A/N: Most definitely am not abandoning EaE, but ever since Tuesday, I've been positively gleeful with this kind of scenario. The format is a bit different than what I'm used to – sorry if all dialogue bugs you, but I thought I'd try it.

Enjoy the snippet!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

"Jesse? What are you doing here, Jesse?"

"You know, your biological mom was great as a vocal coach, but she just didn't quite have the chops."

"My—my mother? But that still doesn't-"

"And Dustin did an even sorrier job. Second place? A disgrace is more like it. They might as well have made out on stage like you guys if they were going to get second place."

"Hey! Can we please get off that -?"

"So, Rachel dear, they finally gave the coveted position to a man of steely determination. A man where nothing will deter him from winning that Nationals trophy. I am that man, Rachel Berry."

"Wait! You're the new Vocal Adrenaline coach? You got them through sectionals?"

"Come, don't act so surprised. I was made for great things, and now I realize this is something I've been meant for all along. LA was just a distraction."

"Well, I'm happy for you, Jesse. It sounds like things are falling into place."

"Yes, well. There's one more thing that would make life perfect. I came to scope out the competition – the competition being you, of course. But I also came so that you and I can once again continue in our Romeo and Juliet passion. What do you say, Rachel Berry?"

"Well, Jesse – I am – I'm flattered. But I love Finn."

"Yes, but you can't actually expect me to believe that your relationship will last much longer. You're like an episode on that disappointment of a show Degrassi."

"I resent that comparison. I'll have you know that Finn and I are very much in a solid relationship. In fact, I should probably mention that"—

"Jesse St. Sucks! Can't say I'm happy to see you. You can thank Kurt for the nickname – he's still pissed for you ripping on him for his Gypsy song."

"Would you kindly refrain from clapping my back, Hudson?"

"Sorry. I tend to get a bit carried away. Good thing you said something, huh? Wouldn't wanna have left any bruises? Ha!"

"Why on earth are you smiling like that? You look like Chuckie."

"What – you don't know?"

"Know what? And Rachel, why haven't you said anything?"

"I – I've been trying to tell you that"—

"Your smile is even bigger, Finn. If that's possible."

"Yeah, well. What can I say? Life is good. Insanely good, actually."

"That insane part might be true."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"I'm just wondering if you've had fun talking with my fiancée."

"F—fian—fiancée? Are you serious?"

"Check out the bling, man."

"Rachel?"

"It's true! Finn and I are getting married."

"Oh man. Your relationship is in an even worse state than I thought."

"Why? Because we're too young?"

"What about your dreams? Dreams that – correct me if I wrong – didn't include premature plans of matrimony."

"What difference does my relationship status have on my dreams? Why are you so narrow-minded-?"

"Rachel-"

"No, Finn. I'm sick of listening to him belittle your feelings for me and vice versa. And I'm so sick of people telling us we'll never make it. Finn and I love each other, and we're committed to each other, and that's all that matters."

"Rachel. Honey. You've made your point. Leave the poor guy, alone. Though he does deserve most of it."

"Sorry, Jesse."

"I accept your apology. I guess congratulations are in order."

"Well, thanks man. Now, how about you see yourself off our stage? You're the worst spy ever, you know. And Jesse?"

"Yes?"

"Just think of it this way – you gave up the girl for a championship, and I gave up the championship for the girl. Guess we both got what we wanted, huh? See ya at nationals."

A/N: Jesse is my favorite "villain". I don't like St. Berry, but I love Jesse. Hope a scenario like this is done this villain – heard through the grapevine he's coming back this season!