Title: DEFINING FEMININITY

Author: serene saber

Fandom: Detective Conan

Rating: T

Summary: It isn't easy for a girl to be a detective, especially a male detective. Running from ruthless hunters, hiding from perceptive best friends and fellow detectives while fending off perplexing advances from certain slippery thieves, Kudou Shinichi struggles to protect all she holds dear, including the One Truth and her own identity. Kai/Fem!Shin, gender bender, cross-dressing, AU.

Genre: Romance, Adventure, Friendship
Main pairings: KaiShin, one-sided HeiShin, one-sided ShinRan
Warnings: kinda-but-not shounen-ai, kinda-but-not shoujo-ai, not-so-surely het, gender bender, cross-dressing (in other words, generally gender confused), abused artistic license, snail-speed update (if you are lucky)
Disclaimer: I have no intention of stealing from Gosho Aoyama.
Just borrowing his Shin-chan and everyone else a little bit to fool around, yo.
Beta-reader: Sailorstar165 (Thank you so much, Sai-chan!)

PROLOGUE

The soft clicking of boots and high-heels resounded through the otherwise silent hall. It was late in the afternoon, and the orange light of the dying sun burnt through the glass windows, leaving deep shades in corners untouched. The air seemed to stand as still as it could, as if fearing to breathe in the faint whiff of chemicals and antiseptics lurking behind the closed doors of storerooms and laboratories. Yet, comfortably unconcerned with breaking this apprehensive stifling atmosphere, the two shadows continued to move leisurely toward the exit of the building, their jobs here satisfactorily concluded.

"So this is where the notorious APTX 4869 was born." The more slender figure in black began conversationally.

"...Yes, who would think such a normal-looking pharmaceutical factory is the manufacturer of that deadly wonder." The other, obviously more masculine mass answered.

"To think, an accomplishment of an eighteen-year-old genius put all of our traditional …protective measures to shame. And she won't stop there, will she?" The woman continued with a meaningful lift of the tone.

"... No, she won't be able to." Her companion hesitantly agreed again, understanding the implication behind her words, yet not where she intended to lead them. He really shouldn't let it trouble him, though. Her inner working was something few people could understand, let alone deal with.

He glanced sideways in an attempt of gauging her expressions, but didn't see anything besides the soft long blond hair which hid the features he knew were luscious and secretive as ever, he abandoned the half-hearted effort and kept his silence.

As he expected, she didn't need much of his input to speak again. "It's not like she has any place to turn to, anyway. Have you heard about her sister?"

Yes, he had. And she knew that. He answered her anyway. "Such foolish notion, retiring from the organization and beginning their lives anew? Well, she's got what she wished in the end, just without her darling little sister."

His companion chuckled at his cutting cynicism. "Losing it all and for nothing, is that what you want to say, my dear Calvados?"

Hiding the delicious shivers her whispering his name elicited, he bit his reply, "Don't you find it foolish too, Vermouth?"

She breathed out another sinful laugh, "Why yes, of course. But it is a bit cruel of you to say that to the young genius eavesdropping over there, isn't it ...Sherry?"

Surprised, Calvados turned back, staring at the dark corner on his left where a silhouette stepped out, the feature brightened under the now reddish sunlight. It was indeed Sherry, her hair shone blood red, her slender figure still cloaked in the white lab coat hanging to her knees. Her hands were hidden in her coat pocket, but the sniper's keen eyes could clearly detect the intense trembling of her clenching fists. She'd heard the whole thing, then.

Wondering if this was Vermouth's intention all along - one could never be sure with the famed actress, Calvados was more than content to let her handle this.

After a beat of silence, Vermouth drawled out with an air of a cat savoring its victory over the cornered prey, "How pleasurable meeting you here, Sherry. I've been wanting to congratulate you on your latest contribution to our organization. You're indeed your father and mother's daughter." She paused here for effect, and then, "Unlike your late sister," she added as if an afterthought. Calvados could almost hear the smirk of dark humor in her tone.

Sherry obviously could hear it too, yet all she did was glare at the older woman with flaring hatred, seemingly too furious to utter anything.

"Now that APTX has passed the last phase of experimentation with flying colors, it is fully authorized to be our ultimate measure." With one hand she tucked the straying lock of hair behind her ear, not hiding anymore the wicked amusement in her eyes. Vermouth leisurely continued, "We will need more of it soon. In fact, Anokata has great plans for it tomorrow night."

Ah yes, tomorrow night. Tomorrow night would be the night the Kudou's were obliterated. Calvados was not high enough on the chain of command to know the details, but it seemed the famous detective family had nosed a bit too deep into the affairs of the organization, and thus were decided to be dealt with for secret protection. Typical organization's fashion. There would be nothing left for clues, nothing that could be tracked back to even the smallest hint of the organization's existence. APTX 4869, obviously, was an excellent choice for this. It had already been tested on humans, enemies of the organization, and was confirmed to cause death without leaving a trace.

Vermouth turned away. She must have decided the conversation was over, with no need of input whatsoever from the other conversation partner. She sauntered toward the bright exit door, tossing over her shoulder a goodbye in the same mocking articulation.

"Keep taking care of your job, will you, Sherry? You know what will happen if you choose her way."

After throwing a final glance back at the still mute, still trembling young girl to make sure she wouldn't attack Vermouth in a mad, futile attempt at revenge, Calvados quickly followed Vermouth out.

So Vermouth did have something planned when she led him along like that. She wanted to warn Sherry off any desires to head down her sister's road of betrayal, didn't she? Vermouth was such a dangerous woman. He didn't mind that much though. He couldn't help it if it was exactly what enticed him to her like nothing else.

But did she really need to bait Sherry like that? Shaking his head, he dismissed the thought, taking it as another thing that he would find forever incomprehensible about Vermouth, and about women, in general.

Stepping out of the steaming bathroom, Vermouth padded barefoot to the velvet sofa of the hotel suite, her lush long hair and delicate neck still a little wet with moisture. A single bath towel snugly embraced her body's voluptuous curves, barely holding in the gently rising of her full bosom. Its length tantalizingly stopped just after sensually hugging her wide hips and perfectly round bottom, leaving out the milky smoothness of her thighs to be freely flirted with by the cool night air.

With an absent-minded yet elegant gesture she sat down with her legs crossed and lit a cigarette. This was one of the few vices she had and allowed herself to keep in her entirely too long life. The familiar smell of tobacco calmed her nerves, especially on days like these. Glancing back at her almost full ashtray, she exhaled another smoky cloud, leaning her head back against the sofa. Yes, especially on days like these.

If this had been a movie drama, and she had been its tragic female protagonist, she would have lovingly taken out a precious picture, sadly reminded herself of a past long gone, and maybe shed a few regretful tears for the people she once and still held close to her heart. But this was not a movie, and she was little better than an antagonist. All the evidences remotely hinting at her true identity had already been destroyed, even if they were just an old picture of her "mother" together with her best friend and some teenagers she met that one time.

That was a piece of the life she should have just gotten over but never did. Instead, she found herself going back again and again in the stream of memories, recollecting the bubbly laughing and sincerely buoyant chattering of Yukiko, whose company once upon a time had given her so much freshness and enjoyment. Then there was Angel, with her shy yet passionate purity, whose heartfelt tears were like a balm of salvation to Vermouth's frazzled, wounded soul.

And of course, there was Cool Girl.

A force of nature, she had thought that the first time witnessing the female detective's intellect onstage. Sharp blue eyes, sharp words, sharp mind and an even sharper will, the young girl of mere sixteen ruthlessly cut through the shameful deceit, as if it was just a pitiful scrap of worn-out fabric, leaving nothing but the naked truth behind. But that wasn't all - sharp ruthless truth was not all she had.

"I wouldn't understand the motives for killing a person, but...Why should there be a logical mind in saving a life?"

Standing protectively between her best friend and the disguised Vermouth, the detective had looked straight into the criminal's eyes with candid seriousness in her too blue eyes - seriousness that belied her sixteen year of age - and then spoken with words that pierced right through the criminal's heart. And when Vermouth's nerves were still sent fumbling by the words still ringing in the air, the young girl had helped her friend up and turned away, but not before calmly dissuading the gun holder from committing any more attacks.

The image of the young detective's back as she walked away with her best friend had burned into Vermouth's mind, with her straight hair gathered in a neat ponytail, simple boyish clothing and confident departing promise.

"However, I won't show any mercy if I ever see you again. I will prove your cumulative crimes and evil deeds with all evidences necessary. Trust me, I will put you in jail for good!"

The young detective's dauntless conviction should have been entirely worthy of a scoff, yet for some reason just made her earlier message more admirable to Vermouth.

"Why should there be a logical mind in saving a life?"

That was the last thing Vermouth had expected to hear from a detective with such dedication for justice. That was the last thing she had expected herself to clutch and cradle so dearly, as if that was her only saving grace in this suffocating world.

She never expected herself to be moved by something so flimsy and naive and on a whole so very sickeningly idealistic as that. But she was. And now sat she on this sofa, smoking one cigarette after another and trying to distract herself from what she alone didn't have the ability to change.

Tomorrow night, the Kudou's would be on fire. The organization would never rest until that task was completed and all the three members of the Kudou family were confirmed dead. Vermouth might be able to postpone the inevitable once, at best twice, but the third time, she would not. She would be dead before trying.

What she could have done, she did, and now she would have to console herself with just waiting.

The Kudou's will be on fire tomorrow night. Will you be too, Cool Girl?

Will Fate abandon you, or will She stay by your side?

I have given you my help, now the rest depends on you. Show me what you can become, Silver Bullet.

.

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AN: Thanks to Sailorstar165 for fixing this chapter! Other mistakes unfixed are all mine, and I'll be glad to correct them if you just tell me where. :D

Chapter 1 is nearly done, so you guys can expect it in a week. I'm not a native speaker and not the fastest of person, so my writing speed will be worse than a snail, sorry for that. And because I'm not a native speaker, I really need your feedback. Feel free to tell me what you think or whatever you want. (Yeah I'm just into this and already a slave to reviews. XD)

Thank you for reading!