A/N – This chapter contains explicit sex.

There was nothing soft or delicate about this. Anders's kisses were hard and demanding. His hands were everywhere. Autumn responded in kind, hungry for him after all their time apart.

She wanted him. Maker, she wanted him. She pulled urgently at his shirt, desperate to touch his skin, and somehow managed to get it off. His breeches quickly followed. Her own bathrobe was gone in an instant. Anders's hand slid down between her legs, and he groaned to find her hot and ready.

"Maker...Autumn..."

He kissed her shoulders, her breasts. His teeth grazed her nipple, then his tongue lapped at it soothingly. His fingers found her center and began to tease at it.

Autumn's back arched. Anders knew her body intimately, and coaxed tremor after tremor from her taut frame. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, his hair. Anders's cock pressed hard against her leg. She could feel her climax rapidly approaching.

"Anders, please..." she managed to beg.

Anders knew what she wanted. He moved his head back up to nuzzle at her ear. His cock nudged against her entrance. The hand between her legs let out a tiny wisp of magic. A rejuvenation spell, to increase arousal.

Her body bucked involuntarily. The spell, when she was already so close to orgasm, was almost unbearable. The tingling sensation that came with it nearly made her come right then and there.

She whimpered.

"Autumn," Anders said, and thrust inside her.

Autumn's body was on fire. Anders was the only thing she was aware of–the contours of his back as she clutched at it, the feel of his lips against her ear. He thrust into her at just the right angle, his pelvis grinding against her center. She couldn't hold out much longer.

"Come for me, Autumn," Anders whispered, his own climax clearly approaching.

It was too much. Autumn went over the edge, her body exploding with pleasure.

"Anders..."

"Oh, fuck," Anders moaned, and with one hard thrust he followed her, his body shuddering above hers. Autumn held him tightly, riding out both their orgasms, until he collapsed on top of her.

"That was incredible," Autumn murmured.

She expected him to smile, perhaps to roll over and clean himself up. Instead, he pulled her tighter into his arms, pressed his face against her neck and heaved a shuddering sigh.

"Oh, Hawke," he whispered. "I love you so much. Maker help me, but I love you."

Anders held Autumn as she slept.

Monster. Do you call this justice? This is deceit. She cannot know what you truly are. There is nothing just about what you do to her.

Dimly the apostate wondered whether this thought stemmed from Justice or Anders. It was a disturbing game he sometimes played with himself, to attempt to untangle the origins of his thoughts, to trace this one back to the part of him that had once walked the Fade, smiting inequity, and that one to the man who had huddled in a templar cell, desperate for human contact of any kind. It was a game that got harder and harder to play as time went on.

When it came to thoughts about Autumn, the game was nearly impossible. Both halves of his soul loved her fiercely, and both of them were sick about what he'd done.

As if she could sense what he was thinking, Autumn mumbled in her sleep and tightened her arms around him. Maker, she was perfect. It really was unfair that the Maker sent him this temptation, such a beautiful spirit wrapped in an exquisite body. She never believed him when he told her, but her lithe, muscular form was the pinnacle of his desire.

He had never stood a chance against her.

Because you are weak.

He was something that should never have existed. He didn't have a right to things like love and happiness. He knew that, but he'd taken them anyway, and Autumn would be the one to pay the price.

"Don't."

Anders started. Autumn was awake, looking up at him somberly.

"Whatever you're thinking. Don't. You're not going to pull away from me again. I won't let you."

Anders stared at her. The expression on her face was fierce now, almost the way she looked before charging into battle.

"You love me," she said, and Anders thought he heard a tremor in her voice. "I know you do. You can't tell me that you don't."

Anders's throat was dry. "I adore you." It was all he could say. There weren't words to explain the depths of his feelings for her.

Autumn let out a shaky sigh. "I choose to be with you," she said. "All of this, what you've been doing–avoiding me, putting this distance between us–something awful is coming, isn't it?"

Anders froze.

"I won't let you leave me." Autumn's fingers tightened around his arm. "I knew what I was doing when I started this. You don't get to decide for me that the risk is too great. That's my choice, and I made it a long time ago."

Her words brought Anders up short. So that was how she saw things. He never wanted to take away her choice, but if he knew he would cause her pain...how could it be right to continue on that path?

"Why?" The question spilled involuntarily from his lips.

Autumn blinked. "What?"

"Why would you choose me? I can only hurt you. I've told you that, over and over, from the beginning. Why haven't you pushed me away? Why do you let me stay with you?"

Hawke gripped his arm a little tighter. "Because losing you is the only thing I'm scared of," she said.

In less than a week, she would lose him anyway, and it would be far worse than if he'd simply left. But he knew now that he would never be strong enough to willingly give her up. He could hardly believe he'd had the courage to try. He'd offered to step aside for Tallis, but he knew in his heart that had she said yes, he would have fallen on his knees, begging her to change her mind and take him back. He didn't have it in him to let her go.

"I won't leave," Anders said. "I'm yours, Hawke. I'll be here until–"

He stopped.

Autumn's forehead creased. "Until?"

Until you kill me.

"Anders?" Autumn gave his arm a little shake. "Until what, exactly?"

Anders let out a breath. "Until you send me away."

Hawke rested her head against his chest. "That will never happen."

Anders drew her close, lifting her chin for a passionate kiss.

We'll see.