Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world. Because if I did, this bit of fluff would not be on a fan fiction WEBSITE would it?

"There will be no need to talk. Hee-hee!" Umbridge simpered.

Harry turned around to share an eye roll with his best mate Ron Weasly.

"Eyes to your book Mr. Potter! 15 points from Gryffindor for cheating during class." The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor looked like she had just won a life time of chocolate frogs.

Cheating on what? Thought Harry All we ever do in this bloody class is read! But Harry kept his comments to himself. He had long discovered that retaliation just meant long nights of writing in his own blood. Harry settled for glaring at this pathetic excuse for a teacher.

Next to him, his other best friend Hermione gasped. Then she tapped his textbook at the top of the page as if she wanted him to read. Surely she didn't mind if he just glared at Umbridge for the remainder of class? Harry looked down at the title of the chapter he was supposed to be reading. "Werewolves:" the page read, "How to recognize one and the dangers they pose to society."

Harry tensed and balled his fists. His raised his head and glared at Umbridge for the second time in thirty seconds. Harry put on his I'm-so-angry-right-now-I-want-to-stick-you-in-a-room-with-Lockhart-and-a-lot-of-cornish-pixies-glare. Sirius said he got that glare from his mother.

For a moment, Umbridge looked terrified. How could she not be, with a madman wanting her to drop dead? Harry thought darkly. But as quickly as the look fear appeared, it was gone.

"Is there a problem Mr. Potter?" Professor Umbridge inquired sweetly with that freaky toady smile on her face. She was baiting him. She wanted Harry to snap. She had been planning this all day. Harry decided to go Marauder on her butt. He was very grateful for the Marauder-lessons Sirius had given him that summer.

Rule #1:

Be over the top. It makes people feel less intimidated by you.

"Oh no of course not Professor! Why would anything ever be wrong in this wonderful classroom? In fact, I was hoping I could spend more time here! Why, maybe some remedial lessons? Merlin knows I could use the tutoring!"

The entire class was stifling giggles. Even Hermione snorted.

"Y-yes well, I'm sure that could be arranged. I'm frightfully busy though, lots of papers to grade; perhaps a peer tutor? Mrs. Granger? Yes, yes that will do." Umbridge looked quite flustered.

Rule #2

Don't question if something goes your way. It means you're winning.

"Brilliant Professor! But, we'll need some supervision. Maybe... Professor McGonagall? Or wait! Even better! What if we started a peer-tutoring league? Us Gryffindors, we're not so hot at Defense, We could all tutor each other!"

Rule #3

Assemble your allies.

Hermione had caught on by now and said, "Yes! I'll organize it! It'll be brilliant! And I'll even ask some of the Ravenclaws if they want to be tutors! And the other houses can join in!"

Umbridge was looking rather shell-shocked.

Rule #4

Know what the victim wants to hear. And say it.

"And think of the publicity it will get! I can see the headlines now: Hogwarts High Inquisitor starts and supports Peer Tutoring at Hogwarts! Front page news, that is." Harry declared. This was a bit of a lie. This article – if even published – would defiantly be a 3rd or 4th page story. But that was rule #5

Stretch the truth. Occasionally lie upright, but only if absolutely necessary.

Umbridge fell for it. She puffed out her chest and said, "Well, I suppose it is worth a shot." Then proceeded to smile and strut at the front of the classroom.

Now, for Rule #6

Kick 'em when they least expect it.

"But, Professor, I don't think I need to be tutored in this at all. I think Robert Slinkheart is completely wrong and I don't think I need to read this chapter." Harry said with a pleasant smile plastered on his face.

Umbridge's strutting faltered. Her expression morphed to looking incensed. She giggled in a dangerously sweet voice, "Oh yes, Mr. Potter. We all know you have some… tee-hee... personal experience with half-breeds. Hee-hee! Since you claim to already know so much about werewolves, you and the rest of your house shall have a homework essay. Five feet on werewolves and why you believe we need to, hee-hee, destroy the entire species!" The toad-ish smile was back.

Umbridge had shocked the entire class into silence for exactly three seconds. Then, everyone burst into outraged yelling.

"THAT'S RUBBISH!" bellowed Dean Thomas.

"WEREWOLVES ARE PEOPLE TOO!" screamed Pavarti Patil.

"Professor Lupin was the BEST defense teacher we've ever had!" cried Lavender Brown.

"Run back to the sodding Ministry you bloody toad!" shouted someone brave. Harry suspected Ron.

"FIVE FEET!" moaned Neville Longbottom.

Harry turned to Hermione. "Use the Galleons, Once I sit down, send everyone a message: We're writing essays tonight," Harry whispered with a smirk and a wink.

Hermione was amazingly confused but hissed back, "Got it!" and set to work on her coin.

Harry sat and waited for Hermione to finish the spell. As he looked around the room, he couldn't help but smirk. It really was quite comical. Umbridge was purple in the face, yelling for quiet. All of Harry's housemates were screaming profanities and death wishes at Umbridge.

Hermione nudged him. Harry took it as his cue. He stood up, pulled out his chair and used it to climb up onto the desk. Hermione hissed at him "GET DOWN HARRY!" But he ignored her.

Because of rule #7

Let them think they've won.

"Oi!" Harry screamed. "EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP!"

Everybody in the classroom turned to look at me. "Professor Umbridge," Harry said, "Please excuse my house's behavior. This essay seems like a reasonable request and I humbly request you forgive my friends' and my misbehavior." Behind my back, Harry pulled out his Galleon because the rest of the class was looking at him like he had sprouted horns. "I also promise to ensure that my housemates complete their essays and have them on your desk by tomorrow morning." He gave Umbridge a little bow and sat down.

Hermione whispered something that Harry could barely hear. Umbridge looked shell-shocked, again.

"V-v-very well. Very well. C-c-l-ass d-dismissed." She stuttered and fled to her office. Only fifteen minutes had passed since the lesson began.

The Gryffindors filed out and once in the hallway, Harry spoke.

"Alright guys, I know I sounded insane back there, but I'll explain everything tonight. 6:00, Room of Requirement. I'll let everyone know. And then, we'll give her hell. For Professor Lupin!"

A.N. Ok guys, Elizabeth here, had a stroke of inspiration and Remus love! OOTP makes me really mad because Harry is so angry all the time. I decided to give him a little extra Marauder laughter in his day. I made a few edits but not many. I'm ight be persuaded to continue the story…. Much love to all my avid readers! Reviews are life!