Proximity
by BrDPirateMan

"It looks like we're almost done for the day."

"That so?"

"Yeah, after I place this in this here file…" There was the sharp snap of the metal jaws of a ring file binder being closed. "And there! All good now." The bespectacled girl hefted the heavy file in her hands and flashed a look of satisfaction. She turned to the boy who was tinkering around with yet another file.

"What about this one, Shiki?" he asked, tapping his fingers on his file.

The girl, Shiki, said, "Neku, that one…" She then scanned the room quickly for the right place and then nodded her head pointedly in its direction. "…goes into the second cupboard from the left."

It was just another busy afternoon after classes were over. As a newly inducted member of the Student Council, Shiki was charged with a goodly number of duties, and among them was rearranging the mess of paperwork accumulated from the school's various clubs. But even then, the thought of sifting through years of reports, letters and agendas was daunting, which was why she asked Neku to help her out.

As Neku was busy looking around in the cupboard for a suitable place to slot in the file, his mind began to wander. Being in the Student Council, he mused inwardly, must be tough for Shiki. Just sorting out all these files is difficult, and that's just the start! Oh well, at least she's doing great. That, and…

…if it weren't for this, I wouldn't be able to spend time like this with her.

He tried his best to hide the smile that was creeping onto his lips. It wouldn't do for Shiki, the girl he was enamoured with, to get suspicious and pick up on his feelings… He loved her and couldn't get enough of her sweet personality. Despite having a position in the Council, she was still the same old reserved person he grew to like, but then, her shyness was one of her cuter qualities.

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a small scream. He twirled round just in time to see her trip and fall to the floor in a clatter of limbs, paper erupting upwards in a geyser. The folder she was carrying had grown weak with age, and when she fell, the jaws easily came loose and all of its contents – and her hard work – flew out like confetti.

Neku was by her side in an instant. "Are you alright? !"

Shiki rubbed her forehead. When he checked to see if there were any injuries on her face, there were thankfully none; somehow, she must have saved herself.

There was one thing that didn't fit, though. As his gaze on her lingered – oblivious to Shiki, it must be noted – he tried to pinpoint the one thing different about her, but couldn't. He got his answer soon enough though.

"Thanks, Neku. But… agh," grumbled Shiki, "I'm gonna have to sort all of this again. Now where're my glasses?"

He took another quick but thorough look at her again. Ah! So that was it! It was the first time he had seen her without her glasses. The first time he saw her beautiful brown eyes in their true form, without being shielded behind a pair of thick lenses.

And his first thought was, Sh-She's pretty…

He was dazed by her "ugly-duckling-turns-into-swan" moment. Of course, to him she was no ugly duckling, but without glasses she had a completely different look about her. Neither look was bad, just different from each other.

Some part of his subconscious mind was telling him to help her look for her spectacles, but because he was hopelessly distracted, he was merely patting the floor in a blind and mindless way. In the meantime, completely unaware of him, Shiki was diligently searching through the papers, but with bad eyesight this was a difficult task.

Then amidst the chaos, their hands touched. It was for the briefest of moments, and when they quickly realized that Neku's hand had found itself atop Shiki's, they recoiled like they had just come into contact with a hot stove.

In a hurry, Neku blurted the first word he could think of. "A-Accident! It was just an accident… I didn't mean to do that!"

Shiki was growing as red as he was, but she was so stunned she couldn't say a thing. She just gulped and stared at him, fingers resting on her drumming heart. Much like him, she was just as romantically inclined towards him as he was to her. So it was understandable as to the effect a slip-up like this had on her.

He… He touched my hand! she thought giddily. He touched my hand… uh, um.

It was like they were caught up in their own dream world. The few pieces of paper that were still floating in the air were coming down like delicate snowflakes. The whole thing seemed like something out of a romantic film.

But they quickly snapped out of their trance. With laser-like speed she scooped up all the papers from the floor without a single word. Neku didn't even have a chance to help out with the mess.

"Um, well, if… if you're all fine," he stammered sheepishly, "I'll just put those files back."

Both boy and girl returned to the last bits of their work, too afraid and embarrassed to look back at the other. Their hearts were racing, their minds were spinning, and their fingers were trembling where they had touched each other. All they ever did together was talk and go out for the occasional burger or bowl of ramen, but nothing they ever did had a romantic flavour to it. So something like this could only be met with awkwardness that both of them regretted very quickly.

Neku wanted to bang his head against the wall. I should've apologized to her, he thought. Instead I just made up some stupid excuse. I hope she doesn't think less of me because of this…

Similar thoughts plagued Shiki's psyche. What was that? ! she scolded herself. I didn't even say sorry. I'm so stupid! I know it caught me by surprise but… man, Neku must totally think I'm weird now…

By now it was already too late to apologise for something so trivial. Once they were done for the day, they headed back to the locker room to retrieve their things. The whole time, neither of them said a word.

They didn't like the uneasy atmosphere that hung above them like a thundercloud. They wanted to say something, anything to disperse it, but always had second thoughts, fearing that it would only add to it.

Just when the silence was about to get truly suffocating, Shiki spoke up. "Neku, um… thanks. For helping out. I really appreciate it." Her shyness acted up again and she found it hard to maintain eye contact with him.

It took a few seconds for Neku to gather up his scattered thoughts and give a hasty reply. "N-No problem. No… problem, yeah. Shall we get going?"

"Y-Yeah."

As they strolled towards the school gates, both breathed their own sighs of relief inwardly. The aura of weirdness from before had finally dissipated and they were back to being a couple of good old friends.

Friends…

Yes, they were certainly good friends, the best of friends even. They did everything together: going to school, walking back home, hanging out, having fun and laughing about the lighter things in life. They shared the prestige of a closeness that few people enjoyed. And yet, it wasn't enough. They didn't want to just stay like that. It would be nice to move things forward, to say they were in love with the other and to admit that they would just die to go out and do wonderful things like going on dates or holding hands.

Ironically, they did hold hands earlier, for a little while anyway, but that proved nothing except for their inexperience in romance. A pang of disappointment stung them. It only served to show just how ordinary things were between the two of them… just how, regardless of their closeness, they were still merely friends.

That would all change today, though…

XOXOXOXOXO

Their next stop was the train station. Both of them lived in the same neighbourhood and had to take the train to and from school. It was common practice for them to walk together after the train ride since their homes were just a few houses apart.

On the train, they had a hard time simply standing because the crowd was particularly thick today. They found themselves squeezed against the door. They made small talk on the way, and things gradually returned to normal between them both.

Shiki asked, "Neku, have you been to the new café that just opened up?"

"A new café? This is the first I heard of it."

"They say it's got great food at low prices. I've been meaning to try it out, but it's on the other side of Shibuya. That's a long way."

Neku grinned as another opportunity to spend time with her presented itself to him. "Why don't we go take a look this Saturday? If the food is good like you said, I want to give it a try too."

To his delight, she beamed her agreement. "Sounds like a plan. Let's meet up at the train station at, oh… 9 am?"

"Yeah, I'm cool."

They acted like hanging out with each other was a normal thing to do, but words couldn't quite describe how happy and excited they were. Another day to be in each other's company… Surely something good might happen. They couldn't wait.

The train jostled a bit harder than usual, and the passengers found themselves at its mercy, swaying and struggling to keep their balance. The fat man behind Neku stumbled a little, bumping into him and causing the latter to lurch forward. The boy managed to save himself by putting up his hands in time to catch the door. However, this left Shiki pinned and pressed right up against him. She let out a small "eep".

Seeing themselves so close to each other caused some serious palpitations in their hearts. They had never blushed so hard in their lives. It almost looked as though Neku was cornering Shiki in a romantic way, kind of like in those movies where the suave handsome stranger gently traps the innocent female protagonist against a wall, whispering sweet nothings to her and watching her swoon.

Shiki was almost ready to swoon herself, but tried to act as sanely as she could. "N-Neku, you're too close. Can… Can you move?"

"I'm… trying to," mumbled Neku, "but I'm boxed in from all sides. I can't budge at all."

"…Oh." Her voice was very small.

"S-Sorry… This is a little embarrassing."

Once again they could find nothing to say for the next fifteen minutes of their ride. There were some hollow attempts at conversation, talking about the weather and how much homework there would be, but otherwise they were tongue-tied. Stuck in that precarious position they simply couldn't think of anything else, or do anything else for that matter. But it didn't mean they weren't happy.

In their heads, they were almost like a couple already…

XOXOXOXOXO

The whole experience on the train left both teenagers speechless. Neku could still feel her body warmth on his chest where their frames squeezed together. As for Shiki, being so close to the guy she loved made her secretly happy and very, very dizzy.

Neku didn't want to repeat his earlier mistake of forgetting to apologise so he did this time. "I'm sorry, Shiki," was his gallant attempt. "I… I really couldn't move one inch. If only there was a little more elbow room, we wouldn't have been –"

"I… I know already, Neku," stammered Shiki, too shy to set eyes on him.

She was just overwhelmed, but he mistook it as anger. Now having done two things he thought made her feel uncomfortable, he felt doubly guilty and knew a simple sorry wouldn't suffice anymore. Her home was getting near and he didn't want to miss his chance to make up to her…

But before he knew it they had already arrived at her house, and his mind was still blank. He just didn't know what to do.

"Well," said Shiki, her hand on the front gate, "I'm back home…"

"Y-Yeah. Well… I'll, uh, see you tomorrow as usual, then." Disappointment filled him inside. He was about to utter his goodbye for the day when she spoke first.

"Um, Neku!"

"Huh?" What's up with her? he thought. She sounds like she wants to talk to me about something… Oh no, maybe she wants to tell me off about earlier…

Shiki swallowed the wad of spit in her mouth and through a veil of reddened facial skin, she said haltingly, "Neku, would you, uh… would you like to have dinner at my place tonight?"

Bewilderment and surprise caused him to lose his voice temporarily. "D-Dinner?" he said at last. Did he hear her correctly? She was inviting him over to have dinner at her house. He couldn't be sure if he was dreaming or hallucinating. Still, he did ask, "Wh-What's the occasion?"

"You've been looking out for me, Neku," she replied, hands wringing in nervousness. "All this while you've been concerned about my welfare, and you're kind and selfless, and you've been helping me and stuff, so… well… I just wanted to properly thank you." Mustering her gentlest smile, she cleared her throat. "How about it, Neku?"

Dinner with Shiki and her family sounded good. It was a chance to get to know more about her and if he played his cards right, her parents might approve of him and maybe even pester her to hook up with him, making his confession easier. From a tactical and romantic standpoint, he had nothing to lose.

He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to act cool and nonchalant but subtly grateful at the same time. "Sure. I'd love to." He tried his hand at light humour, "I can also get to meet your mum and dad."

She blushed and gave a short laugh, which Neku took as a good sign. "Oh, actually, about that… My parents aren't in tonight. They've got to attend an important function."

"H-Huh?"

"So, um… for dinner, it's just us. Y-Yeah."

He was going to spend dinner with her, just the two of them, alone in her house? His mind's eye saw flitting exaggerated images of a candlelit dinner, with them enjoying the simple yet satisfying taste of home-cooked meals, with no one else in the way to disturb the atmosphere. Following dinner they would cuddle on the couch and talk well into the wee hours of the night before falling asleep in each other's arms. Such imagery was incredibly tantalizing, but to get to that point, he would have to confess to her first! And this dinner would make a great stepping stone towards that goal. But he had to learn to stay calm…

"Let me help too," offered Neku. "With the dinner, I mean. I can't have you doing everything by yourself. Besides, it's more fun cooking together."

Shiki's smile for him radiated like the sun as she let him in. "Why, thank you. That's awfully kind of you. Now, let's get started right away, shall we?"

XOXOXOXOXO

Neku was right. Cooking was more fun when done with someone else. Alone it would have been a slow, tiring affair. But between the two of them, they accomplished so much more in less time and the entire process went by at a brisk and invigorating clip.

"You're surprisingly good around the kitchen, Neku," gushed Shiki, watching him slice up some green onions at a great speed. Then when she quickly realized that her words could be taken at offence, she hurriedly added, "Oh sorry! I didn't mean anything bad by that, really. I was just, you know…"

The kind smile from Neku eased her worries. "Nah, it's cool," he said. "You know that I live alone, so of course I need to know how to cook for myself. Over time I became quite good at it… though you're better."

"Hee hee… Thanks. I guess our culinary skills aren't too shabby, don't you think?"

"I guess. Hey, watch the pot. It's time to add in the radishes, right?"

Shiki took a quick glance at the boiling pot. "Almost time. Give it two more minutes."

Both of them were thinking the same thing. Cooking together is kinda neat! It's almost like we're…

…husband and wife.

Huh? What? Erk! Silly me!

They blushed at the same time too.

Such thoughts tend to make the mind wander, and Neku's concentration was slipping. One minute he was slicing green onions like a pro, the next he had cut himself by accident and was cursing his own carelessness.

"Oh god," breathed Shiki, staring at his bleeding finger. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"Argh, well, no matter," he shrugged, or at least tried to, because the truth was that it hurt a great deal. "It happens sometimes. No big deal."

"I'll get you a band-aid."

She was about to scamper off to find one when Neku stopped her. "No, really, I'm fine. It's okay."

His desire to look cooler and more manly only earned him a stiff glare. "Don't 'it's okay' me," chided Shiki. "It's not a matter of whether you're fine with it or not. I don't want your blood to get in our food while you're preparing it. Last thing we want is for our tempura to taste like iron."

He realized how foolish he must have sounded. "Uh, good point. Band-aid, please." Whoops!

"Don't touch anything till I get back!"

While she was off to fetch a plaster, he watched over the stove and tended to his finger as best as he could since he couldn't – and wasn't allowed to – do any kitchen chores. He rinsed it in the kitchen sink under cold running water but it stung so he popped it into his mouth where he could suck away any blood that was seeping out. On a whim of curiosity he looked at his finger to see how it was holding up, and it was still seeping. It was a pretty bad cut.

Shiki returned while he was still inspecting his mutilated finger. "Got one. Last one in the first aid kit. Hold still, 'kay?"

"Okay – um, Shiki? ! What're you –"

She grabbed his hand and clamped her lips over his finger to prevent any further bleeding and to leave both of her hands free to tear open the band-aid wrapping. Neku didn't even get a chance to say another word more and the next thing he knew, his finger was in her mouth. But if he had sucked on it earlier and Shiki was now doing the same, wasn't this like an…

…indirect kiss? ! Steam was rising from the top of his head. He was so wrapped up in his silly little fantasy that he didn't even know his finger had been wrapped up until Shiki told him.

"All done," she said with a huff. "No more haemoglobin-flavoured soup now, hopefully. Um, Neku? Your face is all red. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I-I'm fine, really. D-Don't worry about me."

"Well, if you say so…"

Cooking went on as usual, but Neku couldn't get the whole thing out of his mind. He had just shared an indirect kiss with the girl of his dreams, and the way she had his finger in her mouth… it was almost like her tongue was lolling and rolling around it…

He could just melt.

Better keep this a secret from her… And it was a prudent decision indeed.

XOXOXOXOXO

All the food had been prepared and both teenagers ended up quite tired from all the cooking. But there's nothing quite like watching the fruits of your labour turn out right, and the sense of accomplishment that they were now filled with was especially rewarding. Now all they had to do was sit down and enjoy it.

"Oh, this looks great," breathed a salivating Neku.

Shiki couldn't agree with him more. "Yeah, let's eat!"

One bite from her tempura and he found himself in heaven. The radish soup that they made together was similarly scrumptious. He had no lack of praise for Shiki, and made sure she knew it. As someone who used to talk very little – during his more anti-social days – he wasn't very good with words, but his sincerity showed that he meant everything he said.

"It's good," he muttered. "Seriously, this is very good. I like it a lot."

Some might expect a more explosive and enthusiastic shower of praises, but Shiki knew how the boy that was Neku worked, so she could tell from his tone and various other subtle nuances in his body language that he was extremely impressed with her culinary performance. She allowed herself to blush in front of him just once.

"Th-Thanks, Neku. And you were awesome with the beef fillets! Seriously, the tenderness and the richness of the black pepper sauce… I don't quite know how to describe it but I love it to death. I wish I could cook like that."

An idea came to Neku. "Hey, uh, wanna swap recipes?"

Shiki was ecstatic. "Oh, yes, please!"

And he felt like a million dollars. Score! She's happy!

Her parents had not returned yet – they would be out till very later, so claimed Shiki – and the house was silent except for the almost hypnotic clicking of chopsticks. The occasional few lines of conversation surfaced every now and then during the meal, but otherwise, they were too busy eating such delicious food to talk. It was also a good excuse to take the opportunity to think deeper about their feelings for each other.

Neku sure cooks well, thought Shiki. Like a pro, even. Who'd have thought? And his hands… they're a little on the rough side, but they're still nice to touch… and so warm… She felt the warmth creeping into her cheeks and filling them up, as she recalled the moment when she had to touch his hands for the second time today to fix his cut finger.

While Shiki's thoughts were demure, Neku's bordered on the fantastical. If she was my wife, he mused inwardly, and we could cook such delicious food together everyday, wouldn't that be just great? The only problem is how to confess to her… Now how do I get round to doing it…

So deep were they inside their own heads that they didn't notice they were reaching for the same bottle of soy sauce until they came into contact with each other's hands for the third time. Their hands snapped away from each other in a hurry.

Needless to say, their first reaction was, again, to blush really hard. Not again, thought Neku in dismay. She's seriously going to hate me for being so careless!

However, despite her obvious embarrassment, Shiki spoke relatively calmly.

"Your hand," she gulped. "Um, your finger. Did… Did I hurt it? When I… touched you, I mean?"

"Huh? No… No, not at all… It's fine."

"Oh, I see. W-Well, then there's no problem, I guess."

"Y-Yeah…"

Quick thinking, Shiki. Neku was glad with the way she dispersed what might have been another ridiculously mortifying aura. If it was him, he wouldn't know how to start explaining for himself. He wouldn't even know if he needed to do any explaining in the first place.

Shiki was glad for similar reasons. That was close. Really close.

They continued eating without another word, blood rushing through their systems like wildfire. In the meantime, the bottle of soy sauce that they originally wanted to get was completely forgotten.

XOXOXOXOXO

Things eased up somewhat after dinner as they did the dishes together. They took cleanup at a leisurely pace to extend whatever time they had left of the night – Neku didn't want to leave so soon, and Shiki didn't want him to either. Of course they could always meet up the next day and have fun all over again, but there were so many things to say… so many things to do…

When Neku was at the doorstep preparing to head back home, Shiki felt longing tugging at her heartstrings.

"You can't stay for a little while longer, Neku?" she asked.

The pang of guilt he felt stabbed him cleanly through. He made his reply as sincere as he could to cushion the impact of Shiki's disappointment on herself – she did love hanging out with him, after all. "I'm sorry, Shiki, but it's getting late. I mean, it's already past nine as we speak…"

"Oh yeah, that's true…"

Man… gulped Neku in his thoughts, now she's kinda depressed. I knew I should've stayed a little longer. And right now it's simply too weird to say, 'Alright, just for a while'.

So now he found himself just outside the front door, bathed in the cool night air, trying to think of some more 'right' things to say and make her feel better. Meanwhile, she just tried to put on a nonchalant front, but it wasn't easy to wrestle with her innermost feelings.

Each tried their best to sound and act natural, however, and their efforts were commendable and convincing for the most part, save for the odd spot of faltering and awkwardness.

"I had lots of fun tonight!" giggled Shiki. "And thanks for the recipe. I can't wait to cook it for Mum and Dad. I'm positive they'll love it! I can't wait to see the looks on their faces."

Neku's words were few but succinct in conveying his satisfaction. "Ah, I had fun too, and thanks for your recipe as well. Let's do this again some time soon."

"Yeah! Sometime soon… yeah."

He noticed that she was fidgeting more than she normally did. He also saw that she was reddening quite a lot, although he wasn't all that surprised. Though he did bring himself to wonder, Is something up with Shiki?

But he still had to get home. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay…"

His reluctance to leave was obvious. It was clear he didn't want to move away from the girl. But move he must. However, when he turned away from Shiki to walk towards the gate of the house, the turning in itself felt like a million years. And his feet… he lifted one to take a step, but it felt as heavy as a log and walking away was the toughest thing. He just wanted to have one more conversation with Shiki, laugh with her one more time…

…and then suddenly, before his foot touched the ground, he felt his hand being grabbed from behind. He gave a start, and then some words stopped him in his tracks… Shiki's.

"Don't turn around." Two long seconds of silence, and she added, "And please listen to what I have to say. But… if at any point this freaks you out, let go of my hand."

The effect of what she said was powerful. He felt as though she had pointed a remote control at him and pressed "pause". His mind was like a sheet of plain paper – blank. Shiki wanted to say something, that much was obvious, but what it was he had no idea. And he couldn't think even if he wanted to. All he could do was to wait and see.

She took the deepest breath she could and let it out slowly and deliberately, steeling herself for her very daunting task…

Her voice was reduced to a whisper, as she was too nervous to talk normally. "Neku, I'm… not really good at subtlety, so what I say now is going to sound really direct and really absurd. But I simply have to say it."

Sweat trickled down Neku's face slowly as he waited, too paralysed to move or do anything for himself. What did she want to say? And what was with that strange tone in her voice? Something about the way she was behaving told him that perhaps she was going to go into a long heartfelt speech about how she loved spending time with him today and that it would be great if they could do something like this again. But it would be a long speech that he wouldn't mind listening to at all.

He prepared himself to be inundated by what he thought could be her many words of gratitude. Sweet words that would feel so nice and warm…

Shiki had other ideas, though.

"Neku," she began, before saying in one full and quick breath, "I like you very much! Please go out with me!"

He almost had a heart attack.

So few words, yet… so powerful. By instinct he looked back in astonishment at her to find that she was burning her eyes into the ground at her feet, with her skin like tomatoes.

Almost immediately she rushed into an apology, but faltered the more she talked. "I'm… I'm sorry that sounded strange. But… it's the truth, Neku. I like you so, so much. I was, well, hoping that we could… um, you know, go out and… stuff. That is, if you're willing.

"Of course," she added softly but with obvious trepidation, "if you decide that we should remain as friends, th-that's fine too… And as usual, if you think the whole thing weirds you out, then… then just let go of my hand."

I can't believe this is happening, thought Neku. Shiki likes me. She really does. God, she really does! I cannot let this chance go to waste. I've been waiting so long for this. I must… do the right thing…

He turned around fully to face her, never releasing her hand from his as he did so.

"I'm not letting go of your hand."

She gasped as she stared at his resolute and determined, if rather nervous, face.

He continued, "Uh, how should I put this… I… I also want to get to know you better, Shiki, and if… if we feel the same way about each other, then why don't we stick together?" He had tried his best. Now all that was left was a final confirmation from Shiki and they would be set.

Nothing could be spoken during the next few moments. Shiki was stunned into speechlessness, while Neku had finished what he had to say, his mind reverted to being a blank piece of paper. But she was the first among them to regain her composure.

"That's a yes, right?" she said with a smile. "A yes to my asking you to go out with me?"

Neku gave a hasty reply. "Um… y-yeah! So… does this mean we're…"

She answered for him. "Yeah, we're a couple now, aren't we?"

Another few seconds of silence ensued, during which they stood, motionless and lost in their own world. Neku was so embarrassed he no longer had a clear idea of what he should do next, hoping Shiki could provide some ideas. On the other hand, she recovered quickly enough with a giggle of relief and joy that brought him back to his frazzled senses.

"Neku… thank you."

"N-No problem. No problem… at all."

She took both of his hands in hers now. "Hee hee. Things are going to be interesting from now on, huh, Neku?"

His silence suggested that there was something else on his mind.

"…Neku?"

"There's just one thing I'd like to point out, Shiki."

"Huh?"

"D-Doesn't it sound more right for the guy to confess instead of the girl?" He glanced away for the quickest second in slight unease. "And… you just beat me to it."

Shiki started to chuckle. "You're saying that me confessing first instead of you makes you feel less of a man?"

The flustered stutter he developed in his speech confirmed this to be true, which amused her to no end. "No, I… well, I just felt it's the right thing to do… as a guy, you know?"

She pawed his arm affectionately. "I get it, Neku. You're just being chivalrous. But that doesn't mean I'm not glad… For you to think this way, it's – I dunno – it's kind of like an honor for me. Sounds silly and clichéd, but… it's almost like you're my knight in shining armour."

Neku gulped, growing dangerously red in the face. "D-Don't call me that…"

"Hee hee."

He had to look away, trying to avoid her lingering gaze and cheeky grin. But his grip on her hand never let up. Neither did hers.

This was the first time they held hands as a couple. And it would be the first of many times they would do so too…