Author's Note/Warning: I do not recommend that anyone ever read this story. It was written for a Worst Story Ever Challenge. It is essentially a parody of the worst elements of HP fanfiction. It is meant to be bad. Horribly, horribly bad. If you see something wrong with the story, it's intentional. But really, you shouldn't read this. You have been warned.

Copyright Note: JK Rowling did not write this (she would turn over in her grave if she were dead), but she does own the the rights to all things Harry Potter related. This is a work (cough) of fanfiction, I make no claim to owning the intellectual property of Miss Rowling. If she were to read this, not choking to death in the process, and have a problem with its existence, I would delete it from the internet, my hard drive, and the memories of anyone fool enough to have read it. In fact: Obliviate!

Draco and Harry for the Win!

Harry's View:

Harry looks at Draco Malfoy and sees the blond boy sneering at him and thinks "Oh gosh I so want to kiss his pale face! But I know I shouldn't want to!"

"Why are you looking at me like that Harry?"

"I'm not looking at you like that. I'm looking at someone else like that. Not you. Don't think you are so handsome like that every guy will want to be your boyfriend too."

"Shut up. I am really handsome of course."

Harry thought, "Yeah you are, but I won't say so to you."

Then Harry went to his class in Hogwarts and sees Snape. Then Snape says something to Harry to make him mad. "Harry Potter, you are like your dad. You are stupid like him and don't know how to do really magic. Voldy will kill you and I will laugh! Ha ha!"

And then Harry gets so angry and pulls out his wand and shoots Snape with some magic and Snape is screaming and is really hurt.

Hermione: "How are you Harry?"

Harry: "Good now that I got Snape."

Ron: "Yeah, it was good. I want to do it too, but I'm not as good as you are at it Harry."

Then Luna comes and kisses Harry and Ginny and Hermione too and they all fight over who will be Harry's girlfriend. Of course Hermione wins but Harry is thinking about Draco.

Draco's View:

Stupid Potter was looking at me again and I felt so hot when he looked at me. I am a Malfoy though and my dad will not like it. So, I run away and go to Crabbe and Goyle and tell them I don't like Harry, but I know it's not true.

Harry's View:

I was at the Quidditch field and flying and catching the snitch. Gryffindor wins! So I am happy. But I want to make Draco like me, so I'm not that happy. But I'm happy that we win.

Then Sirius comes to see me.

Sirius: "Hi Harry!"

Harry: "Sirius!"

Sirius: "Harry!"

Harry: "Sirius!"

Then Sirius turns into the dog and I pet him and run with him. So then I have to go to detention and Sirius goes back.

Then we go to the Hogwarts Express and sit on the train. But there are many dementors.

Dementor's view:

There are many children on the train. But the one I really want to kill is Harry and suck his soul. Ha Ha Ha! So I fly through the train and go to start sucking his happy thoughts. But then he says something magic and a big white deer jumps out an attacks me. Gah!

Draco's view:

Draco is looking at Harry fighting the dementor. So he feels so bad that Harry is getting hurt. Then he turns and yells at the dementor.

"You can't eat his soul! Expecto Patronum!" And then Draco's super dragon patronus jumps out and helps Harry's patronus and they kill all the dementors on the train. But then after the dementors are dead my super dragon patronus starts to kiss the deer patronus!

Dumbledore's view:

Dumbledore sees Draco and Harry on the train and knows they are in love. Twinkle! Twinkle!

Harry's view:

Then it was summer and I was walking with Draco out by the castle. And suddenly Voldemort jumps out of a tree and hits Draco in the face. I get angry and shoot him with my wand, but he just laughs.

Voldemort: Ha ha! Avada Kedavra!

Harry: No! You can't kill Draco!

Draco: No! You can't kill Harry!

And then the power of Draco and Harry's love kills Voldemort!

At the End:

Harry and Draco live in Hogwarts with their children. Some children have blond hair and some have brown hair like Harry! The end.

Or is it?

Author's Note: I told you. And this story was so bad it was even bad at winning an award for worst story. Barely scraped up a dishonorable mention. So why am I posting this? Out of spite. It's 5:30am and I can't sleep because of acid reflux. If this story has ruined your life, well tough. I did warn you.

.