It Ain't Easy

ATTENTION: The song I used is 'Say You'll Stay" by Melissa Polinar and Kim Walling but I am going to act as if Santana writes this for Mercedes.

Previously...

Santana Lopez's Point Of View

"I want to ask you something." I say.

She looks at me, silently telling me to go on. "I was just wondering if... you like me." I tell her, now I am blushing. I wish my skin was darker so she didn't see my red cheeks.

"Off course I do. You are one of my best friends." She says, slightly stuttering.

I shake my head. "I don't mean it like that. I want to know if you like me."

I hold my breath.

Chapter 5...

Mercedes Jones' Point Of View

I look at her, shock written all over my face. She figured it out?

"Uhm, I... I just... Uh." Is everything I can get out. She lets out a tiny chuckle but I can see she is nervous.

"Did you hear me, 'Cedes?" She asks me and I nod. I take a deep breath.

"I don't know." I reply honestly. I don't, really. I mean, yes, I like her a lot but do I like, like her? "Do you like me?" I want to know. Slowly, she nods.

"Yes, I think I do." She tells me.

She is sitting next to me and I feel like she is too close, I'm a bit scared she'll just kiss me or something. Not that I wouldn't want that but I'm just not sure I'm ready to do that and oh, this is getting too much. I stand up and walk to the door.

"Mercedes don't go. I didn't mean to scare you." Santana says and I hear that she stands up. I turn around and see how afraid she is. It's etched on her face.

"I just need some time to process this. I just... just give me some space? Please?" I ask.

She nods. "Okay." is all she says before I walk out of my room.

I decide to go for a walk. While I'm walking past the houses of my neighbors, I take a deep breath and begin to think. Why didn't I just tell her I like her, back there? Why did I react like that? It's not as if she was going to jump me any minute. She was just telling me that she likes me. And I like her to so why did I freak out?

Santana Lopez's Point Of View

As she walks out of the room, I feel tears escape my eyes. I totally screwed up. She just freaked out. I lost her, I lost her... but she likes me, no? I mean, how she acts around me... there are clear signs she likes me. That shy smiles, unnecessary touching, stuttering, looking at me when she thinks I can't see... Maybe she is just scared? She probably never felt like this. Like, having a crush on a girl, I mean. She has probably crushed on someone before. Or maybe she is just scared because she likes me, the big, bad bitch of McKinley High. She might think that I only want her, to hurt and use her but she couldn't be further from the truth. I want to be there for her. I want to protect her from all the hurt and pain in the world, just to see that beautiful, bright smile constantly. I take a pen and paper and begin to write, maybe if I write in a letter what I feel, she'll understand...

Mercedes Jones' Point Of View

I think I figured out why I'm so scared. I mean, look at her, and how can she ever like a girl like me? She is so beautiful and I'm... not. I mean, yes, I am pretty but beautiful like she is? No. I know that she didn't say that to use me or anything. I know she is a real friend and that she really means it when she says something like that even though not everyone believes that she can be nice. But this is all so... out of my hands. I can't decide what I feel or not feel, I can't decide how people will react when they find out I can also like girls. I don't even know how to like a girl. I mean, are the rules different?

What am I thinking? I know the 'rules' aren't different. Hanging around with Kurt should have thaught me that. You just go with the flow, right? I sigh. I probably hurt her. She is probably feeling so bad right now. Dammit, Jones. You just hurt a person you care about without any real reason.

I have to get back home and tell Santana that I didn't mean to hurt her. I look around and finally see where I am. Darn, it will take more than an hour to get back home. I kick a little stone that is laying in front of me and begin to walk back home.

Santana Lopez's Point Of View

The letter I intended to write ends up in a song and it's pretty good. And I already have the music in my head. I'm glad Miguel taught me to play guitar. My big brother... I miss him. I sigh. I should stop thinking about him. He ignores me and acts like I don't exist. I shake my head and concentrate on the task at hand. I need to finish this song. I am so performing this tomorrow in Glee club.

Mercedes Jones' Point Of View

The Next Day, Afternoon, The Choir Room,

I am thinking about last night. It was so awkward. Santana and I barely talked and we both faced the opposite walls, trying not to look at each other but I didn't sleep a single second so I'm feeling like a wreck. I'm tired and I don't even have my best friend to nag to about it. This sucks. I am so wrapped up in myself pity that I don't notice that Santana is sitting in front of the class with a guitar in her hands. I didn't know she could play. She glances at me before she begins to play. I don't recognize the song.

There's something in the air

A whisper in my ear

And I can't get it out of my mind

Maybe these butterflies are trying to tell us

There's something here that we need to find

Oh my god, did she write this for me? She can't be serious? Really? She's awesome. That's so sweet…

And I don't know what love is up to these days

But it sure seems like it's hanging around

She keeps looking at me and I see some people sharing confused looks. Only Quinn and Kurt seem to know what this is about. Quinn seems a bit worried but also pleased while Kurt just seems impressed with the effort Santana is putting into this.

So, won't you say you'll stay?

Even though we don't know what this is all about

Guess we'll just have to wait

'Cause what we are we will eventually figure out

And all I know is that I want to be next to you

And right now there's room for the world

So won't you stay?

Please say you'll stay

Don't you run away just because you're afraid.

Of something that feels out of control

She is right about that, that's exactly what I feel. Like this is out of my control. I am afraid of this... whatever 'it' is.

We can take our time, just give it a try

'Cause there's no harm in taking it slow

Oh, we don't know what love is up to these days

But it sure seems like it's hanging around

So, won't you say you'll stay?

Even though we don't know what this is all about

Guess we'll just have to wait

'Cause what we are we will eventually figure out

And all I know is that I want to be next to you

And right now there's room for the world

So won't you stay?

Please say...

Live each moment

Love every minute

Take every second by the hand

We don't have to worry

There isn't any hurry

It's all going to work out in the end

I smile at her.

So, won't you say you'll stay?

Even though we don't know what this is all about

Guess we'll just have to wait

'Cause what we are we will eventually figure out

And all I know is that I want to be next to you

And right now there's room for the world

So won't you stay?

Please say

Won't you stay?

Please say

You'll stay

Please stay

Oh oh

She ends the song and everyone claps.

"That was very beautiful. Did you write that yourself?" Mr. Shue asks.

"Yes, I did." She answers, and glances at me. I give her a small smile.

"Very impressive, Santana." Mr. Shue tells her.

"Who was it for?" Puck asks. She looks at him; I can see she is debating whether or not to tell them.

"None of your business." She says before she sits down next to me, not on her original chair. She doesn't say anything but she doesn't have to. We'll talk about it later.

A Few Minutes Later, After Glee Club...

I am walking towards my car when someone gently grips my wrist. By the familiar tingle it makes me feel, I know it's Santana. I turn around and face her.

"Did you like the song?" She asks me. I smile a soft smile and nod.

"Yes, I did." I answer.

"I wrote it for you, you know?" She looks like a small child and it's so cute.

"It was beautiful..." I say. "Look, Santana, I haven't figured this out yet and I just need some time. I really, really like you but I'm not sure if this is something I can do. I don't even know who I am anymore. This has changed everything I think about myself. I thought I knew what I wanted and believe me, that didn't include another girl but... maybe it does now. I'm not sure. Just give me some more time, okay?" I ask her and she nods.

"I get it. I already asked Quinn if I can stay with her for a few days, just to give you some time to think about everything." She tells me.

"You don't have to..." I begin.

"Yeah, I do. I understand that you need to be on your own so you can think about everything." She tells me.

"Okay then..." I say.

"I already have everything in my car to stay with Quinn, so I guess I'll see you around." She says. "Bye." But before she can leave, I take her hand.

"Can I at least have a hug before you go?" I want to know. She grins.

"Sure." She answers and pulls me close. It fills me with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Her breath hits my hair and it feels amazing. When she pulls back, the side of her lips brush against my cheek and it makes me shudder. "I'm gonna go now." She says. I watch as she walks away and I sigh. The warm, fuzzy feeling is gone.

Santana Lopez's Point Of View

45 Minutes Later, Quinn Fabray's Room...

"Okay, you have to tell me what happened." Quinn says. Both girls are laying on the blonde's bed, looking at the ceiling.

"Nothing, really. I asked her if she liked me, she stuttered a bit before she said she didn't know. She asked me how I felt, I said that I think I like her and then she just walked out of the room. That's it."

"So, I was wrong and she is not into you?" Quinn wants to know.

"Oh, no, she is into me... I think I just have to give her some time. Soon, she'll realize it." I tell her smugly.

"Your song was very beautiful." Quinn compliments.

"I'm pretty good, right? At least better than Berry." I roll my eyes but Quinn doesn't.

"Come on, San. We've gotta stop picking on her. She is pretty nice." Quinn says. I raise my eyebrows.

"What? You are friends with Yentl?" I ask, almost laughing.

"." She quickly says.

"What did you say?" I ask her again.

"She kissed me yesterday." She whispers and I gasp.

"No way! She didn't! Yentl is a dyke? This is awesome!" I exclaim and sit up excitedly.

"Oh, I hate that word." She says.

"What? Dyke? I think it sounds cool. Cooler than lesbian if you ask me. But anyways, did you like it?" I ask. I am sure my eyes are sparkling. This is so cool!

"Maybe, I don't know. It's different from kissing a boy but it's not better."

"Why did she kiss you anyway?" I question.

"I don't know. She was just practicing some song in the choir room. I said that it was beautiful and then, out of the blue, she said that I was more beautiful and then she just... kissed me."

"That girl's got some balls."

I am truly impressed.

"I just left her there and went home." She tells me.

"So, do you wanna get together with her?" I ask.

"Santana, I'm not gay." Quinn says.

"Maybe you are bi like Mercedes." Santana told Quinn.

"How do you even know for sure Mercedes is gay? And no, I'm not gonna get together with Berry." Quinn protested.

"She is not that ugly if you think about it. I think that underneath those clothes, she is pretty nice." I say and lick my lips, just to tease her. I can see a flash of jealousy in her eyes.

"Back off, you have Mercedes." She snaps.

"Oooh, I was so right! You like Berry's berries." I laugh so hard when she pushes me, I start a tickle fight and soon, we are a giggling mess on the floor. She surrenders and I do my happy dance before we collapse on the bed.

"So, you are on my team, huh?" I want to know.

"Look, I don't know. I enjoyed kissing her but I'm not sure if I really want to be with a girl, I don't know."

"If you need some sex advice, I'm totally here for you." I say and enjoy her grossed out and slightly turned on face. Yep, so gay...

"Ieuw, Santana!" She said as she pushes me. "I don't want to have sex again until I'm married, you know that..."

"Yeah, well, then you'll have to wait a long time because gay marriage will take a long, long time." I say.

"I'm not gay, Lopez." Quinn snapped.

"Sure..." I say laughing out loud.

"Besides, I don't even know what girls do together." Quinn said.

My mouth falls open. "You don't?" I ask, shocked.

"Uhm, no." She says, now becoming a bit embrassed.

"Okay, that is just sad... I mean, I feel like a bad friend. You are friends with a lesbian, you should totally know and now that you have a thing for Rachel's berries, you should certainly know."

"Stop saying that." She said and pushed me.

"Please, I've seen you staring at her twins, Blondie. I just thought you liked her shirt now you are also dressing like a nun but actually you just liked what is underneath it." I am so enjoying this. "But I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to, Quinnocence."

"Nice nickname." She replies dryly.

"I know, right?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes.

Mercedes Jones' Point Of View

The Next Morning, In Front Of the Fabray House,

I have thought about everything last night and I've come to my conclusion. I ring the bell and Quinn opens the door.

"Hey, Mercedes." She greets me.

"Hi, girl. Is Santana here?" I ask, talk about asking a stupid question. She just smiles.

"Yeah, she is in the shower. She'll be down in a second. Come in." She says and I walk past her. Nice house, I think. I've never been here before. I look at Quinn who seems to want to ask me something and I smile.

"What?" I ask her.

She bites her lip. "So, what are you gonna tell her?" She asks.

I chuckle. "That's none of your business." I tell her.

"Just tell me if you guys are gonna get together or not." She smiles that sweet smile and I roll my eyes.

"You'll find out soon enough." I say. She gives up with a sigh and walks to the living room.

"Quinn? Who's there? Quinn? Hey, Tubbers, can't you answer me?" I hear Santana yell. I hear a loud sigh and she walks down the stairs in black shorts and a pink tank top. Her hair is still wet and it is making the fabric of her top a bit damp. She looks absolutely gorgeous. When she sees me, her frown disappears and is replaced by a smile.

"Mercedes, hi." She says and I give her a little grin.

"Hey, Santana. Can we talk?" I ask her.

"Yes, sure." She replies as she takes the last steps of the stairs. She stands in front of me and I take her hand.

"I've been thinking..." I begin. "And I really, really like you..." I say. She is panicking; she thinks I'm going to say that we can't be together. "And I would like to see where this can go." I finish and she beams. It's really one of the most beautiful views.

"Really?" She wants to know.

"Really." I say. Before I know it, her arms are wrapped around me and she is hugging me close. I return the hug and sigh. This feels so good, so right. She pulls back a little and I notice the tears pooling in her eyes. "Are you crying?" I ask. She nods.

"It's just that I'm really happy." She says and I smile.

"Me to." I tell her and bring my hand up to her cheek. Her face relaxes and mine does to. I lean a bit closer and she does the same. Softly, our lips connect and an amazing feeling invades my body. It's a simple kiss but it's perfect. We part and smile at each other.

Lucy Q. Fabray's Point Of View

When I don't hear any voices come from the hall, I begin to worry. Maybe Mercedes said no, and Santana is crying or something. The door is still ajar and I decide to just sneak a peek. I mean, I'm just worried, right? Okay, no, I'm just really, really curious. I walk closer and when I look though the crack of the door, I immediately regret it. Santana's arms are round Mercedes' waist, Mercedes' hand is on her upper arm and the other one is on the Latina's cheek. Their lips are pressed together and I can see the happiness radiating off of them. I feel bad for seeing this private moment and turn around. I walk back to the kitchen where I lean against the counter. I am happy that Santana is happy. She deserves it, after what she went through with Brittany and Mercedes does to, after Sam broke it off, she was just too damn sad. I close my eyes. I deserve that happiness to and I know that what I felt when Rachel kissed me, is exactly what they are feeling right now. Should I go for her or not? Do I dare to do something that seems so not like me?

Author Notes: Okay, so, I guess you guys weren't lucky. It took me longer than 24 hours to write this but this chapter good, right? LOL. And it's one of the longest chapters. Now, I want to ask you guys something and please answer with A or B in a review or a PM. (You can also e-mail me ... silverlovefanfic at yahoo . com)

Question: Do you want me to make this into a Sancedes/Faberry story and also read Quinn's and Rachel's point of view and see their journey to each other or do you want this to stay only Sancedes and see the development of Faberry from a distance?

Answers:

A) I want this to become a Sancedes/Faberry story.

B) I don't want this to become a Sancedes/Faberry story; I want to see the Faberry relationship develop from a distance.

You choose. You have about 18 hours to vote. Choose wisely. ;).