Best Served Cold

It was a long drive, and the Captain's radio wasn't working. He wasn't sure exactly how it had broken – well, he'd bashed it in a fit of pique during rush-hour traffic one evening, but he was sure he hadn't hit it hard enough to break it – but the fact remained that it was broken. Only the C.D. player worked: the radio only played static.

The Captain hated driving without music or somebody to talk to. He wasn't a man given to pointless introspection, and almost three hours alone with his thoughts would be pitch-fork purgatory for him. Usually, he'd just tune the radio to a classic rock music station and let the soundtrack of his youth accompany him, but now he was reliant on C.D.s.

In this respect, Tintin had been a treasure: he'd gone through the Captain's C.D. collection and burnt a load of his favourite songs on to three blank C.D.s: more than enough to cover the trip out to Antwerp and back.

Chester was in port. The Captain had booked into a hotel, to make sure he got a full night of hell-raising in before his old friend shipped back out to Blighty. Cheered by such thoughts, and having left the traffic choked city centre behind at last and now speeding along the motorway, the Captain reached over and pushed the first C.D. into the slot.

A couple of seconds of silence before Tintin's voice kicked in.

"Captain! I meant to thank you for changing the voice-mail message on my phone. Very thoughtful of you. You have been served: enjoy your drive."

We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!

"What the hell is this?" the Captain wondered aloud.

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy!

"Hang on. Hang on! I know this song…"

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling; gotta make you understand!

"Is that Rick Astley?"

Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!

"Oh! Very funny, Tintin. Nice try." The Captain rolled his eyes and skipped on to the next song.

We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy!

"Oh, come on!" the Captain groaned. He skipped forward again.

We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy!

"What the hell!" He frantically clicked forward, searching for any other song on the C.D. And then he pulled over and tried the second C.D. And then the third. By the time he'd wasted fifteen minutes listening to the same two lines of the same song over, and over, and over again, he had to admit that he'd been served. Hard.

Tintin would pay for this…