Hi my dear readers!
I finally managed to finish this fanfic.
To everyone who has reviewed "Insane" and "Behind her Facade": Thanks so much guys! I loved all the reviews. :D
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What you should know before reading this fanfic:
1) This fanfic is not as happy, mushy and fluffy like most of my others
2) It's set years after the most horrible episode ever. (yes I'm talking about 7x23... And in this this story I'm trying to fix what TPTB has destroyed in the series.)
3) Dominika is gone because House had kicked her out
4) The idea for the storyline is from the great Sheis1963 :D
5) Jane (LEfan77) is responsible that this story isn't filled with grammar, spelling and sense mistakes :D
Thanks to both of you girls! :D
Enjoy reading!
Something you can't replace (working title; will probably chance)
Chapter 1
It was far too cold for a day in early September. The sun was hiding behind the big, dark clouds and a chilly breeze was blowing.
Cuddy was slowly walking over the grass. With each step she made, she came nearer and nearer to the crowd of people that all were here for the very same reason.
Her heart started beating faster the nearer she got. She had the urge to run away but she wouldn't do that. Not now. Not today.
She had driven up all the way here to Princeton to say goodbye and that was exactly what she would do even though she knew that it was going hurt.
She looked at the crowd and recognized Foreman, Taub as well as Chase who sadly smiled when he caught sight of his former boss.
Cuddy gave him a short nod before she directed her gaze on the casket in front of her.
She swallowed.
This was the first time she realized that this indeed was true. That it wasn't just a bad dream. It was cruel reality.
He was dead.
She never ever would be able to see him or to talk to him again. She never would be able to say goodbye properly.
He was just gone.
The feeling of loss spread in her chest and encased her heart. She couldn't help it but to let a tear fall down her cheek.
Cuddy was aware of the fact that probably every single person was staring at her. Most of the people that were present were her former employs who hadn't seen her for more than five years. And since PPTH always had been a big gossip factory she hadn't really expected anything else.
When looked up from the mahogany casket again she suddenly caught sight of HIM.
He was standing offside from the crowd under a big chestnut tree heavily leaning on his cane.
A cold shiver made its way through her body. Her heart started to beat even faster… For a short moment she thought that she was going to pass out.
She had known that she would meet him when she had decided to come here. She had known that there was no way around it. She just hadn't imagined that it would hurt, confuse and startle her so much.
Another tear was making its way down her cheek. She wished Wilson were here to comfort her… But then she realized how absurd this thought was.
Wilson wouldn't ever comfort her again.
He was dead.
She had lost one of her very best friends. Someone she had trusted. Someone she had truly cared about.
She had lost her confidant and her adviser and this fact hurt her more than she thought was possible.
They haven't seen each other often in the last few years but they had phoned each other at least once a week.
More tears were forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had to say goodbye to him.
Her gaze was still fixed on House. He hadn't seen her yet. He was busy starring at his shoes and playing around with his cane.
Even from the distance she could say that he looked miserable and even though she knew she shouldn't, she felt bad for him.
Wilson had been House's only friend. Now that he is dead he was alone. He had no one.
Cuddy still had Rachel but House was completely left alone.
He fucking hated life! And life obviously hated him equally.
He had lost everything and everyone he had truly cared about.
First Cuddy and now his best friend who always had stuck with him even though he had done so much shit in the last few years.
Wilson always had been on his side, he had always kept an eye on him. He had always kept him company. He had helped him to detox. He had even tried to set up House with a woman who he thought might be able to handle his friend's extraordinary character.
But House never was interested in any of those women.
He didn't just want some woman. He wanted a specific woman…
He wanted no one else but her… But he knew that she wanted anybody else but him.
And he absolutely understood it. He wouldn't even want a man like him on her side. She deserved better, much better.
What he did to her was horrible and the most insane thing he has done in his entire life. He would always hate himself for that.
He felt like scum. He felt like not being worth of being happy or even of being contented...
He considered Wilson's death as a punishment for his behavior. And this pissed him off even more.
Wilson shouldn't be the one in the casket.
It should be him and not one of the most generous people in this world.
He should be dead and not Wilson.
House swallowed. He shifted his gaze from the grass to the crowd of people that were standing around Wilson's casket.
He could hear the rabbi saying a prayer.
It didn't take him long to catch sight of Cuddy who looked incredibly sad and exhausted but also more gorgeous than ever.
His heart skipped a beat… his breathing quickened. His skin was suddenly covered with goose bumps.
Seeing her again after such a long time freaked him out. It felt surreal. It felt wonderful and at the same time it felt horrible because he knew that she wouldn't want to see him.
She hated him… And he deserved it.
He deserved anything bad there was in this world.
She knew that he was watching her. She could feel it. His gaze was drilling itself into her back and made her shiver.
Cuddy didn't listen to the rabbi. Her thoughts were light years away.
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"You guys are made for each other."
"And you are drunk." House said as he gripped the bottle of beer out of his friend's hand and emptied it himself.
"You… toootally should marry and get lotsa babies." Wilson slurred and abutted his head on the backrest of the couch.
Cuddy whose head rested on House's shoulder chuckled. "You really should keep your hands off alcohol, Wilson."
Wilson grinned, yawned and then closed his eyes. "I love you… both..." He murmured.
House rolled his eyes, Cuddy chuckled again and said. "We love you too, drunkard."
.
The memory of this particular moment made her realize once again that she had lost both of them.
She had lost her love and now she had lost her best friend as well.
Cuddy tried to swallow back the tears that were about to fall, but it was impossible.
They came. They made their way down her cheeks.
First she had tried to wipe them away but soon she gave up on it.
She just let them fall.
She couldn't hold back any longer... This was too much for her.
She turned around and without looking back at House, she went away in direction of her car.
When Cuddy reached her car she was crying heavily. A stream of tears mixed with mascara was running down her face.
She felt alone… She felt lost. She wanted to drive back to Boston. She wanted to go to her daughter. She wanted to forget House, to forget that Wilson died… To forget how much her life sucked since she had left Princeton. To forget how much she missed her old life.
Cuddy rifled through her bag to look for her car keys. But they were no where to be found... They had obviously disappeared.
She took this as a reason to start crying even harder. She forcefully threw her bag to the ground and was about to let out a loud, desperate shout when she suddenly noticed that she hadn't thrown her bag on the ground, she had thrown it on someone else's feet.
She didn't even have to look up to recognize who it was. The sneakers the person was wearing were answer enough.
TBC... Of course just if you guys want me to continue. So do you?
BTW you can also make propositions how I should continue with this story. Do you want aynthing special to happen?
You also can send me DMs with ideas (preferable fluffy ideas) for Huddy One Shots... :)
Have a lovely day :)