AN: So this is written from the Insane Table from joss100 chanellnge promt tables. its Firefly based with a little hinted crossovers in almost every chapter, you get extra points if you notice them and comment. you'll get SUPER EXTRA points if you review.

most of em are pretty short and i'm too gorram lazy to open Google translate to translat stuff into Chinesse, so theres none 'o that in here. yet.

as for pairings, they shall be stated in the chapters, but the one character they ALL HAVE IN COMMON in Simon Tam so, know that. Goodnight, and Goodluck.

Big Damn Heroes and Shiny Bad Guys

he·ro (noun) [héerō] (he·roes) 1. someone who commits an act of remarkable bravery. 2. someone who gets other people killed.

Chapter 1:

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict

Simon/Jayne (ish).

We Tigers/Animal Collective

Never, NEVER again. Never again would Simon go ground side with Jayne on a planet who's national plant was a purple mushroom. Nor would Simon get drunk, get into a game of truth or dare, pick dare, and eat said mushrooms just to prove to Jayne that he was manly…. or something… no Simon would never eat those funny purple mushrooms again because at the moment he was witnessing something that could either be real, a hallucination, or just a very, very strange dream.

He was mostly naked with strange blue designs painted on his skin. In the light from the fire, the cave look incredibly large with mysterious corners and sharp craggily walls that Simon really, really didn't want to run into. Now, Simon is a very smart man so naturally he should know that it was impossible that there were Picts, a late Iron-Age tribal members from Earth That Was, dancing with him while several species of small furry animals banged drums and wailed into pipes to create hauntingly melodically music that Simon could feel in his very soul. Like blood, like muscles, like sinew. And even if it was impossible, it was incredible fun watching the fire jump with the steps of the Picts, with he rise and fall of the animal's voices. So fun that after awhile Simon even joined in, jumping with them, following their lead in an exotic river dance that involved lots of jumps and twists and eventually Simon lost his boxer briefs but he didn't care and then he was dancing with one of the boys, a shorter one with a large beaklike nose and bright eyes and a tiny frame. Simon was fairly sure they kissed. Just he was also fairly sure that there were rabbits singing.

::

Mal stood in front of the cave entrance surveying the problem before him. He had an inebriated-by-laughter mercenary at his elbow, a shocked first mate at his other, and a naked, painted on, drooling, fast asleep doctor in the arms of another equally naked, painted on, drooling, sleeping man at his feet.

"Well." He muttered hands on his hips "this is…unexpected."

"He ate them damn mushrooms." Jayne wheezed his face twisted up in laughter "I just…." And his sentence was lost into a laughing fit.

"Right well." Mal decided squaring his shoulders "Get 'im back on the boat and don't tell Kaylee. Jayne."

"Why I gotta do it?"

"You ate the mushrooms too." Zoe told him with a smirk and a wink.