Hey guys! So this is my first atempt to write a fanfiction. I hope you like it and I would love to get some reviews! Just read it and let me know what you think. Please note that I am not a native english speaker so I apologize for all mistakes in this chapter.

I don't own Supernatural.

Note:

Sign language

„Sign language and speaking"

„Normal talking."

Chapter 1

Sam stood in the door frame and watched his brother Dean. He had a big smile on his face which wasn't a miracle because Dean was under the old and dirty motel bed, the only thing Sam could see of him was his butt. He could see that his brother was in trouble, it was obvious that he was stuck under the bed. Well, that much about the topic fast food all day doesn't take consequences with it. But Dean always shut down when Sam wanted to talk to him about that topic. Some things just never change.

Dean had been stuck there already a few minutes and Sam knew he would have to his brother, although he would be totally embarrassed about the fact that his little brother had to rescue him from a motel room bed. Sam was sure, that Dean would have already called for Sam, if he could hear him. Probably he was yelling nevertheless and called the bed a freaking idiot. He yelled at it for being so small and near to the ground and he yelled at the motel owner for not buying better beds.

But Sam didn't want to rescue his brother yet. This view was just too awesome to destroy it so fast. Dean stuck under the bed... He could annoy him with this for like forever.

A few minutes later he decided that is was enough and went to the bed to help his brother. He pulled at his legs while Dean moved like hell which made the whole attempt even more difficult.

Sam rolled his eyes and beat Dean at his back. Dean understood. Because he was stuck under this bed he couldn't really communicate with his brother. Sometimes hearing would be very useful. So he just laid still under the bed while Sam pulled at his legs although it was very hard for Dean to just lay there on the ground. Suddenly he was free lying on the floor trying to catch a breath. He didn't know how long he had stuck under the bed but it was definitely too long. He turned onto his back and tried to get rid of the mist that had laid under the bed. Damn, the last time since somebody cleaned it but have been years ago.

Sam knelt down beside him with a really stupid smile on his face.

„Stop with this stupid smile, I'm going to get a headache because of it. And don't you dare to say anything! "

Dean signed with his hands, so Sam could understand everything he said. Although he knew sign language nearly as well as Sam he was still talking out loud what he signs. It was just an old habit and he knew that Sam always tried to keep up with his lip reading so it was absolutely kind of him to talk and sign at the same time.

Sam had been deaf since the age of one. When he turned 1 and a half years their mother burned in their old house. John Winchester, their father could rescue Sam and Dean but for Sam it was nearly too late. He was hurt badly before his father could take care of him and somehow lost his hearing.

The doctors couldn't exactly say what caused Sam's deafness but it was clear that nearly his whole ear canals were totally damaged. He couldn't hear a single thing. And he never would hear a single thing again.

So Sam grew up in total silence. He could sleep next to a beat box. Dean could turn on his music in the car as loud as he wanted to and together they always watched movies with subtitles on.

It was a total normal way of living for both of them. It was what they used to, they grew up with it. In Dean's eyes there was nothing strange about Sammy's deafness. Of course he sometimes wished Sam could hear things like music and so on. But who doesn't?

Sam didn't know anything different. He was okay with it. Well most of the time. Every time when Dean and his father went hunting and he was left behind he wished he could hear. He always tried to convince his father to allow him to go with him. But it was hopeless. He always lost. Dean couldn't do anything either. He made a few attempts to convince their father as well but he couldn't stand against his father.

John always said that Sam couldn't have their back in a hunt and that would be too dangerous for all of them. He nearly spoke it out loud. But Sam and Dean both knew that he was thinking this way. Dean tried to act like he didn't know but Sam turned away from their father.

John couldn't deal with Sam's loss of hearing. In his eyes it was dissipation. He was pretty good at research and he knew that he was trying very hard to fulfill his father's expectations. But he would never be a real hunter.

2 years ago Sam and his father had the biggest fight ever. They always fought a lot but they never discussed one fight out or even solved the problem. John didn't know sign language and in fact he even hated that language. He always talked with Sam throughout Dean. When Sam started to fidget very fast with his hands he always turned his back to him and went away. He was always annoyed by it. He hated sign language. That fact made Sam very angry and he was hurt because his own father didn't accept his language. He didn't even try to get along with his son. He always turned his cold shower towards his youngest son. John didn't know that Sam could read lips. It wasn't that much but he could understand a few words from people he knew very well.

The biggest fight happened when John and Dean wanted to go on a hunt for some ghouls who were in that town for a few years killing people from time to time. That day John said something his youngest son would never forget and pushed him away for good. Sam stood in front of him and tried to make him understand that he was capable of going to the hunt with them.

At some time John had enough. He wanted to go. Every second they talked here the ghouls could kill another person. "Sam stop it! Dean get your things and then let's go. We cannot afford to lose more time." Dean looked from Sam to his father. He hated it that he was always right between the fronts. Sam was his little brother. He had to protect him. On the other side was his father. Who was… well… he was his father!

But when he saw Sam's sad puppy look he took one last try. "Dad, I'm sure Sammy can do it."

John turned around.

"You listen to me ne now son. It's enough. I'm fed up with this. I don't want to explain myself all over again every freaking day. When I say, Sam will stay; he is going to stay here. You understand? I cannot afford to take care of him while we're on a hunt! You know that! He cannot have our back but we would have to have his! He would be a weakness for us. He would take us in danger. He would ruin everything if he came with us! I bet he would start again with the fidgeting with his hands and get the ghouls attention with it! Or he would go through the forest like an elephant when he's supposed to be quiet! He cannot help us on the hunt so he's going to stay. Dean, he has nothing to do on a hunt. He isn't a hunter. He'll never be! He would be a burden for both of us!"

Dean stopped breathing. He always suspected that his father was thinking like that but he had never thought he would say it out loud. And definitely not right in front of Sammy. John was already out of the room and Dean hear , that the car had been started.

He turned to Sam who looked with wet eyes towards the open door. "Sammy, I…." Dean started to sign but he stopped instantly when he heard his father was screaming for him. He sighted and turned again to Sammy.

"We're going to talk about it later, alright brother? See you later!" With these words he turned towards the door and ran to his father. No single minute later the truck was gone.

Sam stayed alone in the dirty motel. He didn't understand everything his father had just said but it was enough to prove what he was thinking his father thought all the time. His dad hated him. He hated him because he was deaf. Useless. And never a hunter.

On this day Sam disappeared. When Dean and his father returned from the hunt all of his things were gone as well as the Impala. Later on they found they found the Impala at the airport with Sam's mobile phone in it. They didn't have a clue where he went. Nobody could tell them where he went. Nobody had seen him.

The next 2 years after that fight they hadn't talked a single word. Until one day when Dean was alone on a hunt in Boston he receives a SMS from his brother. "Stanford University. Come and pick me up."

Dean immediately drove to Stanford and finally he knew where his brother had been the last few years. He should have driven to Arizona to solve a case his father had given him because he didn't the time. He was in Canada with a few other hunters.

But Dean didn't care. He missed his little brother like hell and he knew that something must have happened. Otherwise Sam wouldn't have sent that message after two years without any contact.

When Dean arrives in Stanford he decided to ask himself the way to Sam. Everybody seemed to know his brother. He seemed to be very famous in Campus and everyone seemed to like him. But everyone Dean asked had a sad look on his face. Dean stopped in front of a house which was typical for students. He rang the bell and waited until a typical student with glasses and no shirt over opened the door. "Yeah?"

"Hey I want to see my brother. Some guys told me he lived here. His name is Sam Winchester."

The guy said something Dean couldn't quite catch and pointed with his head towards the stairs.

Dean went up the stairs and slowly opened the door. Sam was sitting on his bed, his face turned towards the window. Dean closed the door and slowly went to his little brother. He put his hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam hesitated and jumped up but when he saw that his brother was there he stood up and hugged him. He hugged him so tight that Dean was afraid he would break all his ribs.

"Hey, man it's alright. What happened?" He tried to get rid of Sam so he could talk to him. He was very happy seeing his baby brother again but he immediately notices that something was definitely wrong with him. Sam looked away from his brother. He looked terrible. Like one time through hell and back again. He had big shades under his eyes and he looked like he had cried a lot in the last few days. He held up his hands to talk to Dean. Dean noticed that one of his brother's hands was bandaged. Carefully Dean took that hand and said:"What the hell happened with you?" He didn't try to sign with one hand. Singing with one hand was something Sam was way better than him. He knew that his brother would understand him nevertheless. Sam looked down and started to talk. It took longer than usual because he was only capable of using one hand to sing. But at the end Dean knew what had happened.

A few days ago a fire started in the flat he shared together with his fiancée. He didn't have a clue how it could happen. There wasn't something wrong with the electric and there weren't any lit candles. Jess died in the fire. She was stuck at the ceiling. Sam tried to rescue her but the firemen came and got him out of the house. He had only burned his hand while Jess had died such a cruel death.

That was one week ago and both brothers were about to hit the road again.

Sam didn't want to stay at the place where his fiancée had died. There was just too much which remembered him of her. He was restless and he had a clue that the fire hadn't started by accident in their flat.

It couldn't be such a big contingency that Jess had died the same death like his mother all those years ago.

Dean was happy his brother was with him again. Although he knew that Sam wasn't feeling well – hell, who wouldn't – he found it hard to hide his good mood. He had his baby brother back. The only thing he had to promise was to not call their dad and tell him about what happened.

So what were you looking for under the bed? Sam asked while Dean tried to get up.

"Huh?"

Sam sighted and repeated what he had just singed because his brother was paying attention right now.

"My god damned mobile phone fell under that really disgusting bed! They didn't clean it for about thousand years! At least!"

You already tried to eat a little bit less hamburgers and stuff like that? I heard something that it could help to eat an apple from time to time.

Sam still smiled. Dean started getting angry. He hated it when someone tried to correct his eating habits. But before he could say something cruel to his brother to pay him back for his freaking smile he noticed that it was the first time in years he actually heard his brother laughing out loud. He always loved to hear his smile because it didn't happen very often. Most of the time Sam only laughed quietly. Sam never took speaking therapy so he couldn't really talk. They were never long enough at one place to sign up for therapy and it wasn't like their father even cared. Another aspect was that John couldn't pay it. His whole money was spent for guns and all the other stuff they needed for the hunt.

The only things Sam could say where his own name and Deans. He only spoke when he was alone with Dean. He didn't like talking because he knew that it doesn't sound right. Most of the time he was just quiet only making noise with his hands when he was pretty excited and told Dean something very fast. Dean loved those moments. He enjoyed hearing Sam's real voice. He would love to teach him how to speak but he didn't know how. To teach him those two named took very much time and had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

So Dean swallowed done the pay back and just showed him his tongue.

"That's none of your business little princess. Not everybody can be such a healthy guy like you."

Sam stared again to laugh out loud. That was typical for his brother. I'm just watching what I'm eating. A few burgers every day just isn't the best. Dean looked at him.

"Yeah maybe. But they definitely taste better than some horse food. And when you're on the road most of the time you don't have a choice. Most diners aren't specialized on healthy food. That's what makes diner so fast-food- like. You understand? I'm a victim!"

Sam disagreed by talking with his hands but Dean wasn't looking at him. He just wanted to clean himself from the mess that had been under the bed. He could swear there were some hairs which definitely came not from someone's head! This was disgusting...

He headed to the bathroom when his mobile phone rang. That phone with the emergency number. There were only three people in the world who had this number. Sam, Bobby and- his dad.

Slowly he walked toward his bag where his phone was inside. Sam looked at him with a big question mark in his face and stopped singing. He saw that Dean was searching for something in his bag and finally pulled out his top secret mobile phone. Curiously he went to him to try to read his lips to get to know what happened on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Dean, this is your father. Where the hell have you been the whole time? You should have arrived in Arizona long ago! You have a job to do remember?"

Dean made big eyes and there was only one thought in his head. No, please no. Not now. Not with Sammy right next to me.

"Dean?"

"Yes dad, I'm here."

Dean looked to his little brother who stared at his lips. Dean didn't know how good Sam had become in lip reading but he was sure that he could read the word "dad".

"Listen to me son. I need to count on you. You need to do what I tell you. You understand? If I say you're going on that hunt than you are going to do that hunt!"

"I got it, sir."

"So wherever you are right now you are going to go to your car and heed to Arizona. Now. You need to solve this job."

With these words he hung up. Dean was relieved. He had been afraid his father would have had a job where he would need him. And there was no way Sam would get along with that.

What did he want? Sam looked at him and singed impatiently. He won't come, won't he?

"Slow down, bitch. He won't come, alright? He has a job for me in Arizona."

Sam looked to the ground. He always knew that the next job would come. He never really was on a hunt although he knew just as much as his brother. Sometime he was allowed to go with them but then he had to remain silent in the car.

Although his father wasn't going to come with them he didn't know how Dean would deal with it. He knew that Dean didn't have a problem with his deafness but they never were together on a hunt. ..

Dean notices that Sam felt bad. He already had an idea why Sam was feeling that way.

He went over to Sam and patted him on his shoulder.

"So little virgin. Ready for your first hunt?"

Sam looked at him and started to laugh. How could he ever doubt his big brother?