HELLO!

Okay, first and foremost, I would like to apologise, like seriously seriously apologise for my very very super super late update! But I really hope you guys can forgive me because I have been really busy, and I have just been through 6 weeks of non-stop exams... First it was Math, Chemistry and History all on one day; 2 weeks later I had English, Chinese and Biology, then I had 2 projects, one History and one Social Studies each 20% counting towards my final grades for this semester due the next week, and I had a French exam that Friday. Another 2 weeks later, which was just this Monday, I had Physics, which was actually pushed forward from Wednesday (which is today actually), and I don't even know if it should be good or bad. Currently, I have 2 English projects, 1 Math project, and 1 Physics project waiting for me to complete, 3 of them by this term which is in a month's time, and I have hardly started on any of them. My French is just... hanging there, actually, more like dying, and we have 1 more Chinese project coming up which would be due after the June holidays, but...

Yeah, I'm so sorry to bore you all with my very crazy description of my workload, but I just hope that none of you are mad at me or anything... I have been PM-ing my FFS, not very frequently though ARGH, and every single time I promise them I would finish another chapter and whatnot, but this 2 months have really been impossible... A lot of my friends are actually sick from the workload, and add that to me being an I/C of a committee for my annual Guides campfire, things haven't been really going well... I took a total of one week to finish the chapter below, and honestly? I'm happy with the ending, but it's like one of the shortest and suckiest chapters so far, and I'm really really sorry. Other than saying this here, I don't know how else to apologise because I would like to promise that I would be uploading one chapter every week, but I'm not very sure I can. I'm really sorry but the only thing I can promise you is that I will try my best, my absolute best to continue writing because it's too much a part of me that it's impossible for me to give it up.

And of course, thanks to all of you readers, especially my fanfic sisters Molly, Karen, and Katie (I am so sorry for ignoring your messages and stories and not reviewing and MIA-ing I really REALLY am and I hope you guys are doing well which I think y'all are given the influx of stories y'all have been writing)! Really, I really have no idea how to express my apology and my gratitude towards all of you except that I hope none of you are mad at me because yeah, I just bet I could have updated WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY earlier if I had better time management skills... I would like to continue with this intro but it's just gonna be sorry and thanks again, so yeah I should stop.

But don't worry, I'll be fine (: And anyway, my story is definitely not the best, y'all want better stories y'all should go read Molly (mozzi-girl) or Katie (maltararox21) or Karen (MaltaraFluff647)'s stories, though you'd have probably known this by now. And not just them, anyone else's, so I just hope y'all are not too sad or mad at me for not updating as frequently as I should... I will definitely try my best, definitely.

Okay and finally review replies!

Molly (mozzi-girl)-

Thanks for encouraging me... but as I mentioned in the PM, I won't be going on with it, because yeah... (: Anyway, I have been following your stories and they are awesome okay! Keep writing girl love you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo P.S. This chapter is for you!

The Sarcastic Polar Bear-

Haha yup! There goes the jerk... :D

Katie (maltararox21)-

Thanks sweetie! Thank you so so so much (': And love you too 3 Dedicating this chapter to you (: For your reviews and PMs and love and encouragement and everything.

Just a Beatles Girl-

THANK YOU! By the way, are you the one following me on Tumblr? (;

Darkness. Reaper-

Thank you so much for your review! But sad to say, I won't be doing a rated scene because it's a little too much for me to handle... Thanks for your encouragement though and sorry to turn you down... But anyway I hope you'll like this chapter because... yeah you'll know why (: This one is for you :D

Bonnie Salvatore-

Hey! So sorry to turn you down and tell you that I won't be doing a rated scene because as of now, it's a little beyond me... I might try it one day though! :D Thanks so much for your review so far and I hope you'll still continue reading my story (: Oh, sorry if the information was a bit vague, but Mal did actually call someone to take him away HAHA sorry that part is so ambiguous.

Karen (MaltaraFluff647)-

KAREN! Oh. My. God. You're the one I feel the most guilty towards because I feel like I'm always ignoring you! OMG I am so so so so so so so so sooooooooo sorry I will try my best to reply to you in the future but please don't be mad or think I'm ignoring you I'm not it's just hard to find time to do everything I am SOOOOOOOO extremely sorry! )): I LOVE YOU.

the one and only -A

Thank you very much for your review and I'm glad to know that you're liking this story as much as I liked writing it (: THANKS SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN! Sad to say I won't be writing the rated scene after all... but thanks so much for your comment ((:

jasminetheawesome

WOMAN. SERIOUSLY? Yes I don't know how to write a rated scene 'cause I'm clean and innocent like that. Aww but thanks 3 AND YES I'M GOING TO DO MY SOCIAL STUDIES BECAUSE I'M A GOOD STUDENT WHO ACTUALLY DOES HER HOMEWORK. -ahem-

Yeah that's it! Ignore the last review reply it's to my good friend who's the total opposite of me BAHAHAHAHAHA oh but she's a loyal Cause Of Death fan as well so... (: Yeah she plays it on my phone HAHAHAHHA. Okay very lengthy intro, sorry again! ):

I know I probably don't really deserve it, but please review. (: THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL OF YOU really. Oh and just in case any of you wants to, you can follow me on Twitter, my name is chocorangel, but please identify yourself so that I can follow back! Also, you can follow me on Tumblr as well, it's just kokokookiekreme (: But identify yourself too as well so that I can follow back! Yup that's it (: But a slight warning though, my Twitter is a really... random place, I'm pretty active on Twitter so I tweet the most randomest stuff and I rant there as well, so beware of spam HAHAHAHA. And my Tumblr is just, it's just all pictures mostly The Hunger Games gifs and stuff like that, so yeah. (: You can follow only if you want to.

P.S. I know my paragraphs are really long, and it's really hard to read, and I'm really sorry! If it helps, read it in the 1/2 style (the setting is on the upper right-hand corner) it's easier! Sorry!
P.P.S I really really hate spelling, grammar, punctuation, and typography errors. So please PLEASE let me know if you find any! :D
P.P.P.S. I do not own Cause of Death or any of the characters. However, the story line is my work, so please no ripping! (:

MAL gathered Natara in his arms, trying to calm the wild beating in his heart, trying to catch enough breath, trying to reassure Natara that that was the best sex he had in ages. Even a few days ago, the one-night stand, no-strings-attached sex was under the influence of a lot of booze and a very attractive woman, and just to quell a hunger he had after four long days of non-stop thinking and squeezing of his brain juices; but what he just had with Natara was bliss beyond bliss. Something he could not describe, but was just there. He swore he wanted to make it good for her, but seeing her just laying there unsure and nervous, but coy and brave at the same time, he lost it.

He was aware of Natara's quietness, something she rarely is. He stroked her now-tousled hair, threading his fingers through the silky soft strands and rubbing it between his fingers.
"…Natara? You okay?" Natara gave the briefest of nods and Mal felt increasingly insecure by the second. He knew it, he should have been slower, gentler, more careful, something. He was a jerk. "Natara… Oh god, I'm so sorry if I hurt you, don't ignore me please?" Mal was starting to panic. He frantically just kept stroking Natara's hair, hoping against hope he had not hurt her too much. He did not even know what went wrong, or rather a single inkling what could have went wrong, to him, what had just happened was out of this world.

Something special, something sacred, and something he would probably keep in his heart and not share it with anybody else. Natara had just ruined him for all other women, and now he was determined to chase after her with everything he got. If he was falling head over heels for her, he sure as well was not going to do it alone. He tried again. "Natara, did I hurt you? Talk to me honey."

Silence. Then…

"No Mal, you didn't. It was great. The sex was great."

And finally, finally, Natara turned and looked at him.

NATARA was ashamed of herself. She knew that her attraction towards Mal was undeniable, and they would eventually end up here at some point, plus these few days he was being awfully sweet and kind and caring and the list could go on…, but the bottom line was, she had not expected herself to be so easy and just go at it like her friends did in high school. If there was one thing Natara learnt from majoring in psychology and being a strong believer in happily-ever-after in high school and watching romantic comedies while all her friends were partying, it was that couples that had a purely sexual relationship could never keep it sexual. This would change everything, and she still wanted to be Mal's friend, Mal's best friend. Only problem was, she was not sure her heart could handle just being in the friend zone anymore, because just ten minutes ago, she felt that wild flutter of her heart, the fogging of her mind, the erratic cannot-breathe-feeling, and she knew it had nothing to do with her sudden rush of hormones. Just right before it ended, Natara recognized it as love. She was in love. In love with the guy who was going to her ex-partner. Very much in love with the guy who was her partner for three years, who stuck with her through work and who supported her personal messes and screw-ups.

So where do they go from here? If Mal thought they were still going to be friends, she… "I'm sorry Mal, uh, I'm going to pee." And with that she scrambled out of bed, practically ran into her adjoining bathroom and shut the door. She sat at the edge of her tub, her mind whirling and going in circles until she could not take it anymore, and decided to just damn it all and take a shower. She scrubbed at herself until her skin was pink and raw, ignoring the knocks coming from her door. She was confused and even though Mal never said anything about how their relationship was going to develop further, Natara knew she was not an idiot to believe that they could be anything more. First off, as she had told herself countless times, Mal was her colleague. Her partner. And even if they were not going to be partners anymore, it was still wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Secondly, she had never let herself be ruled by passion and desire. And she had worked so hard to ensure that her sex life would always be the one thing she had control of. Because Natara had gone through life's many ups and downs, more downs than ups actually, and it was precisely because she had not much control over her life that she told herself in high school, while all her friends were going to third base with guys and getting hickeys and what not, that she would never put herself in this heck of a position.

But she just did. No scratch that, she was in that position right then. Still was. She turned off the water, and that was when Mal's voice penetrated her senses, "NATARA! Come out here please!" Natara stared at the door in shock. How was she going to face Mal? What was she going to do? She really did not want to have this post-sex conversation, had never had one before. Damn it, this was hard, why did she even–
"Natara! Please, come out and talk to me…"
Shaking with nervousness, Natara hastily put on her robe and opened the door, and Mal moved so fast she almost fell on her wet floor, if not for his arms holding her up. He was grabbing her so tightly it was hard to breathe, his chin on her temple, and he just kept stroking her disgusting wet hair and whispering things that she could not even make out. "Mal…" Mal suddenly grabbed Natara by the shoulders and she could feel annoyance pouring off him in waves. She stared at the ground, afraid to look him in the eyes, afraid of what she might see there. Mal spoke, his voice like gravel, "Natara, why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? Please, don't scare me like that…"

Natara took in a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut, as if the blackness behind her eyelids would make everything go away. "No… no, you didn't hurt me, seriously. Really."
"So why are you avoiding me?"
Oh god, how was she supposed to answer that? Because I love you but I can't have you. Seriously? No way. She was not going to go to Painsville alone and it would take her forever to pick up any broken pieces of her heart, so she just brazened it out. "I'm not."
"Don't lie to me. You wouldn't look at me in the face. Why?"
"Am I?"
"Look at me, Natara."
Natara had no idea what to do. She knew she should stop avoiding him, but she did not want to face heartbreak. She was an adult, and Mal would have respected her if she said stop, but she did not, so now she had to face the music. Right? Right. Slowly, inch by inch, she lifted her chin, pasting a defiant expression on her face, and stared at Mal, as if she was squaring him off. Her eyes narrowed, trying to look indignant; but she knew her heart was thumping madly in her chest, and she was only managing to keep it up through sheer willpower, or she would have keeled over from the rapid blood flow.

"Natara, really, if I have hurt you, tell me, and I apologise for being a jerk."
"I've told you Mal, you didn't hurt me!" Natara was getting annoyed and frustrated because on one hand, she wished Mal knew, but on the other hand, she wished Mal knew nothing about her feelings. The problem was, because Mal knew nothing, he kept thinking that he hurt her, and would not let it go. And in all honesty, she was not pissed off at Mal, but at herself. If she had kept herself in check, she would not be facing this shitty situation now.

"Then what's wrong?"
Oh god, she could not stand this any longer; either she find a way out of it or she would blow. "Look Mal, nothing is wrong okay? It's just… maybe it's our first time and I'm just nervous alright?"
"And maybe I know you well enough to know you aren't. I know you Natara, you wouldn't be avoiding me even if you were nervous."
Damn it all to hell and back! Was Mal purposely trying to drive her up the wall? She pressed the heels of her palms to her closed eyelids, trying to stop the sharp pain pulling behind her eyes, and she wanted to scream. So she shook her head and just whispered, "Why are you doing this Mal? You wouldn't accept any explanation from me, so why are you even asking me in the first place? Just take it that it was a night of fun and let's leave it at that alright?"

And Mal broke. "Goddammit Natara! I do not want one night of fun! I want a whole long string of nights of fun! What do you not get? I love you Natara! Isn't that plain obvious?" Natara stared at Mal in shock, and he himself did not look any less stunned by his sudden outburst. Natara just stood there gaping at Mal, but her mind was more on her myriad of emotions than actually focusing on Mal. Yes, shock was at the top spot, but beyond that, there was joy, bewilderment, and love. Yup, she still loved the man. Someone should just take her pistol and shoot her now. Save her from the mess. Mal was the first to speak, considering her mind was still a blank as to what she should say.
"Natara… oh god, I'm so sorry if I shocked you." Mal placed his arms around Natara's waist and drew her in close, burying his face in her half-wet-but-still-disgusting hair. "But I love you, I really do. I absolutely cannot tell you how grateful I am to have met you. Beyond the fact that you have saved my ass so many times, you are the only woman who actually understands me and sometimes, know me better than I know myself. You–" Mal let go of her and stretched out his arms, palms facing up. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and even though you hate it, I'm trusting my gut right now, and it's telling me to just hold on and to never let you go. When Sandra left me, I thought I was going to die. But then you came into my life, and you healed me emotionally. And you showed me what real love is like. I will always love you, so please tell me you love me too and put me out of my misery."

Natara was in stunned silence, so apart from nodding her head vigorously, she did not know how else to tell Mal she loved him too. With everything she had. And then she just fell into Mal's arms, and the tears started coming. What he said might not be the best confession she could have gotten or he could give, but Natara knew he meant it, and to her, that was more than enough. Mal was kissing the shell of her ear, and softly using the pad of his thumb to brush her tears away for the countless time that week. She pulled back reluctantly and looked up into his face, "Mal, really? Because after all that's happened, I can't go back to just being friends with you anymore. You don't have to do this out of obligation, or because you feel that you need–" The rest of her sentence was swallowed by Mal, his lips gently pressing against hers, and he replied, "Trust the gut Natara, trust the gut." Natara smiled at his words, and said, "So what does this make us now?" She moved in to tuck her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying on his chest and listening to the soft thump of his heartbeat, making her feel safe and secure. Mal gave another kiss to her forehead, "What you think this makes us, honey, is what we are."

ONCE MORE, SORRY )': AND THANKS (': [I'm an emo kid.]