Hey guys, sorry again about the long delay between chapters. Moving house, starting university and a medical scare kinda threw me off balance for a while. I've been planning this chapter for a while now, so please forgive me if it's not great – I'm a little rusty. P.S. Sorry it's so short.

Thanks for reading

Ches

Dear Kurt,

Baby I'm so sorry.

I know that doesn't help. I know that you're hurting right now, wherever you are.

We were running late for Jackson's piano lesson, and I've been so stressed already at this new job, I just took my eyes off of him for a second. Literally one second.

Oh god, who am I kidding? This is all my fault. I know you wouldn't forgive me if you were still here. But to be honest, I think my self-loathing is all I can take right now.

It's been 2 weeks now since the accident. I went to court this morning to hear the verdict: Death By Dangerous Driving. The driver was drunk, but I know that doesn't make a difference, I still took my eyes off him.

I am so, so sorry Kurt. So very sorry.

Jackson was such a beautiful little boy, the best son I could ever have. His death has hit me pretty hard, Kurt, what with you being gone too. Part of me is comforted though, knowing that you're up there looking after him. I wouldn't want him to be alone.

I will never forgive myself for what happened, and I have to live every day replaying the image over and over again. I don't know what to do. But I don't feel worthy of asking you for comfort. I promised I would look after Jackson, that was the ONE THING I promised, and I broke that promise.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I miss you both so much, Kurt. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need you.

I'm sorry.

Take care of each other, I love you.

Blaine.