Spencer, looking satisfied by the results of his exclamation, nodded proudly and perched himself on the arm of the nearby sofa.

Derek looked stunned, as if he had never considered the possibility that his baby sister could ever bring home a boy.

Gideon looked confused.

Penelope looked excited.

Aaron looked like he was either going to pass out, have a heart attack, have a panic attack, or some other attack that would send him to the hospital.

"Oh Will" in the silence of the room, JJ's voice could be heard perfectly. "You really are amazing, have I ever told you that?"

"Will" Aaron snarled.

"Only everyday, sweetheart" replied a long, drawling voice that must have belonged to Will. Derek cracked his knuckles, his eyes narrowing with contempt. Already his protective-brother-mode was coming out.

Spencer smiled in anticipation at the drama that was sure to unfold. No one even seemed to remember that he was meant to be serving time up in his bedroom.

"Let's go up to my bedroom?" JJ said, in a suggesting voice. Aaron spluttered, his eyes growing even wider than before.

"You can hear the invitation in her voice" Derek muttered. "Isn't it sickening?"

"Invitation to what?" Penelope looked confused. "A party? Why wasn't I invited?"

"Just let me put my bag in the lounge" JJ continued. There was the sound of footsteps, and then she was standing in the lounge room, a smile on her face. When she saw the occupants of the room, the smile faded.

"Oh god" she whispered.

"Whats wrong?" Will's voice sounded somewhere from behind her, and then he too was standing in the room. He paled when he saw who else was inside.

"Oh" he said, his voice faltering slightly. "Hello."

He flinched at the heat of Aaron and Derek's glares.

JJ turned to Spencer, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"You said you'd cover for me!" she yelled, ignoring Aaron's angry yell of "WHAT?" "You told me you'd get them out of the house!"

"You told me to get them out of the house on Tuesday" Spencer disagreed, putting his hands on his hips. "It's Monday."

"I said Monday!" JJ yelled, frustration evident on her face.

"No, you said Tuesday" Spencer retorted. "I should know. I do have an eidetic memory after all." He turned to Gideon. "She tends to do this a lot. Argue. You get used to it after a while."

"JJ, who is this boy?" Aaron yelled, shooting said male a venomous look. The boy flinched.

"I...I'm Will LaMontagne, sir, and I swear, my intentions towards your daughter are completely innocent."

"If it was 'completely innocent' then why were you heading towards her bedroom?" Derek demanded, glaring suspiciously and cracking his knuckles.

"Derek, shut up!" snapped JJ, furiously. "It's none of your business! And you" her heated glare turned back to Spencer. "I know I said Monday, alright? Stop being such a...such a...smarty-pants!"

"But I am a 'smarty-pants' as you say. I have an IQ higher than yours and I'm five years younger. There's no point in pretending."

"I can't believe you!" JJ yelled. "I covered for you when I saw you sneaking off with that skank, Lila Archer!"

"WHAT?" Aaron howled. "Spencer, what?"

"She's not a skank" Spencer said, narrowing his eyes. "She is a fine lady, and I made the first move. By the way, things didn't work out but we decided to stay friends - thanks for asking."

"Spencer, you are six" Aaron spluttered, gaping at his son.

"So" Spencer retorted. "No sexual intercourse went on - unlike you and Her." Spencer's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.

Aaron spluttered.

"Excuse me." The whole family turned and suddenly, everyone remembered who was present in their home.

"Jason!" Aaron exclaimed. "I am so sorry -"

"No, no" Gideon laughed, shaking his head. "It's perfectly fine - in fact this is probably one of the most...interesting dinners I have been to in a long time."

"That normally translates into 'you are all freaks. I'm going to back away slowly now. Goodbye'" everyone turned to stare at Spencer. "I'm going to be a profiler one day, just like Daddy" he added, beaming at Gideon.

"I'm going to go..." Will said, backing away slowly. Aaron's head snapped around, his gaze growing instantly cold.

"Oh no" he said. "You are going to stay right there."

"Dad!" JJ yelled. "This isn't a prison cell! You can't force him to stay here!"

"Did JJ tell you I work for the FBI?" Aaron continued, ignoring his daughter in favor of smirking menacingly at her frightened boyfriend.

"DAD!" JJ yelled. "Oh my god, this is why I never brought Will around before - you always overreact!"

"Your Dad's in the FBI?" Will whispered to JJ, his voice coated in horror.

"Don't worry, he's just a profiler" JJ replied, soothingly.

"I still carry a gun" Aaron growled.

Will paled.

"Dad, shut up okay!" JJ exclaimed. "Will was just about to leave, anyway. I'll walk you to the door, okay?" the last bit was directed to her boyfriend, who looked slightly relieved. Aaron, however, intervened.

"Oh no" he replied. "Will can stay for dinner. We have some...things to talk about."

Will paled.

"Dad!" JJ snarled. "Look, thats not a good idea, okay? Besides, you have your boss over!"

"Oh I don't mind" Gideon assured her. JJ grit her teeth.

"Well its settled then!" Aaron said, clapping his hands with false cheer. "Will, take a seat, dinner should be ready soon."

"That's what you think" Spencer murmured, glancing knowingly in the direction of the kitchen. Derek paled at the reminder of dinner; the dinner he had promised Emily he was going to get. The dinner he had zero chance of getting his hands on now.

'This is not good' he thought.

"Dinners ready!"

The sound of Emily's voice startled him out of his thoughts. He whirled around to see his sister standing in the doorway, a smile on her face.

Derek felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. 'There's no way Emily could have gotten her hands on more turkey...' he thought, as he gaze at his sister in confusion.

"Yay!" Penelope giggled, running towards the doorway. "Can I set the dinner table?"

"Already did it, kiddo" Emily replied, ruffling her sisters hair. "But you can help me bring out dinner."

"Will has to leave now" JJ announced, standing up and reaching down for her boyfriends hand.

"Will stays" Aaron snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. Will flinched and JJ scowled.

The family, Gideon and Will headed for the dining room, the latter covering behind his girlfriend.

They entered the dining room and sat around the table, which had already been set out. Derek sat at the edge, still feeling confused.

"Everyone sitting down?" Emily called out. "Penelope and I will start bringing the dinner out."

She passed Derek, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "When you say 'trust me'" she said. "I usually have a back-plan."

She left the room, heading towards the kitchen. A few moments later she was back, grasping bowls of food. Penelope followed close behind, doing the same thing.

Emily set one of the bowls down in front of her father.

"Enjoy!" she said, cheerfully.

"Emily" Aaron said, staring down at his bowl, incredulously. "What is this?"

"Dinner" Emily replied, raising one eyebrow.

"This is a bowl full of vegetables" Aaron replied, dead-panned. "Wheres the turkey?"

"Don't worry" Emily smiled. "It's in there. Just...surrounded in vegetables. I thought it might be interesting to do."

She headed back to the kitchen to grab more bowls of food, leaving her incredulous father behind her.

"How is a bowl full of vegetables interesting?"

Emily came back moments later, and distributed the rest of the bowls.

"It certainly is...interesting...what you've done here" Gideon said, gazing at the bowl in confusion. "Any particular reason you've presented dinner this way?"

He seemed desperate to find an answer as to why his meal looked so strange.

"It's a Chinese tradition" Emily replied, her answer sounding slightly rehearsed. "I read about it online somewhere and thought it might be cool to try out.

"This isn't a Chinese dining tradition" Spencer disagreed. "I'd know if it was."

"Well, obviously, you aren't as smart as you thought you were" Emily said, promptly. "Now eat your dinner, Spencer. Stop arguing." Her gaze flitted briefly to Will, and her brow furrowed in confusion. "Whose he?"

Aaron's face darkened immediately. JJ glared at her sister and made a vicious slashing motion with one hand.

Spencer interrupted what could have become a very heated verbal (and perhaps physical) battle.

"Where are the chopsticks?"

"What?" Emily almost groaned.

"The chopsticks" Spencer repeated, scowling slightly. "Chinese food is always served along with chopsticks. I think even this fake Chinese meal deserves that. So I'll ask again Emily - where are the chopsticks?"

"I flushed them down the toilet" Emily snapped. "Now eat your vegetables."

"Wheres the turkey?" Spencer grumbled. "Or did you flush that down the toilet too?"

"It's in there" Emily said. "Somewhere" she waved her hand, awkwardly. "Just...dig around a bit, or something."

"I'm digging around" JJ said. "And I'm not finding any turkey..."

"Well then, keep digging" Emily flung her arms in the air. "What is wrong with you guys? I try to do something good and everyone judges me for it!"

"There is a reason I've been looking into mental institutions..." Spencer whispered to Gideon.

"This is going to be another dinner disaster, isn't it?" JJ sighed.

"Guys" Aaron reprimanded. "I don't think your bring fair to your sister."

"Fair?" JJ exclaimed, incredulously. "Your one to talk about being fair! You won't let my boyfriend leave the house! I swear, this must count as kidnapping or something!"

A choking noise filled the room, cutting of whatever else JJ may have ranted about.

"Um..." Derek looked slightly sick. "I think I found the turkey..."

A small, blackened mess sat on his plate, from when he had spit it out. He turned to stare at Emily, who was gazing at the ground with wide eyes.

"Seriously?" he exclaimed. "Your brilliant back up plan was to serve us the burnt turkey? Of all the things you could have done...you shoved the burnt turkey in the bowl? You could have just given us the vegetables, but no...the burnt turkey just had to come along in the package deal!"

"Oh shut up!" Emily snapped. "I thought the vegetables would wash out the taste, alright?"

"Emily" Aaron pushed his bowl away from him and stood up. "What is going on?"

"Nothing!" she snapped. "It's just a minor set back, alright? God, does everyone in the family have a problem?" she turned viciously to stare at Will. "And no one's told me who the hell he is!"

She pointed viciously in Will's direction. He flinched back.

"He is my boyfriend" JJ replied, narrowing her eyes. "My boyfriend who someone is holding hostage - which is illegal, by the way!"

"No one is holding anyone hostage!" Aaron snapped. He turned back to face Emily. "Now, Emily, tell me why the turkey is burnt!"

"We're all going to starve" Spencer announced, despondently.

"The turkeys fine" Emily grumbled. She took a deep breath, and her shoulders slumped. "Okay, I might have burnt it a little..."

"A little?" Aaron raised his eyebrows.

Emily let out a small sigh. "Alright...a lot."

"Emily!" Aaron exclaimed. "You mean to tell me, when I walked into the kitchen, something was really wrong?"

"No!" Emily replied. She swallowed hard. "Okay, maybe" her shoulders slumped. "...Yes."

"You should have told me!" Aaron rubbed his temples and let out a breath of frustration. "You know how much I was counting on you to get this dinner right!"

Emily swallowed hard, looking guiltier than she had in a long time.

"Dad" she said. "I am so sorry. This is why I didn't tell Derek and I didn't tell you...we knew how important to you this was."

"Derek!" Aaron turned to stare at his son, incredulously. "You too?"

"Perfect, Em" Derek grumbled. "Sell me out...wow, it's great to know I can always count on you when times are tough...what a joke..."

"Shut up" Aaron ordered. Derek complied. "You mean to tell me that all that suspicious behaviour was because of this? All that sneaking around...was because of this?"

"Emily, Emily, Emily..." Derek muttered, shaking his head. "You just couldn't keep your mouth shut..."

"I would have understood if you'd told me about this!" Aaron exclaimed. "I'm angry that you guys lied to me. You knew how important this dinner was for my job...how important this promotion is to me..."

"Aaron" Gideon put a hand on the other mans shoulder, and suddenly Aaron remembered that his boss was still in the room. "Being a good profiler has nothing to do with whether or not you can prepare a good dinner. If I didn't think yo wee up for the promotion, then I wouldn't give it to you, no matter how this dinner turned out."

Aaron's shoulders slumped.

"Is that your way of softening the blow?"

Gideon smiled. "Aaron, I was prepared to give you that promotion for a while now. I'm not about to change my mind just because your daughter isn't a very good cook - and I mean no offense by that, Emily."

Emily shrugged. "I've heard worse."

Gideon turned back to Aaron and let out a small laugh. "Now if you were the bad cook it would be a whole other story..."

There was an awkward silence.

"That was a joke!" Gideon announced.

No one laughed.

"Yes, well..." he coughed, awkwardly. "The fact is, Aaron, you have that promotion in the bag, and I'm not about to change my mind. Well...unless you do something completely uncharacteristic, like murder someone, or hold someone hostage."

"Hello!" JJ exclaimed. "Has no one noticed my poor, poor boyfriend, who is being held here against his will? Is that not considered a hostage situation?"

"Give it a rest, JJ" Aaron snapped. He turned back to Gideon, and smiled widely. "So everything's alright then?"

"Everything's fine" Gideon confirmed. His stomach gave a small rumble, and he let out a sigh. "Though I am a little hungry..."

"We still have dessert" Aaron replied, still smiling.

Emily froze.

"Oh god..." she moaned. "Dessert."

Aaron's smile grew slightly strained.

With all of this going on, no one even noticed when JJ and Will snuck away from the table...or when they snuck upstairs to JJ's room.

"You can escape though the window" JJ whispered. "I'll deal with Dad later - you shouldn't have to put up with him. I swear, he takes things way over the limits."

"Well he is your father..." Will murmured, though he gazed nervously over his shoulder.

"JENNIFER HOTCHNER! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?"

JJ froze on the foot of the staircase. Will let out a shuddering breath, his eyes filled with fear.

"I'm dead" he whispered. "I'm dead, and I didn't even get to make it in life!"

"JJ" Aaron appeared in the doorway, a deadly look on his face. "I cannot believe that, after all that, you'd pull something like this!"

"So, so dead..." Will continued to mutter.

"Leading a boy up to your bedroom...to do who-knows-what..." Aaron shook his head in disgust.

"Wait, hold on!" JJ exclaimed. "I wasn't going to do that. I was sneaking Will out!"

Aaron scoffed. "That's what they all say."

"Look" JJ sounded frustrated. "Can we just leave it? I mean...shouldn't you be impressing your boss or something?"

"Come back to the kitchen" Aaron snapped. "We're finishing our dinner."

JJ looked incredulous. "What dinner?"

"The vegetables" Aaron replied, cooly. "We wouldn't want them to go to waste."

"Cold vegetables" JJ dead-panned. "Brilliant. Just brilliant."

When Aaron turned his back and headed back to the dining room, JJ leaned towards Will.

"When he goes into the room" she whispered. "Make a run for it."

"I keep a gun on me at all times" Aaron said, loudly.

Will shuddered.

"You know what" he said, quivering slightly. "I think staying for dinner would be a...great idea."

The three headed back to the dining room, where they sat down at the table with the rest of the family and struggled to eat the cold, soggy vegetables.

"We can't continue like this" Spencer moaned, through mouthfuls of the slimy food. "Something needs to be done..."

Emily kicked him from under the table.

"I agree" Derek gagged slightly. "I think we should ban Emily from the kitchen until further notice...and by 'further notice' I mean forever..."

"Oh shut up" Emily snapped. "It's just a few small mistakes...I'm still learning!"

"At this rate" Derek muttered. "You'll always be learning."

And then they saw the water. It crept under the kitchen door, soaking the carpet of the dining room, and making a clear sign to everyone that there was a lot more where that came from.

"Oh no" Emily moaned. "I left the tap on!"