Hey everyone! Man, my break lasted a lot longer than I said, huh? Well, that being said, it feels great being back writing stories! I took a nice, long break, but I'm ready to be back in action! So I've been working on this story for a while, I've had the idea for even longer, and I'm so excited for you all to read it!

I NEED to thank asdfghjklblah right now for her help on this first chapter. Caitee wrote part of this when I just couldn't think of anything and without her, this chapter wouldn't be here! Thanks Caitee! Love you!

Disclaimer: So I learned my last story that I hate these, so I'm just going to do one now that will apply to the rest of the story. I do not now, nor have I ever, owned Big Time Rush.

James was stressed. He was tired and overwhelmed and he didn't know how much more he could take. He had only been in L.A. for a little over a year, and while he was living the dream, his dream, it had not come without sacrifices. Big Time Rush was bigger than ever, but that also meant James and the other guys had more responsibilities, more requirements, and less time to breathe. The bottom line was, the guys were stressed.

A little stress can be good, it can be constructive. It can encourage one to get the job done and it can keep society going. No stress equals no work, so stress can be a good thing. To a certain point. There is a fine line between a healthy amount of stress and too much stress. James was beginning to learn what happens when you cross that fine line.

Too much stress is like a disease. It engulfs you and controls every aspect of your life. It's a nagging sensation that never quits, never gives up. Too much stress can cause people to do some pretty crazy things, things they wouldn't normally do. They will do anything they have to get rid of the overwhelming feeling, even if it hurts their friends and family and eventually, themselves. Anything to numb it.

Too much stress can be dangerous, James was beginning to learn. It can strike anyone, anywhere. Even in apartment 2J.

"James!" Kendall yelled as he grabbed a banana from the fridge. "Get out of the bathroom! Gustavo said to be at the studio at eight! We're going to be late!"

The bathroom door opened to reveal James, looking flawless as always. "Calm down, Kendork. I'm ready."

Kendall just shook his head. "Whatever, Prom Queen."

"I told you never to speak of that again!"

Kendall chuckled. "Ok, ok. Let's just go. Carlos and Logan are already in the limo." James nodded and, together, they left the apartment. When they stepped into the limo Kelly had sent for them, Carlos and Logan had grumbled about how long it had taken them, but Kendall and James just ignored it. The four arrived at Roque Records after fifteen minutes.

"Dogs! You're five minutes late!" Gustavo yelled when he saw the boys walking down the familiar hall.

Logan gestured to James. "He was late getting ready."

"Calm down, Gustavo," Carlos said as he draped his arm over James' shoulder and patted his chest. "You can't rush our beauty queen." Kendall, Carlos, and even Logan started laughing as James plastered on the same fake smile he put on every time Kendall, Carlos, or sometimes Logan told one of their "jokes". They never knew how much the jokes really hurt him.

Gustavo rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just get in the sound booth!"

Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan nodded and walked into the sound booth. They spent the next four hours straight singing the new songs Gustavo had written and then another two hours having Mr. X teaching them the dances to the new songs. By the end of the day, all the boys were exhausted.

"Ok, you guys," Kelly said. "You can go home for the day. Good work on the new songs. Be back early tomorrow though—we still have tons of work to do." James sighed. He was incredibly stressed and extremely frustrated with his friends. Was more work really going to make a difference? No, James thought, it won't. He closed his eyes as they all got back into the limo.

When the boys arrived back at the Palm Woods, James headed straight to his bedroom, trying to avoid all contact with his friends. By the time he managed to barely touch the doorknob of his and Kendall's bedroom, however, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were already lingering in the hall, watching after him.

"Where you going, James?" asked Kendall, uncapping his bottle of soda. "It's finally over—all that work. Don't you want to go relax on the couch or something?"

"He's probably going to do his hair," snickered Carlos before shooting James a sheepish smile. "Are you worried that the volume got deflated during practice?"

James struggled not to roll his eyes as he let his fingertips slip off the tip of the doorknob. He shrugged and stifled a yawn, replying quietly, "I'm just tired from all the work, guys. I'm just going to go to bed."

"Are you sick, James?" inquired Logan as he started reaching his hand to James' forehead. The doctoral brunette didn't stop at anything when his friends were unusually tired; it was a first instinct for him to question them.

James pushed Logan's hand back down and shook his head honestly. "No. I'm just really tired."

"Yeah, Logie, he's tired," piped up Kendall, a teasing grin playing at the corners of his lips. "Let little Jamesey get his beauty sleep."

"Ha ha, yeah, beauty sleep," repeated James. He tried not to roll his eyes and sigh with distain as he turned towards the door. He went inside the room with haste and didn't turn back once, fearing his friends' teasing smirks.

Flopping onto the bed, James let out a long, frustrated sigh. He had never been so annoyed and hurt by his friends so much in his life. Before, when they tossed around those "jokes", he would simply laugh it off, then tackle them, and then blow it over within the hour, not taking them seriously. However, the stress of all the rehearsals and work were piling up on him, and their teasing was definitely not helping. It was just building up the pressure inside him; frankly, James didn't like it.

But he didn't say anything. He wanted to say something, but he didn't. Tears filled his eyes at the thought of the things his friends have called him. Sleeping Beauty. Beauty Queen. Prom Queen. Other girly, dissatisfying names popped in his head and James groaned, rolling onto his back and shoving a pillow into his face. He wouldn't cry over these things, he couldn't cry over these things. He felt like a girl if he cried, and then the words he friends had harmlessly said to him would feel true. At a time like this, it wouldn't help him. James thought crying made him weak; at the same time, if he cried to Kendall, Carlos, and Logan about this, they'd just tease him about how much more girly he seemed to get through those tears.

It was hard to take these things in. James usually made it through the day without a droplet of stress weighing him down, but it was difficult this time, for whatever reason. He didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't seek help from his friends, and he didn't know if there was anyone else he could turn to. After all, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan had always been his light; however, now, he wasn't so sure about that.

His breaths were staggered and uneasy as his emotions began to take over him. He stood from the bed and walked like a zombie to the bathroom, where he gazed at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, strained from his attempts not to cry at all this time. He didn't get why his friends called him a beauty queen. Truthfully, he felt his reflection in that mirror was hideous, and the stress continued to build, brick by stressful brick, just looking at it.

James clenched his fist and ripped open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, just so he wouldn't have to look at it. His eyes, having nowhere else to go, rested on the medicine cabinet and its contents. And that's when he first saw it.

The bottle of pain killers the doctor had prescribed to him when he hurt his back a few months ago. The bottle was practically full; he had only taken a few and had put them in the cabinet without a second thought. However, as he stared at the bottle, a thought entered his mind.

Maybe—just maybe—this is what James needed to melt away the stress. People used these all the time, it wasn't a big deal. James just needed the stress to stop, the pain to stop. Isn't what these things are for?

With a shaking hand, James reached for the bottle.

Um, I don't really know what to say after that. What I have to say doesn't matter though; it's what YOU have to say. What did you think? Did you love it? Hate it? I'm really going to be putting my absolute all into this story and I really hope you all like it.

Another big thanks to Caitee!

Can I get some reviews? Tell me what you liked! Tell me what you hated! Please, just tell me what you thought of this!