Disclaimer: I don't own (wish I did though).

Lenalee was a bit worried.

"Allen, are you sure you're alright?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine" Allen said, giving her a gentle smile.

"Tch, he's just weak" Kanda muttered.

Allen twitched "what was that Bakanda?" he demanded.

Lenalee sighed as the two began to argue. She had dragged Lavi and Kanda over to Allen's place, because she was worried her new friend was sick. Unfortunately, Kanda and Allen didn't appear to get along.

And that was when all four froze, hearing the sound of shattering glass and a window creaking open.

Instantly, Kanda attacked the intruder.

"No! Stop!" Allen yelled, looking horrified "what have I told you about breaking into my apartment?" he demanded, hands on his hips.

"Ah, shounen" the man almost purred, one hand covering his nose "you look so cute like that."

"I'm calling Road" Allen grumbled "don't you have therapy?' he took out a surprisingly expensive cell-phone with a number of stickers on it and began skimming through his contacts "that was her reason for giving me this."

"Now shounen, that is just cruel."

"You broke into my apartment, again" Allen said almost flatly "and Lulubell mentioned that you were skipping your therapy."

"I can feel the love."

"If you don't stop this I'll call the police again" Allen said, sighing and rolling his eyes "and this time I won't pay the bail. And you know how much they'd like to arrest you after that public indecency incident."

"I blame you" Tyki smirked before looking at Lavi "are you…?"

"No" Allen cut him off.

"What? But…!"

"No, you cannot ask him out."

"Why not?"

"Because Lavi is Lenalee's friend" Allen said calmly "no hitting on him."

"Are you straight?" Tyki asked, looking directly at Lavi and obviously checked him out.

There wasn't enough time for Lavi to answer.

Instead, the door was flung open, and with a roar of rage, the red-haired man threw himself at the intruder, hammer in hand.

Allen dragged his (somewhat) traumatized companions out of the room.

"We should leave before the police arrive again" he advised rather calmly.

"The police?" Lenalee squeaked.

"Yes, if I'm lucky they'll only be arrested for causing a disturbance" Allen said, frowning lightly "…and Tyki for breaking and entering again."

"That's lucky?"

"Not lucky would me getting called in for questioning over whether I've been sexually molested or abused or prostituted" Allen admitted rather calmly "or at least it did, now they just get held overnight."

"Allen" Lavi said, rather seriously "is it true?"

"No!" Allen protested "but…Tyki is a flirt" he shrugged "he claims that I'm being abused by Cross, and Cross…seems to think that the time Tyki was arrested for public nudity was…"

"Wait! Naked in public?"

"He lost at strip poker" Allen admitted, looking rather smug "paid me 1000 yen to ransom back his clothes. Road had to pay his bail."

"Wow" Lavi was grinning now "you have interesting friends kid, I wish Lenalee had introduced us earlier."

"Huh? Cross is my guardian and Tyki is my uncle" Allen said, blinking.

It was at that moment that the police arrived. They looked rather amused, waving and calling hellos to Allen who returned them.

"Seems like I'm going to have to play a couple poker games tonight" Allen sighed.

"Do you need a new lock?" Lenalee asked worriedly.

"No, see" Allen said, pointing at a figure on his roof that appeared to be…

"Cyril will replace the lock and window" he said "he's Tyki's brother."

"Maybe this time Tyki will be raped in prison" the girl looked gleeful and then pouted "but it's more likely that he'll leave with more followers again" she looked at Lavi "you look like you're his type. Are you gay? If so, would you mind terribly if I kidnapped you and delivered you to Tyki? If I do, then he'll be distracted and stop trying to rape my Allen."

"Road, I need a place to stay" Allen said calmly.

"Oh really?" she asked eagerly "that's great! I got my latest delivery from BDSM Queen and S&M-R-Us. I'm so exci-…"

Kanda grabbed Allen and proceeded to drag him away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Road asked "give Allen back!"

"You are clearly insane" Kanda spat, glaring at her "Moyashi, we're leaving."

"Oh, okay" Allen said, blinking "uh, but I'm staying with Road."

"Tsk, there's a spare room at my place. The old man would be delighted."

Froi was, in fact, delighted to meet Allen, and insisted on setting Allen up in a room that he declared would be 'Allen's Room'. Kanda's brothers proceeded to gape at Allen, disbelieving that Kanda had a *third* friend.

Allen ended up not leaving the house. The room really did become his. It took Tyki time to finally break in (partly because the glass was shatterproof and the area around the window was scattered with acid that was corrosive to skin only, which was one of Komui's ideas) and Tyki found himself faced with a rather pissed-off Japanese teenager who was naked and carrying a two-foot long sword.

Allen slept through the entire incident.

Tyki continued to hit on Lavi so much that Lavi begged Bookman for more 'work' so he'd avoid the older man.

Tyki did, however, try to break into a room he believed was Lavi's. He never got near the window. Instead, he was attacked by Komurin-W-3 (created for the purpose of protecting Lenalee's window). Komui was never informed that the 'pervert' was targeting his sister's boyfriend who was spending the night in their guestroom on the opposite side of the house in one of the rooms without a window.

Road laughed hysterically as she was begged to pay the bail before dragging Tyki to her 'date' with Allen (Kanda was also present since he didn't trust her around his boyfriend).

The date continued until Kanda learned that Tyki had 'practiced his knots' using Allen as a dummy. He and Allen left shortly after, the Asian male remembering an 'urgent engagement' he'd forgotten until then.

Kanda swore then and there (as he dragged away a confused Allen) that he would do everything he could to avoid those two crazy relatives of Allen. Needless to say, Froi was delighted at Kanda (and Allen's) presence at his latest art showing. When asked by a dumbfounded Marie and Daisya about why he was present when he'd ditched every other showing, Kanda muttered that he'd needed a reason for why to leave the 'date', one that Allen would not suspect him of lying about. Marie and Daisya privately decided to welcome Allen to the family since he was the first (and only) person whose opinion Kanda cared about.

When he discovered that Cyril was a member of the same 'club' as Komui he decided that Allen being an orphan was looking better every day.

Lavi meanwhile, while incredibly freaked out by Allen's uncle (the Bookman had noticed his behavior and had started 'spotting' the male so that Lavi would flee into the library and be 'too busy to talk') was strangely grateful.

The first target Kanda now attacked with his sword was Tyki.