This is it. The final chapter. I'm a little teary eyed, to be honest. Thank you, thank you to everyone who reviewed and to all the people who gave me OCs and everyone who read and support me for so long. I really, really appreciate it. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter! :)

Update: Thanks for pointing out that little error, Blossom the Cellist :)

"I… Should probably go," Jayfeather said slowly. "But thank you for telling me."

Spottedleaf nodded, then called to him as he turned to leave. "Jayfeather? You… Are you okay?"

He smiled a little at her seemingly small question. "No," He replied truthfully. "But I'm getting there."

They kept asking if he was okay. And he kept saying no. Not yet. They just smiled and nodded their understanding, willing to give him time to recover fully.

But how long was long enough? He wasn't sure. He's been away from Breezepelt for almost half a season now and still the nightmares floated just beyond his eyelids. His Clanmates still looked at him like he was made of glass and the wrong word could cause him to shatter.

Maybe that was what lead him to the edge of the lake that night.

It was dark, he knew that much. The rest of the Clan had gone to sleep for the night, leaving only him and Blossomfall, who was guarding the camp that night, awake. He slipped out through the dirtplace, knowing that if he left in the middle of the night it would be reported back to his siblings and he'd be interrogated about his midnight adventures. And he just didn't know how he'd explain it. What do you say when the only answer is, "It seemed like the thing to do?"

So he avoided being seen or smelt until he was far enough to be sure that no cat would find him.

His sightless eyes stared at the water, silently considering it. Part of him knew that it would be a stupid, selfish thing to do. Jumping in would mean abandoning his Clan. His family. And after all the effort they went to bringing him back he at least owed them his life. For a while.

But the other part of him… It just wanted to do it. No more thinking. No more pain. StarClan cats felt no pain, did they? The pain went away after you died; at least he'd always assumed it did. Why else would a cat give in to death if they remained in pain? What did he really have to live for, besides obligation?

He wondered if they'd find him, or if he'd sink to the lake floor like Flametail. How fitting. The cat he couldn't save was the cat he'd spend the most time with after his death.

"What are you doing?"

Jayfeather turned quickly, surprised that someone else was out.

"Lilypaw?" He asked, frowning. "What are you doing out here?"

"Look at the water," She answered simply. "It's pretty."

"Is it?"

"Yes," She replied. "It is."

They stood in silence for a moment. But not awkward, stuffy silence. It was comfortable. Like they were old friends who could simply enjoy each other's presence, rather than two strangers who knew of each other.

"What are you doing?" She repeated.

"Thinking."

"Oh. About what?"

"Nothing. Everything. I don't know."

"Isn't that confusing?"

"Yes."

"So why are you doing it?"

"Because I have to."

"Why?"

Jayfeather considered that. "I don't know." He answered honestly.

"If you don't know how do you know you have to do it?" Normally this would annoy Jayfeather, but tonight… Tonight was different. The questions didn't bother him. They intrigued him.

"I don't know."

"What do you know?"

What did he know? "Not much." He decided.

"Ferncloud says you're a medicine cat, and you're wise and strong and that she doesn't care what the rest of the Clan says."

Jayfeather smiled slightly, flattered by the she-cat's indirect praise. "I don't know about strong," After all, if he was so strong like everyone kept claiming why was he out here?

"I think you're strong," Lilypaw said.

"How would you know that?"

"I don't know."

Jayfeather snorted. "We don't know anything, do we?"

"I guess not." Lilypaw laughed softly.

Jayfeather considered the apprentice for a moment. He'd only seen her around camp, never really paying attention to her. But he knew she was smart and a good learner.

"What do you know about herbs?" He asked.

"I know about the basic stuff, like marigold and dock leaves," She replied. "But not that much."

He turned his blind eyes to her. "How would you like to know more?"

Lilypaw paused for a heartbeat for answering. "I think… I think I'd love to."

"Come on," He said, turning in the direction of camp. "We can talk more about this in camp."

Maybe he'd found something to live for.

. . .

Dovewing woke with a start, her ears instinctively perking and listening. But all was calm. The Clan was safe. She relaxed, her fur brushing against Bumblestripe. She pulled away instinctively, then immediately felt guilty. Bumblestripe was her mate, she shouldn't flinch away from him.

Tigerheart flashed through her mind, followed by a surge of anger.

No, she told herself, don't think about him. He'd hurt her. He'd killed a part of her. A part that could never be repaired.

So why did she still ache for his presence? Was she so messed up that she could fall in love for a killer? She looked over at Bumblestripe. His eyes were shut and his face peaceful. He loved her so much, she knew that. And he was so… Patient. He knew that she had to leave. And he was willing to wait. Sometimes she wondered if she deserved him.

Slowly, she relaxed and pressed herself against him. Yes, this felt right. This was where she was meant to be. Next to the tom that really loved her.

. . .

Cinderheart inhaled slowly, taking in Lionblaze's scent as he scooted closer to her in his sleep. She loved him, she had for a long time. She couldn't believe that she'd been so foolish and refused to be with him in the beginning. They needed to cherish the time they had, not worry about what it might cause.

She was glad they were together now.

"Cinderheart?" Lionblaze murmured, eyes blurry with sleep.

"Yes?"

"Is everything okay?"

Cinderheart thought for a moment, slowly looking around the warriors' den. The majority of the Clan was there. Dovewing and Bumblestripe were lying together on the opposite side of the den. Ferncloud and Dustpelt had their tails intertwined, Dustpelt pressed against his mate protectively. Berrynose and Poppyfrost were together, a content smile on each face. Hollyleaf and Mousewhisker were near each other, neither seeming to notice or care that their paws were touching.

It was peaceful. It was safe.

"Yes," She answered softly. "Everything is fine."

. . .

Did Jayfeather ever fully heal? No. His limp stayed with him for the rest of his life, but no cat would ever say it slowed him down. Especially after Lilypaw became his apprentice.

At last he made his peace with the events of late. Yes, he'd suffered but he considered himself lucky. His brother was surprised to hear this.

"Lucky? Jayfeather, I'd say your luck was pretty horrible." Lionblaze said, looking at his brother skeptically.

Jayfeather shrugged. "I like to think that I've had good luck. Breezepelt could have just killed me, but he didn't. He gave you guys enough time to find me and bring me home."

"He tortured you."

"I know," Jayfeather replied, rolling his eyes. "I just feel like it could have been worse."

"Jayfeather,"

"I refuse to act like I've lost everything!" Jayfeather snapped, cutting the other off. "I won't be the victim anymore. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being pitied. I'm sick of being angry. I just want everyone to accept it and move on."

Lionblaze looked at his brother. A moon ago he wouldn't have dared interrupt him. But now? Now he was arguing and snapping at people. It was true; something had been lost in Jayfeather. But it certainly wasn't his aggressive personality.

"Okay," Lionblaze said at last. "You're right."

Jayfeather turned his blind gaze to his brother. "Really?"

"Yes, really. If you want me to forget about it then it's forgotten."

Jayfeather smiled in relief. "Thank you."

"No problem. Now, don't you have an apprentice to teach?"

Jayfeather snorted. "And don't you have kits to worry about?"

Lionblaze grinned. It was true. Jayfeather had recently informed them that Cinderheart was expecting. "Good point."

And with that, the brothers turned and walked away from each other, letting themselves become wrapped up in the duties and stress of Clan life. Because they were all safe. After so long, so much fighting and much more death, the Clan was safe. Lionblaze would raise his kits in a peaceful time, and Jayfeather would train an apprentice with only the faintest ideas of violence.

At last, everyone was safe.

fin