serious! Jacob you lied to us! What happened to you agreeing that she wasn't ready for something like that?" I yelled at him. I was beyond furious.

"I'm sorry Bella, I couldn't help myself." He whispered.

"You lied to Edward and I. Was that all an act to make us trust you? You just got your banishment lifted and you go do something like this? Especially when Edward isn't even here? You violated our trust. I trusted you to be alone here with her to protect her not to have sex with her!" I said.

"You're talking to me about violating trust? Are you serious Bella?" He spat back harshly. That stung a little. Jacob is not the one to say things just to hurt you purposely.

"We're not talking about me and my situation. We are talking about you two." I replied sighing. I'm too tired for this.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I know what we did was wrong. We did violate you and daddy's trust and there aren't enough words to express how sorry I'am." Renesme spoke up. Jacob and I both looked at her shocked. Renesme has been acting like such a mouthy brat that neither of us were expecting her to say something like that. I didn't know how to reply.

"You two just leave, we will deal with this later I don't have the energy to do this right now." I said sitting down on the couch. I closed my eyes as I heard them walk off to the Renesme's bedroom. I didn't hear the door closed and they would be wise to not close it right now. I didn't know how to deal with this without Edward. That's when I finally realized how much of a team we were. I sighed.

Maybe I should just pack our bags up and Renesme and I leave just leave to be with Edward. I would have her away from Jacob and I would be away from Jasper. Then things would go back to normal. I tried to assure myself that but I don't think it would be that easy. It wouldn't be easy shaking these feelings I still harbor for Jasper off. Every time I think about what we did, of course I feel bad because a lot of people got hurt but everything inside of me just tingles and burns for his touch again. To feel him all over me and inside of me. Thinking about it now made me ache down there.

"Stop it Bella." I whispered to myself. I sighed again. What to do!

JPOV (Jacob)

I heard the front door open and close. I wonder where Bella is going. I looked up at Renesme and she was pacing back and forth. She was so nervous and I knew exactly what she was nervous about. I know that Bella is upset which she has every right to be. But it's not like we planned for this to happen it just did.

"Renesme would you stop pacing back and forth like that. You're making me nervous." I said to her.

"I can't help it, we're in deep shit Jacob." She said sounding panic.

"No we're not. Do you honestly believe that Bella has any right to be mad at us?" I asked her brushing it off. I did feel a little bad that I violated her trust when I promised her that nothing like that would happen with me Renesme and I for a long time.

"It's not her that I'm worried about. It's my dad! What if he tries to keep us apart again! He's going to die when he find this out!" She said biting at her nails. She always do that when she's nervous.

"Renesme now is not the time to be freaking out. Your dad is gone right now so the only way he could find out about any of this is if Bella calls him and tell him. But do you honestly believe that Edward wants to hear from her right now?" Knowing him he probably got his cellphone turned off too so that he couldn't be bothered by no one. She was still pacing back and forth throughout the room.

"And when he does find out I will take full responsibility." I said with a clear voice. I want her to know that I would do anything for her.

"He's never going to let us see each other again." She said softly. The waterworks was coming, I could see it all over face.

"Renesme, it's going to be okay. We will find a way, even if it kills me he's never going to keep me away from you. Not again." I said getting up to hold her. She trembled with tears she was clearly afraid and Edward doesn't even know anything yet. I know he's going to be beyond pissed once he finds out. He nearly killed me over a little kiss so I can only imagine how he's going to react once he find out what we did. I didn't want to think about it anymore right now I just want to comfort Renesme and ease all her fears.

BPOV

What the hell am I doing here? I don't know how I did but I managed to end up in front of Jasper's apartment door. Everything in me told me to just turn around and leave but my body wouldn't let me.

"Shit." I cursed softly as I knocked on the door and it didn't take him long to answer it.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"I honestly don't know, can I come in?" I asked looking down. He stepped aside and opened the door wider so that I could walk in. His place was so freaking nice, it made me wondered who decorated all of this for him. I sat down on the couch and he followed behind me. For what felt like hours we just sat there in silence. Both of us had so much to say but couldn't say anything. The wave of nervousness I was feeling suddenly turned into a sea of calmness when I looked over at Jasper.

"I'm sorry but you are making me extremely uneasy." He admitted.

"Oh I'm sorry about that." I said clearing my throat.

"Do I still make you so nervous?" He smiled.

"No." I lied.

"Liar, but that's okay I like that I do." He chuckled. Did he think that this was a game? Was me contemplating just ripping mine and his clothes off to do the unthinkable with him again was funny? I was starting to get annoyed with him.

"I don't know why I came here but it was a mistake." I said standing up.

"Bella sit down." He said. His voice was smooth and commanding. I could feel the ache starting to rise down there in my pants.

"No really I need to go." I said shaking off those feelings.

"I said sit down." He said firmly. I looked at him bewildered and confused he had so much hunger and passion in his eyes that it made me quiver and I sat back down like he told me to, not even realizing that I've done so.

"Now why did you come here? You obviously had something you wanted to talk about." He said still staring at me with those eyes.

"Well, I just- uh wanted to say sorry for the way I handled things with you and Renesme earlier." I was having a hard time finding my words. The way he's staring at me is making me forget about everything in the world and just wanting to feel him inside of me, wanting his hands all over me.

"So it's true huh? Jacob and Renesme are having sex." He said. I nodded in confirmation.

"Man Edward isn't going to be too happy about that." He said softly.

"You're right he's not. He's going to be furious once he finds out." I said dazedly as the ache started turning into a burning sensation. What the hell is going on with me right now?

"You're horny right now aren't you?" He asked watching me intently.

"No I'm not." I said looking down.

"Bella you're lying to me again." He said moving closer. He gently put a hand on my knee and starting running it up and down my thigh sliding it towards my inner thigh down to the place where I was aching so bad that it hurt. I gasped and bit my lip.

"You're so beautiful when you do that." He whispered. He was so closed to my face that our lips almost touched. I couldn't say anything, I just wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to make me forget all of my problems and make all my issues melt away.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" His hands was now touching the aching pain, he rubbed it softly through my jeans and I could feel myself getting wet with the circular motion he was doing. I can't resist him anymore. I nodded my head yes to his question. I wanted to taste him.

"Say you want me to kiss you." He whispered as he started rubbing harder. I bit my lip harder to keep from crying out. The way he's touching me right now felt so amazing, I hungered for more. I wanted more of this, more of him.

"Tell me!" He demanded.

"I want you to kiss me." I whispered.

"Say it louder." He said.

"I want you to kiss me." I said a little bit louder.

"Louder Bella!" He commanded.

"I want you to fucking kiss m-" he stopped me midsentence and kissed me so passionately and with so much hunger. He didn't waste his time sliding his tongue in my mouth. Before I knew it I was sliding onto his lap with his help; just kissing him, our bodies pressed against each other and his hands explored all over me. He broke away from our kiss and started kissing down my neck ripping my shirt completely off. It also didn't take him long to unhook my bra and also throw it next to my ravaged shirt pieces.

"Tell me you want me." He held my hands behind my back so that I couldn't touch myself as I sat his lap. I felt exposed just sitting on him with my swollen nipples staring right at him. They needed attention so bad and I felt like I was going to explode if he didn't bite them. I whimpered in slight pain.

"Tell me now Bella." He said and then he softly and easily licked at my aching nipples. I cried out. He was teasing me, I loved it but I also hated it too.

"I want you." I whispered. He bit on my nipple harder.

"I want you." I cried out in pain that sent me in a world of lust and hunger. He still held my hands behind my back with one hand while the other hand started to unbutton my pants, he quickly found his ways to my wet pussy. My breathing quickened as he softly caressed my throbbing clit. It ached so much that it hurt so bad. He slid a hand down my panties and quickly slid a finger inside of me.

"Listen to how wet you are Bella." He said as if the gushing sound of my pussy turned him on even more. I could feel his hard cock stabbing at my thigh. He stuck another finger inside of me. He pumped those fingers harder thrusting them deeper inside of me. All I could do was just cry out and it felt like I was getting lost in a world of pleasure. He slowly slid his fingers out of me and sucked them clean.

"You taste just as good as I remembered." He said with a smile. I could feel my face getting hot with embarrassment. He laid me down on that couch and slid my pants down along with my panties. He had me fully naked down there and I felt so exposed. For a minute he just stared at me with a look of excitement and admiration. He leaned down hovering over my pussy and took a deep breath. Was he smelling me?

"You smell so beautiful, and so tasty." His voice was raspy and low and it was so sexy I couldn't help but get turned on even more. He slowly trailed his tongue up and down my clit slowly and it made me writhe in pleasure. I couldn't keep still.

"Stay still darling." He said grabbing my hips holding me still as he stuck his tongue inside of me, sucking on my pussy.

"Oh my gosh!" I gasped. I could feel him smiling as he continued to devour me. I was completely gone now. Nothing else matter to me at this moment but Jasper. I haven't felt like this in so long it's almost addicting. I felt myself getting ready to cum as he sucked harder.

"Jasper I'm going to cum" I breathed out. Then he suddenly stopped. I looked at him disappointed. He smiled.

"Not yet darling." He whispered roughly.

"I want us to cum together, now I want to feel your mouth on me." He said unbuttoning his pants and he also pulled everything he had on down. He was so big I just couldn't believe it. He looked at me impatiently. I grabbed all of him in my hand and slowly went up and down. His breathing quickened.

"Don't tease me Bella." He growled. I looked up at him and his eyes were so serious so passionate. I licked his tip and slowly put all of him inside of my mouth. I could feel him in the back of my throat and gaged a little. He was so big and so thick. He grabbed my head and started fucking my mouth.

"Breathe through your nose Bella." He groaned. He really was enjoying this. I sucked harder and faster while massaging his balls.

"Damn Bella." He moaned. His cock jerked in my mouth and I could taste the saltiness of his cum. That didn't take long. He pulled out of my mouth and I swallowed his cum whole licking my lips wanting more.

"You're so damn beautiful when you do that. I want to feel you, I want to hear you scream my name as you cum. I want to send you into a world of pleasure. I just want you to make you feel good." He growled sexily.

"Make me feel good Jasper, I want you to make me feel good." I said looking up at him. He grabbed me and pulled me up. His lips quickly found mine as he slowly sat me on his lap sliding his cock inside of me. He grabbed my hips and I started thrusting, moving back and forth on his cock. The only sounds were of Jasper and I breathing heavily, he leaned his hand back. I could feel him enhancing my mood. He didn't do this the last time.

"What are you doing?" I panted.

"I told you, I want to make you feel good." He said looking at me. His eyes were dark just looking into them made me want nothing but him. I moved quicker because I could feel myself wanting to cum. He thrust inside of me as I moved and we were moving together, every movement was in sync with each other even our breathing. Before I knew it I was at my climax I arched my back and let it go with a loud groan.

"Oh fuck yes! That's it Bella just cum until you can't anymore." He groaned. For a second I blacked out. The pleasure of releasing that was just way more than I can handle.

"Bella." Jasper panted in a passionate whisper. I looked up at him just trying to catch my breath.

"Let me make love to you." He said hungrily. I bit my lip and nodded slowly. I was trying to get myself together and come back to reality. But the harder I tried the more I got sucked into this world of pleasure. I know that Jasper is messing with my feelings right now. I hate that's he's using his power on me like that but I also didn't want him to stop. He laid me on my back softly. He softly rubbed his cock up and down my throbbing clit.

"Don't tease me Jasper." I whispered.

"I'm sorry my love, I just love making you squirm. It is so sexy." He said in a raspy voice. He slowly slid his cock in me inch by inch. I gasp, I'm still not so used to how big he is. He slowly start to grind inside of me. I could really feel every inch of him as he went deeper inside.

"Oh my gosh!" I cried out. He laid on top of me pinning his chest against my breast and started to pump a little faster. Listening to him groan and moan was driving me crazy. I feel like I could cum just by listening to him enjoy himself.

"I'm going to cum again Bella, you feel so damn good." He groaned.

"Cum inside of me Jasper. I want to feel your hot, warm, cum inside of me." I whispered, if I could blush right now I would. When Edward and I make love we don't talk to each other like Jasper and I do. With a few more pumps I could feel him shoot his warm cum inside of me and it made my body shake. It's indescribable feeling. It's addicting. He cried out and with one final thrust he was done.

JPOV

I laid on top of her after cuming for the last time. Words cannot explain how amazing that felt. Bella really let herself go and let me have all of her. It was amazing and I never wanted this moment to end. We just laid there not saying a word to each other. I was messing with her feelings earlier but now I was going to let her decide her next move. If she stays with me then I think I truly have a shot at fully wining her over. I want that to be genuine and nothing something I influenced.

"This was different from last time." She said softly. I caressed my fingers through her hair.

"Yeah it was." I agreed with her.

"For some reason though, I don't feel the guilt consuming me like I did before. I don't know why." She said. I could feel that she still felt horrible deep down for betraying Edward like this.

"Don't start talking about feeling guilty." I said.

"I can't help it. I cheated on Edward again." She said, she sounded so sad.

"Bella, just stop it!" I said getting up. I was not going to join her pity party.

"Are you getting mad at me right now?" She asked.

"I'm not mad, I'm just annoyed." I admitted.

"Why the hell are you annoyed?" She asked.

"Edward is gone, he left you! How can you still feel bad for doing this when he left you?"

"Edward left because he needed some time to think, he didn't leave to end our marriage. Edward is going to come back." She said looking down.

"How can you count on that?" I asked, I was started to get pissed.

"I just know he will." She wouldn't look at me.

"Why would you still want to be with him when you clearly feel something for me?" I asked, I was trying to keep my cool.

"Jasper, I meant what I said! I'm not leaving my husband for you." She said. Damnit she's so hard to read and so wishy washy. She acts like she wants me but then she doesn't.

"I love you Bella, don't you get that? I love you and I can't allow you to be with Edward anymore." I said.

"Allow me? We are married Jasper! There's nothing you can do to change that! We have a daughter together! And you already know how she feels about us being together! You and I are never going to happen no matter how much I may want it to. Edward is my husband." She said putting her clothes back on.

"Bella please, I love you so much." I said grabbing her hand. She turned to look at me, and she smiled softly. She leaned down and kissed me. That kiss had so much passion and want in it, she kissed me as if she needed me.

"I love you too Jasper." She whispered after our kiss. Is this really happening right now? Did she really just say that? I didn't know what to say. She smiled and put her shoes on.

"I will see you later okay?" She said walking towards the door. I got up and grabbed her and pulled her close while giving her another kiss.

"I'm still fighting for you. I will never stop." I said. She smiled sadly and with that she left. I don't know rather to feel happy or confused. She loves me and obviously wants me but still she refuses me. She still hangs on to Edward. But that bond between them is weakening, and the longer he's away the easier it will be for me take her and have her all to myself. I'm never going to give up on her. Never.