His Lordship, Harry Potter

arc 1

His Private Ass.

Ch 01

It had been three weeks since the first letter came.

Harry Potter

Cupboard under the stair

# 4 Privet Dr.

Since then, the family had been on the run. First just out of town, then deep country, and finally off the grid. Harry was bundled up in the raggedy quilt watching the digital clock run down to Midnight. As the clock turned over, Harry smiled to himself. "Happy Birthday Harry Potter."

No sooner then words were out of his mouth, there was a minor pop. Like when you yawn to adjust the pressure in your ears. Then the door shuddered as if hit by a truck. And Again. On the third hit, the door toppled like an Irishman after 3 am.

A great bear of a man squeezed into the room, just as Uncle Vernon tumbled down the stairs with a shotgun.


three hours later, Harry followed the massive man, he now knew as Hagrid up the docks to a Motorcycle. While the bike was big compared to others of its style, it was as if a toy when the 'Keeper of Keys' swung on, picked up his goggles. Harry climbed into the sidecar, and the Bike roared to life. It was as if they were racing the sun to London, little did young master Potter know, they were.

Pulling into a shady alley, Hagrid killed the engine, and parked the bike. Leading the boy to the door of the run-down tavern, He ducked to squeeze his massive bulk through the door. The place was built when men were smaller, so even Uncle Vernon would have to squeeze through that door. Seeing as it was just after 10 in the morning, the place had a few scruffy patrons, but the was no real noise, nor hurry.

"Ah, Hagrid! Your usual?" a jolly barman called out.

"No thanks, just taking young Harry here shopping for school supplies." Hagrid boomed back

the place went quiet. "Bless my soul, its Harry Potter!" the barman called out.

But before anyone else could move, Hagrid had led the boy out the back door into a small courtyard. Harry was not watching the big guy as his head was looking back over his shoulder, until he heard the sound of bricks moving. He turned back just as the wall finished folding in on itself and opening up on Diagon Alley.

Harry rubbernecked all the way up to the great door of Gringotts Bank. Seeing for the first time the short creatures, identified as goblins, Harry nodded as he trailed close to the bushy bearded bear. As Hagrid spoke to the goblin at the desk, Harry took one more look about. Okay, so the little biters looked like they could chew through your limbs in a few heartbeats, but Harry reasoned that was just what he would want to watch over his money.

As Harry and Hagrid were led back to the carts, and deep into the vault-crypts, enjoyed the ride as only an eleven year old boy could. The ride was soon over, as the cart pulled into vault 687. Harry hopped out to help the small guy.

"Light please." the small guy, Griphook, if Harry remembered right, held out a hand. Hagrid passed him the lantern. The guy, goblin, walked with a minor waddle to the shiny knob. "Key please." Harry traded the key for the lantern. The key went in, and everyone could hear the tumblers click and rumble.

As the doors swung open on silent hinges, a pop caused everyone to turn and look.

There a goblin in a ratty dress, blinking owlishly at everyone. Loudly, Griphook started snarling and spitting at her, only for her to return just as fast. Four louder pops signaled the arrival of four larger goblins. One waved his hand, and Harry's vault swung closed. Griphook snarled at the largest who hooted and snarled back.

Turning to Harry, Griphook spoke in the calming tones of goblin English, "Sir, there seems to be an issue with your accounts. You and my sister are needed at the office of the Blood-Blotter. These four will take you."

"Okay. Thank you." harry bobbed at the small goblin that had guided him down here. Turning to the big man, "See you topside?"

"Yeah." the half giant grumbled.

With his key in hand, the Boy-who-lived vanished with all but Griphook.


Harry and the young female were left before the doors of an office. The doors looked like a cross of the 1950s American Office building and 1590's mid European castle.

"Hum, not bad." Harry commented. "High function, meets Defensive Style." The Door before him read :

Blood-Blotter

Bloodlines and Inheritances

by appointment only.

Harry turned to look at the small hominid beside him. "Do we have an appointment?"

the goblin smiled at his joke, "If Not, we will soon enough."

true to her word the door lock popped as the knob turned. As the door opened on its own the gobliness led the way in.

"Ah, Hooktooth, Master Potter. So glad you could make it." A massive Goblin sat behind a even bigger desk. To the goblin's left was a large gem encrusted chalice linked to a crystal orb. "I see that there were some...irregularities in your simple accessing your school vault. Now that I have your file, I see that you and your Bloodline have a strong affinity for the unusual. Your great grandfather had a goblin secretary, paid from his personal vault. Even had a rider that linked that Klan to your bloodline. Your father and grandfather did not chose to have a secretary, but choose another race to bond too. Your father had a werewolf bodyguard/tutor, who is still being paid a stipend. They got away with it, because your great grandfather was still alive until your first birthday. By that time you were hidden under the Fidelius Charm. It seems that the contract has selected miss Hooktooth here."

the young gobliness began to wheeze. Harry put his hand on her shoulder, to steady her. Looking at the older goblin, "What is wrong with her?"

"em? Oh, she is just a bit over taken. The honor would have been given to her older brother, Griphook, but he chose to contract with the bank, rather then wait for you to show up. I need a drop or two of your blood, use the blade next to the chalice, nick a finger and drop the blood into the water."

Harry did as asked. As the blood dripped from his left forefinger...one...two...three, before he stuck it in his mouth. He looked at the goblin with an raised eyebrow. The goblin was busy peering into the crystal. A quill began to scribble out on the page next to the crystal lines of runes and marks that Harry could not make out.

"I see that you added more then the two drops. Good thing too, or we would have missed the deep blood link." the old goblin was making notes also. "Shall I contact your father's werewolf? I think he would be still interested in tutoring you."

"Yes please." Harry spoke quietly. "Just how is this all possible?"

the goblin snapped his head around. "what are you asking?"

"Until last night, I was told that my father was a drunkard, and my mom was..." he trailed off, swallowing before trying again, "Until last night I had been told that they had died in a car accident, but Mr. Hagrid became upset at that, and said something about a 'you know who'."

The old goblin squinted down at the boy-who-lived. "Hooktooth, you will need to instruct the boy in his family history as well as keep his personal books. It seems that the boy was kept in the muggle world. Mr Potter, you are the sole heir of the Ancient and Noble House of Potter. When you come of age in five years, you have many options you will be need be made aware of." he glanced at the blotter in front of him, "Do you have an account manager?"

"Don't I already have one?" young harry asked.

"Your last account manager died of old age three years ago, and because your accounts were not active, they were just shelved."

Harry looked at the gobliness at his side, and raised an eyebrow. She saw him looking at her, and shook her head. "No, It is too great a responsibility for a female of my age. Griphook might have been able to, but..." her voice trailed off into a squeak.

Looking back at the Blood-Blotter, "On the advice of my secretary, I name Griphook as my Accounts Manager, provided that the Bank can spare him."

"You do not demand him? You ask if the Bank can spare him?" the Blotter asked, his head rose, his eyes wide.

"Yes," Harry swallowed. "I trust the Bank to oversee all my House Accounts, and while I am unaware of just what is in my accounts, I am hoping that Griphook can look through the old files, and with the help of my advisers, lay out proper planing for my Financial Future."

the old goblin started to chuckle. "Good answer my boy." he scribbled a few more notes, and pushed a button on the tulip speaking cone "Griphook to report to the Blood-Blotter's office. Account Manager Griphook, I repeat, report to the Blood-Blotter's office."

a gentle rapping at the door, caused Hooktooth to scurry to the door and open it. The small goblin, just a few inches taller then Hooktooth, that guided Harry into the depths, peered over her head at the older goblin behind the desk. He chirped at the older goblin, who glared back.

"Mr Griphook. It is impolite to speak in gobbledygook in front of your contracted Account holder. I did call for you, and yes, I gave the proper title. You are now the Account Manager for the Ancient and Noble House of Potter."

the goblin's eyes widened and almost popped from his head. He swallowed, as he turned to bow to Harry, "I am sorry sir. I did not know that you were offering me such a great honor."

"Nothing to it." Harry extended his hand. "My secretary advised me that you would the better option. A young Manager would also work very hard to prove to both me and his superiors that he was the goblin for the job while an older gob would take the post as his due and flake on me."


An hour later saw Harry and Hooktooth stepping out into the lobby. Harry was now carrying small sack filled with gold and silver, and Hooktooth had a small binder tucked under her arm. Seeing the giant bear of that brought him to London, Harry grinned before running up to the shaggy beast of a man. "You waited for me, Hagrid?" at the mans nod, Harry turned to Hooktooth, "This Hagrid, He gets a the next opening on my appointment book, no matter who comes after him. He is even higher then Griphook."

Hagrid frowned as the gobliness nodded and made a note in her book. "'Arry, what is this?"

"Hagrid, May I introduce my secretary, Hooktooth." Harry grinned up the man, "If you can not get a hold of me right away, she will know where I am, and how to get in touch with me." turning to look at the small female, you have the list of things I am going to need?" at her nod, "Lets go shopping."

Hagrid led the way out, leading the boy-who-lived to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, but due to his size could not enter. Harry looked in, and saw a white haired boy being measured, as his duel-haired mother stood at hand sorting through the robes on the rack with a distasteful look on her face... the high pitched boys voice as he spoke down to the witch adjusting his robes soured Harry's interest.

"Hagrid, let us go else where first, I find the customers there...Not my kind of people."

Hagrid raised an eyebrow and peered into the shop. "Oh, then it is to Ollivanders Wand Shop, I guess. Best wands in all of England." and the lumbering hulk plowed off into the crowded street. Harry and Hooktooth trailing along.

As they came to the door, Hagrid excused himself to run a minor errand. As the door clicked shut behind them, a bushy hair man popped out of the shelves behind the heavy desk. He glared at Hooktooth. "We can not serve your kind, Please leave."

"Excuse me." Harry spoke up. "Why can you not serve us?"

The man looked at Harry Potter. "It is against the law to make wands for or sell wands to Goblins, Elves, and other non-wizards."

Harry looked at the young gobliness. "Hooktooth, are we getting a wand for you too?"

Her chin came up. A snarl that showed many of her namesake, "No Master Potter. I am unable at this time to use a wand." she spoke to Harry, completely ignoring the human behind the desk. "I would need another fifty years of study before it would be anything other then just another stick in my hand."

Looking back at the human. "Seeing as I am the only one purchasing a wand, there should be no need for my secretary to leave my side. I was told this shop had the best wands in England. But if they..."

"Sorry, Mister Potter." the grey shaggy haired human smiled at the boy-who-lived. "I was just making sure that the Law was upheld. If she is here with you, I see no reason I have to have her leave. Shall we begin?"


An hour later found the pair out on the steps, casting about for Hagrid. Harry's wand; 11 inches long, made of holly with a phoenix feather core, was in a dragon leather wrist holster up his left sleeve. While Harry had no knowledge of how to use it, Hooktooth had already scribbled a note to contact his father's tutor. Hagrid once more plowed through the traffic of the street walking witches and wizards. In his hand was a cage holding a snow white Owl.

"Appy Birthday 'Arry." Hagrid thrust the cage into the boy's arms.

Harry was flooded with the joy of his first birthday gift, until he noticed Hooktooth's sad face. "You did not know that today was my Birthday, did you?" the Shy gob shook her no. "That is okay. Have we talked wages yet?" again the gob shook her head no. Pulling ten gold coins from his pouch, Harry handed them the young gob. "This is a zero interest loan. You will pay me back by the new year." turning to look at the owl, "So, Hedwig." he spotted the name tag on the top of the cage. "Now what?"

"Sir," Hooktooth spoke shyly. "the cage is mighty cramping for a bird of her size. No doubt she will prefer to ride on your shoulder so the cage can be stored. In-fact, I would trade the cage in for a stand, first chance I got, if I was you."

"Good idea." Harry popped open the door, and offered his arm to the owl. Hedwig hopped out and up to his shoulder where she nibbled his ear.

And so began the whirlwind shopping tour that was Harry Potter's first day in the Alley.

Six hours later, Harry drug his trunk into the Leaky Cauldron, followed by Hooktooth as she floated her smaller trunk along. Hedwig had been sent to deliver a letter to one R. J. Lupin about arranging some tutoring lessons for Harry. Harry had offered to buy Hooktooth her own 'Owl or what ever' but the young gob had held off stating that the young master did not need two owls just yet.

They had both gotten a full wardrobe update at Madam Milkin's, and had changed into everyday robes, so that Milkin could burn the rags. ("Really, to allow rags of that state to leave my shop as anything other then ashes is insult to my Name, my Reputation, and my Store!") the only store they had passed over was Quality Quidditch Supplies, and that was because neither one played quidditch.

Hagrid herded his two charges to a tabled in the back, and dropped his massive bulk into the booth. As the young couple stored their trunks, and climbed into the booth opossing the now revieled half blood giant. A service witch approached to take their orders, and Hagrid ordered three massive meals. As the witch was about to turn away, harry caught her wrist.

"I need to arrange logding for two for the next month." harry spoke quietly. The witch's eyebrows rose,

"I might be needing three rooms, depending on when my tutor will be arriving."

Tom the barman who must have had a charm cast to allow him to 'overhear' any and all conversations held in the tavern appeared at her side. "Go on girl, get them their food." as the witch scurried off, Tom

leaned forward. "Why are you looking for lodging?"

Harry gulped. "Because, sir, I need a place close enough to get to Kings crossing in a months time, but away from my muggle family. I fear that my returning to them right now would just upset things. This place feels homy, but not overly pricy. That and I am hoping that my fathers tutor will show up and ease my return to the wizarding world."

"And how will you be paying for this?" tom crossed his arms over his stained apron. When word got out that the boy-who-lived called his place homy, he could be a bit more selective on who he chose to board here.

"Just contact Griphook of Gringotts." Hooktooth scribbled down a note in gobbledygook. Passing the note to Tom. "That should cover three rooms with meals for a month."

Tom squinted at the note, before tucking it into his pocket. "Enjoy your meal, Bill will take your trunks up to your rooms by the time you are done."