Title: Petty Theatrics

Summary: Forced to sing for the Teitan Elementary School musical concert, Conan enlists the assistance of international showman Kaitou Kid to teach him how to perform, save he be revealed and humiliated for lack of vocal skill. With only a week to prepare, how can the thief teach this apparently tone-deaf detective how to sing without losing his hearing? Two-Shot, KaiCon

A/N: For reference:

Kaito singing

Conan singing

It's official. Shinichi really hated repeating elementary school.

How could he have forgotten about the musical concert?

"Hey, Conan-kun," asked Ayumi, "What are you going to do?" The Shounen Tantei looked at him expectantly as he played with his soccer ball.

"Uh..." What could he do? Why did he have to do this again?

Came the innocent question: "Are you going to sing?"

"No." Now that wasn't ever going to happen again. He shuddered at the memories of his last concert. If it wasn't from his status as high school detective, he was sure that he would have been banned from the auditorium. At least Matsumoto-sensei didn't file a restraining order. Now that would have been bad.

Why did he have to do this again? At least his parents weren't here to listen to him.

Unless...

No, she wouldn't. She couldn't...

She probably will.

"Fuck."

Everyone within the general vicinity gasped and Conan was grabbed at the ear.

"Conan-kun!" Of course Kobayashi-sensei would be one of those people. "If you are having problems trying to decide what to perform, you tell me. No reason to curse. Come inside right now."

Conan mumbled as he half-walked, was half-tugged inside to get a scolding.

Okay, so no scolding. Just something much, much worse.

"Ohhh God I am screwed," He muttered to himself while pacing on the roof of a building. "So very, very screwed."

"What's wrong, Tantei-kun?" That voice has the best timing.

"Not now, Kid. I'm waiting for Kid..." Conan mentally smacked himself at what he just said. "What took you so long? I've been waiting here for at least twenty minutes!" He yelled, frantically waving his arms in the air.

"Oh?" The phantom thief smirked as he held the stolen jewel in the air to the moon with no results. He put it back down, watching the little detective shuffle his feet. "What's got you so worked up?"

"Kid, I need to ask a favor of you." Conan cut straight to the point.

The magician raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

Conan's face was towards the floor when he asked, "Could you... possibly sing for me?"

Kid blinked at that request. "I'm sorry - I think I heard you ask if I could sing to you."

Conan nodded, still face down. "Please?"

The phantom thief smiled. "Well, if you insist." The thief took a breath before opening his mouth to softly serenade the shrunken detective a cappella.

"Saita no no hana yo

[The blooming wild flower]

aa douka oshiete o-kure

[ah, please tell me]

Hito wa naze kizutsukeatte

[Why do people fight]

arasou no deshou

[and hurt each other?]"

Conan's eyes were wide as Kid hummed the melody a little before starting the next verse.

"Rin to saku hana yo

[The gallantly blooming flower]

soko kara nani ga mieru

[What do you see from there?]

Hito wa naze yurushiau koto

[Why are people]

dekinai no deshou

[unable to forgive each other?]"

The smooth sound of his voice flowed seamlessly, the beautiful legato of his tenor voice continued to captivate the not-child as Kid traveled to the hook of the chorus.

"Ame ga sugite natsu wa

[After the rain, summer]

ao o utsushita

[turned bluish]

hitotsu ni natte

[as one]

Chiisaku yureta

[You trembled faintly]

watashi no mae de

[in front of me]

nani mo iwazu ni

[without saying a word]"

Conan was wide eyed as he watched the thief conclude his song. He ended it with stunned silence as a response before rapid clapping.

"Well I'm guessing you like my voice." He smirked once more.

"It's... beautiful..." Conan was breathless. He shook his head to focus. "Now for the second part." He stared straight into Kid's visible eye and monocle when he requested,

"Could you... possibly teach me how to sing?"

Kid blinked at the request before letting out a small chuckle, making the detective's face go red. "What's so funny?" He asked, not amused.

"I'm sorry - you want me to teach you how to sing?" He continued to laugh.

Conan nodded, still blushing. "That's right."

The white magician wiped his eye. "It's such a random request. What brought this up?"

"... Long story short, I've been assigned to sing at my elementary school for a concert. Even when I told them that I couldn't sing to save anyone's life..." He sighed.

"So..." Kid could put two and two together. "In order to save your reputation, you want me to teach you how to sing."

Really Conan wanted him to teach him so that Ran wouldn't find out his true identity. "...Yeah."

Kid gave it a few moments of thought before he smiled. "Alright, I'll do it. When is the concert?"

Conan couldn't believe what he just heard. "... In... in about a week. You'll really do it?"

"Sure, why not?" The thief shrugged. "Your reputation's at stake. But I would like something in return."

Conan blinked. "I can't pay you or anything..." Well supposedly he could... but he didn't want to do that. How would he explain it to his parents?

"Oh, it won't cost you much, don't worry." The magician winked. "You'll see. Anyway, how would you like to do this?" Conan blinked again.

"I didn't think that you would actually agree so I didn't think that far through..."

Kid placed his hand to his chin in thought. He snapped his fingers as an idea came to him. "How about this? Every day until the concert, meet me here as soon as school ends for you. You should be here at about four, and the lessons will end when I deem them to be on par with what I plan for your voice and song to sound like for your concert." He winked. "Sound good?"

Conan stuttered but nodded, "S-sure!"

"Alright then, we've come to terms." Kid held out his hand. "Let's shake on it."

Conan grasped his hand. "Thanks, I owe you one."

Kid smiled. "Oh don't worry - I won't forget your debt to me." They released hands and he tipped his hat before jumping off the building and flying away with his sky glider.

Conan watched his leave, smiling until he felt something in his pocket. He frowned as he placed his hand in his coat and in it found the stolen gem as well as a cell phone. He looked back as to where Kid was sailing away.

Well this ought to be an interesting week.

"Glad you could make it," said Ran, brushing her hair as a breeze flew by.

"R-Ran?" Conan froze as Ran stood up from the floor, scattering school books, and approached him. She knelt down and took his backpack from his shoulders.

"Of course it's me, silly Tantei-kun." Kid lowered his voice and winked. "Can't do this while dressed as Kid, nor am I willing to show you my true identity just yet."

"... Oh, right." How could Conan have forgotten?

"Alright then," The disguised thief tossed the child's bag aside. "Give me what you got."

Conan took a step back. "Wait, you want me to sing?" Kid nodded. "Like, right now?" He nodded again. "Like right now -"

"Stop stalling and sing already!" Kid exclaimed.

"B-but..." Conan's eyes darted around the roof. He sighed. "W-what sho-should I sing?"

Kid shrugged. "Anything is fine. Don't worry - I'm just making an assessment. Give it your best shot." He took a seat in an unfolded chair that popped out of nowhere and motioned for him to start.

Conan took a deep breath. "O-okay," his voice shaking, "H-here I g-go..." He took a breath and started,

"Donna toki datte -

[No matter what the time -]"

"Stop!" Kid shuddered. "Oh god that was terrible. Just terrible."

"Oh, gee, thanks." Conan twitched. "Look, can you not look like Ran while we do this?"

"Fine." He removed Ran's disguise and shifted into Heji Hattori. "Better?"

Conan stared at the familiar face and imagined him as his critic. "... No. Just no."

"Geez, missing the point here." He shifted to Kudo Shinichi. "How about now?"

Conan twitched once more. "... It'll do I suppose."

"Alright, now that that's dealt with, let's review. You cannot sing. At all." Kid emphasized that. "At. All."

"..." Conan twitched for the third time, wanting the floor to eat him as he watched himself critique himself.

Kid waved his arms in the air to attract Conan's attention, which he knew had left the area. "But! But, but," He said when he got it, "There is still hope!"

"Within a week?" The horrible singer was skeptical.

"Of course!" The Shinichi familiar smirked. "You have me for a teacher. And you're not too bad of a student as well. You cannot fail."

Conan remained incredulous. "Geez, thanks."

"No problem." Kid reached over to his own bag and removed various things, such as a baton (that looked like the Wind Waker, Conan mused), blank and filled sheet music, a music stand, as well as a keyboard that was bigger than the bag itself.

Well he wasn't a magician for nothing. And he certainly lived up to his reputation.

"Okay, so I'm going to play a few notes," The disguised thief said as he flipped on the keyboard. "Then I want you to replicate it. Think you can do that?"

Conan looked at him. "B-by sin-singing? I… I don't think I can do it..."

"Sure, sure," Kid waved him off as he played the classic C major scale on the keys before humming it himself. "Do, ri, me, fa, so, la, ti, do~!" He sang, smiling. "Now you."

"Uh… do, ri, me, fa, so, la, ti, do." Conan sang in perfect replication, in monotone however.

Kid was amused, now they were getting somewhere. "Hey, that was pretty good! Now try giving it some feeling."

Conan took a breath. "Do, ri, me -"

"Stop!" Kid covered his ears. "What was that?"

The trainee glared. "What you wanted me to do!"

"No, no no." Kid shook his head as something came to him. "... Do you play any instruments by any chance?"

Conan raised an eyebrow. "Violin. Why?"

"Do you have it on you?" Kid asked, dabbing his fingers in his bag to pull out a cup of pudding along with a spoon.

"Why yes I always carry around my violin with me whenever I go out on outings with an international infamous phantom thief. No, of course I don't have it!" Conan yelled at the bored thief as said thief opened his pudding cup and took a spoonful. Conan could only stare as Kid began to consume his dessert. "… What up with the pudding?"

"Look, I'm hungry, alright?" He answered in between mouthfuls, "Let me enjoy my pudding while I get a violin since you don't have one."

Conan was slightly disturbed at watching himself eat vanilla pudding. "How are you -" With a puff of smoke, a violin appeared in his arms. Conan rolled his eyes while the magician continued to eat his pudding. "Right."

"A magician never reveals secrets." Kid winked after his last spoonful of pudding. He tossed it back into his bag. "Anyway, I want you to play that song that I was singing yesterday on the violin, if you would be so kind."

Conan tried to figure out what Kid was thinking, but after a few moments decided to just do as he requested, knowing that he would be told in a moment after doing so.

He placed the instrument on his left shoulder under his chin, about to play, when he removed it from his person and tugged on the stings. He tuned it and placed it back under his chin. He began to play, gliding the bow over the stings as he played the song that Kid was singing yesterday, with the thief mouthing the lyrics as the music played.

When he finished the chorus, he handed Kid back the violin, who refused to take it and just clapped. "Bravo, bravo! Being able to play a song that you only heard last night!"

Conan blushed. "It wasn't anything special," he mumbled.

"Oh, you don't understand," Kid stared the violin as well as its player like it was a sacred combination.

"Lyrical is very different from orchestra." Kid closed his eyes as he tried to describe what he had just heard. "It was as through a sweet voice of eloquent splendor emerged from a vast sea of orchestral descendants. Like a flower blooming on a rainy day, your replicated serenade lifted my heart and guided it on a graceful harmonic journey. By following on your passionate lead from my own last night, the melodic backdrop awakened and ascended to a transcendent conclusion." He opened his eyes again and looked into Conan's, mirroring images staring at each other. "As far as you know."

Taken back by the poetic description of his violin playing, Conan could no longer look at his own face. "Well, it was sung beautifully," he muttered, face even more red than before to the ground.

"Why, thank you for the compliment. I think I know what the problem is." Kid smiled as Conan handed him back the violin, this time taking it back from him and placing it back in his bag.

"Look, I really don't care what it is. Can you teach me relative pitch or not?" Kid shrugged.

"We can try, but..." He took a good look at the shrunken detective. "We've got a lot of work to do."

A/N: Songs used:

Enterpe - performed by EGOIST (used in Guilty Crown)

Hikari - performed by Utada Hikaru (used in Kingdom Hearts)