The tap tap tap on the front door took a while to wake Ste.

He hadn't been deeply asleep; he had barely managed to sleep at all since he was no longer being worn out by work, but the tap was so polite it took a while to invade his consciousness, and even longer for him to realise it was coming from the front door.

He checked the time on his phone. Five am. Who knocked at five am? But the knocking came again, so he pulled himself out of bed, grabbing his dressing gown from a hook on his bedroom door, and went to check who it was.

"Ste?" a quiet voice said from the outside. Ste scrunched up his face in confusion. Was that…

"Declan?"

"Ste, are you up?"

Ste sighed. "I am now," he said and pulled open the door. "Do you know what time it is? What you doing here?"

He switched on the hall light, hoping he'd closed the kids' doors last night so they wouldn't be disturbed. Declan's face was pale, but red around the eyes. He didn't answer Ste's questions, but did have the grace to look guilty, presumably for waking Ste up at such an ungodly hour.

"Can I come in?" the teenager asked.

Ste stepped back, "Course," he said. Declan quietly stepped over the threshold, and Ste shut out the cold January air.

"What are you doing here?" Ste asked again. Declan looked at the floor, then hopefully at the sofa he could just make out in the living room. Ste realised he wasn't being sensitive. "Oh, right, go through. Do you want a drink or sommat?"

"No thanks," replied Declan, "do you mind if I just… stay here… for a bit."

Part of Ste wanted to shout 'No.' He didn't want to be on the receiving end of Brendan's wrath for again breaking the 'don't go near Declan' rule, however ridiculous that rule was. Another part of him couldn't throw out a kid who was asking for help.

"I take it your Dad don't know you're here." He said, buying time for thinking as much as anything.

"No," said Declan, looking at his feet.

It was five in the morning. Declan looked more exhausted than Ste felt. Put it off, that was best. Brendan wouldn't even be worried yet. And he had a sneaky suspicion that when he got the full story, he wouldn't want to take Declan back at all. He knew how Brendan finished arguments.

"Look, why don't you get some kip? You look like you could use it." He indicated the sofa. A look of relief crossed Declan's face. Good, it was the right decision. "I'll get you a blanket."

As Ste looked for something to put over Declan, he thought about Brendan, and what he was and wasn't capable of. He'd said he'd never touch his kids, but he'd promised Ste a lot of things too. Truth was not high on Brendan Brady's priority list. And Declan was almost not a kid anymore – he was taller than Ste now. Would that change Brendan's view point? Ste wasn't sure.

He pulled out a blanket and gave it to Declan. "We'll talk in the morning. The proper morning," he said, then went back to bed.

He didn't really sleep much though.

…..

Ste let Declan stay put for a good portion of the morning. He had to explain to Amy why he was there, and then sort out the kids as Amy had a shift. He left Declan in front of the telly as he took the kids to nursery, then came back with some dread.

When he got back, Declan was still in front of the telly, though Ste thought he probably wasn't actually watching. He made some tea, then sat down with him

He was scared to ask. What could he do if Brendan had hit Declan? Was Ste really brave enough to make a stand? He certainly couldn't afford a ticket back to Ireland for Declan. He would have to contact Eileen, which was not exactly something to look forward to. And would that be betraying Brendan?

No. This was about the safety of a kid. He couldn't worry about Brendan. Whatever he'd forgiven Brendan for in the past was not the same as this.

"So…" he said, eventually, "what did he do?"

Declan looked at him, slightly surprised, though Ste wasn't sure what at. "What did who do?" he asked.

"Yer Dad, obviously," said Ste.

"It wasn't him. It was my fault. I just…" he trailed off and stared at the floor. Ste wondered if this was what he looked like when he was trying to hide the abuse from Amy.

"It's alright," he reassured, "I know what he can be like."

Declan looked, if anything, more worried by that. The boy hesitated. Then he said "He was just so angry."

A series of loud bangs sounded against the front door. Declan's eyes flew to it and Ste saw him swallow.

"Get in that bedroom there." Ste whispered," If it is him, I won't let him in, but just in case." Ste waited for Declan to disappear before he opened the door.

It was Brendan, and he was looking for Declan. Ste decided to evade rather than lie, but couldn't let him know Declan was inside – Brendan storming in now wouldn't help anyone. But all the time feeling some revulsion at the man who could hurt so many people he was supposed to care about. How could he do that to a kid? Then expect Ste to just roll over? Well, Ste wasn't a pushover, and he knew exactly how to get at Brendan.

"Why, what have you done now?" he asked, confrontationally.

Brendan was not in the mood for sharing, "You don't get to ask me questions any more, Stephen," he growled.

Push more. Get a reaction, a reason to keep Declan away. "Let me guess, you've scared him off, ain't ya?" Too far. Brendan noticed

"What do you know?" he demanded.

Ste couldn't give Declan away, "What do I know? Erm, I know that you wouldn't be knocking on my door looking for him unless there was a pretty big reason." Not a lie, just not the truth. Brendan didn't see through that, but it did annoy him. He started to stroll off.

"Well if you see him…"

Not a reaction yet, Ste hadn't got to him yet.

"You know, I knew it wouldn't last!" he called after him.

Brendan turned, "What's that?" he demanded.

With Brendan's attention back Ste knew how to twist the knife in, "The novelty! It was always going to wear of, weren't it? I said he didn't have a clue who you were, so I'm guessing he worked it out."

Brendan squared him off, his look of contempt working, but he wasn't really annoyed yet. He was far too amused for Ste's liking. "Well, look at you, running your mouth off again, you never learn do you?"

"He's worked out there's only one person that matters in Brendan's life right, and that's Brendan."

That one worked. Before Ste had even finished the sentence, Brendan had pushed him against that wall. Hard. He didn't say anything though, so Ste continued, proven right. "Like I said, you are who you are right?"

Brendan must have sensed his intentions, "Enjoying this ain't ya?"

"No" replied Ste, wondering whether he was being completely honest. He was getting a vague sense of validation.

"No" Brendan repeated.

"I feel sorry for ya," Ste continued.

Brendan continued to stare at him for a few seconds, and then surprised Ste. "I love my son."

Ste let out an involuntary laugh. "Love? You can love anyone. And you know why? Because you hate yourself too much." He'd said it before, but it was true, and Brendan was proving it with every move. His face flushed with fury and he shoved Ste back against the wall again. Then he repeated. "I love my son. "

This time, Ste found himself almost believing him. Brendan let him go, then strolled off and a small wave of guilt for the worry Brendan must be going through flittered through Ste as he watched him go.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe in Brendan's messed up head you could love someone and hurt them.

No, that was a bad way to think.

He went back inside, shutting the door firmly behind him and checking for any tell-tale signs of the older Irish man, before giving the all clear to Declan.

The lad emerged cautiously from the bedroom before plonking himself back on the sofa. "What happened?" he asked.

Ste sat down on a nearby chair. "He's worried about ya. He asked me if I'd seen you. I didn't answer, just wound him up a bit," Ste paused, then added "but he did say he loves you."

Declan nodded, staring at the floor. Ste recognised the tell tale signs of guilt. Then he remembered how Brendan had managed to get him to apologise for the first beating.

"But don't you let that, you know, make you forget what he's done!" Ste added quickly, "I mean, it's dead serious that, in't it? You mustn't start feeling guilty now!"

"It's my fault, though!" Declan insisted.

"Of course it isn't! Nothing you could have done would be worth that!"

Declan looked confused. Ste tried to look sympathetic. "It's alright," he said, "like I said, I know what he's like. Why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"

Declan did. He talked about a football game and a pub quiz. His description of his own aggression made Ste squirm a bit. This was not the impression he got of Declan in the summer. He'd seemed so friendly and kind of innocent. The thought of him threatening Darren and Nancy made Ste feel a bit sick, even if he was only doing it to impress his Dad. Then about hitting a boy in the cinema. In between his own actions, he described his father's reactions.

But it was all such Brendanny stuff. It was hero worship. Ste could tell from the way Declan talked about Brendan. And Ste knew that feeling. Brendan was attractive and appealing as a father figure and role model. It had formed a big part of Ste's initial attraction to him.

But it was what was missing from this story that struck Ste the most. There was no violence. Ste realised Declan hadn't mentioned any once, it was just that Ste had expected some. He barely dared check.

"So, he didn't actually…" he trailed off.

"Didn't what?" Declan asked, confused and frowning.

"Er… you know…" Ste didn't know what to say now. Did Declan know how Brendan could be? Well, yes, obviously. He'd seen Brendan beat Ste up. But maybe he hadn't really believed Rae, maybe he hadn't realised Brendan had beaten up the man he said he loved. Was Ste really the best person to tell Declan something like that?

"What should I do, Ste?" the boy asked. "I want to stay with Dad. Mam says awful things about him, like he's some sort of nut job, but he's still my Dad, and…"

Ste really didn't know what to say. Just because Brendan hadn't hurt Declan didn't mean he wouldn't. On the other hand, he'd seen for himself how worried Brendan was, and Cheryl was bound to be the same. "What do you want to do?"

Declan thought for a bit. "What did you mean earlier? What did you think he'd done?"

Ste hesitated again. "I can't really…" then he stopped again. "It don't matter. If you want to go back to your Dad's then, that's where we'll go. But, remember, yeah, if you ever need to, you know, get out of there, you can come here and we'll contact your Mum, OK?"

Declan seemed to think about it.

"He does love you," Ste added hoping it would help.

"Alright," Said Declan, eventually.

Ste nodded, "Right," he said and got up. Then stopped. Brendan would kill him for this, without waiting to figure out if it was a misunderstanding. "Er, can we just talk about what we tell your Dad?"

They decided on the way. Declan didn't push the reasoning. He must know Brendan better than any of them thought. Ste wasn't sure whether that was a relief or a worry.

The door was open when they got there.