One Shot

-I don't own BTR-

Warm autumns in Minnesota was warm, and often times a complete surprise. The merry people of St. Paul would rise from their double beds, pull down their floral print quilts, then rise to greet what they expected to be a typical day. Then, they would notice that the sun was peaking through the clouds, smiling and greeting them with a cheerful good morning, and the day would begin. That was, of course, if you were an adult. For children, a warm autumn meant a long day of school, and staring with longing looks out of a tiny, smudge, glass window. It seemed to reiterate the old adage that school was like prison for children. They would sit through chemistry, and lunch, just waiting for the bell to signal the end of the day. At 3 o'clock, they were run from their dreary classrooms out into the accepting sun light. They would gather their friends, frisbees, or whatever it was they wanted to play with, and take in the beautiful nature of Minnesota's wilderness. It was the perfect, last chance, for the not so forgotten excitement of summer to come back, just one last time, before the cruel harshness of winter set in. The older children would sit in the park, some with friends and some alone, thankful for the beautiful day that they were given by a generous God.

"I'm James Diamond." a blonde boy, with bottle green eyes looked up into the sun. Standing before him was a tall boy, about his age, with long dark hair; his eyes were covered by mirrored sun glasses. Kendall Knight marked the page of his book, and sat it down. The boy was obviously knew, and a biting, nervousness made its way into Kendall's thoughts. New people always made him nervous.

"Who are you?" James asked, after a moment had passed and Kendall had simply been staring at him. Kendall cleared his throat, but did not remove his beanie or his own sunglasses. He stood up, and extended his hand; which James took earnestly.

"My name is Kendall." came a simple, muffled reply. James' lips curled into a curious smirk, not at all satisfied by the answer he had been given.

"That's a nice name." James replied, "Do I get a last name? Or at least a hair color?"

Kendall gave him an odd look, but James didn't see it behind the sunglasses. He pondered the question for a moment, wondering if he should even bother getting to know the new boy. Against his better judgment, Kendall removed his hat and sunglasses. The glare of the sun caused him to wince, and his hair fell into his face. Kendall blushed, feeling like he looked like a mess. James' smirk grew into a smile.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" James' rhetorical question came in the most cheerful tone Kendall had ever heard.

"I guess it wasn't." Kendall grinned, but did not give a full smile. James sat on the ground, then patted it with his hand; signaling for Kendall to sit beside him. They spent the rest of the day discussing mutual interests, stunned that they had so many commonalities. As the day progressed, Kendall's defenses fell completely and he gave into every word that dripped from James' pretty mouth. It was the first time that he surrendered control to someone like that. James became his best friend.

The Los Angeles diner was dirty, dingy, but quiet and the cheeseburgers were incredible. There was a wooden, juke box behemoth in the corner, but no sounds of oldies music were blasting from the machine. In fact, the only sounds that could be heard was the sounds of the griddle, frying ground beef, and the wheels of the travel on the rain soaked roads of the city. The diner was not full, it was practically empty. In a lonely booth, sat a middle aged man who was surrounded by empty beer bottles. In a few booths in front of him was a young girl, surrounded by plates and college text books. In the most hidden booth of the restaurant, with only a warm bottle of beer, sat Kendall Knight. His green eyes were glossy, and far away. It was obvious to everyone who passed him, on their way to use the facilities, that he was tangled up in deep thoughts of something pleasant. They had no inkling that he was reminiscing about his first meeting with the boy who now, carelessly, held pieces of his heart. Suddenly, a loud clanging bang shook Kendall from his reverie, and he realized that he had been staring into space for the better part of an hour. Mentally cursing himself, he rifled through his military styled messenger bag and pulled out a tattered notebook. He did not come to the diner to stare, and waste time. He came because he had something he needed to get done. The something that has been referenced was actually a letter that he wanted to write, to James. He put his Bic pen to the paper, but the words did not come out. Kendall slammed his fist against the table, in frustration, and bit back tears of anger. He needed to write this letter to James; He needed to tell James how he felt. Not that it would do any good. James didn't give a damn about him, anymore. Defeated, Kendall packed his things and made his way for the exit. There was no use trying to explain something to someone who simply didn't give a damn.

"What's the matter, Jamie?" Kendall sat on the bed, giving him a pleading look. They hadn't talked in days, despite Kendall's attempts.

"Why would you think something is the matter?" James didn't bother looking up from the lyrics sheet he had been studying for hours. Kendall sighed, knowing that James wasn't going to hear him.

"Never mind." Kendall tried to smile, but it came out so sad and broken.

The walk back to the Palmwoods was cold, in every way possible. The windy wind bit Kendall's pale skin, turning his white cheeks pink. The coldness in his heart made him shiver, as he interrogated himself with the most harshest of questions. Why did you do wrong? What did you do to make him to caring about you? Why are you so stupid? Why doesn't he love me? The last question made tears spring up in Kendall's eyes again, but he forced them to go away. Now, in the cold darkness of Los Angeles, was not the time to become emotional. Besides that, he was finally arriving at the Palmwoods and he did not want his mother to see that he had been crying.

A few minutes later, Kendall was walking through the apartment; he was hoping to get to his bedroom before anyone could question his previous whereabouts. The damp jeans he was wearing, as he trudged up the long staircase, made him feel like he was a thousand pounds. He wet hair hung in his face, making him feel positively unattractive. It seemed that there was a lot that was making him feel unattractive, lately.

Before Kendall opened up to James, they had a great relationship. When James talked to Kendall, he seemed enthusiastic and genuinely interested. No, there seemed to be a disconnect between the two of them, and it was breaking Kendall's heart. He was positive that he had done something to cause James to stop liking him, he knew it had to be one of his personality quirks or maybe the way he looked. James was so perfect, next to him. He was in great shape, tanned to perfection, and quite tall. His hazel eyes were the most beautiful Kendall had ever seen, and he could see them when he closed his eyes. James was his friend, his confidant, his companion. Now, James was totally disinterested in Kendall, and Kendall felt more alone than he had in months.

The truth is, before Kendall and James became close, Kendall had had been in love with an old friend of his. Kendall spent day after day with this boy, but when he left Kendall was left with an empty broken heart. He was so young, but he felt he would spend the rest of his life feeling alone. When James said hello to him, in the park on that rare warm autumn day, Kendall finally felt like he could be okay. First, he got over the feelings he had for his friend, and then he moved on with his life. Kendall knew that the strength it took to let go came from the support he got from James, but now he was like a child who had lost their pacifier. He was lost.

At the end of the hallway, the light in James' room was on. Taking a deep breath, and a big chance, Kendall slowly walked down the hallway to the slightly opened door. Inside, he could hear James singing the lyrics to their latest song. The soft, melodious, sounds of James' lilting voice were soothing and familiar. The sounds provided Kendall with enough warmth to remember what being warm felt like, but not enough to be satisfied. His bottle green eyes fluttered shut, and he clutched his hand to his heart. Pain radiated through his body. His eyes were still shut when he pushed the door open.

"Hi, Jamie." He announced his presence with the tiniest bit of hope. Of course, James did not look up from his song sheet.

"Kendall." James' voice held no emotion, neither coldness nor warmth. Kendall walked into the room, but didn't sit down on the bed. His clothes were still wet.

"How are you?" Kendall's voice quivered slightly. James' lips pursed, and his hazel eyes darkened. If Kendall hadn't known better, he would have thought he wasn't welcome in James' room.

"I am fine, Kendall." James replied tersely, "Please, don't get my room all wet. "

"I won't." Kendall reassured. James did not respond this time, Kendall sighed in disappointment. This was the coldest that James had ever treated him.

"What's wrong?" James groaned, "What has you sighing, and wet?"

"I just want to know what I did wrong." Kendall answered, clenching his fists to stop the tears that threatened to fall, "Why do you hate me?"

"Why would you think that?" James asked in a monotone, still studying his paper.

"We don't talk like we used to." Kendall whispered, "We barely talk at all, now. I know you don't like me anymore, I just want to know why so I can fix it."

"I just don't have anything to say." James responded, "I don't hate you at all, so stop being so negative."

Kendall noticed something, as James spoke. He kept his hazel eyes fixed on the lyrics sheet, and spoke in a disinterested monotone. There was no emotion, there was no concern, and there was certainly no compassion. All his words were empty, and that is when Kendall realized that the problem was not James' dislike for him. James didn't hate him, at all. He was simply indifferent. Kendall realized that the problem was that he wasn't interesting enough to keep James attention, and it had shifted to something else.

He nodded his head, accepting defeat, and left James' bedroom feeling like he wanted to die. Kendall entered his room, and dove into his bed. Tears did not fall from his eyes, as he realized he had lost. James didn't love him anymore. He was alone.

-The End-

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