Disclaimer: Seeing as my initials are not JKR, I cannot claim to own them.

A/N: Just thought I'd take a tiny break from Bound to Him and write something a little more light-hearted.

As always, reviews are lovely!

Misfortunes in Spying

"He's up to something!" Harry shouted, slamming his fist against the table. "I know it!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow as she walked into the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. "Who's up to something?"

"Snape," Ron muttered, taking another large bite of his sandwich.

"It's Professor Snape, Ronald," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes as she pulled out a chair and sat down. "And if you haven't figured out he's on our side yet, Harry, I honestly have no hope for you."

Harry fixed her with a glare, which she ignored as she reached for her own sandwich from the platter.

"Doesn't mean he can't be up to something," Ron said with a shrug.

Shaking her head, Hermione took a bite and chewed contemplatively. She swallowed and, upon noticing Harry's scowling face, she sighed loudly. "Harry, how many times has he saved your life over the seven years we've been at Hogwarts?"

"All the time acting a complete git," Ron answered.

"Not to mention, he risks his life spying on You-Know-Who -"

"Still a git."

"- brews the Wolfsbane every month for Remus - "

"While being a total git."

"-and keeps the Order provided with a steady supply of healing potions and salves," Hermione added, matter of factly. When Ron opened his mouth to add another comment, she met his eyes with a cold glare. "So help me, Ronald, if you say 'git' one more time, I will shove that sandwich down your windpipe."

Swallowing nervously, the redhead dropped his gaze to the tabletop.

Hermione turned back to the other boy at the table. "Fine, Harry - why do you suspect Professor Snape of 'being up to something'?"

"Think about it, Hermione," Harry stated as he leaned forward. "It's been over two years since we've been coming to Order meetings, right?"

"Yes..." she answered, slowly.

"And in all that time, when has he ever taken to spending time here? He's always showed up to brief the others and then left as soon as the meeting dispersed."

"O-kay."

"And now," he answered with a sweeping gesture, "all of a sudden he's staying the ENTIRE holiday! He even has a room...TO HIMSELF!"

Hermione sighed. "I think you're reading too much into this, Harry. They've had a meeting nearly every day so far, except on Easter itself. Professor Dumbledore probably requested he stay close by."

"Or maybe Voldemort did," he bit back quickly.

"Harry," she addressed him with a concerned gaze. "Come on - that's not fair."

Harry sighed finally, and nodded. "You're right, 'Mione. It's still a little strange, though."

"We could always keep an eye on 'im," Ron added. "Just to be sure."

Hermione threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. "You two are ridiculous! You think you're going to spy on a master spy and not get caught? Honestly, even if he were doing something, he'd hardly be stupid enough to try it in front of the entire Order."

Harry and Ron glanced at each other and then slowly nodded in agreement.

"Sorry," the dark-haired boy muttered with a smile in her direction. "I guess I just get tired of him glaring at me all the time. I'm glad you're here to talk some sense into me."

"Just keep that in mind," she nodded primly.

Ron grinned goofily. "Where would we be without you, 'Mione?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. "Probably still stuck in third-year Potions."

"Merlin," he whispered while Harry began to laugh. "That would be horrid, wouldn't it?"

X

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X

Severus sighed as he stepped into his room for the night. He rubbed his temples in an effort to relieve the tension that had built up during that evening's meeting. Unfastening his robes, he let the heavy garment drop from his shoulders and then tossed it onto the dingy wingback chair by the window. He sat down in the chair long enough to pull off his dragon hide boots and neatly arrange them before once again standing. He had just begun undoing the cuffs of his shirt when the sound of the doorknob turning caused his attention to snap towards the door.

The dark, wooden door creaked softly as it slid open just wide enough for a feminine figure to slip into the room. She shut the door silently behind her and gave a brief sigh of relief as she leaned against it.

"Miss Granger?" Snape raised an eyebrow at the girl. His tone was one of warning, but the movement of his eyes quickly betrayed that his displeasure was contrived. He fought to maintain a straight face as his gaze flitted down to the hem of her skirt and then slowly traveled down her long, bare legs.

A devilish grin crossed the girl's face as she rushed towards him, throwing her arms around his waist.

Severus placed a hand beneath her jaw and tilted her head slightly to the side. He brought his lips against hers in a tender kiss, smiling at the soft gasp it elicited from her. He soon pulled his face from hers and gazed into her eyes. His heart skipped a beat as he saw the look of longing they held.

Hermione pulled her arms back to run her hands across his firm chest. "I've been waiting ages for Professor Dumbledore to stop talking and release you for the night."

"Is that so?" he drawled, dipping his head close to hers again. "I myself have been waiting nearly as long for that old fool to finally run out of steam."

"Yes," she answered breathily, staring hungrily at his mouth. "I've missed you terribly. We've had so little time together over the holiday, and I couldn't bear the thought of returning to Hogwarts tomorrow without seeing you at least once."

She was close enough to him that he could feel her eyelashes brush against his skin.

"You are aware, of course, that the entire Order has been traipsing through this house all day," he chided silkily, his mouth hovering a fraction of an inch from hers. "And that any number of them could have seen you so foolishly sneaking into my quarters."

"Of course," Hermione smiled, barely brushing her lips onto his. "Just makes it more exciting...Professor."

His responsive snort was cut short by the force in which she kissed him. He could feel his lower body beginning to respond to the situation as they began exploring each others' mouths much more fervently. He snaked one hand around her lower back and pulled her against him.

Hermione giggled into his mouth as she felt the bulge in his pants pressing into her waist. Without breaking their lip-lock, she began slowly guiding him towards the bed. When they had reached their destination, she pulled from his embrace and forcefully pushed him onto the foot of the bed.

"Besides," she said, standing in front of him and beginning to unbutton her blouse. "I was planning on using Harry's invisibility cloak again, but, for the life of me, I couldn't find it."

He smirked as he watched her delicate hands move onto the next button. "You mean to say you couldn't locate an invisible object? And here I thought you to be the brightest witch of the age."

"Hush," she scolded, halting in her removal of her clothing. At the glimmer of disappointment that appeared in his eyes, she laughed.

Severus looked up at her in feigned hurt before grabbing the edge of her skirt and pulling her closer to him. Clearly dissatisfied with her unbuttoning of her blouse, he quickly set to doing it himself. "No doubt Potter is utilizing it in some hare-brained scheme designed to sully the reputation of the young Miss Weasley."

"I'm afraid your hypothesis is incorrect this time," Hermione chuckled as he finally succeeded in divesting her of the article of clothing. "You see -the young Miss Weasley is safely hidden away in our room at the moment...sleeping...alone."

Snape gave a small grunt before turning his attention to an attempted removal of her skirt.

She ran a hand lovingly through his hair as a mischievous glint appeared in her eye. Quickly capturing his wandering hands and preventing him from completing his task, Hermione straddled his legs and pressed herself against him. She smiled at the groan it elicited from him. "So it appears, my dear sir, that the only one sullying any young girl's reputation here tonight is you."

"Ah yes," he answered, pausing often to plant a trail of kisses across her neck and chest. "Tell me...does your halo...hang crooked...now that it's been...tarnished...by the greasy...Dungeon Bat?"

Laughing, Hermione let her head roll back. "No, but it is rather dented... from having to hit you over the head with it so many times until you finally noticed I wanted to be with you."

"Well it was highly illogical," he mumbled as he quickly freed her from her lacy, black brassiere. It had barely hit the floor before he took one of her nipples into his mouth.

Hermione gasped and dropped her hands to rest atop his shoulders.

A sudden warmth on his lap caused Severus to release the tender skin and chuckle. "My dear, it seems you've soaked your knickers already."

She slipped her hands into his hair and pulled his lips back up to hers. When she broke the kiss, she smiled and licked her lips. "It appears you are oh-for-two this evening, Professor."

His eyebrows rose in mild surprise. "Meaning?"

"Meaning..." she replied huskily, "...I'm not wearing any."

A hungry look appeared in his eyes as the corner of his lip lifted in a sneer. "Imagine what your little boyfriend would have thought if he knew you were so inappropriately dressed at the dinner table."

Hermione pulled back from him and fixed him with a cool glare. "Jealousy doesn't become you, Severus."

Snape smirked. "And yet I've always been told green was my color."

She shook her head and stood up from his lap. "Ronald is NOT my boyfriend - you of all people should know that. He's practically my brother, for Merlin's sake."

Tilting his head somewhat to the side, he regarded her with a wicked grin. "First your brother and then your professor. Woman, does your depravity know no bounds?"

Hermione let out an amused snort and rolled her eyes. She quickly let her skirt drop to the floor and stepped out of her shoes. She resettled on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "My depravity only knows you, you stupid git."

Severus smiled as he stared into her eyes. "Gods, I love you."

"I know," Hermione whispered.

"Know-it-all."

"Hey!" She narrowed her eyes. "What happened to insufferable?"

He ran his hands down her naked torso and then placed a quick kiss at the base of her throat. "Witch, I could suffer you for the rest of my days."

"Is that so?" she asked, feigning innocence. "Well if that's true, you're wearing entirely too many clothes to properly suffer me now."

"Indeed," he agreed. In one swift motion, he lifted her from his lap, turned, and deposited her somewhat roughly in the middle of the bed. He then quickly stripped out of his shirt and trousers before climbing atop her naked body.

"These, too," Hermione instructed, pulling on the waistband of his boxer shorts. "You can leave the socks, though. Your feet are always bloody cold."

Snape laughed as he tossed his boxers to the floor and then repositioned himself on top of her. He promptly sought her mouth as he pinned her arms above her head.

"Much better," she stated breathlessly, wrapping her legs about his waist as she felt his erection was situated at her opening.

"I aim to please, Miss Granger," he responded before plunging into her.

X

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X

Sometime later, Hermione rested her head on his bare chest. His arm was snaked beneath her body with his hand resting upon the side of her hip.

"Severus?" she whispered, unsure if he were still awake.

"Hmm?" came the muffled reply.

Hermione let out a large puff of air. "Do you ever wonder what will become of us when all of this is over?"

Snape swallowed nervously. "I do."

"And?"

"And if by some miracle we are victorious, and I live to see you at the end of the war," he replied, pulling her closer to him when she shivered and using his fingers to trace small circles across her hip, "I stand by my earlier promise to suffer you as long and as often as you will permit me."

When he felt the first tear trickle onto his torso, he frowned and began running his hand along her arm. "What's wrong?"

"I wish sometimes that we didn't have to sneak around like this." She sniffled as she felt his hand still suddenly. "I just want to be able to tell everyone how I feel about you."

"Hermione," he cautioned.

Sighing, she moved her hand to the middle of his chest. "I know that I can't. I realize the consequences, believe me. If anyone discovered us, you could lose your teaching position, and if Vold - er, You-know-who -found out, he'd probably have you killed, and... that would destroy me."

"Worse yet," Snape interrupted her with a slight smile, "You'd probably be expelled."

Hermione snorted softly before tilting her head back to stare up at him. "I'm being serious, you know."

Severus sighed as he met her gaze. He wiped away the lone tear from her cheek and then covered her hand with his own. "I do know. And there will come a day when we can be together."

"In the open?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

He chuckled softly as he squeezed her against him. "In the daylight even."

A wily grin slid across her face. "Well that should put to rest any talk of you being a vampire."

"Only if you keep your hair down and your neck covered, my dear," he answered with an equally dark smirk.

Hermione giggled as he moved his hand to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

"I shall tell you one thing, though," Severus commented after several moments of comfortable silence. "I think I fear Minerva's reaction to it more than I would the Dark Lord's."

She laughed loudly and nodded against his chest. "As well you should. At least he would be merciful enough to kill you afterwards. Professor McGonagall would torture you endlessly and then make you live with the pain."

"And probably without a certain appendage that I find quite vital," he added mournfully.

Hermione propped herself up from the bed and grinned at him. "How positively terrible! I happen to quite fancy that appendage."

"Oh, you do, do you?" he smirked, tilting her chin upwards with his finger. "I would never have guessed."

"We are speaking of the same appendage, are we not?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, if you were suddenly to find yourself without your right arm, I would be absolutely devastated."

Severus narrowed his eyes as he watched the playful light dancing in her eyes. He shook his head in mock disbelief before suddenly rising from the mattress, slipping his right arm around her waist, and pulling her body beneath his.

Hermione yelped in surprise and then began giggling as she found herself staring up at him. "So we weren't thinking of the same one then? If you'd like to attempt to sway my opinion, Professor, I'd be open to hearing your... arguments."

Snape groaned as she slowly thrust her pelvis against his arousal.

"Is that a yes?" she asked, slipping her fingers through his hair and pulling his head closer to hers.

He chuckled as he sought out her lips for a passionate kiss. He was grinning madly when he pulled away. "You are an insatiable one, aren't you?"

"Insatiable know-it-all," Hermione purred. "I quite like the sound of that."

"Indeed," he whispered before capturing her mouth in another kiss.

X

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X

As the first traces of sunlight began to creep through the cracks in the window shades, Severus groaned and covered his face with his arm. After a few minutes, he rolled onto his side and slid his hand across the cold expanse of sheets beside him. Opening his eyes with a sigh, he stared at the empty side of the bed. Hermione had reluctantly slipped out from his embrace hours before to make her way back to her own room before anyone noticed her absence. He had awoken sometime later thinking he had heard her return, but after scanning the room and finding nothing but darkness, he knew he must have been dreaming.

Severus closed his eyes and tried to remember the feeling of her warm body pressed up against him. Smiling, he knew she was not the only one longing for the day when he could wake up with her still occupying the space beside him.

Hearing muffled voices beyond his door, Snape yawned and forced himself into an upright position. He had not gotten nearly as much rest as he had needed, but he knew that he would never have traded that night for all the sleep in the world. He could easily claim this to be the most enjoyable Easter holiday he had ever experienced.

Rising from the bed and moving to gather his discarded clothing, Severus snorted as he imagined the looks on all of their faces if he and Hermione were to walk down to breakfast together. Merlin, he would even hold her hand if only to catch the horrified expressions of the Weasley menaces. Albus would try to hide his shock and fix them with a disapproving glare, while the wolf would likely spring to his feet with a menacing growl.

And if he were to kiss her right there in front of them all! Complete chaos would undoubtedly ensue. There would be yelling for sure, and he smirked as he realized that Molly Weasley might even faint dead away. All that effort spent on grooming Hermione to be the perfect daughter-in-law only to have it squandered away upon the dreaded Potions Master.

Of course, no one would ever believe that she had been the one to seduce him. Hermione was far too innocent to ever be suspected of anything of the sort. Potter and the youngest Weasley boy would sooner accuse her of being confunded or imperioed before they would believe she could possibly have any sort of romantic feelings for the Greasy Git.

Wait a minute. Snape froze as he stared at the foot of the armchair. One of his boots had been haphazardly knocked aside. He distinctly remembered setting them upright and together beside the chair. Hermione had been nowhere near the chair - she could not have tripped over them on her way out the door.

The door. He knew he had heard it creak shut! It was not a dream at all - someone had left the room. Someone who had been hiding behind the chair.

Severus slowly wiped a hand down his face as he remembered what Hermione had said. She could not find Potter's Invisibility Cloak and had to resort to sneaking about the old-fashioned way instead. They both knew Potter always kept the cloak in the same place, lest he himself ever lose it.

"Potter," he growled angrily, collapsing into the chair. The little brat had never trusted him, and now it appeared the Boy-Who-Lived had taken to snooping through his room. There was nothing to find, of course, but it was the boy's utter disregard for authority or privacy that was the problem.

"Fuck!" Snape's eyes widened in sudden realization. He had spent half the night with Hermione Granger writhing eagerly beneath him. If Potter had been in the room then - if Potter had seen them together - they were screwed. If the little twerp ever breathed a word of it to anyone, it would all come crashing down around their ankles faster than he could say 'Obliviate'.

It really did not matter to him that his position as a spy would be over, or that his teaching career would go up in flames, or that the Dark Lord would put price on his head, or even that his fellow Order members would pound his skull into a fine dust. What mattered to him was that Hermione would be ruined. Her Head Girl status would be revoked in the blink of an eye, and she would have to fight tooth and nail to even stay enrolled as a student. All the other little monsters and their parents would argue that her high marks were a result of her sleeping with a professor, and in order to protect the reputation of the school, the Board of Governors would have no choice but to order her immediate expulsion. Shunned two months before her expected graduation, she would be banned from sitting her NEWTS, and would have virtually no prospects for future employment in the Wizarding World.

Feeling slightly nauseous, Severus hurriedly finished dressing and then reached for his boots. He had to find the boy and determine just how much he knew.

X

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X

A few hours earlier, two pairs of shoes and two sets of pant cuffs could be seen moving down the hallway. A door opened seemingly by itself, and the shoes stepped into the room beyond.

As the door clicked shut, two boys suddenly appeared from beneath the Invisibility Cloak in the middle of their shared bedroom.

"Hermione...and SNAPE!" Ron hissed. "No wonder she didn't want us spying on him!"

Harry shook his head in disgusted disbelief. "I think I'd have rather found out he's been working for Voldemort."

"Seriously, mate," Ron muttered, shaking his head. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Harry dropped the cloak to the floor, and nodded as he collapsed onto his bed. "I thought your mind was supposed to block out traumatic experiences...you know, to protect yourself or something."

"If only," the redhead whispered morosely, as he laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I don't think I'm ever gonna get that outta my head."

"Me either," Harry agreed. "I think I need a new Invisibility Cloak."

"Why?" Ron jerked up onto his elbows. "So you can sully my sister? I don't think so!"

The other boy glared at him from across the room. "No! Because apparently our friend's been using it to rendezvous with Snape. Who knows what they've done with it!"

"Oh, right," Ron whispered, settling back onto his bed. A few awkward seconds ticked by until he squirmed in disgust and bolted upright. "Merlin, I touched that! I need a shower...like right now!"

"You can't," Harry muttered without glancing in his direction.

"And why the bloody hell not?"

"Because," Harry hissed, sitting up. "It's almost four in the morning! You'll wake somebody up, and considering where the bathroom is, you know who it'll be."

Ron blanched, realizing that the shower was butted right up against the same wall as Snape's headboard.

Harry raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Told you."

"Yeah, you're right," his friend nodded. "It's gonna be hard enough seeing him at meals without thinking of...that."

"At least we don't have Potions anymore," Harry responded.

"No kidding. You don't think he'll be at breakfast, do you? I'd like to be able to eat at least one meal between now and graduation."

X

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X

Severus knew the moment he stepped foot in the kitchen that not only had Potter seen, but so had his dimmer-witted ginger companion. It did not take a Legilimens to note the greenish hue that spread across their faces as soon as he came into view.

"Potter. Weasley," he said with a cold glare, stalking to the end of the table. The two boys barely managed a muffled 'Professor' in response.

"Oh, Severus!" Molly chirped happily. "Good morning! Hungry?"

He had every intention of turning down the offer, but when Hermione chose that exact moment to appear in the kitchen, he smirked dangerously and answered, "Famished."

The Weasley matron smiled brightly as she turned back to her pots and pans. "Glad to see you've finally worked up an appetite, Severus."

Hermione caught his eye and blushed wildly as she moved to her own seat.

There was a loud clanking as both Ron and Harry dropped their forks, disgust clearly written upon their features.

"Ah, Hermione!" Molly turned back from the stove to glance at her. "Ginny up yet?"

"Not yet," she smiled. "I can go and get her, though."

"No, I'll go!" Ron shouted, leaping up from his seat.

"I'll help!" Harry shouted, following suit.

"Nonsense," Molly chided. "Finish your breakfast, boys. Hermione is more than capable."

Ron and Harry traded looks of defeat and slumped back into their chairs. Hermione gave them a bemused glance before disappearing back up the stairs in search of her roommate.

Severus felt the corners of his mouth twitching as the two boys shifted nervously. While Molly busied herself with breakfast for the latecomers, he silently rose from his seat and made his way towards them. Wordlessly casting a Muffliato charm, he slammed his hands on the back of their chairs and leaned his head in between theirs.

"One word to anyone about what you saw last night," he hissed, "and I will make sure you die a very slow and painful death, is that understood?"

The two boys gulped and nodded nervously.

"And," Snape continued, "if either of you cause her any distress - any hint of slight at all - I will personally hand you both over to the Dark Lord and not feel even the least bit of remorse. Are..we..clear?"

"Y-yessir," Ron stammered, chancing a glance at his angry face. "T-though if you w-want to Obliviate us, we won't mind."

"No objections whatsoever," Harry chimed in.

"Oh no," Severus said with an evil grin. "Since you two fancy yourselves to be budding spies, I've decided to take you under my wing, as they say, and teach you the first, and most, important lesson in espionage."

"And that is?" Harry ventured, while Ron's eyes widened in fear.

He leaned in even closer and whispered, "There are always...consequences."

With that, Snape pulled away to his own seat, cancelled the Muffliato, and disappeared behind that morning's edition of The Daily Prophet.

A second later, Molly Weasley turned back towards the table and took notice of the boys' pale faces. "What's the matter with you two?"

"N-nothing," they both shouted in unison.

"Hmmph. Well finish your breakfast then," she said with a raised brow before setting a steaming plate of food down in front of Snape.

Severus folded the top of his newspaper over and glanced at the plate. "Thank you, Molly."

"You're quite welcome," she responded, turning back with two more plates as Hermione and Ginny took their places at the table.

As he set in upon his serving of eggs, Snape chanced a glance in his young lover's direction before flicking his gaze back to the two miscreants. He allowed himself a grin as he considered the second rule of espionage - always know how to handle a threat.