Title: The Melodramatic Assumptions of Rachel Berry

Characters/Pairings: Santana, Rachel, Puck; Puckleberry, Miketana mentions.

Summary: "He said he loves you? Why, the nerve of him! How dare he? That boy better watch his back because Auntie Tana is coming after him! No one says that to my best friend and gets away with it!"

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, no. I own nothing. One can only wish.

Rachel Berry took a deep breath and turned around to face the fierce Latina standing behind her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Can I help you with something, San?"

Santana raised an eyebrow, "Why are you avoiding Puckerman? I thought it was all rainbows and butterflies in Puckleberry land."

Rachel sighed and closed her locker before sliding down to sit on the ground with her legs outstretched in front of her. The Cheerio followed suit and looked at her friend expectantly.

"He told me he loved me."

The Latina gasped and held a hand in front of her mouth, "He said he loves you? Why, the nerve of him! How dare he? That boy better watch his back because Auntie Tana is coming after him! No one says that to my best friend and gets away with it!"

The tiny singer frowned, "San, how many times have I told you that referring to yourself as 'Auntie Tana' does not make you seem threatening? And don't make fun of me. I'm serious."

"Ugh, fine. Why exactly did that freak you out?"

Rachel suddenly jumped up and flailed her arms around, "That's making it real! If its real, he will leave."

"Rach, sweetie, he really does love you. Puck doesn't say things he doesn't mean. And he wouldn't leave you even if you begged him to. He's totally your bitch."

"Santana!"

"I know, I know, language, blah blah blah. But seriously, Rach, he meant it." Santana finished, slinging an arm around the girl's shoulders.

"Ay! Freshman! C'mere," The Latina shouted through the crowded hallway, pointing at a small boy by the water fountain. Said boy cowered and helplessly looked around for a savior. "Yes! You! Get over here before I tell Coach Sylvester you were the one who filled her desk with glitter!"

He ran over fearfully, "But it wasn't me!"

Santana smirked, "Yes, but she doesn't know that, does she?"

The boy's eyes widened and he looked at Rachel in terror. She felt bad for the boy, she had once been on the wrong side of the Latina's devious nature. If she wasn't so curious, she might have suggested running into a classroom to escape the Cheerio.

"Now, fresh meat, do you see the boy with the ridiculous haircut over there with the hot Asian?" Santana asked, pointing towards where Puck and Mike stood talking. Rachel elbowed her with a glare, but was ignored.

The boy nodded frantically, having decided to just do whatever the girl wanted over with and put the whole thing behind him.

"You will walk by him and declare—very loudly and very publicly—that you are going to slushy Rachel Berry," At this, Rachel looked at the girl in alarm, but she was, once again, ignored.

The boy gulped, but nodded again and started to walk away when Santana grabbed his collar and tugged him back, "Whoa! Wait a sec, fresh meat, I'm not through yet. You will not actually slushy Rachel. Got it? If you do, well, I'm from Lima Heights…"

"Got it!" The boy squealed, his voice an octave higher than it usually was, and trudged away to do the devil's bidding.

"You do realize you live in a very safe neighborhood with a security system, right?" Rachel asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ssh! If that gets out, my reputation will be ruined! Now, hush and watch the show," the Cheerio ordered, tugging Rachel next to her.

So, the tiny singer frowned, but observed the scene in front of them. The boy, still shaking slightly, walked by Mike and Puck and yelled, "I'm going to slushy Rachel Berry!"

All conversation in the hall stopped and before she knew it, her boyfriend had the freshman pressed up against a locker and a scowl on his face.

"If you so much as mention my girlfriend's name ever again, I will end you. Don't look at her, don't talk to her, and most definitely do not slushy her. Clear?" Puck threatened through his teeth as he held the boy off the ground, his feet dangling in the air as he squirmed.

Nodding frantically, the freshman managed to choke out, "Clear! Clear! She made me do it!" while pointing at Santana in a desperate attempt to not get killed by the quarterback.

Rachel cringed, bad move. Apparently the Latina agreed for as soon as Puck put him back on the crowd, she was chasing after him angrily.

"Dang it! Fresh meat! Come back here!" She heard before her attention was taken by her boyfriend leaning against the locker next to her.

"Hi."

"Hey, babe," Puck smiled fondly down at her and she just couldn't help it.

"I love you, too!" Rachel blurted before covering her mouth with her hands.

But her boyfriend just laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "Well, that's good. I was wondering how long it would take you to figure out."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but smiled affectionately and stretched on her toes to kiss him properly.