Story 1 – Take All The Time Lost

A Jane/Lisbon Story

By Brown Eyes Parker

Author's Note: This was going to be angsty, but after last night's episode (and spending an hour crying) I decided to make it semi-angsty with a happy ending. It's not my best story, because after "War of the Roses", my writer's block came back with a vengeance. But I needed to do something, my poor shipper heart couldn't stand it. (And all the voices from the boys in my past came rushing back too, "you have a great personality, but you're not that pretty. . .").

Anyways, this was inspired by a line from "The End Of The Affair" with Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes. I've never seen it, because it's like mega R, but I thought the line was beautiful and fit Jane/Lisbon perfectly. Title comes from "All This Time" by OneRepublic.

.

"You see I never stopped loving you, even though I couldn't see you."

The End Of The Affair_

"Lisbon! Lisbon is that you?"

The petite, brunette woman turned around and as emerald green eyes met sea blue; Patrick Jane knew it was indeed the woman that he had let go so many years ago.

"Hey Jane," she said quietly, pausing so he could catch up with her. "It's been a while, you're looking good."

"Not as good as you," Jane replied smoothly, grinning at her. "What brings you all the way over to Florida, business or pleasure?"

"Pleasure," Lisbon answered promptly. "The team chipped in to send me on a vacation as a birthday present this year."

"Your choice or theirs?" Jane asked.

"Their choice," she answered, shrugging. "But what does it matter?"

"How about I treat you to lunch, I know a great little place that sells the best soup and sandwiches" he said. "You can catch me up on everything that's been happening in your life since the last time I saw you."

"I'd like that," Lisbon replied, smiling at him genuinely.

.

"And so, we broke up and he went back to his ex-girlfriend," Lisbon said as she pushed her leftover chocolate cake around on her plate. "They got married in Napa last month, the ceremony was beautiful."

"And you were okay with going to their wedding?" Jane asked, taking a sip of his tea.

"Of course I was," Lisbon replied. "I'm getting used to the fact that every relationship I'm going to be in is doomed for failure, because nobody I date seem to match up to. . . well, never mind. What about you? How have you been?"

"I've been doing well," Jane answered. "I'm doing free-lance consulting, but it's all I really need. I'm finally free, and I like that feeling."

"I'm glad you're happy," Lisbon said, pushing her dessert away.

"And I'm glad you're. . . okay," Jane said.

There was a long bout of awkward silence and then Jane signaled for the waiter to bring the check.

Lisbon rose and offered him an uncertain smile. "Well, I guess I should be getting back to my hotel now. It looks like rain."

"You don't have to do that!" Jane said quickly. "My apartment is right up the street. We could go there and catch up a little bit more, if you'd like. And if it's still raining when you want to go back to your hotel, then I'll give you a ride back."

"Would you like it if I came with you?" She asked uncertainly.

"I'd like it very much," he answered sincerely. He leaned forward to push a stray lock of hair away from Lisbon's face, his hand resting against her cheek for a breath of a moment. "Lisbon, you don't know how much I've missed you."

"Jane, you don't know how much I've missed you," Lisbon whispered.

Yes Lisbon, Jane thought as he jerked away like he had been burned, I do know how much you missed me. I know it's my fault that you missed me, it's something that I've regretted every single day since we parted ways.

"Are you okay?" Lisbon asked.

"I'm fine," Jane assured her. "Come on, let's get out of here."

It had just started to rain by the time they reached his apartment. Jane put a pot of tea on and they spent the rest of the afternoon together filling the empty, silent spaces of their relationship with small talk and old movies on TCM.

When it got late, Jane decided to throw some dinner together before he took her back to her hotel. It was like, even though they really didn't have anything to say to each other, he was trying to prolong her from losing her again.

.

They sat in the hotel parking lot, watching the rain pound on the wind shield, each time one of them started to say something, they stopped before they began. They both knew that the next words out of their mouth could possibly be the inevitable goodbye. And after finding each other after eighteen months of being separated, they both knew they never wanted to hear those words from the other's lips ever again.

"Lisbon?" Jane finally said.

"Yes Jane?" She asked, stealing a glance at him, her eyes tender under the dim lights of the lamp posts lining the parking lot.

He hesitated, weighing each of his next words carefully. He didn't want to seem presumptuous, but he wanted to know – needed – to know. He took a deep breath, threw caution to the wind.

"Did you ever stop loving me. . . after I went away?"

Lisbon sighed. "No. Heaven knows I tried to stop, but you being away, not being able to see you only made my feelings for you grow by leaps and bounds. I love you more than I've ever loved you before. I just didn't realize it until I saw you today."

"Good. I'm glad."

"Really?" Lisbon asked. "Because last year, you weren't so happy to find out that I loved you—"

"It took leaving for me to realize that I loved you too," Jane told her as he turned to look at her. "And then I was too much of a coward not to come back. I couldn't face you, not after I had rejected you. Not after everything I had put you through—"

"Shh! Shh!" Lisbon said, putting a finger to his lips and shaking her head. "Let's not talk about the past. I just want to concentrate on right now, the time we have together tonight—"

Jane's face fell. "You're going back to California, I forgot."

"I have a life there; I just can't drop everything to move here and be with you. I'd need a darn good reason to do it."

"Isn't love enough?" Jane asked.

Lisbon hesitated, chewing her lip thoughtfully. "Why don't you come back with me? You could get your old job back at the CBI, and we could really be together. We could snuggle on the couch, and watch old movies and steal each other's books for as long as we both shall live."

He had never seen her this desperate, not even the night she had said, I love you. Not even on the muggy afternoon that she had pleaded with him not to kill Red John. And all he wanted to do was say yes. Because nothing had ever sounded sweeter than cuddling, and olds movies, and stealing each other's books for as long as they both should live.

And he knew, if he said no then Teresa Lisbon would get on an airplane and leave his life once again. This time, it would be forever, because she would know better than to put herself in a situation where she could get hurt for a third time.

He didn't want to lose her forever.

Not this time.

Not ever.

This time the only thing he wanted to ever separate them was the inevitableness of death.

So, he looked into her eyes and said the bravest words that he had ever said since asking Angela Ruskin to be his wife.

He said yes.

.

Author's Note II:

I know the reasons why they separated in the first place were a little subtle, but I hoped it wouldn't matter. And I know there wasn't a kiss, but I just couldn't work it into this story. Plus, I know that nobody really wants to see good guy Jane after last night, but I couldn't help it. To me, he's still a good guy.

Please tell me what you thought of this and if it cheered you up just a little bit. Until the next story!

Love,

Holly, 2/17/1012