Part Two

Strong Reasons:

Whirlwind of Passion

The Whirlwind of Passion, you must acquire and beget.

- Shakespeare

Prologue

Two months and twenty-three days in a coma and he finally woke up. Dr. Tanner was standing over him checking his vitals as he tried to adjust his eyes to seeing. He felt weak as a kitten and tired. How can I feel so tired after being unconscious for so long?

Dr. Tanner looked behind him and nodded. Jackie Vance walked forward and smiled at him.

"Hey, Tony, I was reading to you when you woke up. I was reading Raymond Chandler to you," she smiled.

"Mrs. Vance," he rasped.

"Call me Jackie. And don't talk. Your throat and mouth are dry. It's been a while since you used them," she said.

"I'll have a nurse bring him ice chips to chew on. That will help," Dr. Tanner said. "I'll let you talk to him a bit, get him used to be aware and awake."

As Tanner left Jackie Vance came closer and held his hand.

"One of your teammates would have been here but Leon had to send them to Hawaii for some important reason. You should have seen how angry Gibbs and Ziva were. They didn't want to leave you, but I promised to take care of you," she said.

A nurse came in with a cup full of ice and handed it to Jackie for Tony.

"Sit up," he croaked.

"Here," the nurse said and then she grabbed a control and adjusted his bed so he was sitting up. "You're going to need to work to get your strength back."

Jackie gave him the ice chips and he sucked one into his mouth and started to let it melt. Maybe he had forgotten what pizza tasted like, but the melting ice turning into cold water in his mouth was the most glorious thing he tasted in his life.

"I'm going to have to let Leon, Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy know you're awake," she said. "They are going to want to throw a party. We were all so worried about you."

"Why?" his hoarse voice asked.

"Tony, you should know why. You are loved. Your teammates have been taking turns sitting with you these past months," she said.

He tried to smile but he didn't feel loved. Maybe it was all that time undercover, but he felt alone and isolated. The thought of someone loving him just didn't seem right.

He brought his hand up to his face to scratch his jaw and felt that he was clean shaven. Suddenly, he wondered who wanted him to be clean shaven while in a coma. It was probably Gibbs.

"Do mind if I step out and call everyone?" she asked.

"No," he answered.

Jackie stepped out of the room to make some calls. Tony was glad to be alone. He wanted some space to adjust to being awake. When he was in a coma he heard voices, caught pieces of this and that, but mainly it was like drifting in a black peaceful ocean.

He sucked another ice chip into his mouth. Was Talib in custody? Was it really over? He cleared his throat but all that did was make his throat more clogged. Clearing his throat with more force he finally felt as if he was able to talk. Jackie came back into the room.

"Abby and Jimmy will be right over and Leon and Ducky will be coming to visit later,' she said.

"Thank you," he said.

"Your voice is already sounding better," she said.

NCIS

"Oh, my God, Tony, you are finally awake," Abby creamed as she came bursting into his room.

She stopped short of diving into his bed with him to hug him because he was sitting eating a bowl of clear broth. Tony looked and saw that she was dressed in a short, mid thigh short, black dress with her hair in pigtails and her favorite studded dog collar on.

Instead of hugging him, she sat down on the side of his bed and placed her hand on his thigh and squeezed. Her shiny green eyes met his sea green eyes and she immediately saw the distance and pain in them.

"Tony, what's wrong?" she asked.

"He is coping with being awake, my dear," said Ducky as he stood at the foot of the bed with his fedora in hand and his favorite trench cat still on.

Tony smiled as he saw Ducky's bow tie was perfectly tied, a red one with subtle gold dots set a against a blue dress shirt. It was classic Ducky. He hadn't changed, but Tony had. Standing beside him was the bespectacled and smiling Jimmy.

"Ducky, Jimmy," he tried a smile.

He knew it wasn't much of one, but what could they expect after almost three months in a coma.

"It's more than that," Abby insisted. "What's wrong, Tony? I know you. There is something bothering you."

Tony looked at her and tried to be the man she expected but he was either gone or buried deep inside him. Ducky could sense his discomfort.

"Abigail and Mr. Palmer, why don't you two go down to the hospital's shop and get Anthony some reading material. He might want to catch up on the world now that he has rejoined us," Ducky said.

Jimmy understood that Ducky wanted to speak to Tony alone.

"Come on, Abby, I never know what to buy," he said.

"Okay," she sighed. "I'll be right back, so don't go back to sleep. Stay awake."

Abby and Jimmy exited leaving Ducky. Tony took another taste of his broth. It madehim miss food, which he supposed was a good thing.

"You have gone through hell and the world has changed for you but not for those you left behind," Ducky stated. "It must be off putting to say the least."

"I'm glad they're not here," he admitted.

"I would suppose dealing with Jethro and Ziva would be overwhelming for you right now," he said.

"I don't think I could deal with them," he said.

"You don't have to worry about that for now. They will be in Hawaii for at least four weeks. Pearl's main MCRT were murdered for someone unknown. The Director sent Gibbs' team along with Stan Burley subbing for you to fill in for the team while it is being replaced. Of course, they are also investigating the death of those valiant agents," explained Ducky.

"I'm glad Stan is with them," Tony said. "The boss always liked him."

Ducky could sense the meaning behind the sentence: he liked him, so he was the perfect replacement for me. Tony wasn't sure if he was returning to the team.

"Maybe I should call Dr. Cranston and tell her you are awake. She has been worried about you and would love to talk to you," Ducky said.

"I don't want to talk to her, Ducky. I'm not in a sharing mood," he said.

"It was that bad," Ducky said.

Instead of answering Tony smiled sadly. Ducky walked aroudn to Tony's right side and placed his hand on Tony's right arm.

"I have experienced many events in my life which have deadened, if not killed, part of my soul. Each time I believed that I would never be the same and I was right," he told him. "We either grow from these experiences or they change us for the worse. I have faith that you will grow, Anthony."

"Thank you, Ducky," he said.

NCIS

Once he had enough strength to walk and take care of himself, he was ready to be released from the hospital. His apartment was rented, but Gibbs had arranged to put his things in storage and Vance got him temporary housing on the Navy yard. During this period he avoided all calls from Hawaii, even though they came every day. Once, sometimes twice, a day either Gibbs or Ziva would call him. He wasn't ready to talk to either one of the them yet.

He did take his visits from Ducky, Jimmy, and Abby, who was told not to push him about talking to Gibbs by Ducky. After leaving the hospital two weeks of rehab had him walking with enough stamnia that he at least looked like he was ready to return to duty. Yes, he was still thinner, his hair longer, and he preferred a three to five day growth of beard.

Waking up on a Monday morning he dressed in jeans and a pink oxford shirt along with a pair of suede dirty bucks and a black sued jacket. Jimmy had returned his GTO to him, which he held on to for him while he was undercover. Tony drove the short distance from his temporary housing to the NCIS Headquarters. He parked in his old spot and headed up to the bullpen.

In a week Gibbs, Ziva, McGee and Stan were due to be back, so Tony wanted to get some get things settled with Vance before they returned. Getting off the elevator, he walked through the empty bullpen that belonged Gibbs' MCRT. He passed by his desk and saw some of his things were stil there. Continuing up to the mezzanine he stopped at Cynthia's desk.

"Tony, it's great to see you again," she smiled.

"Thanks. Is it possible for me to see Vance?" he asked.

She picked herher phone and dialed him: "Agent DiNozzo is here to see you."

She hung up and nodded: "He'll see you."

Tony walked into Vance's office. Much to his surprise the Director was glad to see him. He got up from behind his desk and offered him his right hand. Tony shook it.

"You are looking better, a little scruffy, but better," said Vance.

"You must thank your wife for all she did for me, Director," he said.

"She wanted to do it. We all did. I read Sports Illustrated to you and the sports page," he said ten motioned him to sit at the conference table.

"Jarvis has resigned his position and Garrison has taken a job at Homeland Security," Vance said as he sat down.

"Glad to hear it," Tony said as he sat down then stared at the table top.

Vance noticed this. The bold, brash, and sometime annoying DiNozzo was nowhere to be seen. Instead he was looking at a man, who looked lost.

"What can I do for you, Tony?" he asked using his Christian name which he seldom did.

"I'd like to take all my accrued vacation, comp time, and sick time and even some approved time without pay," he said.

Vance got up and walked over to his desk and checked on his computer Tony's file. His undercover op accrued him some serious comp time and even with his recent sick leave he had four months coming to him.

"How does five months sound?" he asked Tony.

"About right. By the end of that I should have made up my mind," he said.

"Okay, it's now almost the end of May. I don't expect to see you in the office until the November," said Vance.

"I probably won't take the whole five months, but I like having the it in case I need it," Tony said.

"You've earned it, if not more," said Vance.

"I'll be out of the temporary housing this weekend," said Tony.

Vance returned to the conference table and sat down.

"Now do you want to explain to me what you are doing?" he asked.

"I am rethinking my life," Tony answered. "I'm not too sure I want to remain at NCIS. The time off will give me a chance to decide what I really want to do."

"You've been one f the most loyal agents we have. What's changed for you, Tony?" Vance asked, even though he guessed the answer. He was trying to give the man a chance to voice his disappointment and pain.

"I've been used one too many times," he said then shook his head slowly. "That and Jarvis told me that he owned me. I don't like being owned."

"I know Gibbs will hold your senior field agent position for as long as necessary," said Vance.

"He doesn't need to," said Tony.

"Why?"

"If I do return I'll be requesting a new assignment," he said.

"Really? This surprises me," said Vance. "I think it will surprise your team, also."

"It hasn't been my team in a long time, Director. I've been gone a long time," Tony said.

"It's your decision, Tony," said Vance, sensing Tony's defensiveness.

"Thank you, sir," he said.

"Where are you going?" asked Vance.

"I thought I'd hit the road. Drive around and get lost for awhile," he said.

"Do you have the financial wherewithal to do this?" asked Vance.

Tony smiled: "Early in my career as a cop I was tagged as the rich boy who wanted to slum it, so I kept the trust fund my mother left me quiet. I didn't use it very often, just for the occasional car upgrade and, of course, suits. Not many federal agents wear fifteen hundred dollar and two thousand dollar suits like me. Yeah, I'm pretty much all set. My mother's family was always wealthier than my father's."

"Do you need anything from me?" asked Vance.

"I'd like to keep my ID and badge while I'm on leave. They might come in handy on the road," he said.

"They belong to you until you decide to give them up," Vance said.

Tony stood up and offered Vance his right hand. They shook hands.

"Where to now?" he asked Tony.

"To say goodbye to Abby, Ducky, and jimmy and then I'm off," he said.

NCIS

Tony gathered Abby, Ducky and Jimmy in the autopsy. Abby, who was looking like a Goth cheerleader, was bouncing up and down waiting for what Tony had to say, while Ducky and Jimmy waited patiently in their scrubs.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll be gone for awhile," he said.

"Where are you going?" Abby asked quickly.

"I'm hitting the road in my car and just going," he said. "I have a lot to deal with and to decide and a nice long road trip seems the best way for me to think about things."

"How long, Tony?" Jimmy asked.

"I talked to Vance and he gave me five months. I probably won't use them all, but it's good to know I have as much time as I need," he said.

Abby's eyes filled with tears. She walked over and gave him a hug.

"Please get better and return to us," she said.

"I'll try to, Abs," he said.

"Tony," Jimmy started to say something, but Tony stopped him.

"I expect to hear that Breena is pregnant when I return," he said. "I wouldn't mind be an uncle."

Jimmy smiled. Ducky, who had his arms crossed, uncrossed them.

"Abigail and Mr. Palmer, can I have a moment alone with Anthony?" he said.

"Okay, Ducky," said Abby, who gave Tony a kiss on the cheek and left.

"Tony," Jimmy shook his hand then gave him an awkward hug and followed Abby.

"You aren't trying to convince me to stay and see Rachel instead?" askd Tony.

"No, Anthony, I'm not. I understand what you are doing. You feel overwhelmed. You have done things you never thought you'd have to do as one of the good guys. You probably violated several of your own moral codes in fulfilling this assignment and it cost you dearly. I understand what you are doing," Ducky said. "But I also want you to remember where you came from and it is not from the loins of your father. It is from this dyfunctional family we have developed here and as the Grandfather of this family I can admit that you are my favorite grandchild. We both were born with the gift of the gab. What I am requesting is that you stay in contact with me. I will not tell the rest where you are or that you even call. I would rest easier at night knowing you are doing fine. These past nine months have been difficult for me not knowing if you were alive or dead, so I ask that you do an old man a favor," he said.

"Expect to hear from from time to time, Ducky," he said and then gave the older man a hug.

"When do you leave?" Ducky asked.

"Tomorrow."

NCIS

Tony understood Leroy Jethro Gibbs better than anyone other than Ducky. Once Gibbs found out he'd taken off he'd have Ziva and McGee track him, so he decided to take precaution. The first thing he did was withdraw fifty grand in cash for his trip budgeting himself ten grand a month. Of course this meant motel, fast food, and pubs, which he had nothing against. Next, he parked his GTO in a long term garbage paid for five months then he went out and bought a black 1969 Dodge Challenger in Baltimore then he used his connections to plates and everything else he needed quickly.

He stayed in Danny's condo, which he had kept after his death. Danny had left it to him and Tony decided to keep it as a safe house of sorts. At Danny's he checked on what he was bringing with him: causal clothes, NCIS ID and badge, backup gun which was a 9mm Beretta, fifty grand in cash, and GPS. He turned off his old smartphone and activated his new smartphone, an i-Phone. In the morning he was ready to hit the road with his first stop being LA to thank Hettie, Kensi and the rest of OSP for what they had done for him.

NCIS

"Goddamn it, Abby, he did what?" roared Gibbs.

Ziva stood on the tarmac with McGee watching and listening to Gibbs as he took the call from Abby. They were about to board a C-130 Hercules Cargo plane to San Diego, where they would switch to a C-20 Gulfstream for the rest of the ride back to DC.

It had been a hellacious month where they investigated the murders of a MCRT while filling in for it. They discovered that the murders were done by a former NCIS agent who was fired by the lead agent of the MCRT.

"He looks pissed," remarked Stan, who was subbing for Tony.

"Only DiNozzo gets him that angry," observed McGee.

"It better not be about Tony," said Ziva.

The last time she had seen Tony he was still comatose. When he woke up she called and called him but he never took her call. At first she was infuriated by this but after the first week of his ignoring her calls she started to worry that their friendship, their relationship, was now damaged beyond repair.

Her mind drifted back to the day in the garage when he did his best to turn Gibbs, Abby, and her against him. He pushed her so hard that she resorted to violence putting him down on his knees, spitting in his face, and then slapping him harder than she had ever slapped another person in her life. All she could remember afterwards was how defeated and miserable he looked when she left him there on his knees.

In hindsight she saw how he pushed every button just right to provoke her insecurities. No one knew her better than Tony.

"DiNozzo can get him that angry because he's that attached to him," said Stan.

"When Tony is in trouble Abby says he gets into his grumpiest poppa bear mode," smiled Gibbs.

Ziva saw Gibbs clench his jaw and run his left hand through his sliver and grey hair. He hung up his cellphone then glared at his team.

"What's wrong, boss?" asked Stan.

He walked over to them and turned his attention to Ziva.

"Abby called to tell me that DiNozzo walked into the Director's office, asked for five months leave, and then took off on an extended road trip," he said.

His grey blue eyes were filled with concern. Ziva looked back at him with chocolate brown eyes filled with a pain he recognized. She loved him and Gibbs knew it. And she was filled with regrets and he understood that.

"Let's get on the plane," he ordered. "McGee, once we are back in DC I want you to start tracking DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss," said McGee.

Ziva followed by the team as they walked up the ramp and onto the plane. Sitting down on the bench seating, she strapped herself in. I am going to track him down. I need to track him down.

Gibbs sat across from Ziva. He looked at her face and saw a woman, who was desperate. What the hell were you thinking, DiNozzo?

NCIS

The plane was coming in for a landing at Montreal-Trudeau Airport. Karim Al Hamid looked at his passport it. The name on it was Abdul Abbas. His father had hired the best forger and counterfeiter he could find to make his passport and license. From Montreal he'd take a train down into New York then he would begin his personal Jihad on Anthony DiNozzo. If he had to hire people to kill him instead of killing him personally, he would. Ali Ibn Talib deserved vengeance and he would be the bringer of vengeance.