Crime of Fashion

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" Fanfiction

S.J. Hartsfield

A fine-toothed comb, limned in the violet light of unicorn magic, raked gingerly through Rarity's mane.

"Almost..." she muttered. "Almost..."

A solitary hair fell into place.

"There!" The comb settled on the vanity and a can of manespray rose in its place, spritzing the perfect purple coiffeur.

Rarity jutted out her chin and batted her eyelashes at the mirror. "Yes," she sighed, finally contented. "Yes, that will do nicely."

She was clad in her latest personal creation: a multi-layered gown in pinks and purples, with just a splash of gold for accent. Finding a fabric that draped just so had been nothing short of a trial, but it was well worth it; the blend hugged her about the shoulders, pooled slightly toward her hooves, and (she was not too humble to admit) did a fine job of complimenting her flank.

Yes, she thought, it could not be denied. She looked good.

Which was exactly what she wanted, because Fluttershy's birthday party was that very evening, and the thought of looking less than fabulous for her dear friend's special day was simply out of the question. Of course, the spotlight that night should be on the birthday girl, but the quiet pegasus pony was so shy and retiring, Rarity knew she wouldn't want it that way, and really, who was she to argue?

So yes - it really was for the best that Rarity looked absolutely devastating.

Rarity hummed as she clipped along the path to Fluttershy's cottage. She was late, but only just late enough to make an entrance. It wouldn't do to risk one of her friends overlooking her by arriving once she'd already sunk into the crowd to mingle.

Coming to a halt before the wooden door, Rarity cleared her throat. It was a demure sort of throat-clearing, the kind meant solely for self-preparation and not for dealing with anything icky. Prepared thusly, she raised a hoof and knocked.

A moment, then the door swung open. "Oh, hi, Rarity," Fluttershy greeted her. "I'm glad you made it! We were starting to get worried."

"Oh, I'm fine," Rarity said. "I just had to make a few last minute minor adjustments to my look." She struck the pose she'd been practicing all week and waited for the inevitable compliment, magnificent head thrown back, eyes closed.

But all she got was, "I'm so relieved! Come inside, everypony else is already here."

When she opened her eyes a beat later, the door was still wide open, but the hostess was gone. Rarity blinked once, twice, thrice before deflating. With a huff, she trotted inside.

Pinkie Pie's party cannon seemed to have done the trick once again. Angel Bunny picked a streamer from between his ears as Rarity passed, and glared at her as though it was her fault. Pinkie was twirling Twilight Sparkle around the makeshift dance floor (which… was just the regular floor, really) while Fluttershy implored them to, "Please, can we just lower the music a little bit? I don't want the animals to get scared." A sizable buffet was laid out, but Applejack and Rainbow Dash were ignoring it in favor of engaging in a spirited hoof-wrestle. Applejack was winning.

Rarity steeled herself. Perhaps the setting sun was in Fluttershy's eyes, she reasoned. Perhaps, in her heartfelt relief that Rarity had made it to the cottage safely, she had simply failed to notice the way she looked. Perhaps she simply has no taste, she thought. She does have a penchant for haute couture, after all. Rarity pushed this consideration away as quickly as it surfaced. That was mean, and she shouldn't think it. There must be a reason she hadn't said anything. Rarity would just have to make her presence felt, that's all.

For the next hour, she tried. She certainly tried. She went from the dance floor (she didn't actually dance, of course – she didn't want to risk trodding on her skirt) to the buffet (avoiding any food, naturally) to the quieter corners of the room and back again. She chatted, she socialized, she even went so far as to fraternize.

And her friends were very nice and very pleasant and not one of them said anything about how wonderful she looked.

What was wrong with them all?

The hour-and-a-half mark of the party found Rarity curled up on Fluttershy's chaise, watching the goings-on glumly. The other five were gathered around the buffet table, grabbing slices of cake. Well, most of them had slices; Pinkie seemed to have settled on quantifying her cake in chunks. As they were eating, Rarity pulled her legs closer to herself and sighed.

In one instant, Applejack went from the middle of the group at large to plonking down next to Rarity. "Dontcha want any cake?" she asked, wiping a smudge of frosting from her face and licking it from her hoof. "It's real good."

Rarity's nose wrinkled. "Not really." It was the politest declination she could manage.

Applejack wasn't usually the brightest gemstone in the mine, but apparently even she couldn't fail to notice Rarity's disposition. "What's the matter, sugar cube?" she said. "Ain't you having fun?"

Tricky question, that. Rarity considered the others, then figured she may as well consult the pony she had at hoof. "Applejack," she began. "I know you don't have the most discerning eye when it comes to beauty," (Applejack made a moue of offense; Rarity soldiered on), "but I wonder if I might ask you something."

"Shoot."

Rarity almost asked what was wrong, then she realized what the earth pony meant. Oh. She took a deep breath and said, "How do I look tonight?"

There was a long pause wherein the music cranked back up and a hushed voice beneath it murmured, "Please, I think Angel's trying to go to sleep!"

"Uh." Applejack always had a knack for erudition. "Good?"

"Just good?"

"Er…real good?" Rarity's brow fell. A bead of nervous sweat emerged from under the brim of Applejack's hat. The cowpony tried again. "Stunning? Jaw-dropping? F…fabulous?"

Rarity hung her head with a heavy sigh. "You're just saying it to make me feel better."

Applejack's expression plainly said that she thought that was the point. "What's all this about?" she asked.

It all came out in a rush. "I've spent weeks perfecting the ensemble for this party and I thought I'd done a really good job but nobody has said a word about how I look and now I'm afraid that I look uh-ugly!" The last word was a sob. Her head fell to her hooves, shoulders shuddering. A moment passed and when Rarity rose back up, she was shocked to see Applejack actually rolling her eyes at her.

"C'mon, Rarity." Her tone was measured and patient, as though she were speaking to someone very slow. "You know you ain't ugly."

Rarity pouted and scraped a hoof sullenly across the fabric of the chaise. "Well, what else am I supposed to think?" she said. "If no one says I look pretty – "

"Then it's just another day, ain't it?" Rarity blinked and Applejack clarified. "You always look good. We're your best friends and we see you every day. So, ya know… it ain't that big a deal to us anymore. Make sense?"

It did not. "I don't understand," she admitted. "I cannot imagine becoming inured to beauty." She paused, added, "Especially mine."

Applejack scratched the back of her head, pushing her hat forward. Straightening it, she said, "All right, look at it this way: imagine right outside your window, you've got the biggest, perdiest apple tree in all Equestria." Rarity's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Or, you know, ribbon tree or diamond tree. Whatever it is you like."

"Diamonds do not grow on trees."

"Look, it's a hyperthetical story, all right? Just lemme tell it."

"Fine. A diamond tree."

"So, you've got this diamond tree, and boy howdy, it just outshines all the other trees, right?" Rarity nodded. "Right. Now, for a while, you look out your window every day and you can't hardly believe how perdy this tree is. Takes your breath plumb away, every time. But you go on and on, and a couple years pass, and that same tree just kinda becomes part of the scenery, you know? Don't make it any less perdy or any less impressive, but it's always around." Applejack shrugged. "Sooner or later you gotta start ignoring it, or you wouldn't get nothing else done. You'd just be looking at that tree all the time." She studied Rarity. "Make sense now?"

Rarity gave this a moment to sink in. When she spoke, she did so slowly and contemplatively. "So… you're saying that the reason no one has told me I look beautiful… is because I always look beautiful."

Applejack looked relieved. "Exactly."

This took another moment to process. "But how can I be sure?"

The earth pony sighed. "Look, tell you what – how about from now on, I'll be your designated compliment-giver?"

Rarity's face lit up. What a perfect idea! "That's marvelous! That way I'll be sure to know if I've done an acceptable job of beautifying myself!"

"There you go."

Something occurred to her then, and worry wrinkled her brow momentarily. "And if there comes a time when I don't look spectacular?"

Applejack grinned. "Well, I reckon we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. If we ever come to it." Rarity's face broke into a wide (but still attractive) smile.

"Thank you, Applejack," she said, bustling herself off of the chaise. "You've made me feel ever so much better." She glanced across the room, where the rest of their friends were back to dancing. "I think I will have some cake after all," she conceded, and trotted off to the buffet table.

Applejack watched her go and shook her head. "Rarity thinking she don't look nice," she muttered to herself. "What in tarnation."

And with that, she rejoined the party as well.