The Best Deceptions

iv.
(a little pain behind every)
"it's okay"

...

Ginny's sure she's dreaming. She's lying in a soft bed, next to something – someone – very warm. His fingers rest on the side of her neck, just below her ear, and his thumb ghosts over a gash on her cheek. He's staring at her. His breath is hot in her face.

He's breathing, she realizes, as his touch sparks her to consciousness, awareness of him and the scratches, burns, and calluses on his hands. He did it. He saved us.

Then her throat constricts and she puts all her effort into continuing to feign sleep, keeping her eyes closed to prevent herself from crying.

He hasn't saved all of them.

And of course she's dreaming, of course this is a nightmare; this can't be real, can't be true, can't have happened. It's too much to hope for that he's here and too hard to believe that he's gone and she wants to wake up, she needs to wake up, he has to wake up –

She opens her eyes.

Harry's the first thing she sees, and right now he's about the most beautiful thing in the world, with the curtains of the four-poster drawn shut behind him and the sun trying to bleed through them; and it's funny, the only thing she's wondering is what time is it?

There's silence for a few moments and then, with strength she didn't know she possessed, she's holding back tears again as she realizes that it's not a dream and it's not a nightmare, this is real, his hand is really there, feather-light, on her face, and for another moment she just hurts in the bad way and in the good way all through her.

"Hi," he whispers, in a voice rough from lack of use. She contemplates, fleetingly, blowing up at him like he's no doubt expecting her to, but his eyes are still burning into her and they're all kinds of cracked and she can't pretend her heart isn't pounding for him, because they're so close he has to be able to feel it and she decides she just doesn't have the energy.

So instead it's just a murmured, "Hi," in reply, surprisingly steady; she notices their hands lying next to each other on the pillow, twists her still-aching wrist, and entwines their fingers. After a beat she says, "I missed you."

"I know," he says, and if he was anybody else it would come out very matter-of-fact (but he's not and it doesn't). "I missed you, too."

And then tears are shining through the cracks in his eyes and when he smiles, it's so broken Ginny doesn't think she'll ever be able to fix it.

"I love you," he says then, keeping the tears at bay, and it's like some sort of apology, some kind of reasoning for his actions even though she's never needed an explanation less, never understood more.

"I know," she echoes, trying to match his tone. She brushes some of his hair away from his temple and forehead, her thumb skimming over his scar. She's pretty sure she's the only one Harry's ever let touch it. "I love you."

There's silence while she plays with his ear, traces the line of stubble growing on his jaw.

"I'm sorry," and he pulls her impossibly closer, bending around her like he's trying to absorb her, pressing his face into her shoulder and taking deep, slow breaths because he doesn't want her to see him cry.

And she wants to tell him not to be, that it's not his fault, that he's a hero, but he's not, still, he's Harry and he doesn't want to hear any of this, he just wants to hear her heartbeat and that –

"It's okay," she whispers, even though, right now – holding him as though he's split into pieces and she has to keep all of them together until the glue dries – knowing her brother is lying dead downstairs and her parents have to arrange a funeral for him – it feels like her life is anything but okay.

"I love you," Harry repeats, and this time he's telling her to tell her so that she knows why it's okay – why he thinks it's okay, anyway – and she says it back and kisses him when he begins to shake and pretends she's not, too, because even a hero needs a little saving sometimes.

a/n: this one only took me a million tries to get right, but i ended up happy with this version - very happy with it, actually - even though i realize this might be the saddest of all four. okay, almost definitely is.

i think i've written too many harry/ginny reunions. but in my mind, this isn't exactly their first reunion, just their first somewhat-moderately-coherent conversation.

so. this marks the end of the story. happy midday-saturday update, everyone, and if you haven't reviewed yet, i would love you sososo much if you would on this last chappie.

thanks so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it. :)

(i think i'm posting another h/g something later today, so if you want to read some mostly-fluff, look out for it. ;D)

~whispered touches

disclaimer: i do not own harry potter. it belongs to jk rowling. no copyright infringement is intended.