The Path Not Taken

Part I: The Mysterious Nobody

Chapter 4: Waiting game

Biming held off on reading her letter until after she had finished clearing the breakfast dishes. She was due to be announced to the staff as the new head of servants later that afternoon, so in the few minutes that she had to herself, she slipped discreetly into her bedroom and made sure that the door was firmly shut. After checking and double-checking to make sure that no one else was around, she cautiously unfurled the scroll that she had received earlier that morning:

My dearest wife,

I swear to the gods that every time Tung delivers another message from you, my surprise never lessens. Am I the only one who feels that this is like a dream, being able to correspond so frequently after so many years? I truly hope that I'll be able to see you again soon, though as discouraging as it is, I must admit that you were right about what you said in your last letter. The cost of supplies and especially of hiring an escort to go back and forth from here to the Valley of Peace would indeed be quite steep, and unattainable for both of us at this time. Still, I'm sure that we'll be able to work something out. Now that we in Fai Dong Valley know for sure that we have nothing to fear from Lord Shen, we've been trying to establish trade with the settlements closest to us. Hopefully I will be able to set aside a small portion of the revenue from the exchanges and begin saving up to come and visit.

By the way, how is our son? You haven't mentioned him much since you told me that he was the Dragon Warrior. I hope that he's not upset with me because I was absent for so long. Please give him my warmest regards and tell him that I couldn't be more proud of him.

Take care of yourself, and write back soon. I am, etc.

Biming heaved a sigh and placed the scroll on her dresser. She didn't want to keep lying, not to her husband and not to her son…but then again, it wasn't really 'lying,' she corrected herself. There were just a few things that she wasn't telling them…things that they probably needed to know.

She should have told Po weeks ago that his biological father was alive, but she hadn't, although now he had managed to figure out that she was indeed receiving letters from some mystery sender. She could imagine from here what would happen every time she received another message, having to weather her son's comments of "is Nobody your boyfriend or something" without ever betraying her guilt. And that wasn't even mentioning the fact that she hadn't told Cai that his survival was a secret yet, so none of the communications he had tried to put out to their son had actually passed Biming's lips. Oh, and then there was the panda village, Fai Dong Valley, which just added a whole other layer of complications to the situation.

And there was also Shen. Good gods, she couldn't even bear to think about how Shen factored into this equation as of yet.

She allowed herself to sigh and shut her eyes for a moment, calling up blurry memories of her husband's face. They'd known each other from earliest childhood, although they weren't originally intended to be married. Biming had been engaged to someone else from birth, but she'd fallen into disfavor with the groom-to-be after she obtained her job as the healer to the Royal Peacocks. When forced to choose between her job and her marriage, she'd picked her job, and it had only been later that Cai had proposed to her. And that was why the two of them had settled down and started a family so late…

Biming almost smiled, but the thought of what had become of that family now jolted her back into the present, and she opened her eyes.

Delaying the inevitable truth wasn't going to make things get any better, she knew that much. Po had the right to know about Cai, and vice versa. But if she said anything, it would be so incredibly easy for her to ruin everything all at once. This was no normal family here, and the familial structure was very tenuous and fragile, already wobbling slightly from the addition of Lanying Xifeng. Burdening it with the knowledge of an entire panda village might cause the whole thing to fall to pieces, and Biming wasn't about to let that happen. This family was still hers, after all. But if anything would lead to her undoing, it would probably be her own selfishness, because her desire to see Cai again was stronger than she could put into words…

So she strode over to her dresser, shut today's scroll in the top drawer along with its previous companions, and promised herself something.

She would save the salary she received from her new job as the head of staff and put it towards travel supplies and escort to Fai Dong. As soon as she had enough money, she would tell Po the truth, and the two of them would go together. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it would give her some peace of mind knowing that her deception now had a deadline.

Without even glancing over her shoulder at the place where her secret was quietly fermenting, she lifted her chin and strode out of the room, ready to return to her regular life once again.

…

After being formally presented to the staff as their new boss (and weathering through many dubious stares), Biming made her informal announcements to the other Jade Palace residents about her new promotions. She was given the usual assortment of polite congratulations, along with one rather telling comment from her son.

"So Master Shifu listened to me after all!" Po declared. "When I first told him that I thought you should be the head of servants, he looked at me like I was crazy."

Biming quirked an eyebrow. "You were the one who suggested it to him?"

"Uh, yeah," he answered, as if surprised that she hadn't realized that before. "We were all kind of thinking it, since, y'know, you always do such a great job of taking care of stuff around here anyway. And Master Shifu is always complaining that he has too much to do without having to worry about the servants, so I told him that maybe he should give you the job, but he made me think that it was a bad idea. But hey, he asked you anyway, so I guess it wasn't!"

She smiled and dipped her head slightly, caught on the uneasy threshold of being flattered and feeling even guiltier. Ever since the incident that had destroyed her village, hardly a day had passed where she didn't wonder if she was an inadequate mother in some respect, but no one ever seemed to notice this – her son least of all. Sometimes his unwavering affection towards her made her want to laugh, and other times it made her want to cry. Right now she was leaning towards the latter option, but she only replied teasingly, "Oh, so you're trying to make more work for your old mama?"

Po's ears dipped back immediately. "Well, if you really feel that way, then you don't have to…" It took him several more seconds before he realized that she was kidding, and when he did, he grinned sheepishly. "Oh. Yeah, well, what can I say? You're awesome. I can't think of anyone else who would do a better job."

Biming felt herself flushing, and her eyes dropped to the floor. "Little jade," she said quickly, using her special term of endearment for him. "You don't have to flatter me like that…"

"I'm not trying to flatter you. I'm just speaking the truth!" he insisted. "And I really hope that it's not too much work for you. I thought it would be a good thing to do, since you've already done so much for me."

She hoped that her emotions didn't betray themselves on her face. "You…don't ever have to worry about me, Po. I'm perfectly happy now," she answered carefully. All right, it was sort of a lie, but she was doing far more misleading things at the moment.

"Well, okay, if you say so." Po laughed. "I'd better get back to training now, okay? See you later!"

"See you later, little jade," Biming repeated, but her voice was probably too soft now for him to hear, and he had already taken off in the direction of the training hall. In her mind, she was apologizing to him tenfold for her indirect deception of him. Somehow she could already tell that there would be hell to pay when he finally learned the truth about her letters. She sighed and lifted her eyes to the ceiling, as if seeking help from some invisible gods who might be able to tell her how she could resolve this problem without hurting her son.

…

Late the next morning, Shen and Lanying were just reaching the top of the thousand steps for Lanying's second visit to the Jade Palace. The weather had gotten quite chilly lately, so the peahen had tucked her yellow-and-orange scarf around her neck. Shen thought that it provided for ravishing contrast against the natural colors of her plumage.

"So, I've noticed that you've been much less anxious since we first came here," he began. "You haven't had a single panic attack, is that right?"

She bobbed her head. "I haven't had one since that last little…meltdown…in Gongmen City." Of course, the attack she'd had after being menaced by Lady Xuilan's villainous mute bodyguard Ming was hardly a very "little" one, but Shen understood that she preferred not think about that anymore.

"Who knows? Perhaps you'll stop having them altogether," he remarked hopefully.

Lanying gazed at him reproachfully. "Don't be so optimistic. Just because I have this condition doesn't mean that I have panic attacks on a regular weekly basis. In fact, the longest time I've ever gone without having anxiety issues is seven months."

"Seven months?" he repeated, and cleared his throat. "Did you think that you'd been cured during that stretch of time?"

She shrugged and averted her eyes. "Not really. I've long since learned not to get my hopes up."

"Come on, now, don't be like that…" He reached out and tilted up her chin so that she was facing him. "You're here with me now. Things will be different. You have a lot to look forward to, I promise…"

"I still haven't managed to find a job," she pointed out. "Not one that pertains to my skills, anyway. And we have the wedding to start thinking about, and we're going to need to build a house, and there's so many preparations to be done, and – "

"Don't worry about any of that," he interrupted dismissively. "I have a new and rather high-paying task lined up for me, so I'll be able to support you for as long as you need it. Soon I'll have more than enough money to pay for our wedding. And besides, there's no great rush to get married, is there?"

"If we hold off for too long, my parents are going to start wondering what we're waiting for."

"Oh, yes…your parents." Shen hesitated uncomfortably. He was none too fond of Jie and Yue Xifeng, and the thought of having them as in-laws seemed almost insulting to his real parents. He hadn't given much thought to the fact that marriage wasn't only about the union between a man and a woman: it was also binding two families together as one, with all of the complications that such a process might entail. He hadn't been in a rush to have the wedding in the first place, and now he was even less eager for it.

"Yes, and that's not to mention the fact that they're probably going to round up every relative I have for the occasion," continued Lanying, her crest flattening slightly. "All of my cousins and aunts and uncles from Java…I've never even met most of them before! What about you? I mean, I've met your adoptive family, but do you have any blood relatives that I should know about?"

Shen stiffened. "No."

"No, you don't have any, or no, I shouldn't know about them?"

"I don't have any. At least, I don't think that I do." He shrugged, as if it didn't matter much to him that he was probably the last of his bloodline. "I think that when I was a child, back when my parents were still alive, I met a few distant relations…but as far as I know, they're all deceased now. Even if some of them aren't, it doesn't matter. My parents disowned me. I'm no longer a part of that family."

Her head angled towards him sharply, and her eyes widened. "They disowned you?"

"Of course." He frowned. "You've already heard my history. Surely you knew that."

"No one's ever described it that way before."

"Well, that's the way it was. My parents legally disowned me about twenty-five years ago, and that's the reason why no one's tried to put me back in power in Gongmen City since my reformation. Well, one of the reasons, anyway." He was relieved to see the walkway to the palace finally come into view, providing an escape from the awkward conversation. "Oh, look, here we are!"

Lanying followed behind him closely as they ascended the final step, peering over his shoulder at the yard. There was no one out and about today, since the bitter cold had prompted everyone to do their exercises indoors. Shen made a beeline for the training hall, causing her to stop up short.

"Am I allowed to go in there?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," said Shen. "Nana and Lady Biming come in all the time – they watch us spar and place bets on who will win each match."

"But they live here…I don't."

He only shrugged. "If we get in trouble for it, then I'll take the blame, although I don't think that it will be a problem. Come on, I told you that I wanted to introduce you to Kurisu today."

She followed him with trepidation as he approached the heavy double doors of the hall and pushed them open.

Inside was a flurry of what at first appeared to be pandemonium, but upon closer inspection revealed itself to be carefully controlled activity. The mechanics of the hall were all moving at full speed, and darting around or through or on top of them were seemingly all of the masters and students of the Jade Palace. Crane and Mantis were sparring atop the Jade Tortoise, Po was making a run through the Field of Fiery Death (and listening to Master Shifu as the elderly red panda shouted instructions at the top of his lungs), and nearest to the door, very close to where Shen and Lanying were standing, Master Tigress was engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a small blue-gray kitten.

"Stop blocking, Kurisu," Tigress was saying. "Tiger style has no defense, only attack."

"I can't help it! It's automatic!" whined Kurisu. "I didn't even start learning Tiger style until last week, anyway…"

"Do you want to be a master?"

"Yes'm."

"Then you have to pick a style."

"I don't think I like yours very much."

"Well, Master Shifu told me that you'll still be training with me for another week. During that time, you need to follow instructions."

"Yes'm," muttered Kurisu, pouting.

"We'll wait for them to finish," Shen murmured in Lanying's ear. "If Kurisu sees me, I'm sure that she'll…"

But it was too late, and Lanying got a firsthand look at what Kurisu would do when the kitten exclaimed, "Hey, Shen!" She quickly broke form and rushed towards the peacock…only to skid to a halt when she noticed who was at his side.

Shen bent down to her level. "Kurisu," he started, "this is Lanying. You promised me that you'd meet her today, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," responded Kurisu, and she wrinkled her nose.

Lanying stepped forward, smiling slightly and trying to be as welcoming as possible. Over the past few days, she had already gotten a very good idea of how stubborn and possessive the young feline could be. "Hello, Kurisu. I'm glad to finally meet you. Shen has told me a lot about you…"

Kurisu's ears went flat against her head. "He has?"

"Nothing bad, kitten," Shen assured her quickly. "I just explained to Lanying how we met and how I happened to reform. She's from Gongmen City, remember. She knows how I used to be."

Kurisu frowned and looked up at Lanying suspiciously. "Shen's changed!" she declared. "He's not evil. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that," said Lanying, slightly confused. "I wouldn't have agreed to marry him if I thought that he was still a madman, now would I?"

At the mention of the engagement, Kurisu's eyes immediately dropped to the scuffed wood floor. When they lifted again, they were narrowed and brimming with angry beads of moisture. "I know what you're trying to do! You want to marry Shen so that you can have him all to yourself! You don't even care about him – not as much as I do! Why don't you just go back to where you came from and leave our family alone!"

With that, she turned and bolted out of the training hall, her furry tail snapping behind her like a banner in high wind.

"Kurisu – !" Shen groaned, charging after her. Lanying took a step back, startled, and watched him go. After a full minute had passed and he showed no signs of returning, she exhaled softly, her gaze lowering.

It was another few seconds before she realized that Master Tigress was looking at her.

"I suppose that could have gone better," the South China tiger finally spoke up, folding her well-toned arms across her chest.

"You're telling me," Lanying sighed. "It seems that no matter what I do, I can't help but ruin things."

The corner of Tigress's mouth twitched. "I know how you feel."

They held each other's gaze for another long moment, and Lanying had a sudden thought. The first time she'd come up to the Jade Palace, Tigress had asked her, "Have you ever actually had a conversation with another person before?" At the time, Lanying hadn't known what to make of the question – she'd simply assumed that it was painfully obvious to everyone how much of a recluse she was. But now she was beginning to figure out that Tigress wasn't exactly a social person, either.

Of course, Lanying thought, she wasn't trying to be mean. She just recognized the signs of introversion when she first saw me…

"How well do you know Shen?" Lanying asked, a little bit less intimidated now (but only a little bit).

Tigress's face darkened briefly. "Master Shen and I don't get along well," she stated. "However, I can respect that fact that he's spent the past several years trying to make up for the damage he did."

"Then…you don't have anything against me because I'm engaged to him, do you?"

"Why would I?" asked Tigress, seemingly genuinely surprised by the notion.

"I don't know…I just wanted to make sure." Lanying tucked her wings behind her back uneasily. "I'd better go see where Shen and Kurisu got off to…"

"Of course. And don't worry if Kurisu isn't warming up to you yet. She's territorial."

"So I've noticed."

This time Tigress actually smiled. She punched a fist into her palm and bowed slightly. "I suppose I'll see you another time, then."

"Another time," Lanying agreed, curtsying.

Then, feeling slightly more confident in her abilities to interact with other people, she tightened her scarf and made her way out of the training hall.

A/N - I originally didn't think that I'd have to point this out, but in case I didn't make it perfectly clear: KURISU DOES NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON SHEN. Their relationship is purely platonic and more familial than anything else. Jeez, her liking him would be almost as nonsensical and stupid as Master Tigress having a crush on Shifu when she was a teenager!

Also, I see that while I was away, we got ourselves some nifty comment boxes! Let's all get some good use out of those, shall we?