I am not Janet Evanovich. If I were, I guarantee there would be a LOT MORE Ranger smut in each and every book! Instead, I'll just write it for myself and anyone else who wants to read it here!

This is my first attempt at fanfic. I would really appreciate any and all advice you can give me! (Be gentle!)

Chapter 1- Ultimatums

I jumped as my phone started playing the Batman theme song at full volume. Running across the small living room, I grabbed it off of the end table and answered out of breath.

"Yo!"

"Babe that's my line!" Ranger replied. I could picture his lips twitching into his almost smile and the lines around his eyes crinkling.

"I know. I stole it from you! What's up?" I teased back, wondering why he was calling.

"You free for a distraction job tonight?"

"Sure. Where, when, and what outfit?"

"Rage. 10:00. Something short, tight, and black."

"Got it." I answered back.

"Babe." Click. I exhaled a frustrated breath. Didn't this man ever say goodbye? Of course, 'Babe' was a lot closer than the usual nothing I got. That was an improvement right? Some sort of acknowledgement that the conversation was over and that he would be hanging up soon. He was such a frustrating man! Good thing he was drop dead gorgeous! That made forgiving his phone manners a little easier.

I glanced over at the clock. It was already 6:00. I still had to eat dinner and get ready. Four hours sounds like a lot of time, but as any Jersey girl knows, you can never have too much time to get ready! And I, Stephanie Plum, was a Jersey girl through and through.

I checked every cupboard in my kitchen in case the food fairies had decided to stop by with leg of lamb, pot roast, lasagna, or pineapple upside down cake. They hadn't. I was going to have to go food shopping soon; that was for sure! My cupboards had the remainder of a loaf of bread- the 2 heels that I had been neglecting, a jar of peanut butter, a can of tomato soup, an expired box of macaroni and cheese, and some hamster crunchies. The fridge wasn't much better. I had a bottle of ketchup, some mustard, 1 egg, a half empty butter container, 3 bottles of beer, and a jar of olives. Hmm. No cheese to make a grilled cheese, so the soup was out. No milk to make the expired macaroni and cheese. I guessed I was having a peanut butter and olive sandwich. I made my culinary masterpiece and washed it down with a bottle of beer. I would have liked something for dessert, but unless I wanted dry macaroni or ketchup, I guessed I was out of luck.

I headed for the bedroom to assess my clothing options for tonight's job. Rage was a new bar in town. Being a new bar, it was still gaining a reputation. I had been inside once. The walls were French whorehouse red and the chairs and booths were upholstered in black vinyl. The wall decorations had consisted of things that suspiciously resembled torture devices. The waitresses wore black leather bustiers, black leather hot pants, black fishnets, black FMPs, and dog collars. They carried whips, and for an extra $20, they'd use them. Shiver! I decided to shower first and worry about my wardrobe after. Otherwise, I'd still be standing there debating (unshowered) at 9:55!

I showered, shaved, plucked, and moisturized. I assessed my face and hair in the mirror. What look was I going for tonight? I thought back to my one other stop at the club. Slutty, definitely slutty. As in leather, whips, and chains slutty. I grinned at myself in the mirror. This might be fun after all. OK, OK, so it was a job, I got that, but whenever I got dressed for my distraction jobs, I always thought about the reaction that I would get from Ranger as well as the skip we were going after. I made my hair huge and curly. Then I started in on my makeup. I smudged kohl around my eyes and painted my lips a blood red. I swiped on four coats of mascara. That looked pretty good if I did say so myself.

Hmm… I stood in my black lace pushup bra and thong and tapped my foot as I surveyed my options. Ranger had said short, tight, and black. A wicked grin spread across my face. "Ask for, and ye shall receive, Ranger!" I thought as I reached into my closet. I pulled on a plastic skirt that barely covered my ass and a pair of black fishnets. I found a pair of black knee high boots with a 4 inch heel and zipped them on. Still in my bra, I started flipping through the tops in my closet trying to find something that would complete the ensemble. Still shirtless, I heard the locks on my front door tumble and the door open.

"I'm almost ready, Ranger!" I hollered out to him.

I heard footsteps headed towards the bedroom and squeaked when the door opened. It wasn't Ranger. It was Joe. He looked me over from head to toe. His eyes and jaw had a hard set to them. "You're almost ready for what? A night of streetwalking? Jesus, Cupcake! I think some of the hookers on Stark Street might actually have longer skirts than that!"

I crossed my arms across my chest in an attempt to keep myself somewhat covered and glared back at him. "I'm doing a distraction tonight, not that it's any of your business. What are you doing here?"

"I left you a message a couple of hours ago saying that I'd bring Pino's and beer. The boys miss you, Cupcake. I thought maybe we could watch a movie … or something." A slow, sexy grin spread across his face as he said or something.

I rolled my eyes. The boys missed me. Snort. Translation- Joe was horny. "I didn't get the message, Joe. I must have been in the shower. Sorry, but I can't tonight. I have plans."

The grin on Joe's face was replaced by a cold sneer. "Right. You have to go be Manoso's whore for the evening. Sorry. I forgot."

My fingernails dug into my palms as I tried to reign in my temper. It wasn't working. "Knock it off, Joe! I have a job to do."

He took a step closer to me and I could see the fury in his eyes. "You're going out dressed like that. With Manoso. And you expect me to be OK with that? I don't think so, Cupcake."

I took a step back and narrowed my eyes. "You're not my mother, Joe. It's not up to you to approve my outfits. Yes, this is what I'm wearing. We're going to Rage, and this fits the dress code. Now I think you should go."

"Cupcake, come on. Be reasonable. If you want to wear something like this for me, then fine. But I won't allow you to wear this in public. Especially not with Manoso." He took another step closer.

That did it. "What do you mean you won't allow me to wear something like this? We broke up Joe. We're over, done, finished! You have no right to tell me what to wear, where to go, or who to be seen with. Now get out!" I screamed at him.

He smirked at me and stepped closer, so that our bodies were almost touching. "You'll come back, Cupcake. You always do. And when you do, I don't want to hear the ribbing from the guys about you whoring around with Ranger. Now change your skirt." He glared at the end of the statement.

My hand reached up all on its own and slapped Joe across the face. I actually have no recollection of my brain ordering it to happen, but it did. Joe yelped in surprise and then grabbed me by the tops of my arms and shook me. "What the hell, Stephanie?" he roared.

I squeaked in response and looked up at Joe's angry face. His lips were set in a thin line and his nostrils flared as he tried to keep his breathing under control. "Change. The. Damn. Skirt. Better yet, take the whole outfit off and cancel on Manoso."

I struggled against Joe's hands, and he dug his fingers into my arms. "Ow, Joe! That hurts!" I whimpered.

Joe let go of my arms, looking almost shocked that he had been holding me so tight. He shook his head as if to clear it and glared at me. "Cupcake, if you go out with them tonight dressed like this, don't bother calling me again. I've had enough of the comments. You can't be my girlfriend and his whore anymore. You're going to have to pick one."

I just stood there and stared in Joe in shock. My mouth was hanging open, and if my eyes were any wider, they would have popped out of my head.

"Well?" he ground out angrily.

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. "Are you actually waiting for me to answer you?"

"Yes, Stephanie." He said sarcastically. "Which is it? My girlfriend or his whore?"

I snapped and lunged at him. Joe was caught off guard and we both fell to the floor. I was crying and throwing punches wildly. "I am not a whore!" I shrieked at him.

Joe scowled and rolled me over. Straddling my waist, he pinned my hands above my head. "Damn it, Stephanie!" he yelled. "Which is it? My girlfriend or Manoso's whore?"

I kicked and squirmed, but it was no use. He had me pinned to the floor. "Fine!" I spat. "You want me to pick one so bad? I'd rather be Ranger's whore than your girlfriend!"

Joe growled and raised his hand to slap me. I squeezed my eyes closed and winced, waiting for the sting, but it never came. I cautiously opened my eyes and saw why. Ranger was standing over Joe, holding his wrist. Crap! How much had he heard?

Ranger yanked Joe off of me and none too gently passed him off to Tank and Lester who were standing in my doorway with murderous scowls on their faces. Crap, crap, and double crap! How many Merry Men were in my apartment and what had they heard?

Tank and Lester shoved Morelli into the living room and from all of the banging around, I'd say that he "tripped" quite a few times on his way through my apartment.

Ranger knelt down and ran a finger from my temple to my chin. "Babe," his voice was low and concerned "are you OK?" That did it. I couldn't take anymore. I started sobbing. Not quiet tears leaking down my cheeks. Not a little sniffle. Huge, racking, unattractive, snot-producing sobs. I covered my face with my hands and wailed.

Ranger drew me up off of the floor and positioned me so that I was straddling his lap. One hand gently pushed my head down on his shoulder while the other rubbed soothing circles on my back. "Ssshhhh, querida. It's OK." He murmured. He whispered Spanish words in my ear in a low, calming voice and rocked back and forth.

I finally got myself somewhat under control, just a few hiccups escaping. I lifted my head off of Ranger's shoulder. His eyes were dark, showing concern and maybe just a little anger. I was hoping that anger wasn't directed at me. "Thanks for rescuing me again, Batman." I whispered in a scratchy voice, my throat raw from crying. I made a move to stand up off of Ranger's lap, but he stopped me.

"Babe. I think we need to talk." He said in a serious voice.

I nodded and looked down.

"What happened with Morelli tonight?" he asked.

I sighed. He tried to tip my chin up with his finger, but I refused to meet his eyes. "Babe." He said in a quiet voice. "Look at me. Please?"

I sighed again. That was cheating, and he knew it. I couldn't refuse him anything when he said please. I looked up, my eyes welling with unshed tears. He looked back at me with a pained expression on his face.

"Why wouldn't you look at me, Babe?" he whispered.

"Because I was embarrassed." I whispered back. I tried to look back down, but he tipped my chin back up again.

He cupped my face in his hands and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. "Why were you embarrassed, Babe?" he asked.

"When did you come into my room, Ranger? How much of our argument did you hear?" I avoided his question with a few of my own. Besides, I needed to know.

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly. "I came in right as you were tackling Morelli to the floor, Babe."

"Then I'll bet you can guess why I'm embarrassed, Ranger!" I tried again to stand up, but Ranger wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

"Babe. Don't be ridiculous. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Morelli was being an ass. You were right. You are NOT a whore. And you're definitely not MY whore. You're my Babe, my Wonder Woman." As if that made everything better, he leaned my head back and kissed the tip of my nose.

Just then Lester walked into the room. He squatted down next to Ranger and me. "You OK, Beautiful?" he asked. I nodded. "Did he hurt you?" I nodded again.

Ranger pressed his lips together in a tight line. "Where did he hurt you?" he growled.

"My arms," I whispered. "He grabbed the tops of my arms."

Ranger's expression darkened as he looked at my arms. Angry red handprints stood out in stark contrast to my light skin. Ranger gently ran his fingertips across the forming bruises. "Did he touch you anywhere else, Babe?" he ground out through gritted teeth.

I shook my head no.

I shivered and goose bumps popped out on my arms. I was still wearing just a bra. I had been in the process of choosing a shirt when the fiasco with Joe started. Ranger yanked his shirt off and pulled it over my head. I stuck my arms through the sleeves. He wrapped my legs around his waist and stood up, holding me tight to his chest.

"Let's go, Babe." He whispered into my ear.

"Go where, Ranger?" I asked, confused. "I don't think I'm up for the distraction tonight."

"The distraction's been cancelled, Babe. We're going back to Haywood. I want Bobby to take a look at your arms." He paused. "Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want him coming back here and starting something else."

I nodded and leaned my head down on Ranger's shoulder.

"Grab Rex." He ordered Lester. Lester nodded, and the three of us headed towards the living room.

Tank and Joe were sitting on the couch in the living room when we walked through. Joe looked at me curled up in Ranger's arms and let out a roar. He jumped off of the couch and started in our direction. Tank grabbed him and held him in place. He struggled against Tank's arms and glared at me. "Well I guess you've made your choice, Cupcake!" he spat angrily.

I buried my head in Ranger's neck and started crying softly.

Ranger stopped and addressed Joe in a low, menacing voice. "Yes, Morelli, she has. She's mine, and I protect what's mine. You touch her again, and they won't be able to identify what's left of your body."

"Are you threatening me, Manoso?" Joe screamed.

"Not a threat, Morelli. A promise. And I always keep my promises." With an evil smirk, Ranger strode out of the apartment, carrying me down the hall, into the elevator, through the lobby, and out to his Turbo. He buckled me in, and I collapsed into the soft leather, exhausted.

TBC

Please read and review! All comments are welcome! Please make criticism constructive so that I can use it to become a better author!