A/N: Wrote this a while back for the kink meme, don't even remember if I posted it there or not. Welp. :/

Warnings: Handjob

Practice Makes Perfect

Masaomi has always been his best friend. He always will be. Mikado is sure of it. And while he feels a little weird when Masaomi mentions to him about how good Saki was at… those sorts of things, he just laughs it off. He doesn't tell Masaomi that he has no idea what the words he's saying actually mean, let alone that he's never actually had a girlfriend. He laughs it off when Masaomi tells him it's nowhere near the same as "doing it yourself."

When Masaomi says "You know what I mean?" and looks at him with that sparkly yearning look that makes Mikado's tummy flutter, he doesn't laugh. He squeaks.

At least it made Masaomi laugh.

"No, really." His laughter trailed off. "You know what I mean?"

Mikado shrugs uncomfortably, and when Masaomi only looks at him in confusion he responds quietly. "N-no." He stares, red-faced, at the floor.

"Y'know, jacking off? Beating the meat? Spanking the monkey? Draining the monster? Getting' friendly with Mrs. Thumb and her four daughters?

Mikado shakes his head a little.

"You've never touched yourself?" Kida is staring at him owlishly now.

"Once," he says after a moment. "Just once." He looks up slowly. Masaomi is still looking at him like he's an alien.

"Really?" He slumps.

"Yes, and I stopped…." Mikado can feel his cheeks burning as he tries his hardest to sound sure of his actions.

"Why? It's not like it's weird or anything. And it feels fantastic!" When Kida throws his arms up it the air exuberantly, it startles Mikado.

"It felt weird to me…"

"I can just see a poor pre-pubescent Mikado struck by the thought of his first love, feeling all warm and confused, reaching down—"

"Masaomi!" Mikado blushes furiously, shoving his friend. "Don't say things like that!"

Masaomi laughs and arches his back as he stretches out on his bed. "You should try it."

Mikado glances at his friend. "Make me."

He knows better than to challenge Masaomi. He really does. That's what Mikado tells himself when he feels Masaomi's hands under his arms, roughly pulling him up onto the bed beside him.

"Maybe I will." Masaomi's Cheshire grin is enough to make his stomach flutter in a way that he can't really describe.

"Ha ha, Masaomi, very funny. Let me up." Mikado pushes at Kida's shoulder.

"Who says I was trying to be funny, Mikado~?" Mikado can feel Kida's breath on his lips. His eyes are half-closed, and his hands are above Mikado's shoulders on either side of his head. "Have you ever even kissed a girl before?"

"I-I never really wanted to?"

Masaomi shakes his head, laughing softly. "You're a real piece of work, Mikado. You're telling me you've never wanted to do this?" Mikado gasps as soft lips press firmly against his chapped ones. They move, coaxing, and Mikado mentally flails a little while he tries to process that his best friend is kissing him, and it's really nice, and ohshit he should be kissing back.

But as Masaomi pulls away, it's too late. "Aw, man, maybe it's a good thing you've never kissed anyone."

"You caught me off guard!" Mikado's flush burns up to his ears.

"I guess I could give you a second chance~" Kida leans down again, brushing his lips against Mikado's before he presses them down.

Mikado, less frazzled this time, kisses back as best he knows how. He presses back, moving his lips in what he knows is probably a horrible mimicry of what Masaomi just did.

"Not half bad for your second kiss, I guess." The playful smirk across Masaomi's mouth stirs up the butterflies in Mikado's stomach again.

"Can you get off me now?" He realizes after the fact that he's whining.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Mikado!" Kida grins. "I can't let you up until I've helped you experience the magic that is masturbation~!"

His face burned. "B-but! You! And Mikajima-san! And…."

It's Kida's turn to laugh now. "Saki was forever ago, and besides, Mikado's my best friend, right? Or does Anri-chan hold that spot now~?" Kida's theatrical pout is enough to make Mikado laugh again.

"No, that will always be Masaomi's spot."

"Then you shouldn't mind too much~ Right?" He winks, and walks two finger across Mikado's chest.

"I-I mean—Masaomi doesn't like boys…"

"But I like Mikado." Kida grins and brushes his nose against Mikado's.

Mikado reddens. That statement certainly did interesting things to his body.

"What'dya say, Mikado? Let me teach you?"

Mikado tries to shrink himself into the mattress. "If it's Masaomi…"

"It'll be good. Promise." Another wink and Kida's hand is slipping under Mikado's untucked uniform shirt. His fingertips are exploring Mikado's stomach, sliding over his ribs, down his hip bone, and back up to dip into his naval.

Kida is grinning mischievously when he sits back between Mikado's legs and clutches his belt buckle. "So, Mikado, boxers or briefs?"

Mikado flushes, and closes his eyes embarrassedly. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"

"I will then." Kida rips the belt from its loops before Mikado can even register the clink as it falls to the floor.

He looks up at Kida, a little startled. Kida was smirking. "Practice~" He replies to Mikado's unspoken "how?" Kida undoes Mikado's button and unzips his zipper. He taps Mikado's hip. "Up."

Mikado hesitantly lifts his hips, not sure that's what Kida wants him to do. His pants and boxers are tugged half-way down his thighs, and Mikado's face is more red than ever.

"Not too shabby, Mikado." Kida trails a finger along the underside of the half-hard shaft. It twitches. Mikado's eyes close. "Well, first." He felt Kida move away and the nightstand drawer opened and closed. He opened his eyes to see a tube in Kida's hand. "Lube."

He blinked, now closely watching Kida put some on his palm and warm it between his fingers. Kida wrapped his fingers around his length firmly. His thumb slicks over the head, and Mikado's eyes flutter shut again.

Kida hums. "I thought it felt weird~?" He strokes down slowly, working his friend to full hardness. Teeth find Mikado's lip, whether they're holding back a soft moan or a snaky retort Kida isn't quite sure. Either way, he's happy with the reaction.

He looks at the shaft in his hand. Mikado is smaller than him, but that makes sense, since he's smaller than Kida everywhere else. His pubic hair is dark, like Kida's. Kida had thought about bleaching that too once, but the idea of it irritating anything down there with bleach was enough of a deterrent. Mikado's hips and legs are twitching.

Kida quickens his strokes, swirling his thumb over the tip and reaching down to cup Mikado's balls.

Mikado gasps now. Soft noises spill forth. "It feels a lot better than you thought, huh?" He squeezes his hand gently, finally pulling a moan from Mikado.

"Hm~ Mikado, who are you thinking about doing this? Sonohara-san? A pop star maybe~?"

"Masaomi!" Mikado cries out as he comes.

Kida laughs and leans back over to the night stand to grab a tissue. "I know you're a little pissed, but scolding me while I'm jacking you off? I see how grateful you are for me enlightening you~!" Kida wipes off his hand and passes another tissue to Mikado.

Mikado sits up slowly. He takes the proffered tissue and cleans himself off.

"If you keep it up you'll build up some more stamina, and here." He pushes the half-empty tube at Mikado. "Practice."

"Why does it matter to Masaomi?" Mikado asks after a moment of clearing his head. The butterflies come back as he waits for the answer. He glances at the blonde hopefully.

"Because Mikado's my friend, and you gotta learn about your body. Ladies love~ it."

"…Right." Mikado pulls himself off the bed and pulls up his uniform pants.

"Hey, Mikado…"

"Yeah."

"So…" Kida looks up at him. "Wanna help me with that paper?" His serious face splits into a grin.

Mikado's face falls. "No way! You just practically molested me!"

"You liked it though!"

"No."

"C'mon, just a little trade off?"

Mikado grabs the pillow off Kida's bed and smacks it against Kida's face. "Not a chance."

"Meeeeeean~!"