So, real life's still a bitch, but getting an Xbox 360 for Christmas hardly helps matters either. I'm really going to try to update more, starting with this TLTS side-plot since I'm struggling a bit on where to take Ash's storyline.
This is one of the new stories I'd mentioned before; Artifacts. I was originally going to make this a standalone story that focused on a sideline plot in TLTS, but figured I may as well combine them since their paths are going to merge later anyway.
From this chapter onward, chapters focusing on Ash's group will be prefixed with (A) on the chapter dropdown list, and chapters focusing on Jonathan's group will have a (J) prefix.
As far as time-frame goes, this chapter starts around three days before Ash is turned into a shape-shifter at the beginning of TLTS.

So, in lieu of the main 'Ash' plot, here's the introduction to the 'Jonathan' storyline, which delves into exactly what Team Universe has got planned for the Pokemon world…
-RCTM

Ancient Secrets Unearthed

Somewhere in the suburbs of Goldenrod City, in the Johto region…

The scene opens with a brown-haired teenage boy and his Sandslash rooting through boxes of old junk in their house's attic.

"Found anything interesting, Sandra?" He asked the ground-type, obviously weary from hours of fruitless searching.

"That depends, Nathan. Do you find dusty old books and broken trinkets 'interesting?'" She deadpanned, holding up a ratty old Arcean Bible by the corner.

"Not really," Suddenly, he paused. "Whoa, what's this?"

The pangolin looked over her trainer's shoulder at the object, and raised her eyebrows in interest.

In Jonthan's hands was a gourd filled with holes…but this was, quite obviously, no ordinary gourd filled with holes.

It was hollow, and was made of what appeared to be pure blue crystal, with an extremely convoluted series of holes carved out of it that seemed to serve no purpose whatsoever.

"Finally, something vaguely interesting." He sighed, carefully setting the object down on a nearby table. "What do you think it is?"

"Looks like it's an ocarina." She replied simply.

"Oca-what now?" He asked, even more confused.

"It's a type of ancient musical instrument. Haven't seen very many of them; they're only made by a select few musical enthusiasts at this point, and certainly don't come cheap."

The second the duo turned their backs on it, the object was rolling across the table and headed for the floor.

Nathan quickly made a dive for the bizarre crystalline instrument, but it was far too late.

The ocarina hit the floor.

Meanwhile…
Old Chateau, Eterna Forest, Sinnoh

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," A turquoise-haired man in a bright white suit announced to a crowd of people sitting at the dilapidated house's dining table. "Now, you must be wondering why I've brought you here today. Well, I'll give you a straight answer,"

He stood up, and placed his hands on the table. "A plan for world domination; and this time I'm certain we won't fail. All I ask is this: Join me. Join me in my new organization, one that desires nothing but complete control over the world; even the galaxy…and you shall be rewarded very, very handsomely." He addressed the person closest to him, a man wearing a fine navy blue suit and a light blue bandana that looked completely out of place with what he was wearing.

"Archie Krieger; you want a world covered in water, correct? What if I told you that I could make you your own planet, one inhabited only by aquatic Pokemon, one that only you would rule over with Kyogre, Lugia, and Manaphy as your servants...would you be at all persuaded?"

He turned to his right, this time addressing a man with a burgundy coat and red, jagged hair. "Maxie Ray, you desire a world covered in land. You, too, would receive your own planet if my-no, our-plans come to their fruition. You, like Archie, would rule over this planet exclusively, with Groudon and Heatran as your eternal servants."

"'ey, wadda bout us?!" A cat sneered from the far end of the table, and the executive rolled his eyes.

"Go pester that 'Ketchup' boy, or whatever his name was. You will come into my plan at some point, I'm sure." He replied with a flourish of the hand, not even bothering to turn around.

"Now that those bumbling fools are gone: Cyrus, I have a proposal for you."

They raised their eyebrows in interest, and Archer continued. "The Ocarina of Origin has been located in Johto; find it as soon as your people can. This is the one Artifact we cannot at all afford to lose."

Meanwhile, back in the house…

Sandra and Nathan closed their eyes in preparation for the unwelcome sound of shattering glass.

But when none came, they opened their eyes.

The crystalline gourd was lying on the floor, and was completely unscathed. Nathan picked up the instrument in fascination. "It's nearly indestructible! What is this thing made of?"

"I think that's enough searching for today. Besides there's probably many other things you'd rather do on a late weekend evening than digging through useless junk." She paused, and the boy's head jerked downward as he nodded off. "Sleeping, for instance."

He shook his head rapidly to get rid of his drowsiness. "Good point, it's probably getting pretty late."

The next morning…

Sandra groggily lumbered out of her bedroom, heading for Nathan's own door.

However, she had to pause as she reached for to doorknob, for she heard a very odd sound emanating from behind the door…the muffled sound of Jonathan moaning.

She rolled her eyes. "Pssh, teenagers." As she made to turn away, she heard him…say her name?

The pangolin's mind was instantly sent reeling. 'I'm not sure whether to be disturbed, nauseated, or flattered by that.'

She chose not to 'interrupt' him-as that would only make things awkward-and just walked quietly down the stairs.

Her back plates felt like they weighed about fifteen tons from her morning grogginess, and coffee always relieves some of that early morning tension. Not to say that masturbation doesn't, but Sandra wasn't one to be distracted by petty urges like sex.

Claws kind of made that sort of thing hard, anyway.

In the kitchen…

Sandra's Perspective

"Morning Sandra." Nathan's dad, Adam, greeted as I entered. He was making eggs and bacon for everyone. Grease was hissing and bubbling raucously in the pan.

"Coffee." Was all I managed as a reply, grabbing a cup from the cupboard and pouring myself some coffee from the freshly-brewed pitcher of it that was residing enticingly in the coffeemaker.

I almost brought up the subject of Nathan's…odd…fantasy, before remembering that humans, for whatever undoubtedly stupid reason, treated such subjects as taboo.

Then again, so was having sexual relations with a pokemon. But there was Nathan, wanking off to thoughts of his own Sandslash. A Sandslash, of all things.

I was definitely going to discuss this with him at some point.

Just then, Nathan trod down the stairs…and for reasons that only I was aware of, avoided looking directly at me.

"Hungry?" Adam asked enthusiastically.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the study." I stated abruptly, walking upstairs as I finished my coffee. "And y'can stop staring at my ass." I pointed out, causing him to blush and turn away and Adam to raise an eyebrow.

"Pardon?" He asked incredulously. "Nathan, were you-"

"N-no, of course not! How could you even think of such a thing?" He defended all-too-readily.

"By the way, Nathan? We need to talk." Sandra added.

Adam gave me a grave look. "The four words every man fears!" As I turned away, he rested his hand on my shoulder. "Arceusspeed!"

I rolled my eyes and made my way up the stairs, entering the study.

"Your bedroom walls aren't as soundproof as you think they are," I started off, and could instantly see his face turn a very deep shade of red. "Let's start off simple; Why me?"

"W-what do you mean?" He asked nervously.

"You know exactly what I mean, Nathaniel Scott Loest." I retorted, eyes narrowing expectantly at him, which only seemed to further exacerbate his anxiety.

"Uh…w-well, I…" He stuttered. "I'm…fantasizing about a Pokemon as a 'take-that' to my recently-separated girlfriend?" He answered.

I paused, and gave him a good, hard stare in the eye.

"You're still lying, though that was an…entertaining answer." I commented. "…And was that an attempt at my appearance?"

"No, I really am saying that you're more attractive than her." I was taken aback, if only for a moment.

"Wow, she must have the appeal of a granite block. I'll repeat my question, though. Why me? I'm a freaking anteater, and a particularly uninteresting one at that." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Pangolin. And you're very interesting." He corrected.

I would have smacked him if it didn't carry the risk of severely damaging his face.

"Will you quite beating around the fucking bush and answer my question?" I snarled impatiently.

"Your personality." He answered finally.

"Really? So what you're saying is; you find cynical, spine-plated, poisonous pangolins sexually attractive?"

"W-well, when you put it that way-" He cut in unsurely.

"And you've tried your luck with human women-who were all abusive, dumb sluts who base their attraction solely on a man's popularity, wealth, and dick size-and thought you'd make passes at your own Sandslash and see where it got you?" I taunted.

Surprisingly, he burst out laughing. "See, that's what I'm talking about. You're funny, smart, cynical, unrestrained…and that's why I like you so much." He finished.

"…Bleh, it's too early for this. Bye, Nathan." I commented, leaving the study in disgust.

As soon as I'd left the room, he started jumping for joy behind me. Noticing his behavior, I smirked and shook my head bemusedly.

A bit later…

"Well, have you figured out the story behind that ocarina yet?" I asked, sitting beside him at his desk as he examined a piece of sheet music he'd found inside the flute.

"Based on what I could dig up from our library and the Internet, this instrument is called the 'Ocarina of Origin,' and was used in ancient times to allow humans to access the Hall of Origin far above Mt. Coronet in the Sinnoh region. Up until recently, I thought the Hall was just a myth. Now…I don't know what to believe. This ocarina certainly implies the place's existence, but this could just as easily be a fabrication or replica, like the collectible repros of that blue ocarina from The Legend of Zapdos: Ocarina of Thunder."

"Why d-…Wait a minute, what did you say?" I asked suddenly.

"The Ocarina of Thunder? That's just a made-up artifact for a video game; it's not real, Sandra."

"I read about a legend in one of the other old books collecting dust in the study; about the twenty-five Elemental Ocarinas," I began, and could visibly see his eyes brighten in interest, so I continued.

"It's said that there was one for each element and type, and possessing one allowed the bearer to unlock their 'ultimate potential' if their primary type matched what that specific ocarina resonated with. And the 'type' moniker doesn't just apply to Pokemon; whatever ocarina humans can use depends on their aura. For example, a brash, arrogant teenager would probably be able to use the Inferno and Muscle Ocarinas. There definitely exist at least seven others as far as the book's writers know, though all of these are shrouded in mystery: The Ocarinas of Time, Space, Chaos, and Origin. There are supposedly three others, based on some ancient Pokelantean scriptures describing them, but their purposes and even names were lost along with the city long, long ago."

His eyes widened in shock. "Wait…so this is one of the rarest, most valuable artifacts in existence?"

I nodded. "There's more. If all of the Ocarinas are assembled, it fuses to create the ultimate instrument; one that causes every living thing in a large area around the player to bend, completely and unquestioningly, to their will."

"So what you're telling me, is that this is the primary piece of an global-dictatorship-creating musical instrument?" He asked weakly, turning pale. "We can't let this get into the wrong hands."

I shook my head. "Actually, it's almost completely useless without the other Ocarinas."

He raised an eyebrow, again. "Almost?"

"As I said, a special song can be played on the instrument to gain access to the Hall of Origin. …As it happens, the sheet music you found inside the Ocarina seems to be for that very song."

There was a brief bout of silence.

"So…know how to play an ocarina?" I asked. He responded with an incredulous look that quite obviously said 'no.' "Well, shit. Then this thing really is useless," I commented. "Do your parents have a safe?"

He blinked. "I don't know. Would you trust your adolescent son or your talking pet with the location of all of your valuables?"

"Good point. Well, let's ask Adam if we can put this in the safe. Even if we can't play it, it still needs to be kept under tight security so that nobody else can." I replied.

"Wouldn't a bank or a safe deposit box be better for that sort of thing?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Those places are obvious targets for anyone who's searching for precious ancient instruments to take over the world with."

"Lunch is ready!" Martha, Nathan's mother, announced from the bottom of the stairwell.

"Perfect timing." I commented, as the two of us descended the stairs with ocarina resting securely in Nathan's hands.

"John, what's that in your hand?" Adam questioned.

"I'll get to that; do we have a safe? Because I was-mgfff ggmh!" He began to ramble, before I covered his mouth with a paw.

"You'll have to excuse him; he doesn't know how to ease into a topic." I commented wryly as John glared at me.

"U-uh, yes. We do have a safe, but it's just for jewelry. May I ask what this has to do with that thing you're holding?" He asked.

"It's called an ocarina. And John and I were wondering if it could be put in the safe. From what I've read, if it falls into the wrong hands it could have world-destroying implications." Martha and Adam's eyes widened in astonishment. "But only if you assemble twenty-four other ocarinas with it and play a special song."

Adam sighed, rubbing his temple. "Catch me up over lunch, because I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Hope you enjoyed the chapter; please don't hesitate to review or drop me a PM if you have any questions or comments!

-RCTM