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Take Me

Chapter 1

J's Pov

Sex…A ruthless, relentless and an all-absorbing sensation. Sex equates everyone, transforming shy and polite human beings into lustful animals. Exactly in the moment of copulation our affinity is most obvious. The outer world and its laws are being destroyed when the energy and the passion of two (three, four, etc., it depends on how lucky you are) bodies collide. The adequate perception of reality becomes something unachievable. There's just torn breathing, heartbeat, whispered crazy nonsense and a short cognition of heaven. And you're ready to give up everything for this "heaven", created by the ecstasy of two (three, four or more, if you are lucky enough) bodies.

I pressed my lips to his tense abdomen feeling the spasms of his muscles. The scent of his body, so desired at this moment, so indispensable, so mine, drives me insane. I hear blood pulsing in my temples. James is moaning and this drives me crazy, all the barriers are wiped off, there are no limits, and I'm ready to kill anyone who tries to intervene. To try and intervene when you receive the most craved thing at the moment? Something you don't just want, but something that you think will tear your soul if you don't get it?

I touch with my lips the tip of his shaft and feel how it twitches because of the light contact. Tenderness is for the tender. Just the burning desire from inside me reminds how deceitfully tenderness really is.

-Jas…Jasper, he cries.

Taking all his length into my mouth I swirl my tongue around his frenulum. One of his hands digs into my shoulder and the other one grips the bed sheet. I taste him and feel the pulse of his veins. He is mine right now. I let my fingers squeeze his taut ass and find the cherished hole that opens itself to me. I feel the twitching of the tight ring of muscles and plunge my finger deeper, finding the magic spot. James moans and starts moving in an attempt to reach the waves of pleasure that are approaching him.

I move faster, almost suffocate, but I can't stop yet. James is not letting me do this. His head fell back, his screams, his body's tremble tell me he is not far from orgasm. Despite the fact that I'm a natural born ass and try to piss of everybody I know, I can't hold him back, I don't have the right to. The look on his face makes me even harder than I already am, but what is more arousing is the fact that I brought him to this state, where he is coiling with need. It's agony.

His stream hits the back of my throat and I swallow. I allow this kind of situation to happen only when I'm with him, I swallow just his, and he swallows just mine. I know this taste, it never was disgusting for me, James just can't be disgusting to me. A broaching groan is the sign that everything came to an end. Ha! Not so fast, darling. I let him for some seconds to gather himself and then I throw his long legs on my shoulders and quickly prepare his hole for me.

-Impatient, aren't we? The bastard says playfully smirking at me.

-Damn, like you don't know.

-Of course, Whitlock always gets what he wants.

-Like you don't like it, I say tilting my lips to his.

He lifts his mouth to mine and we kiss. I want to take him, all of him. His hot tongue wanders in my mouth, the heat of his body fills me with burning passion, that I couldn't hold back, even if we were surrounded by a crowd of people.

We desperately separate our lips. I grab the lube, coat my fingers in it and start preparing my way. James faintly moans under my touch and my free hand rummage the nightstand trying to find the condom.

I enter him slowly, but impatiently. His lithe body covered in sweat bend at the same time mine does. He bites his bottom lip when his hands reached my ass and pushed me, in an attempt to bring us even closer. That's when I lose my mind. It's the moment when I can tell that I love him, despite the fact that I don't know what love is. I kiss him hard and our breathe mixes together. I take all of him. You're mine, James! Just mine. Me and you, we know what pleasure is, we can do it for hours, and each time remain in our memory like a bright flash, like a sip of fresh air after a dusty street.

I'm awake but I haven't opened my eyes yet. James is softly snoring next to me and I feel his smooth breath on my cheek. I awfully don't want to get out of bed, but I already had skipped some classes and it's just the beginning of the year.

I know this loft as I know mine. It's too early to wake James, so I slip out of the bed trying to not disturb this beautiful boy and go straight to the kitchen and turn the coffee machine on. I drink my nectar, brush my teeth, pull on my jeans and try to pack all my shit faster, because I'm almost late, and that old geezer Swan doesn't like when someone is late for his classes, adding the fact that he almost hates me, he will be very happy to throw my ass out if I'm not on time. What can I do? The jerk just doesn't understand that when you're 20, there're a lot more important things than his boring lectures that smell of a light form of dementia. Like it's said, senility doesn't let us have a tedious time, entertaining us with marasmus. Where are my keys? Fuck, they are on the nightstand in the bedroom. Trying to not make any noise I sneak on my toes into the bedroom and try to find those damn keys under a pile of unnecessary shit and then I see the familiar keychain, the "Devil may cry" symbol.

I feel somebody's eyes on me. James is watching me and there is a smile on his kissable lips. Deep inside me appeared an itch to kiss him, but it quickly disappeared. Shit. This is girly stuff. I caught myself on the idea that tonight I thought that maybe I love him, but it all subsided by now. It's all the same, my old buddy James, it's impossible for me to love him. Especially when you know his pretty mouth with those plump pink lips will seize your throat in a heartbeat if you let him get closer to you. He is a good friend, but nothing else. Nor I, nor he is capable of something better.

I forced out a standard "bye" and idiotically waved my hand at him. Then I left this fortress of lechery and shipped myself for the second time in these two weeks of the new semester to the Lux et veritas. The first time, I know it sounds pathetic, was on the first day of classes, at the end of August. Well, I wasn't impressed. That day I drunk like a pig.

James's Pov

You left and I already miss you. Just the thought that you will come back calms me a little bit. You, like always, slipped away from me, leaving just your sent on the sheets.

For God's sake! What's happening to me? I started thinking about this wimpy romantic shit. It's just attachment. Jasper is just like me. It's like I'm watching myself in the mirror. We are not created for relationshiTs, anyway, do they exist? It is all just a game of hormones misunderstood by the romantics.

I know Jasper my entire life, we grew up together, together we ripped the first forbidden fruits of pleasure, and together we left our home town when we wanted some freedom. Our wishes coincide almost every time. I was the first to see in his childish (at that time) face, something more than a friend. The realization that he is not just my friend, but a handsome young man too, made it possible to me to see why girls reacted to him the way they did. This is quite stupid, but then I almost felt like I'm one of them, a girl in love. This new desire to be more than friends, to take care of somebody and to be taken care of…I felt this idiotic bliss from the realization that we want the same. We never were overlooked by ladies, but Jasper was always one step prior me. Than it annoyed me, but now I take it as a tribute while he is by my side.

Crap! If there is something more for me than a simple attachment, if it really does exist for me, than I know I can feel it only toward Jasper. And this is really fucked up! It's really, really fucked up, because I know him, who knows him better than me? It's an interesting combination of elements, making him a tough little son-of-a-bitch. He doesn't give a shit about anything or anybody. He just can cut off his right hand if it pesters him, because he is the one who makes the rules.

I hate myself sometimes, because I know I'm ready to submit to his rules, if he asks me. But he doesn't ask and never did. But I want him to ask, I want him to ask me who we are to each other. I want him to ask me looking right into my eyes, so I couldn't say anything. I'm too much of a coward to ask him myself. This may create problems and destroy what we have, this obscure relationship. But if he decides to change something I am ready to give up everything if he needs it, because if it is good for him, it is good for me too. Each time it's harder for me to hold back myself, to joke and save this façade, this mask of sarcasm on my face. I'm sick and tired of this game, but I will play it until he decides to stop it.

A/N note: "Lux et Veritas" –the motto of Yale University, where Jasper is studying.

Playlist: The Gathering-Monsters; Hurts- Better than Love

This really is a JxE story, just you wait for it:)))

Ok, so, this is it. I have no beta (if there's someone who would like to help me with this, please contact me, I really need you, my dear future beta "wink"), all mistakes are mine, 'coz English is not my native language. Thank you for reading and please leave me some loving :D, it really took me a lot of courage to post it "sights".